wondering if there's anybody else out there that considers themselves a top yet enjoys bottoming. i am very dominant sexually but i like getting fisted and sucking. i get my wife to peg me with a strapon occasionally also. it just feels good to me . can't say that i feel subserviant in that position. it just feels good. maybe i'm just weird.
tops that bottom
- Thread starter wcm59
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TheLM
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I identify as a switch.
so do you switch mentaly. do you feel like a sub when your being a bottom?
that's where i'm at. kind of fascinating to see some of the labels going around.
none2_none2
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Keep in mind that there is a distinction between insertee and inserter vs dominance and subservience. Top & bottom terms sometimes get mixed up, but it really means whether you are the inserter or the insertee.
If someone likes both they are usually considered versitile. Now, if they are primarily one or the other, but occasionally like to do the opposite, then sometimes they will come up with a percentage in their bio's. For instance 80%top/20%bottom is someone who is technically versitile, but leans much more towards top (80%).
For myself I'm simply a top. I did bottom decades ago when I started. Not because I wanted to, but because I was young and naive. I was let do believe that you were supposed to be versitile. If you were really hung you could be 100% top. Then I grew up and realized that size has nothing to do with it. (Well I suppose if someone was impotent or had a micropenis yet wants to do anal sex, they simply cannot top, but few fall into that condition.
I never craved penises, so having one in my mouth or ass seemed weird and unnatural. Some people are 100% top because they see it as effeminate and cannot go down that road. They nevrer tried it, they just don't want the stigma of maybe being effeminate. I gave it a shot, but it just wasn't me.
On the other hand, I crave the asses of men who turn me on. I'm no more masculine nor "str8 acting" than the guys I want to be inside of. My heart is simply in that role.
Now as to dominant and passive. It is easy to assume that the one whose ass is penetrated is somehow submissive, that is not necessarily the case. Just like some women can be dominant, so can bottoms. It may be the exception, but it is possible.
I would admit that I might lean a tiny bit towards domination, but I cannot keep the act up if the bottom shows any uncomfortability. If he is not getting off on me being inside him, then I would typically stop the activity. Probably someone who is much more dominate in nature would simply work to get his own rocks off, and hope that the bottom enjoyed it to some degree, but it wouldn't be a big concern of his.
While I could use the term 100% top, just like some could say 100% bottom, probably most fall somewhere inbetween. It always amazes me that some claim that bottoms by far outnumber tops, but if that were really true, I would think being a top would be paradise with men all over who are interested.
That was never my experience when I was single. Perhaps it was because I wasn't a hung top. Perhaps it was because even bottoms have a "type" that they want to top them and I wasn't it. Likewise for me, plenty of bottoms would never trip my trigger. For instance, I had no interest in boyish males. Nor would I find an effeminate person of interest. I might be friends with such, but the sexual desire simply was not there.
Also keep in mind that some people don't care for anal sex at all. I think that is because fear of aids, fear that it is dirty down there, fear that it is more emasculating, fear that it is more "gay". All I know is that it was two years before I got to fuck, I really disliked gay sex. Mutual J/O didn't really do anything for me. Oral was pleasant, but not orgasmic. I consider oral like lollypop sex - a polite jesture, but that is all. When I finally got to top in anal sex, I finally realized just how wonderful gay sex could be. I used to find it a hoot that some would say, but you were never blown by me... It reminded me of old ladies who when told my favorite cake was carrot-cake, would say something like you have never tried MY cholocate cake... Well after years of "trying" I think I can simply say the other forms of sex simply don't come close to the intimacy and intensity of being inside a guy's ass. No teeth, no gasping for breath, and you can look straight into his eyes, kiss him smell his face and neck, and whisper in his ear just how wonderful he makes you feel. When i can fuck, I'm in no rush, to me. I'm not out to be a jackhammer, but a lover. I'm just very fortunate in that my partner didn't mind me being a top. I'm blessed because I have him.
