What's it like to be kissed by a vampire?

[parodyluvr75]

It's a pain in the neck.

 

[DesEsseintes]

It's a good way of checking for garlic breath.

 

[parodyluvr75]

What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it?

"hollow-weenie!"

 

[parodyluvr75]

It's a good way of checking for garlic breath.

Now I want pasta. I guess I won't be kissing any vampires.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Now I want pasta.

Be honest: is that 'now' necessary?

 

[parodyluvr75]

How does a girl vampire flirt?

She bats her eyes.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Be honest: is that 'now' necessary?

Actually, no. I love pasta. Somehow you know me.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Actually, no. I love pasta. Somehow you know me.

I know everybody. But in a local gossip way, not an NSA way.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Where is HF, she'll like this thread.

What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?

Count Duckula


Why are vampires like false teeth?

They both come out at night.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I know everybody. But in a local gossip way, not an NSA way.

I have been suspecting you were a government informer, I'm glad you cleared that up.

 

[DesEsseintes]

I have been suspecting you were a government informer, I'm glad you cleared that up.

It's not my fault if the FBI and Diplomatic Corps are always coming over. They can't resist my petits fours.

 

[parodyluvr75]

It's not my fault if the FBI and Diplomatic Corps are always coming over. They can't resist my petits fours.

The best way to seduce anyone is tasty cakes. It's an unwritten rule. I hope you got incriminating photos.

 

[DesEsseintes]

The best way to seduce anyone is tasty cakes. It's an unwritten rule. I hope you got incriminating photos.

The best, birdy. Agent Cooper, face deep in bergamot marmalade. All in unforgiving Super-Eight close up.

 

[parodyluvr75]

The best, birdy. Agent Cooper, face deep in bergamot marmalade. All in unforgiving Super-Eight close up.

Truth!

I've never had bergamot marmalade but I do enjoy earl grey. I got a little moist reading that. I have no love for the govs.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Truth!

I've never had bergamot marmalade but I do enjoy earl grey. I got a little moist reading that. I have no love for the govs.

That sounds like a little bird on the wire has been tapped.

 

[parodyluvr75]

That sounds like a little bird on the wire has been tapped.

Possibly? In my youth my politics were far from acceptable. But in age, I imagine I'm boring, so if I'm tapped it's help induce sleepiness in the listeners.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Possibly? In my youth my politics were far from acceptable. But in age, I imagine I'm boring, so if I'm tapped it's help induce sleepiness in the listeners.

Not boring. More an ability to ease the heart's pain, like Keats' nightingale, or the owl of Minerva.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Not boring. More an ability to ease the heart's pain, like Keats' nightingale, or the owl of Minerva.

The owl of Minerva, takes its flight only when the shades of night are gathering.

I guess it fits, thank you.

 

[DesEsseintes]

I guess it fits, thank you.

Love the new AV!

The only worry is that your new look may frighten away the lesser spotted tits that have been known to frequent the GB aviary.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Love the new AV!

The only worry is that your new look may frighten away the lesser spotted tits that have been known to frequent the GB aviary.

Thanks, it's your fault.

Unlike like what Parker thought, roosters love chicks with glasses. Plus they make my eyes look bigger.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Thanks, it's your fault.

Unlike like what Parker thought, roosters love chicks with glasses. Plus they make my eyes look bigger.

I've often thought how attractive owls could be if only their eyes were larger.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I've often thought how attractive owls could be if only their eyes were larger.

Bigger is better. I think most people think that.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Bigger is better. I think most people think that.

I shall try not to be too disappointed with my very minor-league headache, then.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I shall try not to be too disappointed with my very minor-league headache, then.

I've got aspirin, I'm always prepared.

 

[pointless]

secret vampires.

yeah, it's not great. nostalgia is what it is, man. deal with it.