Fractured Christmas Tales

[Five_Inch_Heels]

If you don't remember Fractured Fairy Tales that was a part of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, you missed some of the great TV comedy of the era. Killer funny stuff. So, on that pretense, let's have some of the literary wizards here create some Fractured Christmas Tales. Or whatever Holiday you celebrate this time of year.

Take your favorite Christmas Carol or story or other Holiday tale or fable and twist the crap out of it Literotica style. Make it as comical or perverse as you'd like keeping Lit Rules in mind.

Quick sample here: http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=73184764&postcount=67

 

[allateup]

If you don't remember Fractured Fairy Tales that was a part of the Rocky and Bullwinkle Show, you missed some of the great TV comedy of the era. Killer funny stuff. So, on that pretense, let's have some of the literary wizards here create some Fractured Christmas Tales. Or whatever Holiday you celebrate this time of year.

Take your favorite Christmas Carol or story or other Holiday tale or fable and twist the crap out of it Literotica style. Make it as comical or perverse as you'd like keeping Lit Rules in mind.

Quick sample here: http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=73184764&postcount=67

Have you considered taking your junior high act to the Playground, yet?

 

[Queersetti]

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
The Rabinowitz family ate supper, watched a little TV and went to bed.

The End

 

[Queersetti]

Have you considered taking your junior high act to the Playground, yet?

Have you considered taking your Playground act to junior high?

Oh, yeah, I guess you have.

 

[allateup]

Have you considered taking your Playground act to junior high?

Oh, yeah, I guess you have.

I'd offer that that is beneath you...

...but, living on your knees for quarters in Greyhound bus stations all over the world makes that sorta of impossible, eh?

 

[Queersetti]

I'd offer that that is beneath you...

...but, living on your knees for quarters in Greyhound bus stations all over the world makes that sorta of impossible, eh?

Does that bus station story end with me finding out that the guy I was blowing isn't really a homeless wino, but Santa Claus?

That would be kind of sweet.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I'd offer that that is beneath you...

...but, living on your knees for quarters in Greyhound bus stations all over the world makes that sorta of impossible, eh?

That sounds awfully specific there, Flameout.

Reckon you have inside experience of how that works, eh? Is that how you made your way across America to ultimately live in the desert boonies?

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxpj6grFIe1qcaomb.gif

 

[Fata Morgana]

Does that bus station story end with me finding out that the guy I was blowing isn't really a homeless wino, but Santa Claus?

That would be kind of sweet.

God bless us, everyone!

 

[BabblingBrooke]

Does that bus station story end with me finding out that the guy I was blowing isn't really a homeless wino, but Santa Claus?

That would be kind of sweet.

Santa Claus' cum would probably taste very sweet, you think? All those cookies and hot chocolate...

 

[juttjaw]

Santa Claus' cum would probably taste very sweet, you think? All those cookies and hot chocolate...

I'd think it would probably taste like type 2 diabetes...

Is that sweet??

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

^^ He's gotta eat the Gingerbread men too since the Elves are keeping the Mrs. busy.

 

[allateup]

Does that bus station story end with me finding out that the guy I was blowing isn't really a homeless wino, but Santa Claus?

That would be kind of sweet.

Of course it would...

...but unicorn sniffers rarely fare so well.

The story actually ends not with you merrily wishing all a goodnight...

...but with all demanding from you a full refund.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

I'd think it would probably taste like type 2 diabetes...

Is that sweet??

But probably not because magic.

 

[Queersetti]

Santa Claus' cum would probably taste very sweet, you think? All those cookies and hot chocolate...

It's pepperminty!

 

[juttjaw]

^^ He's gotta eat the Gingerbread men too since the Elves are keeping the Mrs. busy.

That's just perverse..

 

[juttjaw]

But probably not because magic.

I've heard magic spooge tastes like pennies. .. .

just what I heard.

 

[Queersetti]

Of course it would...

...but unicorn sniffers rarely fare so well.

The story actually ends not with you merrily wishing all a goodnight...

...but with all demanding from you a full refund.

Too late! I put all the quarters in the Salvation Army kettle, so the joke's on them!

 

[allateup]

Too late! I put all the quarters in the Salvation Army kettle, so the joke's on them!

So you leave Tiny still shriveling and starving...

...tsk, tsk, tsk.

 

[Queersetti]

So you leave Tiny still shriveling and starving...

...tsk, tsk, tsk.

It's a little early to be so deep into the eggnog, fella.

 

[BabblingBrooke]

It's pepperminty!

That sounds refreshing! I may want to make a facial mask out of that!

I've heard magic spooge tastes like pennies. .. .

just what I heard.

That's clearly hearsay, then.

 

[allateup]

It's a little early to be so deep into the eggnog, fella.

"deep" is relative, isn't it, Tim?

 

[anchoredinocean]

I'd offer that that is beneath you...

...but, living on your knees for quarters in Greyhound bus stations all over the world makes that sorta of impossible, eh?

Ooooooooh! I think this would make a great story for Moz! May even get second to last with it.

 

[juttjaw]

That's clearly hearsay, then.

Well, it did come from a reliable source.

 

[M. Jordan]

Does that bus station story end with me finding out that the guy I was blowing isn't really a homeless wino, but Santa Claus?

That would be kind of sweet.

Good god, I can always count on you to give me good laugh! Miracle in the ally I suppose.

 

[Queersetti]

Good god, I can always count on you to give me good laugh! Miracle in the ally I suppose.

Here Cums Santa Claus.