Problems getting a good transition in story - need help

[MiddleAgedMan]

I've got a story in writing, but I'm a little unsure of how to best describe a transition in the characters' frame of mind, so to speak.

Background:
John and Ellen have been married happily for years, have two kids and a stable relationship. Recently John has been feeling less satisfied with his life and started acting on his long-repressed voyeuristic tendencies, culminating in him twice getting caught filming women and ending up having sex with them.

Ellen has seen the hidden-camera footage of these indiscretions and they have dealt with the situation; she has forgiven him and actually feels a little bit excited about the prospect of taking on the role as a voyeur herself.

****
Now, my problem is this: Ellen has brought the hidden camera to the spa at the local gym and is feeling excited and a little bit nervous about filming the other women there in the showers. As she is relaxing in the sauna, camera rolling outside, one of the women her husband fucked comes in to join her in the sauna.

So far I've described Ellen's anger, despite her forgiving her husband, and at the same time a certain attraction to this woman.

My plan is to give Ellen a background where she has had a few 'adventures' in her youth with her best friend, Sue; though not actual lesbian encounters, just almost-innocent comments and maybe mutual masturbation and such.

I am fairly certain I can get the transition from anger over to lust for this woman down on paper, and I think going from there to her own, lesbian infidelity will be easy, she gets her revenge so to speak.

The problem arises when I also want to add the husband into the mix; I want them to progress to a fairly open marriage where they both have indiscretions every now and then, either alone or as a couple, filming it both obviously and secretly for their own pleasure.

This is a fairly major shift in their frame of mind, and I worry that it will come across as unlikely unless I describe this transitional phase well enough. It also gets a bit complicated with their children in the mix, but my plan is to omit that entire problem by simply not writing them into the stories at all, other than as a backdrop for their lives together.

I am looking for pointers as to how I can best bring about this shift in their relationship, what goes through their minds as they open up this proverbial Pandora's box? It probably can't be a single train of thought, that would it be too simple and not believable. Could it be for example a situation where Ellen gradually becomes infatuated with this woman and succumbs to her charms? This woman, Veronica, is completely void of remorse or second-guessing, she just acts on her libido and seeks adventures where she can, so her compliance with whatever Ellen wants is assured.

Sue is also a character I feel could contribute; she could be an instigator of Ellen's first actual lesbian encounter, maybe after a few too many glasses of wine, and perhaps firing up Ellen's need for a petty revenge?

Would it be believable that Ellen for example ends up having sex with Veronica, feels guilty about it and confesses to her husband? That confession could then lead to a mutual agreement to seek adventures outside their marriage, perhaps kicking it off with a threesome with Veronica? (Which might be the ending of the first chapter of the many I have plans for...)

So, good people of Literotica: how can I best get around this problem in a way you will enjoy reading?

*Dons fireproof suit

 

[HandsInTheDark]

So, good people of Literotica: how can I best get around this problem in a way you will enjoy reading?

*Dons fireproof suit

You can't. I hate the premise. Nothing you do with this will make me touch your story.

But that's ok; and the point is, write it how it works for you. People who think like you do will like your story and the rest don't matter.

You're asking a pointless question. No one here can speak for masses of readers.

 

[Kethandra]

(snip) the point is, write it how it works for you. People who think like you do will like your story and the rest don't matter.

You're asking a pointless question. No one here can speak for masses of readers.

If it turns you on and you are excited about what is happening, more readers will likely feel that. If it feels forced or contrived, readers will likely feel that too.

You started with him as a voyeur, filming the women. Why not use that as a further plot vehicle that is in character? Perhaps the wife lets herself appear in a secret film he's shooting, surprising him, or the couple plots to set up the other woman on film. If his kink is voyeur, that shouldn't simply be mentioned at the beginning and dropped. It should reoccur and propel his fantasy as well as the plot.

Also, when thought processes get too involved, readers may lose interest. Don't underestimate their ability to suspend disbelief or fill in their own details.

Just my thoughts. There are many many ways this could go. Good luck.

 

[Desiremakesmeweak]

I'm sure that if the psychologists here look at this and deign to give an opinion they may talk about something called 'argumentative leap.'

It happens in advertisements all the time: 'women need 50% more iron than men. That's why I take Geritrol every day.' There seems to be some relationship between the first, factual statement, and the conclusion, but, in fact, there is no necessary connection between them.

In other words, the premises do not prove the conclusion.

She has seen the film, and she is angry. (Statements of 'fact.' More or less.) And she has forgiven him. (That's the conclusion not sustained by the previous facts. Why does she forgive him? How does she think it is possible for her to forgive him? - these are very important factors that if left hanging in the air, people are going to dwell on to the detriment of how they perceive the story.

