Old Time Risque Lyrics

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Explicit lyrics are common today, but apparently not new. Some stories show some songs banned in some places when they came out.

I'M A BEAR IN A LADY'S BOUDOIR
Cliff Edwards


Cliff Edwards rec Oct 25th 1933




You may talk about your colleges, fair Harvard and old Yale,
And all the universities who's banners brave the gale,
And all the football heroes, their glory and renown;
I never went to college, but I know I've been to town!


I may not be a football hero,
But I'm a star with the beautiful girls;
You never see me in the thick of a fight,
'Cause I do my scoring mostly at night!


I never tackle any dummies,
I've played the best from near and far,
No I ain't, no I'm not a football hero,
But I'm a bear in a lady's boudoir!


They play football on the gridiron,
Where the ground is rough and hard;
I do my playing on a divan,
The ladies all say I'm a triple threat man!


I never have to call for time out,
For I'm always up to par!
Oh I ain't, no I'm not a football hero,
I'm a bear in a lady's boudoir!


i never fought for alma mater,
Because she never fought for me!
The boys win a letter for not playing rough,
I should get an alphabet for doing my stuff!


I'm pretty good at center rushing,
That's the place I really star!
Oh I may not be, I'm not a football hero,
But I'm a dog in a lady's boudoir!


One time I swung into action,
I was rewarded with wild acclaim!
The captain said to me, "You're just a little runt,
As long as you've been playing you've never touched a punt!",


When I removed my interference,
The goal was not so very far!
Oh I ain't, no I'm not a football hero,
Bit I'm a l-l-lady in a l-l-lady's boudoir!​

I like the 'center rushing' line.

 

[ryan8558]

Cliff Edwards was the voice of Jiminy Cricket.

 

[oggbashan]

Max Miller

The Hiking Song

A boy took his girl to the seaside
One Sunday morn in July;
They hadn't seen much of each other,
So, sunbathing they thought they'd try.

With only seaweed for a costume,
They lay on the sands all the day,
But now they've seen more of each other
'Cos the tide washed the seaweed away.

A boy and a girl went out hiking,
Of course, they were both wearing shorts;
They stopped at the old 'Pig and Whistle',
And there had a couple of ports.

When they got back the same evening,
The neighbours all started to quiz,
For he came home late wearing her shorts...
She came home late wearing his.

Down on the farm in the country
A funny thing happened one day,
The hen and the rooster were talking,
Here's what they both had to say:

Said the rooster, "I can't understand it,
You used to lay eggs by the score."
Said the hen, "Well, old cock, I can't help it...
You don't come around anymore."

One day a girl she was bathing,
The maid said, "Here comes Mr. Tree".
She said, "All right, bring him here to me...
He's quite safe, the poor chap can't see."

She stood there like beautiful Venus,
When into the bathroom walked Jack.
He Said, "I've just come to tell you...
Today I got my eyesight back."

An old man of ninety got married,
The bride was so young and so bold,
In his car they both went honeymooning...
She married the old man for gold.

A year later he was a daddy,
At ninety he still had the knack;
He took one look at the baby...
And then gave the chauffeur the sack.

Lulu

Lulu, I know that you do
Think that I've been fooling all along.
No matter what I do,
I somehow know that you
Always seem to get me wrong.

Lulu, I wouldn't fool you,
I'm always saying nice things to you.
I'll take you in the country
Each Sunday for a trip,
And as we climb the hills
I'll walk behind in case you slip.

Lulu, I wouldn't fool you,
In anything I say or do.
I'll take you to the seaside
Not very far from town,
And as we lay upon the sands
We'll both get nice and brown,
And if the sun should scorch your back
I'll always turn you round...
I wouldn't fool you, Lulu.

Lulu, I wouldn't fool you,
When in a swimming pool, to cool you
I'll dive right off the deep end
Because I've got the knack,
Then I can do the breast stroke
While you're floating on your back.

