How descriptive do you like the sex scenes?

davion2308

Motivated
Joined
Dec 24, 2005
Posts
873
I am kicking around a few stories right now and here's where I stand:

I write the intro, I bring characters to life (kinda, I'm no professional) and the story develops, it starts getting good and juicy and .... well.... I get stuck on actual sex.

I feel like it's about driving imagination and letting the reader picture the events without zooming in on every drop of cum with 16 megapixels. But then the scenes seem kind of flat compared to what everyone else writes. But, how many ways can you really describe a blowjob before you just let a reader take control in their mind's eye?

QUESTION 1: How descriptive do you like the sex?

QUESTION 2: Does anyone have good examples of well-written, paced, sex without being over the top?

Thanks for your thoughts.
 
I am kicking around a few stories right now and here's where I stand:

I write the intro, I bring characters to life (kinda, I'm no professional) and the story develops, it starts getting good and juicy and .... well.... I get stuck on actual sex.

I feel like it's about driving imagination and letting the reader picture the events without zooming in on every drop of cum with 16 megapixels. But then the scenes seem kind of flat compared to what everyone else writes. But, how many ways can you really describe a blowjob before you just let a reader take control in their mind's eye?

QUESTION 1: How descriptive do you like the sex?

QUESTION 2: Does anyone have good examples of well-written, paced, sex without being over the top?

Thanks for your thoughts.

To my mind, it should be all in the mind of the reader.
 
I really think it depends on what your goal is.

But I tend to break a sex scene down into 3 parts.

- sensory (what's the character feeling)
- visuals (what does it look like)
- context (talk about the taboo when writing)

So if it's a professor/student story. In between the sex descriptions, I'd talk about the internal struggle the professor is feeling. Maybe of guilt. Maybe of letting go. ect...

If it's an incest story, there's a lot of that kind of emotional struggle there too, obviously much much much more. That's the kind of stuff people like to read.

But if it's a group sex story, then naturally there would be more emphasis on the descriptions and what's going on.

If it's an exhibitionist story, you'd focus on the actions, and a lot about how nervous the character is for being nude in front of everyone.

Basically, just talk about whatever is the most apparent. What sticks out about the story? Focus on that.
 
I am kicking around a few stories right now and here's where I stand:

I write the intro, I bring characters to life (kinda, I'm no professional) and the story develops, it starts getting good and juicy and .... well.... I get stuck on actual sex.

I feel like it's about driving imagination and letting the reader picture the events without zooming in on every drop of cum with 16 megapixels. But then the scenes seem kind of flat compared to what everyone else writes. But, how many ways can you really describe a blowjob before you just let a reader take control in their mind's eye?

QUESTION 1: How descriptive do you like the sex?

QUESTION 2: Does anyone have good examples of well-written, paced, sex without being over the top?

Thanks for your thoughts.

I actually have the opposite problem. I can easily dive right into the description of the sex and describe the entire scene with massive detail. I have a harder problem with the buildup to it and and incorporating the plot and my characters.

Sorry, I'm no help other than say everyone's different. Some want to jump right into the middle of a sex scene on the first paragraph, others take three Lit pages before anyone starts getting naked. Do what you like and don't worry about anyone else.
 
Sometimes they're easy to write; sometimes they ain't. Sometimes the action just flows and sometimes I have to drag the words out, kicking and screaming. I try to avoid clinical detail -- when I see such in stories I tend to skim past. But some readers DEMAND the gynecology-report approach.

So, write what you're comfortable with, and maybe a little beyond.
 
Last edited:
I agree with you that a middle-ground is optimal: you don't want too much description because then the reader isn't an active participant, but you also don't want too little description, because then the reader isn't even being titillated. The trouble is finding that happy medium. And of course it is different for every writer, and for every reader for that matter!

As for how long it takes to actually get to the sex, I like using a technique called in medias res - starting right in the middle of the sex, as if you just turned on a porno in the middle. Then, when the reader sees that there is indeed juicy stuff in store, you can "flash back" to how the story began, and let the reader anticipate the return to the fuck-fest that was on the first page.
 
