Do you feel guilty about reading pornography and/or writing pornography or erotica?

[Carnevil9]

I don't feel guilty about reading or writing erotica or watching porn. If I did, I'd stop doing it.

And I don't wonder what other people do behind closed doors. I just assume it is more depraved than I could possibly imagine. We all have secrets, that's what makes the world go round. And most of them will never tell me and I will never ask, because it is none of my damned business.

That's why all of this "gay pride" jazz baffles me. I don't CARE or WANT TO KNOW what you do in your bedroom. I have perversions too. I just don't march down Main Street bragging about them!

 

[JKendallDane]

There was a point I was in what would be called an "extreme discreet mode" and overly cautious about who I confessed to about my writing habits and genre. It wasn't so much about feeling any guilt, but more so about friends and family not being at all familiar with literary erotica. I wasn't interested in hearing judgemental bullshit from people that had two and three hundred Harlequin book collections, and the only real difference between what they were reading on-the-sly and what I was writing was the extra level of graphic descriptions. What I was authoring was the same stuff they were having to force their minds to generate.

When I first started coming out of that closet, I used the phrase "I write gay Harlequins with a little extra 'oomph' in the stories." I usually tacked a smile and wink on at the end also. If they asked for details, most people would get them from me. Over the last year or so, I've stopped worrying about what other people might think and readily admit I primarily write gay romances. If that causes them to freak out, oh well. They shouldn't ask questions they may not want to hear the answer to.

At this point, I am about as open as I can be short of wearing a sandwich board around. I have an author Facebook page but it is also linked on my personal FB page and I will often cross-post the same information (including hot links to Lit) on new releases to both. I have business cards and have no "guilt issues" handing them out. There is even a small stack of them in the social hall at church and my pastor is an avid supporter of my work.

So, do I feel any guilt? Nope! If anything, I now take extreme pride in what I am creating and refuse to hide it.

.

 

[SusanJillParker]

There was a point I was in what would be called an "extreme discreet mode" and overly cautious about who I confessed to about my writing habits and genre. It wasn't so much about feeling any guilt, but more so about friends and family not being at all familiar with literary erotica. I wasn't interested in hearing judgemental bullshit from people that had two and three hundred Harlequin book collections, and the only real difference between what they were reading on-the-sly and what I was writing was the extra level of graphic descriptions. What I was authoring was the same stuff they were having to force their minds to generate.

When I first started coming out of that closet, I used the phrase "I write gay Harlequins with a little extra 'oomph' in the stories." I usually tacked a smile and wink on at the end also. If they asked for details, most people would get them from me. Over the last year or so, I've stopped worrying about what other people might think and readily admit I primarily write gay romances. If that causes them to freak out, oh well. They shouldn't ask questions they may not want to hear the answer to.

At this point, I am about as open as I can be short of wearing a sandwich board around. I have an author Facebook page but it is also linked on my personal FB page and I will often cross-post the same information (including hot links to Lit) on new releases to both. I have business cards and have no "guilt issues" handing them out. There is even a small stack of them in the social hall at church and my pastor is an avid supporter of my work.

So, do I feel any guilt? Nope! If anything, I now take extreme pride in what I am creating and refuse to hide it.

.

"Bravo!"

The loud noise you hear in the background is me clapping.

 

[ncseeker]

Reading pornography? No

Looking at nude photos? No

Watching X-rated videos? Depends. True amateur footage is pretty guilt-free, although even then I sometimes wonder if it was a leaked revenge clip from a bitter ex.

Of course, the professional porn stars are in an industry known for taking advantage of them in many ways, and that thought does cross my mind at times. Honestly though, it doesn't bother me enough to not ultimately watch

Writing pornography or erotica? I don't know if I feel guilt over writing erotica (and it's all erotica to me, not sure what narrative "pornography" is), but I am very hesitant to let others close to me know I've written it.

They say an author reveals themselves through their writing. I agree with that to an extent, or at least enough to be cautious about what I share with others in terms of my erotica.

 

[JKendallDane]

That's why all of this "gay pride" jazz baffles me. I don't CARE or WANT TO KNOW what you do in your bedroom. I have perversions too. I just don't march down Main Street bragging about them!

If you really think "gay pride" is about advertising what we do in our bedrooms, then you have missed the whole basis behind the movement.

Like most every other gay person over the age of twenty, I have spent the biggest chunk of age seventeen to fifty-nine having your straight pride "marched down Main Street" and "being bragged about" in all sorts of manners. Whether it be wedding announcements in the paper, holding hands as you walk on the beach, being a couple that expects to be able to lease a one-bedroom apartment or single bed hotel room without a hassle, sitting on the same side of the booth at a restaurant, draping an arm over their shoulder in a movie theater, taking communion together at church, the innocent peck on the cheek in the driveway, your open and blatant "in-your-face" comments about the gender of your spouse, or something so simple and seemingly innocuous as having a photo of your other half sitting on your desk at the office. "Straight Pride" existed long before Gay pride ever did.