Lulu, I wouldn't fool you,
In anything I say or do,
We'll swim around together,
You'll like it I am sure,
We'll stay beneath the water
For half an hour or more,
Then I can teach you lots of strokes
You've never done before...
I wouldn't fool you, Lulu.

Mary from the Dairy

I fell in love with Mary from the dairy
But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me.
Down by an old mill stream
We both sat down to dream
Little did she know that I was thinking up a scheme,

She said, 'Let's pick some buttercups and daisies',
But those buttercups were full of margarine
She slipped and we both
Down by a wishing well
In the same place where I fell for Nellie Dean.

I fell in love with Mary from the Dairy,
But Mary wouldn't fall in love with me;
Down by an old mill stream
We both sat down to dream:
That was when I offered her my strawberries and cream

We walked and talked together in the moonlight,
She asked me what I knew of farmery,
I said, 'Mary, I'm no fool,
You can't milk Barney's Bull.'
That's when Mary from the dairy fell for me.

Little did she know that I was thinking up a scheme,
The wife she says that she is going to leave me,
The moment that she does then I am free,
There's a little girl I know
I'll take her and I'll show,
Where Mary from the Dairy fell for me.

( VARIATION )

'Now on our farm,' said Mary from the dairy,
'We've got the finest cows you've ever seen.
I don't do things by halves -
I'll let you see my calves,
And they're not the same shape calves as Nellie Deans.

I Like The Girls Who Do

I never fall in love,
With the first girl that I meet,
I like to find out first
If she lives down our street.

I play the waiting game,
On that you can depend,
To find the girl I'm looking for
I'll get her in the end.

I don't like a girl too short,
I don't like a girl too tall,
As long as she's a sport,
For me she's bound to fall.

I don't like a girl with brains,
I much prefer a dunce,
Who'll stop me and buy one..
She'd like to try one...
And I'll try anything once.

I don't like the girls who paint,
Their cheeks just like a rose,
They may look what they ain't,
With powder on their nose.

They're painting their toenails...
The thing that makes me vexed
Is the way they're dressing...
They've got me guessing,
I wonder what they're going to paint next!

I don't like a girl a bit
Stuck up and brags a lot,
And says that she's got it,
What the others haven't got.

They all look alike to me,
I'm meeting her tonight,
If she's got that what she thinks is it,
Then I think I'll be all right!

I LIKE THE GIRLS THAT DO
by
Max MIller

I like the girls who do,
I like the girls who don't:
I like the girls who say they will,
And then decide they won't.
But the girls I like the most of all,
And I know you'll think I'm right,
Are the girls that say they never will,
But look as though they might!

Passing the time away


When the nights get nice and dark
I always go in the park,
I only go there for a lark,
Passing the time away.

I hear lovers bill and coo,
You'd be surprised if I told you
All the naughty things they do,
While passing the time away.

The other night a loving couple,
Courting close to me,
She was just turned twenty one
He was eighty three.

The rain came down, they'd got no gamp
They both sat down, the grass was damp,
He couldn't get up,,, he'd got the cramp,
Passing the time away.

Oh that girl was very nice
She didn't take her ma's advice,
Once, she did the same thing twice,
Passing the time away.

Her boyfriend took her to Southend,
For the afternoon to spend,
She must have stayed the whole weekend,
Passing the time away.

He took her on the sands,
Then he took her on the pier...
He was in the Navy
So he had the right idea.

Though she lives next door to me,
She's as sweet as sweet can be,
Now she's worried, I can see,
Passing the time away.

 

[oggbashan]

Paddy Roberts

THE BALLAD OF BETHNAL GREEN
by
Paddy Roberts

I'll tell a tale of a jealous male and a maid of sweet nineteen
She was blond and dumb and she lived with her Mum
On the edge of Bethnal Green
She worked all week for a rich old Greek
Her old man was on the dole
And her one delight on a Friday night
Was to have a bit of rock and roll.

Chorus To my rit-fal-lah, to my itty-fal-lal
To my itty-bitty-fal-dal day.

