Free Spirits and Doms

[IrisGardens]

Can a free spirit become a sub and be a good sub? I am not talking about a brat-- I conversed with a Dom over this and he said that a free spirit can benefit from the lifestyle, but cannot live it 24/7 because it will drive the f/s and the Dom nuts. He said that someone who is not wired to care about what other people think can only stand the D/s game for a set time.

He sent me this to explain what a free spirit is, and said that a sub is a different creature and that a sub cannot be a free spirit.

I was trying to write a romantic comedy about a free spirit and a Dom and my Dom friend asked me to read it aloud, but he said that it wouldn't fly. If he was in Dom mode, he'd be ticked off and the free spirit would be like, "knock that sh-- off, you are being an a--!" I'm fine with his advice and opinion, but I would like to know of your experiences and what you think.

 

[MrHappy212]

If something comes up that restricts their freedom, they will be unable to function properly until they are again free to roam life as they please. - this line says it all.....

 

[CutieMouse]

Huh... I guess I have to change my entire sexual identity/orientation now [because some random person, who has nothing to do with me, who has never met me, who probably structures his D/s differently than me] says I don't exist.



The other thing to consider would be what his idea of "24/7" look like. If his 24/7 isn't compatible with a "free spirit's" view of 24/7, then they simply aren't compatible. Neither are right or wrong; they are just a bad fit. the [D-identifying] lovers I've had over the years have always found me quite easy to do 24/7... But I also make sure we see 24/7 the same way before going there.

 

[MrHappy212]

Huh... I guess I have to change my entire sexual identity/orientation now [because some random person, who has nothing to do with me, who has never met me, who probably structures his D/s differently than me] says I don't exist.



The other thing to consider would be what his idea of "24/7" look like. If his 24/7 isn't compatible with a "free spirit's" view of 24/7, then they simply aren't compatible. Neither are right or wrong; they are just a bad fit. the [D-identifying] lovers I've had over the years have always found me quite easy to do 24/7... But I also make sure we see 24/7 the same way before going there.

HEH everyone is different It isn't impossible.


And some people can't turn off their natural personalities like flipping a switch so 24/7 could mean all day every day....just saying

 

[docile_dancer]

Can a free spirit become a sub and be a good sub?
- - - -
He sent me this to explain what a free spirit is, and said that a sub is a different creature and that a sub cannot be a free spirit.
- - - -
If he was in Dom mode, he'd be ticked off and the free spirit would be like, "knock that sh-- off, you are being an a--!" I'm fine with his advice and opinion, but I would like to know of your experiences and what you think.

*ahem* I'm sure he MEANT to say that it wouldn't fly with HIM.

I have to whole heartedly disagree. As CutieMouse said, everyone's views are different and it boils down to compatibility. All people and relationships are different. I've been told that my way of living is part of my charm. I can assure you that I am a free spirit and have had wonderful D/s relationships.

If something comes up that restricts their freedom, they will be unable to function properly until they are again free to roam life as they please. - this line says it all.....

No. Just no. That is simply one opinion. My arguments would pointless as they would simply be my own opinion based on my own experiences. We could go in circles for days about what submission is, what a free spirit is, and what 24/7 looks like. *shrugs*

 

[IrisAlthea]

Can a free spirit become a sub and be a good sub? I am not talking about a brat-- I conversed with a Dom over this and he said that a free spirit can benefit from the lifestyle, but cannot live it 24/7 because it will drive the f/s and the Dom nuts. He said that someone who is not wired to care about what other people think can only stand the D/s game for a set time.

He sent me this to explain what a free spirit is, and said that a sub is a different creature and that a sub cannot be a free spirit.

I was trying to write a romantic comedy about a free spirit and a Dom and my Dom friend asked me to read it aloud, but he said that it wouldn't fly. If he was in Dom mode, he'd be ticked off and the free spirit would be like, "knock that sh-- off, you are being an a--!" I'm fine with his advice and opinion, but I would like to know of your experiences and what you think.

You are writing a story.

Someone wrote a story about ending up in another world when hiding in a closet and boy, did it fly.

Write your story well and it will fly.

 

[MrHappy212]

You are writing a story.

Someone wrote a story about ending up in another world when hiding in a closet and boy, did it fly.