I think John O'Hara penned the best sex scenes and they hardly exist at all.

Two standout in my mind. In one an MD finishes examining a woman and asks her, WHAT ELSE CAN I DO FOR YOU TODAY? She replies, LOCK THE DOOR AND DONT MAKE ME IN A FAMILY WAY.

In the other Father goes to the guest's room to call her to supper. He knocks on the door, and hears her mumble something. He opens the door and she's naked. She lets him get an eye full then says, GO AWAY YOU DIRTY OLD MAN. She's a college coed.
 
I am kicking around a few stories right now and here's where I stand:

I write the intro, I bring characters to life (kinda, I'm no professional) and the story develops, it starts getting good and juicy and .... well.... I get stuck on actual sex.

I feel like it's about driving imagination and letting the reader picture the events without zooming in on every drop of cum with 16 megapixels. But then the scenes seem kind of flat compared to what everyone else writes. But, how many ways can you really describe a blowjob before you just let a reader take control in their mind's eye?

QUESTION 1: How descriptive do you like the sex?

QUESTION 2: Does anyone have good examples of well-written, paced, sex without being over the top?

Thanks for your thoughts.

I'm far more interested in the setup (seduction, chase, courtship, ...) than the physical details. I've written a couple that had no graphic detail at all - pretty much just "fade to black" - and it doesn't seem to have hurt their ratings any. So I wouldn't worry about whether you have too much or too little detail; there are audiences for both, and since nobody's paying you, you might as well write the one that feels best to you.
 
Don't overthink Literotica. Use it as a testing ground. First off, try writing the level of description that turns you on and I bet readers will find you. Then you can branch out and write to an audience if you want.
 
Sex is notoriously hard to write. Great writers are regular recipients of the Bad Sex Awards. Lots of writers on Lit decide that they're going to write porn, genitals in motion with little plot or character, or they decide to go light on the sex, even more romantic. My favourite stories are those with great characters and settings and hot sex. I try to write that kind of story.

The best advice I was given about writing sex scenes was to start with the basic rules of good writing: keep sentences short, vary the vocabulary, go easy with the adverbs, and show don't tell.

I think sex scenes are usually best when written in slow motion. There's nothing worse than a sex scene that only lasts a few sentences. It's the literary equivalent of premature ejaculation.

If clothes come off, write it like a striptease: the slow reveal. Breasts and cocks shouldn't be measured (no 36D tits or 10" cocks). We need descriptions: "He ran his tongue around the circumference of her areola, puckered with small glands, salty as tears", "She knelt before his cock -- uncircumcised, bending slighly, marked with raised, purple vein -- and she began to imagine how this unique member might feel delving within her". Thoughts, feelings and all five senses are the tool kit.

Writing dialogue into the middle of a sex scene can be powerful. "Fuck me harder!" is simple; "'Your sales figures are through the roof', he moaned as he drove into her" is quite fun.

These are the things I've found helpful. I hope they help.
 
To me they write themselves, long or short. If reading then it does not matter provided they are well written and anatomically feasible.
 
The best advice I can give is to read and read widely. Find the sex scenes that REALLY do it for you and look for the parts that got you going the most. It's not an exact formula, and it varies between writer and context.
 
It should be more than "He put tab A into slot B", but not so descriptive that I can smell the santorum.
 
It should be more than "He put tab A into slot B", but not so descriptive that I can smell the santorum.

I have had many people tell me my sex scenes are 'vivid' that they can easily see it all happening and feel like they are their. But I can't say exactly how I get that reaction, I visualize and out it down.

I get the same for my fight scenes.

I don't believe writing sex and violence is any different....in some of my books they are at the same time:eek:
 
It should be more than "He put tab A into slot B", but not so descriptive that I can smell the santorum.

In all fiction writing, it is possible to be heavy handed with description. I don't see writers of erotica in any danger of giving too much description in sex scenes. Sometimes the choice of words might not be quite right, but too much description doesn't seem to be a problem.
 