Then one fine day in the Month of May she found her big romance
He was smart and sleek, with a scar on his cheek
And a pair of drainpipe pants
And she thought ‘with you, I could be so true,
Through all the years to come’
For she loved the gay abandoned way
He chewed his chewing-gum.

Chorus...

It started well because he fell for all her girlish charms
But he had some doubt when he caught her out
In someone else’s arms
And he said, “Look here, you know my dear,
This is going a bit too far
And he went quite white and he sloshed her right
In the middle of her cha-cha-cha.

Chorus...

So he went before a man of the law who said, “This will not do
I’ve had about enough of this kind of stuff
As I want from the likes of you.”
And she was peeved when he received
A longish term in clink
In a fit of pique she married the Greek
And now she lives in mink.

Chorus...

[Age edited for Literotica!]

 

[oggbashan]

Flotsam and Jetsam

IS 'E AN AUSSIE, LIZZIE, IS 'E?
by
Flotsam and Jetsam


Learn how Lizzie met an Aussie
Told her girlfriend, Maryann
"Maryann, I've met a man...
Who says he is Australian."
"Fallen for 'im 'ave you Lizzie?"
Lizzie blushing, shook her head.
Said Maryann, "Don't think you can
Fool me." and then she said...

"Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, is 'e?
Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, aye?
Is it because 'e is an Aussie...
That 'e keeps you busy, Lizzie?
Has 'e jazzy ways and does 'e
Make you go all fuzzy wuzzy?
Got you dizzy, 'as 'e Lizzie?
Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, aye?"

"Seems this digger likes my figure."
Lizzie then told Maryann
"Likes my ways and claims to think 'em
What these Aussies call 'Fair Dinkum'
Throws a fond eye talks of Bondai
And he's tried to kiss me twice
When I've said, 'No!' he's said 'Good oh!'"
Said Maryann, "How nice!"

"Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, is 'e?
Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, aye?
Is it because 'e is an Aussie...
That 'e keeps you busy, Lizzie?
Has 'e jazzy ways and does 'e
Make you go all fuzzy wuzzy?
Got you dizzy, 'as 'e Lizzie?
Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, aye?"

Soon this wonder from down under
Got himself right down to biz.,
Lost no time in coaxing Liz
To promise that she would be his.
He, being well-born, lived in Melbourne
So they sailed at once for there
And Maryann without a man
Repeats this maidens prayer...

"Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, is 'e?
Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, aye?
Is it because 'e is an Aussie...
That 'e keeps you busy, Lizzie?
Has 'e jazzy ways and does 'e
Make you go all fuzzy wuzzy?
Got you dizzy, 'as 'e Lizzie?
Is 'e an Aussie, Lizzie, aye?"

 

[Lorilei]

Roll Your Leg Over

If all of the girls were bells in a tower
And I was a clapper, I'd bang one each hour
Go roll your leg over, roll your leg over
Roll your leg over the man in the moon.

If all of the girls were fish in the ocean
And I was a wave (or whale) I would teach them the motion.

I wish all of the girls were fish in a pool
And I was a whale with a waterproof tool.

If all of the girls were little white rabbits
And I was a hare, I would teach them bad habits.

If all them young ladies was up for improvement.
I'd give them some help with a ball-bearing movement.

If all them young ladies was little white kittens
And I was the tom cat, I'd give them new fittin's

If all them young ladies was B-29's,
And I was a fighter, I'd buzz their behinds.

If all them young ladies was bats in a steeple
And I were a bat---there'd be more bats than people.

If all them young ladies was diamonds and rubies
And I were a jeweler, I'd shine up their boobies.

If all them young ladies was wheels on a car,
Then I'd be the piston and go twice as far.

If all them young ladies was rushes a-growing,
I'd take out my scythe and set out a-mowing.

If all them young ladies was bricks on a pile,
Then I'd be the mason and I'd lay them in style.

If all the young ladies were singing this song
It would be twice as dirty and three times as long.

