Make your pitch to be Speaker of the House!

[boomer177]

First, House Speaker Boehner announced his resignation, apparently falling on his sword to avoid another government shutdown.

On Thursday, the heir-apparent, Majority Leader McCarthy, withdrew his name from contention after having, among other things, stated on talk-radio that the Benghazi investigation was undertaken to bring down Hillary.

The headline in today's New York Times reads: "Desperate GOP Appeals to (Rep.) Ryan on Speaker's Job."

But, strange as it seems, there is no requirement that the Speaker also be a member.

Make your pitch as to why you should be the next Speaker of the United States House of Representatives, for present purposes, all being deemed eligible, citizenship notwithstanding.

(Thank you for taking racist and misogynistic remarks elsewhere.)

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

I can cry on command.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I would make CSPAN the most watched channel on the planet.

 

[Pookie]

Nobody does what I say in my house, so I'd be perfect.

 

[phrodeau]

I can swing a gavel. And after sixteen months, I'd write a book.

 

[Aella_]

I'd be the better choice,
because I can keep a straight face while reciting all the bullshit propaganda that I have to recite. And my Tourette is much more under control.

 

[Colonel Hogan]

The title is "Speaker," right? I rarely shut up.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

I'd fix America in one afternoon.

I have a letter, my great grandfather graduated Harvard (1891) and went to Vinita, Indian Nation to take charge of a school in that city. All were Cherokee. So he put a loaded Colt 45 atop his desk and all went well.

 

[Aella_]

I'd fix America in one afternoon.

please, do ellaborate, we can barely wait for the rest

 

[Noor]

I know Robert's Rules of Order
I can also recite Wilson's Fourteen points.
I have studied WWI and WWII propaganda and can use it.
If necessary I can sell people their own grandmother, dead or alive.

I am a two term representative, pro women, pro equality, and believe the balance of power as a deterrent to war.
I am opposed to the Patriot Act and all this TSA nonsense.

https://youtu.be/JPwkDF5AxQM

 

[Mr Noone]

I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member.

 

[Jennifer]

I wouldn't belong to any club that would have me as a member.

Not even AARP? (sorry, sorry!)

 

[NOIRTRASH]

please, do ellaborate, we can barely wait for the rest

The letter says the school had problems with violent parents and students (they hated fee's and discipline and tests) and John Clarke Johnson stopped the bullshit quickly with the pistol. Prolly learned it at Harvard.

 

[Mr Noone]

Not even AARP? (sorry, sorry!)

Especially AARP.

(Next week we go for purple.)

 

[doctor_insanus]

I'd fix America in one afternoon.

I have a letter, my great grandfather graduated Harvard (1891) and went to Vinita, Indian Nation to take charge of a school in that city. All were Cherokee. So he put a loaded Colt 45 atop his desk and all went well.

Well, you've mastered the inane rhetoric and complete fabrication that the Teabaggers love.

 

[Aella_]

The letter says the school had problems with violent parents and students (they hated fee's and discipline and tests) and John Clarke Johnson stopped the bullshit quickly with the pistol. Prolly learned it at Harvard.

 

[boomer177]

I know Robert's Rules of Order
I can also recite Wilson's Fourteen points.
I have studied WWI and WWII propaganda and can use it.
If necessary I can sell people their own grandmother, dead or alive.

I am a two term representative, pro women, pro equality, and believe the balance of power as a deterrent to war.
I am opposed to the Patriot Act and all this TSA nonsense.

https://youtu.be/JPwkDF5AxQM

I think I'm in love (although we need to talk about the balance of power business).

 

[Sean Renaud]

I'd make politics fun! Trust me, vote Sean Renaud.

The title is "Speaker," right? I rarely shut up.

Yeah but you're too good for US government. Well Congress adjacent anyhow. We should get you on the bench. That would be fucking sweet.

 

[Liar]

As Speaker, I promise to replace the majortiy whip with an actual whip.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Kinky.

I promise to bring an actual banana cream pie and whoever says the stupidest thing of the day gets piefaced.

 

[boomer177]

The pitches--most of them, anyway--have thus far been highly persuasive and substantially more numerous than anticipated.

Sometimes, however, one needs to simply suck-up.

Therefore, reiterating the P.S. in my earlier post on the moribund "I Still want a Moderated GB" thread, http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=71634144&postcount=188, this is to proudly endorse Laurel of Litland for Speaker of the House.

Support Laurel for Speaker, send her to DC!

 

[Colonel Hogan]

Yeah but you're too good for US government. Well Congress adjacent anyhow. We should get you on the bench. That would be fucking sweet.

Ohhh, you KNOW you found my weak spot, right? I would love that shit for sure.

 

[NOIRTRASH]

Well, you've mastered the inane rhetoric and complete fabrication that the Teabaggers love.

I'm a nicer Hitler.

 

[boomer177]

Potential Speakers of the House:

Please do not allow JBJ--oh, excuse me, NOIRTRASH--to kill the thread with his hate-filled crap.

The nation needs you! Post your pitch.

http://i245.photobucket.com/albums/gg57/wangerme51/AmFlag.jpg

 

[boomer177]

Nicholas Fandos, “Hometown Lets Paul Ryan Ponder Speaker Job on Own Terms,”
New York Times, Oct. 12, 2015, http://www.nytimes.com/2015/10/12/u...0151012&nl=todaysheadlines&nlid=66636455&_r=0.

Ryan is as about as hot for the job as certain moderators are for private parts,
so make your pitch!