Write your story well and it will fly.

I like this


And I agree with you DD, everyone has a different opinion.


The best advice I can give is not to use stereotypes at all but real people.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[MrHappy212]

People change too.

Character growth is an important part of any good story. Even a RomCom needs a bit of growth...unless your writing one of those love at first lust type stories...

 

[IrisGardens]

What do you classify yourself as now? What made you change?

 

[IrisGardens]

You are writing a story.

Someone wrote a story about ending up in another world when hiding in a closet and boy, did it fly.

Write your story well and it will fly.

Beautiful!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[IrisGardens]

I should have prefaced that I was asking if you cared to share, but I thank you for the ideas that you have shared.

I feel that everyone is fluid. I think that everybody can change, and that even our core can change. I went through a disaster myself, and the disaster changed me in ways that I'm still discovering and it's been several years. And it's funny because when I think about certain things that surprise me, I know the exact moment that everything happened. I feel like I'm still going through aftershocks.

I didn't argue with the Dom because he seemed pretty determined to be right, whether or not he was, and he was not keen on the idea of sharing ideas as to how it might be able to happen. I think he may have taken my story a little too personally...

 

[docile_dancer]

...
Perhaps even simpler ...giving one's heart away.

(mini hijack)
I've read many of your posts and you both have an amazing way with words. This? It makes my heart sing!


OP, I love what IrisAlthea said best. It's something I shouldn't have overlooked and there's no better response:

...
Write your story well and it will fly.

 

[IrisGardens]

(mini hijack)
I've read many of your posts and you both have an amazing way with words. This? It makes my heart sing!


OP, I love what IrisAlthea said best. It's something I should have overlooked and there's no better response:

She is quite the wordsmith, isn't she? Hijack away!

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[midwestyankee]

I am a free spirit but my spirit is very expensive.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I am a free spirit but my spirit is very expensive.

Oh, but not priceless?

As to the OP, I'm here to testify that you absolutely can be a free spirit and a sub, if you so desire. Some Dom(mes) just aren't up to the challenge

 

[Penuche]

Back to the OP's thing of the Dom reviewing the story saying that it couldn't and wouldn't work:

In my arrogant opinion (although I'm not looking for a fight here) if you could more or less submit to more or less anyone more dominant, because it's such a central part of your personality, where's the satisfaction for the Dom(me) in that, compared to somebody consciously and actively choosing to do so?

 

[MasterGrimoir]

Surely if you really are a free spirit then you can choose to submit and having thus chosen you remain free even as you investigate the domain under someone else's tutelage. Presumably that's the advantage of being a free spirit, you are free of the shackles of convention and can explore the byways of human nature and human experience without guilt or regret.

 

[midwestyankee]

Oh, but not priceless?

As to the OP, I'm here to testify that you absolutely can be a free spirit and a sub, if you so desire. Some Dom(mes) just aren't up to the challenge

No, I gave up on Mastercard a long time ago.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

No, I gave up on Mastercard a long time ago.

Well now I'm simply too paranoid to click on anything, a failure of my own making

 

[midwestyankee]

Well now I'm simply too paranoid to click on anything, a failure of my own making

This one's a classic and I assure you, there is zero squick factor. On my honor as a lifelong perv.

 

[Netzach]

The trick is to pair up with someone whose style of mastery or ownership is not the usual micromanaging dipshittery, but someone who wants to have input/control/engagement with the things that matter - or who appreciates that the things which matter to you actually make you into who you are, so better to leave certain areas alone.

Like, I don't need to be able to fix, paint, or even change my own oil to own a car. I don't need to be the jockey to own the horse.

 

[Ahlam]

Can a free spirit become a sub and be a good sub? I am not talking about a brat-- I conversed with a Dom over this and he said that a free spirit can benefit from the lifestyle, but cannot live it 24/7 because it will drive the f/s and the Dom nuts. He said that someone who is not wired to care about what other people think can only stand the D/s game for a set time.

You are the author and so you are calling the shots in your story. You decide what is possible and what isn't. Free spirits do as they please. If they want to submit to someone they are compatible with, then they may. I don't see it as a strain at all. I imagine negotiating a power exchange dynamic with a "free spirit" would be a fun process.