 

[oggbashan]

Lydia Pinkham



CHORUS:So we'll drink, drink, drink to Lydia Pinkham,
The savior of the human race,
The human race.
Oh, she makes, she bottles, she sells the Vegetable Compound,
And any man can sit on her face,
Sit on her face.

Now, Mr. had a very small penis,
He could barely make it stand,
Make it stand.
So we gave him the Vegetable Compound,
Now he comes in either hand,
In either hand

Now Miss had a very small bosom,
They scarcely showed beneath her blouse,
Beneath her blouse.
So we gave her the Vegetable Compound,
And now they milk her with the cows,
With the cows.

Now, Mr. had very small testes,
They looked lik e a couple of peas,
Couple of peas.
So we gave him the Vegetable Compound,
Now they hang below his knees,
Below his knees.

***


The Hairs of Her Dickie-Dido

Chorus:
And the hairs, and the hairs,
And the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

Verses:
One white one, one black one, and one with a bit of shite on
and one with a little light on to show us the way.

She married an Italian with balls like a bloody stallion
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

It'd take a brontosaurus to eat her clitoris
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

It'd take a Welsh miner to find her vagina
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

It'd take a bloody wrecker to extract your pecker
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

She came up from Florida with a cunt like a bloody corridor
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

If she were my daughter, I'd have her cut shorter
a half inch below the waist is enough for anyone.

I flicked it, I licked it, I even drop kicked it
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.

I fucked her, I sucked her, I even loose rucked her
as the hairs of her dickie-dido hung down to her knees.


My God How The Money Rolls In
Sung to the tune of "Bring Back My Bonnie"

CHORUS:Rolls in, rolls in,
My God how the money rolls in, rolls in,
Rolls in, rolls in,
My God how the money rolls in.

My father makes book on the corner,
My mother makes illicit gin,
My sister sells kisses to sailors,
My God how the money rolls in.

My cousin's a Harley Street surgeon,
With instruments long, sharp, and thin,
He only does one operation,
My God how the money rolls in.

My aunt keeps a girl's seminary,
Teaching young girls to begin,
She doesn't ask where they finish,
My God how the money rolls in.

Uncle Joe is a registered plumber,
His business is in holes and in tin,
He'll plug your hole for a tanner,
My God how the money rolls in.

My sister's a barmaid in Sydney,
For a shilling she strips to the skin,
She's stripping from noon to midnight,
My God how the money rolls in.

My brother's a poor missionary,
He saves fallen women from sin,
He'll save you a blonde for a guinea,
My God how the money rolls in.

My mother's a bawdy house keeper,
Every night when the evening grows dim,
She hangs out a little red lantern,
My God how the money rolls in.

My grandad sells cheap prophylactics,
And punctures them all with a pin,
For grandma gets rich from abortions,
My God How the money rolls in.

My uncle is carving out candles,
From wax that is surgically soft,
He hopes it'll fill up the gap,
If ever his business wears off.

I've lost all me cash on the horses,
I'm sick from the illicit gin,
I'm falling in love with my father,
My God what a mess I'm in.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Dates might help on some of these.

 

[oggbashan]

I used to Work in Chicago

CHORUS:I used to work in Chicago
In an old department store.
I used to work in Chicago
I did but I don't any more.

A woman came in and asked for a dress,
I asked her what dress she adored,
A jumper she said so jump her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a card,
I asked her what card she adored,
A poker she said so poke her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a dog.
I asked her what dog she adored,
A cocker she said so cock her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for some shoes
I asked her what shoes she adored,
A slipper she said so slip her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a cake,
I asked her what cake she adored,
A layer she said so lay her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a ball,
I asked her what ball she adored,
A rubber she said so rub her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for some booze
I asked her what booze she adored,
Liquor she said so lick her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for hardware,
I asked her what hardware she adored,
A screw she said so screw her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a girdle,
I asked her what girdle she adored,
"Rubber!" she said, and rub her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a pet,
I asked her what pet she adored,
"A pussy!" she said, I took the hint,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a hat,
I asked her what hat she adored,
"Felt!" she said, so felt her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a ticket,
I asked her what ticket she adored,
"Bangor!" she said, so bang her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

A woman came in and asked for a dairy,
I asked her what dairy she adored,
"Cream!" she said, so cream her I did,
I don't work there anymore.