If someone likes both they are usually considered versitile. Now, if they are primarily one or the other, but occasionally like to do the opposite, then sometimes they will come up with a percentage in their bio's. For instance 80%top/20%bottom is someone who is technically versitile, but leans much more towards top (80%).
For myself I'm simply a top. I did bottom decades ago when I started. Not because I wanted to, but because I was young and naive. I was let do believe that you were supposed to be versitile. If you were really hung you could be 100% top. Then I grew up and realized that size has nothing to do with it. (Well I suppose if someone was impotent or had a micropenis yet wants to do anal sex, they simply cannot top, but few fall into that condition.
I never craved penises, so having one in my mouth or ass seemed weird and unnatural. Some people are 100% top because they see it as effeminate and cannot go down that road. They nevrer tried it, they just don't want the stigma of maybe being effeminate. I gave it a shot, but it just wasn't me.
On the other hand, I crave the asses of men who turn me on. I'm no more masculine nor "str8 acting" than the guys I want to be inside of. My heart is simply in that role.
Now as to dominant and passive. It is easy to assume that the one whose ass is penetrated is somehow submissive, that is not necessarily the case. Just like some women can be dominant, so can bottoms. It may be the exception, but it is possible.
I would admit that I might lean a tiny bit towards domination, but I cannot keep the act up if the bottom shows any uncomfortability. If he is not getting off on me being inside him, then I would typically stop the activity. Probably someone who is much more dominate in nature would simply work to get his own rocks off, and hope that the bottom enjoyed it to some degree, but it wouldn't be a big concern of his.
While I could use the term 100% top, just like some could say 100% bottom, probably most fall somewhere inbetween. It always amazes me that some claim that bottoms by far outnumber tops, but if that were really true, I would think being a top would be paradise with men all over who are interested.
That was never my experience when I was single. Perhaps it was because I wasn't a hung top. Perhaps it was because even bottoms have a "type" that they want to top them and I wasn't it. Likewise for me, plenty of bottoms would never trip my trigger. For instance, I had no interest in boyish males. Nor would I find an effeminate person of interest. I might be friends with such, but the sexual desire simply was not there.
Also keep in mind that some people don't care for anal sex at all. I think that is because fear of aids, fear that it is dirty down there, fear that it is more emasculating, fear that it is more "gay". All I know is that it was two years before I got to fuck, I really disliked gay sex. Mutual J/O didn't really do anything for me. Oral was pleasant, but not orgasmic. I consider oral like lollypop sex - a polite jesture, but that is all. When I finally got to top in anal sex, I finally realized just how wonderful gay sex could be. I used to find it a hoot that some would say, but you were never blown by me... It reminded me of old ladies who when told my favorite cake was carrot-cake, would say something like you have never tried MY cholocate cake... Well after years of "trying" I think I can simply say the other forms of sex simply don't come close to the intimacy and intensity of being inside a guy's ass. No teeth, no gasping for breath, and you can look straight into his eyes, kiss him smell his face and neck, and whisper in his ear just how wonderful he makes you feel. When i can fuck, I'm in no rush, to me. I'm not out to be a jackhammer, but a lover. I'm just very fortunate in that my partner didn't mind me being a top. I'm blessed because I have him.
Last edited:
Ya lol
Palamino19
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I'm not really sub or dom, except for the benefit of someone I'm pleasing. I like sex. IF someone knows how do anal where it feels GOOD, well, no need to talk, fuck me, and fuck me again. I certainly also like to fuck someone who likes what I'm doing. And again.
I'm always kind of leery of letting psychology get in the way of fucking. If I watch you sliding it into my wife while she moans, this does not mean you are dominating me. Maybe, just maybe, it means I'm a dirty, dirty perv.
I'm always kind of leery of letting psychology get in the way of fucking. If I watch you sliding it into my wife while she moans, this does not mean you are dominating me. Maybe, just maybe, it means I'm a dirty, dirty perv.
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