Those examples ^up there^ and an unending myriad of other things straight people have always taken for granted was pretty much denied to us for decades. In many areas they still are. Gay Pride was, is, and always has been about equality. Nothing more, nothing less. What does (or doesn't) go on in our bedrooms never was a factor in the equation.

 

[Desperado1775]

So no guilt here and my wife knows I pen a story here and there, she doesnt know they are on Lit. Nor does she know that some stories are a little more than the stories I wrote while deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. She just never got into them. I was asked to disclose at a business function something that others didnt know about me. I toyed with the idea just to see the expressions on their faces, but decided not too. Maybe one day I will come out of the closet.

 

[handysr]

Writing pornography or erotica? I don't know if I feel guilt over writing erotica (and it's all erotica to me, not sure what narrative "pornography" is), but I am very hesitant to let others close to me know I've written it.

They say an author reveals themselves through their writing. I agree with that to an extent, or at least enough to be cautious about what I share with others in terms of my erotica.

The difference between porn and erotica, if there is one, has been argued to death in other threads. Personally, I think that erotica is the more tame stuff, and porn is graphic descriptions of the sexy. Regardless, I don't feel guilty about reading or watching it, but I spend a lot more time reading than looking at pictures or videos. Until erotica becomes as openly mainstream as the latest Tom Clancy work, I'll probably continue to hide it.

I don't feel guilty about writing it, not really. It's a secret that I wouldn't want to get out though. There are very few people that have an idea that I can write anything longer than an email. There are too many people in "my circle" that would not be a fan of the subject matter.

Well maybe that does sound like I have a guilty conscience about reading or writing it. Anybody can read a story and not have people judge them for it, but writing? I guess maybe I do hide writing like a guilty secret so people won't think they know my inner psyche because of what I've written.

 

[dayne]

I think the difference between porn and erotica comes down to connotation, really. I mean, we can argue that porn is more explicit and erotica focuses more on the romantic connections between the participants. However, the line is between is pretty gray, don't you think?

As for gay pride, I'm with JKendall. Forget the displays, even admitting that I'm bi is fraught. I teach high school, and I'm damn good at my job. However, I'm still afraid that if people knew that I'm bi (or that I'm atheist for that matter), everyone would conveniently forget everything I've done for my school and district. My co-workers' spouses and long-term boy/girlfriends can send in flowers, bring them lunch, volunteer with their students, but I could never acknowledge my boyfriend. My sexuality and religion play no role in my classroom. It may influence my biases, but I try to keep that to a minimum since I am working with other people's children. However, I don't even feel confident that discrimination clauses would protect me from the shitstorm that would ensue if I even admitted that I'm not straight or Christian. THAT is what Gay Pride is about.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I think the difference between porn and erotica comes down to connotation, really. I mean, we can argue that porn is more explicit and erotica focuses more on the romantic connections between the participants. However, the line is between is pretty gray, don't you think?

As for gay pride, I'm with JKendall. Forget the displays, even admitting that I'm bi is fraught. I teach high school, and I'm damn good at my job. However, I'm still afraid that if people knew that I'm bi (or that I'm atheist for that matter), everyone would conveniently forget everything I've done for my school and district. My co-workers' spouses and long-term boy/girlfriends can send in flowers, bring them lunch, volunteer with their students, but I could never acknowledge my boyfriend. My sexuality and religion play no role in my classroom. It may influence my biases, but I try to keep that to a minimum since I am working with other people's children. However, I don't even feel confident that discrimination clauses would protect me from the shitstorm that would ensue if I even admitted that I'm not straight or Christian. THAT is what Gay Pride is about.

I never opposed lesbian foster parents, and never allowed gay guys to be foster parents. Lesbian sexual abuse is rare tho it does happen. The guys, tho, are horn dogs and frequent perps on boys. Youre wise to be discreet, however.

 

[dayne]

I never opposed lesbian foster parents, and never allowed gay guys to be foster parents. Lesbian sexual abuse is rare tho it does happen. The guys, tho, are horn dogs and frequent perps on boys. Youre wise to be discreet, however.

/facepalm
Case in point

 

[GrahamXBryce]

I don't feel guilty, my wife and I usually do a lot of those things together. I have my own pornography, which is my own taste apart from hers which she is also aware of. I'm just a completely open person about it.

Her family knows I am a writer, and that I write under a different name (non-erotica), but I am also open about what I write. I think sexuality should have certain restrictions in public domain, but if expressed without offending someone or causing a riot, it's perfectly acceptable to be brought up anywhere, at any time.