 

[oggbashan]

Dates might help on some of these.

Max Miller 1930s-50s

Flotsam and Jetsam 1930s-1950s.

Others - current Rugby Songs.

 

[oggbashan]

The Lady Of The Manor
To the tune of "Ghostriders in the Sky"

The Lady of the Manor was dressing for the Ball,
When She saw the Village cripple tossing off up against the wall.

Chorus:

With His rare old kidney wiper and his balls the size of three
and a yard and a half of foreskin
hanging down below his knee.

So She wrote to him a letter, a letter she did write,
saying "I'd rather be had by you sir than my husband any night"
With your rare old kidney wiper and your balls the size of three
and a yard and a half of foreskin
hanging down below his knee.

So he mounted his white charger, the finest in the land
and he rode up to the manor with his penis in his hand

Chorus

Now he rode up to the manor, he rode up to the hall,
when "God blimey" cried the Butler he's come to fuck us all

Chorus

Well he fucked them in the bedrooms and he fucked them in the hall,
and he even fucked the pictures that were hanging up against the wall

Chorus

Now some say he went to heaven, some say he went to hell,
some say he fucked the devil and the devils wife as well

Chorus

Yipeeeeiyyyaaaaa yipeeeeiyyyooooo
foreskins in the sky.

 

[Lorilei]

Dates might help on some of these.

No idea on mine, sorry! I learned it at RenFest.

 

[oggbashan]

The Rugby Songs are "traditional".

Many have been sung since the 1920s and 30s, but some have had the lyrics updated. Different Rugby Clubs have their own versions, and sometimes completely new lyrics to traditional songs.

 

[oggbashan]

From Wikipedia:

The U.S. American folk (or drinking) song on which Lily the Pink was based is generally known as "Lydia Pinkham" or "The Ballad of Lydia Pinkham". It has the Roud number 8368. The song was inspired by Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, a well-known herbal-alcoholic patent medicine for women. Supposed to relieve menstrual and menopausal pains, the compound was mass-marketed in the United States from 1876 onwards.

The song was certainly in existence by the time of the First World War. F. W. Harvey records it being sung in officers' prisoner-of-war camps in Germany, and ascribes it to Canadian prisoners. According to Harvey, the words of the first verse ran:

Have you heard of Lydia Pinkum,
And her love for the human race?
How she sells (she sells, she sells) her wonderful compound,
And the papers publish her face?

In many versions, the complaints which the compound had cured were highly ribald in nature. During the Prohibition era (1920–33) in the United States, the medicine (like other similar patent medicines) had a particular appeal as a readily available 40-proof alcoholic drink, and it is likely that this aided the popularity of the song. A version of the song was the unofficial regimental song of the Royal Tank Corps during World War II.

 

[ryan8558]

The Swallows - It Ain't The Meat It's The Motion - 1951

It ain't the meat, it's the motion
Makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain't the meat, it's the motion
It's the movement that gives it the sock

Now I had a girl so doggone thin
No meat, no bones, she was just all skin
One thing about her I can understand
She wraps all around me like a rubber band

It ain't the meat, it's the motion
Makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain't the meat, it's the motion
It's the movement that gives it the sock

It ain't the meat, it's the motion
Makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain't the meat, it's the motion
It's the movement that gives it the sock

You find some girls who are big and fat
Some fellows don't like to see them like that
But I like to see 'em big and tall
The bigger they come, the harder they fall

It ain't the meat, it's the motion
Makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain't the meat, it's the motion
It's the movement that gives it the sock

It ain't the meat, it's the motion
It ain't the meat, it's the movement
It ain't the meat, it's the action
That makes your daddy wanna rock all night

I got a little girl who lives down the street
It ain't much of her but she's mighty sweet
When she starts rockin', she don't wanna stop
It makes a man wanna blow his top

