sexless marriage

[thesweetsweetness]

He has heart failure, diagnosed 2 years ago and is genetic (got gene tested and his mum has the gene). As it is affects the blood circulation it stops him from getting an erection.

I am so sorry to hear this. (((Hugs))) I hope you can find a way to talk to him about meeting your needs and finding alternate ways to be intimate.

Exactly two years ago my husband was in the hospital with congestive heart failure with a slew of other issues. Scariest damn time of my life. My hubby has slowly been recovering ever since. Is there anything that can be done to help your husband, too?

 

[renard_ruse]

I'm sure if you look in the playground forum you'll find other posters in your situation. Sorry to hear about your husband's illness.

Just an aside, but I bet if a man was posting that his wife was no longer putting out on a regular basis, the responses would be far from sympathetic to his plight. He would be attacked and vilified for his unrealistic expectations and even sexism just for wanting to have sexual relations on a regular basis.

Not to derail the tread though, just an observation. Carry on.

 

[Debbie]

He has heart failure, diagnosed 2 years ago and is genetic (got gene tested and his mum has the gene). As it is affects the blood circulation it stops him from getting an erection.

There are things that can help if he wants too. Like diet and natural remedies but his dr needs to be on the same page and advise you what is safe and what isn't.

Sometimes men who are not the most communicative (love you gb menfolk but sometimes it's true) and when it comes to their sex drive it can be a very sensitive subject.

If he is open to it there are lots of things you can do to help. Like get dressed up for him and do some erotic dancing (I went to belly dancing classes and loved it) watch a dirty movie together and give him a wonderful massage. Then ask him to help pleasure you without doing anything too strenuous. So many different things so you can both feel loving and have some intimacy.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Just an aside, but I bet if a man was posting that his wife was no longer putting out on a regular basis, the responses would be far from sympathetic to his plight. He would be attacked and vilified for his unrealistic expectations and even sexism just for wanting to have sexual relations on a regular basis.

Not to derail the tread though, just an observation. Carry on.

It would depend on how he comes across. It sure would suck if a man only saw his wife as a means to an end for his orgasms as opposed to a human being deserving all respect due.

 

[I_jerk_off_alot]

Scotgal, PM me. I have ideas you may find useful if you'd care to hear them.

 

[girlsmiley]

Scotgal, PM me. I have ideas you may find useful if you'd care to hear them.

Uh huh.

You can't just post them here?

 

[warrior queen]

So the whole "Sorry to be so blunt, but the whole 'honour until death do you part' thing includes doing everything possible to make the marriage work, in health and in sickness, BOTH people" doesn't really apply to you?

I left him a year and a half AFTER I first found out about his affair.
Now, you can stop being a dick.
Or not.

 

[warrior queen]

Just an aside, but I bet if a man was posting that his wife was no longer putting out on a regular basis, the responses would be far from sympathetic to his plight. He would be attacked and vilified for his unrealistic expectations and even sexism just for wanting to have sexual relations on a regular basis.

Not to derail the tread though, just an observation. Carry on.

Some might......but my original reply applies to both. People need to do all they can to fulfill their partners needs within the marriage - physical AND emotional.
Too many don't.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

I left him a year and a half AFTER I first found out about his affair.
Now, you can stop being a dick.
Or not.

How many affairs did you have while he was off catching fish?

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Some might......but my original reply applies to both. People need to do all they can to fulfill their partners needs within the marriage - physical AND emotional.
Too many don't.

What physical and emotional needs did you fail to provide for your ex to make him seek it somewhere else?

 

[warrior queen]

How many affairs did you have while he was off catching fish?

Let me count....

931.

 

[Debbie]

Just an aside, but I bet if a man was posting that his wife was no longer putting out on a regular basis, the responses would be far from sympathetic to his plight. He would be attacked and vilified for his unrealistic expectations and even sexism just for wanting to have sexual relations on a regular basis.

Not to derail the tread though, just an observation. Carry on.

