Need a women's advice . i'm never disrespectful

[shone2527]

I've been very loyal after 10 years. Never cheated ever. After 5 years ,sex stops. Mister menopause steps in!! Nothing ever since. I respect all women! I can't touch her , or anything. I tell her how beautiful she looks most of the time. I really am starting to feel lest as a man!! Please believe me , I Always have taken a women's pleasure first 100 % . I have my needs and ask , she doesn't want any of that anymore!!! I need a lady's advice please. No affection ever.

 

[navycolt]

I've been very loyal after 10 years. Never cheated ever. After 5 years ,sex stops. Mister menopause steps in!! Nothing ever since. I respect all women! I can't touch her , or anything. I tell her how beautiful she looks most of the time. I really am starting to feel lest as a man!! Please believe me , I Always have taken a women's pleasure first 100 % . I have my needs and ask , she doesn't want any of that anymore!!! I need a lady's advice please. No affection ever.

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[Penuche]

I've been very loyal after 10 years. Never cheated ever. After 5 years ,sex stops. Mister menopause steps in!! <snip> I need a lady's advice please. No affection ever.

It takes two to make a relationship work - ask her to go to couples counselling or similar with you?

 

[shone2527]

Thank You very much!

 

[shone2527]

I have . she wants nothing to do with it. Thank you for the reply

 

[Penuche]

I have . she wants nothing to do with it. Thank you for the reply

Has she said why?

Apart from the lack of affection (which is probably a bigger deal for a lot of people than a lack of sex), is there anything else which went wrong around the time that this started?

 

[malefica]

Could be;
- stress
- feeling unattractive
- hormones (or fluctuations therein)
- change in sex drive

Have you actually sat her down for an honest, open and frank conversation on this matter instead of just addressing the sex side? Have you considered that maybe discussing it is something that she needs to become comfortable with?

 

[Iceprincess12]

I've been very loyal after 10 years. Never cheated ever. After 5 years ,sex stops. Mister menopause steps in!! Nothing ever since. I respect all women! I can't touch her , or anything. I tell her how beautiful she looks most of the time. I really am starting to feel lest as a man!! Please believe me , I Always have taken a women's pleasure first 100 % . I have my needs and ask , she doesn't want any of that anymore!!! I need a lady's advice please. No affection ever.

Good thing you decided to post after being a lurker! You have plenty of options.
~divorce her, she won't put out, tell her to get out
~i'm sure you only lurked for the stories...find a woman to play with
~have an affair
~get a dog for affection, use your hand for sex. Those are 2 separate things.
~flirt but don't cheat to make yourself feel desireable
~go to a counselor without your wife. It's a lame excuse to not go just because she won't.

Do you ask strangers on the street what to do about your wife? The people here know her just as well. Ask her friends, ask your pastor, ask her family, ask your doctor. If you don't have the courage to get help from people that know her, regardless of the shame or embarrasment, then your pride is more important. If that's the case then go with your current option

~keep lurking on an erotic literature site doing whatever you do, instead of spending time with your wife.

As a sidenote, you don't get to decide what cheating is, your wife does. Ask her if it's ok for you to be here. If she doesn't care, then have fun. If she does care...then stop telling yourself you are not cheating.

Good luck!

 

[submit4pleasure]

As a sidenote, you don't get to decide what cheating is, your wife does. Ask her if it's ok for you to be here. If she doesn't care, then have fun. If she does care...then stop telling yourself you are not cheating.

Iceprincess, you hit the nail on the head!

 

[suckonsimon]

Pal, I know you asked the women but ...

Seems to me you've left this to settle into being a sexless relationship for so long, it's probably too long now for that to change. All things are possible I guess, but only if you both wanted to begin again with romance and affection and then intercourse.

But if she is consistently saying no to that ... who has cheated who here?

In my book the most cruel cheat of all, is cheating another person out of their opportunity to find sexual fulfillment. Unless there is some reason for it - medical, relational, psychological, then ... why are you hanging around and putting up with this?

 

[RedSilk69]

Ice Princess was harsh, but right

A sexless marriage is terrible - many of us can attest to that. It isn't easy at all, and her sex drive changing isn't "cheating" despite what some say. It simply sucks. I was young and dumb enough when I married my now-ex to think it would change; divorce was the best option, because that's just the way he was.

However, this isn't the way she was; this is relatively new. Could it be medical?

Good luck. A life you've built together shouldn't be tossed out the window, and it sounds like you're up for working on this.

 

[beingtrue2me]

OP: You say you've been like this for the last 5 years right? You want another 5 years of this? Are you happy in other parts of your life or miserable there also? I ask not out of rudeness but maybe there are other factors at work here. Are you (or your wife) dealing with depression? There are a number of reasons we stop wanting sex. I think you should talk to a professional and soon. Wanna know something else? You may wind up single. You love her. I guess. Is it worth being miserable? Wanna know something else? We out number you. That puts the odds in your favor. One more thing. I disappear from this place when I am seeing someone. I do it out of respect and also because when I am dating someone they give me the attention I need so I don't seek it here. You should do the same. Do some real soul searching and decide what YOU want out of life. Then go get it. It won't be easy and seldom is the first place you look but happiness can be found if you really look for it. Good luck.

 

[malefica]

P.S 'In sickness and in health' is part of the (traditional) vows one takes upon marriage. Pretty sure that going through menopause counts there.