Totally depends on the mood and story. I have a few favorites that are unbelievably detailed and graphic and that's part of the charm. Others that aren't. In either case they fit the characters and the type of writing and build up. The key is how you made the sex flow from the mood you've created.

Personally, I feel erotica should be written with the sex in mind from the get go. It should dictate everything. The story and characters should be built around it to enhance it. Then when you write it, it will flow naturally. I think the sex should drive the story, not the other way around.

But if you start from a great story thinking you'll just fill in the sex when you get there . . . not as good. I don't know how many stories I've read by "skilled story-tellers" where yeah, the story is good, but the sex scenes read like tossed in porn. No offense, but EH seems to suffer the most from this.

If you're going to write erotica, imo, you have to commit to the sex part. It cannot be secondary.

Its not the difference between porn and erotica, but between erotica and "more-or-less erotic literature." Which is fine, but that's what anyone in mainstream writes all the time. Why u calling it erotica?
 
I have had many people tell me my sex scenes are 'vivid' that they can easily see it all happening and feel like they are their. But I can't say exactly how I get that reaction, I visualize and out it down.

I get the same for my fight scenes.

I don't believe writing sex and violence is any different....in some of my books they are at the same time:eek:

I wrote my first fight scene recently and my god this is the truth
 
I don't believe writing sex and violence is any different....in some of my books they are at the same time:eek:

This.

If you can write a good fight, you can write good sex. If you can write good sex, you can write a page-searing battle.

With both, it isn't the physical actions that readers get off on, but the emotional impact those actions have on all those involved. The give and take, the ebb and flow, the push and the push back.

Much was made of the fight scenes from the film 300, and it's true that they're well-choreographed and played with to look awesome as hell, but it's all in the timing. Every shot slows down and speeds up for a reason. The camera focuses where it does every time for a given purpose: to provide a level of emotional connection to the audience.

Wish I could harness that in everything I've written. I'm nowhere close, but I'm damn sure not giving up on trying harder.

Well said, Lovecraft. :)
 
Personally, I feel erotica should be written with the sex in mind from the get go. It should dictate everything. The story and characters should be built around it to enhance it. Then when you write it, it will flow naturally. I think the sex should drive the story, not the other way around.

But if you start from a great story thinking you'll just fill in the sex when you get there . . . not as good.

TRue with one caveat. A really top notch writer could make a burning hot erotic story where the denouement was a single kiss. Sex itself doesn't have to be the goal and sex itself can be unsexy. You can get dicks hard and (especially) pussies drenched with pages of buildup and suggestion.

Not that I've ever written erotica that didn't contain overt sex scenes myself. But I look at my highest rated series and it's a love story in which a woman learns she has a sexually submissive nature (rather to her own surprise); and for all those words across six chapters, the sex scenes are a tiny part of the story. But there are pages of mental foreplay and long stretches of physical foreplay described, and that's what made it work.

This suggestion may not work for kink writing, where it's the wrongness of the sex itself that's basically the point.
 
Porn is written entirely around the sex. Sex with padding.
Erotica is a story containing explicit sex.
Romance is a story that wishes it could contain real sex.
They are different.

Example
Porn have sex, leave and never learn names.
Erotica, talk, have sex, leave and names are optional.
Romance, talk, talk, talk, skim over the sex, talk, leave and names are forgotten.
 
T A really top notch writer could make a burning hot erotic story where the denouement was a single kiss.

So what? Why would he/she do so if she/he didn't want to? I'm not writing for the mainstream when I'm writing erotica or porn. I don't hold back--just because I do in the mainstream writing. It's a so what? discussion/distinction.
 
Porn is written entirely around the sex. Sex with padding.
Erotica is a story containing explicit sex.
Romance is a story that wishes it could contain real sex.
They are different.

Example
Porn have sex, leave and never learn names.
Erotica, talk, have sex, leave and names are optional.
Romance, talk, talk, talk, skim over the sex, talk, leave and names are forgotten.

Erotica doesn't have to contain explicit sex. Erotica can mostly be mental sexual tension. Doesn't have to develop into an explicit sex act at all. So, I think you need to rethink the distinction you give between erotica and romance.
 
Back
Top