It ain't the meat, it's the motion
Makes your daddy wanna rock
It ain't the meat, it's the motion
It's the movement that gives it the sock

 

[Aglaopheme]

1965 Jackie Wilson and LaVern Baker.



I said, you better think twice, Jackie (think)
Before you call me a dirty whore
I've got news for you little boy
Don't fuck wit me no mo'

So, you better be nice
You better take my advice
Oh, you dirty bastard, think twice
Ooh, a-think twice

Girl
Now, wait a minute for me bitch (cheater)
Yeah, I had just about enough of yo shit
I wanna take it, e-e-eazy, yeah
You dirty son-of-a-bitch
I'm gonna walk on out the do', yeah



I'm gonna walk on out the do', yeah
Ain't gonna kiss yo ass no mo'
Bye, bye, ho'
Fuck her, road ho'
A-ho-ho-whore

Now, listen to me, honey
I give you all reefers, all the cocaine
And you still fuckin' up, you understand that?

Jackie (spoken):
Ya always wuppin' up yo' dress down
Like, look Jackie
That's alright, just lick it
You know how to do that don't ya?

I don't want no mo' of yo' reefer
You know how to eat ice cream?
Hide yo' pussy
You eat ice cream?
Never, no, not that kind
Chocolate, chocolate, just lick it
Alright, alright yeah
The road ho', yeah

Listen to me, Jackie, (Yeah!)
Befo' you jump up with yo' fleas
I've got news for you little boy
Jackie: What's that?
There ain't another, a-cunt like me
So, you better be nice
Jackie: High ridin' ho
And keep your funky lice
Ooh, baby think twice
Yes, you dirty bastard
A-baby think twice
Ooh, honey

I heard Max sorry whore, say
LaVern: What'd he say?
'LaVerne is a dirty, bitch black whale'
She changed my hair it's turnin gray

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

“Shave ‘Em Dry,”
Lucille Bogan, 1935

I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come,
Oh daddy, baby won’t you shave ‘em dry?

Aside: Now, draw it out!

Want you to grind me baby, grind me until I cry.

(Roland: Uh, huh.)

Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby,
And I feel just like I wanna, fuck some more,
Oh great God daddy,

(Roland: Say you gonna get it. You need it.)

Grind me honey and shave me dry,
And when you hear me holler baby, want you to shave it dry.
I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
Daddy you say that’s the kind of ‘em you want, and you can make ‘em come,
Oh, daddy shave me dry,

(Roland: She ain’t gonna work for it.)

And I’ll give you somethin’ baby, swear it’ll make you cry.
I’m gon’ turn back my mattress, and let you oil my springs,
I want you to grind me daddy, ‘til the bell do ring,
Oh daddy, want you to shave ‘em dry,
Oh great God daddy, if you can’t shave ‘em baby won’t you try?

Now if fuckin’ was the thing, that would take me to heaven,
I’d be fuckin’ in the studio, till the clock strike eleven,
Oh daddy, daddy shave ‘em dry,

I would fuck you baby, honey I’d make you cry.
Now your nuts hang down like a damn bell sapper,
And your dick stands up like a steeple,
Your goddam ass-hole stands open like a church door,
And the crabs walks in like people.

Aside: Ow, shit!

(Roland: Aah, sure enough, shave ‘em dry?)

Aside: Ooh! Baby, won’t you shave ‘em dry

A big sow gets fat from eatin’ corn,
And a pig gets fat from suckin’,
Reason you see this whore, fat like I am,
Great God, I got fat from fuckin’.

Aside: Eeeeh! Shave ‘em dry

(Roland: Aah, shake it, don’t break it)

My back is made of whalebone,
And my cock is made of brass,
And my fuckin’ is made for workin’ men’s two dollars,
Great God, round to kiss my ass.