I also like what you said about how your characters are real people to you, as mine are to me--it's a connection, even if it's one that you created with a deeper part of yourself. A part of yourself you may not usually have access to, except through that character. There is no guilt in using something taboo or hush-hush to greater explore yourself, and in turn, indulge others in ways to connect with themselves that they normally wouldn't.

 

[oggbashan]

I write erotica. People read my pornography.

I look at erotic pictures. Anyone else looking at the same pictures sees pornography.

Guilt is a personal concept. I don't feel guilty even if others think I should be ashamed of myself.

 

[SusanJillParker]

I write erotica. People read my pornography.

I look at erotic pictures. Anyone else looking at the same pictures sees pornography.

Guilt is a personal concept. I don't feel guilty even if others think I should be ashamed of myself.

Afraid he'd discover my dark, sexy secret of writing erotica, I used to feel guilty when married to my ex. I even went as far to write under my brother name, Freddie.

Now that my ex is out of my life, I don't care who knows that I write erotica. For me to write stories under my real name, I've come a long way.

 

[Penuche]

Guilt? Not really. I know that it's not exactly high literature, but that doesn't stop me choosing to read it or write it.

Nor does knowing that a beefburger isn't haute cuisine make me feel guilty about eating one, once in a while.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Guilt? Not really. I know that it's not exactly high literature, but that doesn't stop me choosing to read it or write it.

Nor does knowing that a beefburger isn't haute cuisine make me feel guilty about eating one, once in a while.

Beefburger vs erotica. I like the analogy.

"Where's the beef?"

"Read this instead. It's SJP's latest erotic story."

"Wow! This is wicked good. This is way better than eating a beefburger."

 

[AKentuckyLady]

Guilt? Not really. I know that it's not exactly high literature, but that doesn't stop me choosing to read it or write it.

Nor does knowing that a beefburger isn't haute cuisine make me feel guilty about eating one, once in a while.

Definition of Literature:

written material such as poetry, novels, essays, etc, esp works of imagination characterized by excellence of style and expression and by themes of general or enduring interest. 2. the body of written work of a particular culture or people


What would be the difference between high literature and just literature? Critics? We all know what someone else's opinion is subjective and can be loosely based on mental and physical factors. Is it the moral or underlying message? Or the way it makes you feel?

Take for example "The Great Gatsby." It's on the list of one of the most acclaimed novels of the 20th century. On the surface it's a story about thwarted love. Underneath it's a theme of materialism and disintegration of the American dream. But you know what? I can't lose myself into it. I'm too busy looking for all the messaging and deep insight. I'm actually hindered by the fact that it's high literature, it feels like a chore.

Someone recently said to me, "You can't worry about balancing your checkbook while you're enjoying an orgasm."

That, right there, is what it means to me to read and write erotica. There are many non-erotica books I can also lose myself in and get away from the real world, but you don't have the added bonus of an orgasm.

Do I feel guilty for reading and writing erotica? That's a big hell no.

 

[lovecraft68]

Definition of Literature:

written material such as poetry, novels, essays, etc, esp works of imagination characterized by excellence of style and expression and by themes of general or enduring interest. 2. the body of written work of a particular culture or people


What would be the difference between high literature and just literature? Critics? We all know what someone else's opinion is subjective and can be loosely based on mental and physical factors. Is it the moral or underlying message? Or the way it makes you feel?

Take for example "The Great Gatsby." It's on the list of one of the most acclaimed novels of the 20th century. On the surface it's a story about thwarted love. Underneath it's a theme of materialism and disintegration of the American dream. But you know what? I can't lose myself into it. I'm too busy looking for all the messaging and deep insight. I'm actually hindered by the fact that it's high literature, it feels like a chore.

Someone recently said to me, "You can't worry about balancing your checkbook while you're enjoying an orgasm."

That, right there, is what it means to me to read and write erotica. There are many non-erotica books I can also lose myself in and get away from the real world, but you don't have the added bonus of an orgasm.

Do I feel guilty for reading and writing erotica? That's a big hell no.

I never get into 'literary' and what it means.

I write porn. That's what I feel I write most of the time with a few more serious works tossed in here and there.

When someone says they write "literary erotica' is smacks of two things. One is pretentiousness and two is its an ego thing to make themselves seem more than what they are.

Again I write smut, some has depth some doesn't, but its smut. Keep literary for the damn book clubs and check the ego at the door.

My take on that anyway.

 

[Carnal_Flower]

I see the AH Mod is busy censoring posts this morning.

 

[SusanJillParker]

Definition of Literature:

written material such as poetry, novels, essays, etc, esp works of imagination characterized by excellence of style and expression and by themes of general or enduring interest. 2. the body of written work of a particular culture or people


What would be the difference between high literature and just literature? Critics? We all know what someone else's opinion is subjective and can be loosely based on mental and physical factors. Is it the moral or underlying message? Or the way it makes you feel?