I think you ask a very important question about transition in any event. The story seems to fail to meet minimum 'transition logic' if I may put it that way.

The basic question or story proposition is this (perhaps): guy likes women. Is furtive about it though opportunistic. Wife is the usual, typical sort of wife. The story requires that the wife become interested in bisexuality, and also becomes totally okay with the guy having sex with another woman as well. Initially she was angry.

Hmn.

For a hundred thousands dollar I will tell you. And that is INCREDIBLY cheap.

 

[GoldenCojones]

So, good people of Literotica: how can I best get around this problem in a way you will enjoy reading?

*Dons fireproof suit

IMHO You need to provide background on the characters that will support the transition you are writing. You mentioned some lesbian curiosity for the wife, build that up prior to needing the transition. You might also introduce some voyeuristic tendencies for the wife. You mentioned she saw her husbands secret videos. Make her be turned on by them even as she is angered by them.

I guess the simplest advice I can give is think about what kind of people would take that leap and then go back to the beginning of the story and write those people. Once you have those characters in the story, the story will take care of itself if you stay true to those characters.

Good luck. I hope to see your story posted and get a chance to read it.

 

[sr71plt]

The feeling of revenge at this point in your description is against the other woman, Veronica, isn't it, not her husband? She's forgiven him. So, where I'd take this is the wife seeing Veronica putting the make on some other woman's husband, being set off to punish Veronica but in her scheme herself turning around to falling for Veronica. From there, we'd probably go separate ways. I'd have Veronica take advantage of the wife then, but that wouldn't be a happy ending (but would be a lesson piece and not just leaving what's recovering alone).

 

[robertreams]

I would take Cajones advice and be sure those inclinations are built into the characters early, even before the action and cheating begins. Later, the wife could have fantasies about his being there while she is fucking the other woman. Let's sayy he pops into her head because she is (supposedly) avenging his acts, butthen the image says and she keeps getting flashes of his body, his cock, mixed in with her other images, or with flashbacks of her encounter.

Or maybe she could have flashbacks of the other woman while she is "forgiving" her husband and the images blend.

Not too organized, I guess, but that's your job. Just tossing out some ideas.

 

[MiddleAgedMan]

She has seen the film, and she is angry. (Statements of 'fact.' More or less.) And she has forgiven him. (That's the conclusion not sustained by the previous facts. Why does she forgive him? How does she think it is possible for her to forgive him? - these are very important factors that if left hanging in the air, people are going to dwell on to the detriment of how they perceive the story.

I think you ask a very important question about transition in any event. The story seems to fail to meet minimum 'transition logic' if I may put it that way.

Thank you for the constructive feedback. I have laid the groundwork for this in the previous, already published, chapter. She went through a thought process about her feelings, where both her forgiveness was dealt with, as well as her predisposition towards women, to some degree. I've since followed that up in my current project by adding in a flashback to a near-lesbian encounter in her college days.

IMHO You need to provide background on the characters that will support the transition you are writing. You mentioned some lesbian curiosity for the wife, build that up prior to needing the transition. You might also introduce some voyeuristic tendencies for the wife. You mentioned she saw her husbands secret videos. Make her be turned on by them even as she is angered by them.

I guess the simplest advice I can give is think about what kind of people would take that leap and then go back to the beginning of the story and write those people. Once you have those characters in the story, the story will take care of itself if you stay true to those characters.

Good luck. I hope to see your story posted and get a chance to read it.

Again, thank you for the input. As my comment above covers; the groundwork is, to some degree, already in place. This chapter starts off with her bringing the hidden camera into the womens' showers to let her be the voyeur. Then she meets the woman who seduced her husband in the sauna. She has conflicting emotions of anger and lust, but I got a few more paragraphs down on paper (so to speak) yesterday, and I think I have her progressing nicely towards her first real lesbian encounter, she just needs to talk to her husband first...

I would take Cajones advice and be sure those inclinations are built into the characters early, even before the action and cheating begins. Later, the wife could have fantasies about his being there while she is fucking the other woman. Let's sayy he pops into her head because she is (supposedly) avenging his acts, butthen the image says and she keeps getting flashes of his body, his cock, mixed in with her other images, or with flashbacks of her encounter.

Or maybe she could have flashbacks of the other woman while she is "forgiving" her husband and the images blend.

Not too organized, I guess, but that's your job. Just tossing out some ideas.

I like it, it fits quite nicely with what I am planning, and it would be sort of 'in character' with the transition I've started writing now.

Thank you all for constructive criticism, those not quoted as well, I hope I can get this wrapped up to our mutual satisfaction.