Aside: Oh! Whoo, daddy, shave ‘em dry​

 

[Hypoxia]

The Masturbation Song (tune: Funicula, Funicula)

Male Version

Last night, I stayed at home and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would
Last night, I stayed at home and masturbated
It felt so nice, I did it twice
Oh, you should have seen me on the short stroke
It felt so grand, I used my hand
Oh, you should have seen me on the long stroke
It felt so neat, I used my feet

Smash it, Bash it, Slam it on the floor
Wrap it 'round the bed post, cram it in the door
Now there are some who say
That sexual intercourse is great
But for maximum satisfaction
I prefer to masturbate, hey!

Female Version

Last night, I stayed awake and masturbated,
With many a groan, I was alone.
Last night, I stayed awake and masturbated,
With a stick of rattan, who needs a man?
Oh, you should have seen me on the upstroke,
Rattan is great, it beats a mate.
Ah, you should have seen me on the downstroke,
Who needs a lord, I've got a sword!...TWO...THREE...FOUR

Hump it, pump it, do it on the floor,
Do it with the bedpost, do it more and more,
Rattan is grand, rattan is grand,
Rattan is grand, rattan is grand,
Rattan's so very grand it's so much better than a man! Hey!

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Do copyright and Fair Use apply to progressives when they conduct a lyric orgy?

Fair Use.

Nothing be posted here for profit of the poster. Just for discussion. Might even generate some sales for the rights holders.

 

[oggbashan]

Do copyright and Fair Use apply to progressives when they conduct a lyric orgy?

Mine are all public domain...

 

[ryan8558]

“Shave ‘Em Dry,”
Lucille Bogan, 1935

I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
I got somethin’ between my legs’ll make a dead man come,
Oh daddy, baby won’t you shave ‘em dry?

Aside: Now, draw it out!

Want you to grind me baby, grind me until I cry.

(Roland: Uh, huh.)

Say I fucked all night, and all the night before baby,
And I feel just like I wanna, fuck some more,
Oh great God daddy,

(Roland: Say you gonna get it. You need it.)

Grind me honey and shave me dry,
And when you hear me holler baby, want you to shave it dry.
I got nipples on my titties, big as the end of my thumb,
Daddy you say that’s the kind of ‘em you want, and you can make ‘em come,
Oh, daddy shave me dry,

(Roland: She ain’t gonna work for it.)

And I’ll give you somethin’ baby, swear it’ll make you cry.
I’m gon’ turn back my mattress, and let you oil my springs,
I want you to grind me daddy, ‘til the bell do ring,
Oh daddy, want you to shave ‘em dry,
Oh great God daddy, if you can’t shave ‘em baby won’t you try?

Now if fuckin’ was the thing, that would take me to heaven,
I’d be fuckin’ in the studio, till the clock strike eleven,
Oh daddy, daddy shave ‘em dry,

I would fuck you baby, honey I’d make you cry.
Now your nuts hang down like a damn bell sapper,
And your dick stands up like a steeple,
Your goddam ass-hole stands open like a church door,
And the crabs walks in like people.

Aside: Ow, shit!

(Roland: Aah, sure enough, shave ‘em dry?)

Aside: Ooh! Baby, won’t you shave ‘em dry

A big sow gets fat from eatin’ corn,
And a pig gets fat from suckin’,
Reason you see this whore, fat like I am,
Great God, I got fat from fuckin’.

Aside: Eeeeh! Shave ‘em dry

(Roland: Aah, shake it, don’t break it)

My back is made of whalebone,
And my cock is made of brass,
And my fuckin’ is made for workin’ men’s two dollars,
Great God, round to kiss my ass.

Aside: Oh! Whoo, daddy, shave ‘em dry​

Here she is

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ko2VXpW7_g

 

[Oh_That_Guy]

Bawdy songs have been around forever and personally if I had to listen to one I'd prefer to really old ones. Stuff from around the time Lancelot was banging Guinevere. Something about those seems better to me. Less about the words themselves than what they imply.

 

[lovecraft68]

It's okay - you don't really have to overtly admit you don't quite understand Fair Use.

And you don't have to admit that you're