That does happen sometimes I agree but I think it also depends how the op posts. As in posting seeking advice or making it plain they are wanting the gb ladies to give him some pity and a warm bosom to snuffle into

 

[Saint Peter]

Just fuck somebody else. That will solve all your problems.

Spoken like a truly Great American.

 

[I_jerk_off_alot]

Uh huh.

You can't just post them here?

Actually I could, in a more general sense, but I figured she might feel more comfortable talking in a more open fashion through PM or email.

My suggestion would be to see if her husband would be interested in making some intimate porn of the two of them for her to use when he is not feeling up to performing.

This way she isn't cheating and it's him she is getting off too.

 

[lovetoread]

Work arounds are great but there are only 2 choices be you male or female.

Either you stick it out with the person is is too sick to have sex or you divorce them.

Masturbation is not cheating.

Hooking up with others to get off is.

 

[Saint Peter]

Work arounds are great but there are only 2 choices be you male or female.

Either you stick it out with the person is is too sick to have sex or you divorce them.

Masturbation is not cheating.

Hooking up with others to get off is.

You can use my sock anytime.

 

[Queersetti]

What's he sick of?

If he's anything like the rest of us, your shit.

 

[Queersetti]

He has heart failure, diagnosed 2 years ago and is genetic (got gene tested and his mum has the gene). As it is affects the blood circulation it stops him from getting an erection.

I would question whether his dysfunction is due to his condition itself, or is a side effect of his medication.

If you haven't discussed this with his doctor, you should. It might be that adjusting his dosages or substituting a similar medication without the side effect may help.

 

[Queersetti]

Scotgal, PM me. I have ideas you may find useful if you'd care to hear them.

Dude, why not just go troll the waiting room at your local cardiac unit?

 

[Saint Peter]

"Dr. Sock will see you now."

 

[Queersetti]

Just an aside, but I bet if a man was posting that his wife was no longer putting out on a regular basis, the responses would be far from sympathetic to his plight. He would be attacked and vilified for his unrealistic expectations and even sexism just for wanting to have sexual relations on a regular basis.

Not to derail the tread though, just an observation. Carry on.

You have a point, because we definitely sympathize with your wife.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[malefica]

Penis pump or a strap-on for him to use on you?

 

[I_jerk_off_alot]

Dude, why not just go troll the waiting room at your local cardiac unit?

I was going to but you were already there being a dick to everyone. Did you immediately post your response before you saw my follow up post explaining my ideas for her?

Damn, have a little faith in humanity. Not everyone is out to be an ass like you.

 

[thesweetsweetness]

Alrighty, I actually have a bunch of ideas ranging simple and non sexual to very sexual. These first ones aren't going to get you off, obviously, but they might help you stay connected. You can send him a text whenever you see his favorite car, hear his favorite song, what ever it is that his into to let him know your thinking of him. You can shower together, sleep naked together, or even give each other back massages- clothed or naked. Learn what both of your love languages are, it will give you both ideas on how to show the other you still care.

If his illness prevents him from getting hard, does that mean he wouldn't still enjoy being fondled or sucked? I'm assuming it would still feel good, even if he doesn't climax or even get hard? I don't know. You could discuss that you're both in it for the journey, not the destination, so if he doesn't even come close to orgasm, that it's okay. Maybe he would be willing to use his hands and mouth on you, maybe even toys. He might enjoy watching you use toys on yourself.

The possibilities can go even farther if you both considered bringing someone else into the bedroom with you. It could still include hubby. With another girl, you both could give him a total body massage. With another guy your husband could assume the role of puppet master and direct his actions.

The key to any of this is communication. Discussing this might not be easy, but there are ways to help there, too. You could do email, but I was thinking you could write each other notes. Pick up a nice notebook that you can share your desires in. Write what you want for him and you, maybe at first explaining you miss being close, and in time becoming more descriptive and explicit. You could pass the journal back and forth to each other under your pillows when you had something to share. He might surprise you and end up writing some erotica for you. Maybe reliving highlights from your past together. Seeing how he remembers things will be different from your perspective, and hopefully very hot.

I hope some of this helps or at least inspires some other thoughts that could help. ((Hugs))