Take for example "The Great Gatsby." It's on the list of one of the most acclaimed novels of the 20th century. On the surface it's a story about thwarted love. Underneath it's a theme of materialism and disintegration of the American dream. But you know what? I can't lose myself into it. I'm too busy looking for all the messaging and deep insight. I'm actually hindered by the fact that it's high literature, it feels like a chore.

Someone recently said to me, "You can't worry about balancing your checkbook while you're enjoying an orgasm."

That, right there, is what it means to me to read and write erotica. There are many non-erotica books I can also lose myself in and get away from the real world, but you don't have the added bonus of an orgasm.

Do I feel guilty for reading and writing erotica? That's a big hell no.

Wow! Thank you for this post. You hit home with me.

First of all, I love F. Scott Fitzgerald, especially The Great Gatsby. Right up there with Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea, J. D. Salinger's Catcher in the Rye, and Truman Capote's In Cold Blood, the book is so much better than the movie(s), of course. Fitzgerald was one of the writers that I studied in my screenwriting class. He writes with such rich imagery that it's impossible to bring his work to the big screen.

When I was considering going to Emerson College in Boston for my MFA in creative writing, my professor discouraged me. I wanted to know the secrets behind the stories that the great writers wrote. I wanted to know all that Dr. Robert Parker knew when he wrote his detective crime books that were so rich with dialogue.

Only, my professor told me that unless I wanted to teach, an MFA would be a waste of my time and money. If I only wanted to write, I already had all of the tools and education that I needed to do just that.

Yet, sometimes, when trying to read deeper, I wonder about what all of the symbollism means, especially in a book such as the Great Gatsby or Milan Kundera's The Unbearable Lightness of Being.

 

[IvyWillcox]

Guilty NO. I learned a long time ago different strokes for different folks if it is not for you then move on. I figure erotica is the same thing people are going to read what they relate to or what deviant desire interest them at that moment. We all have fantasies. I write more for myself anyway some twisted idea or fantasy gets into my head then I put it to paper if others enjoy it then great. If not they can shut it off and find what they are looking for.

I don't confuse my secretiveness with guilt. I don't want to deal with the judgment and grief from friends, family and coworkers so I write under a nom de plume. My wife knows about it and has encourage me to self publish some stories.

So discreet yes guilty no after all people are coming here looking for their kink it is not like I am pushing it on them.

 

[MatthewVett]

I don't feel guilty, but at the same time, it's not something I put on my business cards. There are a few real life friends who know about my erotica stories, but not many. I usually don't go out of my way to bring it up, but if they want to read, I'm happy to share.

 

[malefica]

My partner-owner knows that I read erotica, and that I have written and edited it as well. No issues.

 

[GoldenCojones]

Porn porn porn porn

I write porn and I think I write fairly passable porn. I have written one story that I would describe as erotica and I'll post that under a different name. I'm not ashamed at all that I write porn. I am a little ashamed of writing erotica

As for all the rest, I don't care what others do as long as they leave me out of it. I don't tell people because, lets be honest here, I don't like very many people. Those I do like, know. She knows because I told her.

 

[marriedpervs]

Nope. Never have felt guilty about writing / living a porn lifestyle. It's my/our business, and we love it, so that is all that matters. It's a form of release for me from my busy everyday life, so I adore it. I have been a lit member for years now and also posted hundreds of pics all over Voyeurweb and Redclouds for 15 years and just LOVE the interaction, showing off and feedback......

 

[Gorza]

Guilt is an interesting one. I dare say guilt has propelled me through life. I read the macho posts of those who say they don't do guilt. I find them sad. Guilt plays an important role in human psychology. It nags at us when we lose our way, when we stop following our moral compass. We can overdo guilt, letting it gnaw away at us. Those without guilt are either angels or deceiving themselves.

Guilt propelled me to run off and do five years of military service. Twenty years ago most of the men in my section had their porn stash: a pinup, a sticky mag. Looking back, it all seems quite tame. I love the pornography of Pompeii. It seems like every domestic living room had its pornographic centrepiece, as if no home should be without one. The social context of our porn is important. The vast libraries of easily accessible porn do worry me, especially the violent stuff. I've tried not to look at porn, like trying to go veggie, but I admit to enjoying the delights of the flesh (in both senses).

The debate about what is erotica and what pornography is subjective. Sometimes I think there's no distinguishing them, but there is the sense that erotica works more deeply with our fantasies. A porn film might get me hard while I watch it; a hot story on Lit might arouse me while I read it, but it will continue to arouse me when I think of it over the days to come.

What does worry me is whether the sex stories I write are empowering, whether they can help readers become better sexual beings. Lit gets a higher proportion of female readership than most porn sites, yet still a lot of this stuff is disempowering of women's sexuality. As a bloke, one struggle I have is writing my sexual fantasies while also making them enjoyable and empowering for men and women alike.