WHY do we like to watch another cock fucking our women??

[naughtoldperv]

I used to feel like 'the odd guy' for my desires to see some [preferably stranger] larger cock fucking and getting sucked by my wife. After finding this great forum and realizing that there are a lot of like minded men that enjoy it, it makes me wonder WHY we desire it when the [dreaded] norm is to feel jealous.
When I was younger, I would feel jealous, but now in my more mature years, that is an all consuming fantasy and glad to see and hear about others that feel the same 'forbidden' desires.
My hot [but conservative Asian] wife only indulges me mostly out of Asian wifely duty and I try my best to get her into it.
I still ask myself WHY am I compulsed and curious...........
Anyone else know WHY? or feel confused about WHY we need this perversion??

 

[MyRubiLips]

Cuckold fantasy? Like seeing the lager cock satisfy her in a way she hasn't felt before?

 

[naughtoldperv]

Cuckold fantasy? Like seeing the lager cock satisfy her in a way she hasn't felt before?

The idea of the mainstream cuckold porn is a bit of a turn off for me, as I consider myself a willing participant and do want/need my happy ending, preferably after I clean up my woman. There is something beautiful in seeing a large cock and watching my woman worship it and get hot and delirious while she is sucking and fucking it.
Maybe It's just that 'we' just like to see the extreme pleasure that our women can get with a couple of cocks drilling and filling them.
BTW, I'm about average size, but would prefer to see a much larger cock and wife wants to try it as well.
Does cuckolding make me gay, bi, or just perverted??

 

[Blacklace87]

I wish i could find a man into this... Your ladies are lucky

 

[thatguy58]

I wish i could find a man into this... Your ladies are lucky

I hope you do. My experience is that it took me quite a while before I realized, or admitted to myself, that it turns me on...

 

[mikendel]

I have seen all shapes and size cocks entering my wife's sexy body. All have been a turn on to watch. Just watching and listening to her have sex know what the other guy is feeling makes it so hot.

 

[bill3901]

yep, love seeing my lady so hot...

 

[magicalmoments]

I remember reading years ago a theory that watching another guy fuck your wife was a sign of repressed homosexual urges.

The husband being unable to act personally on deep seated homosexual urges substitutes his wife for himself.

Don't know that i believe it myself but an interesting theory none the less.

 

[BareBackRider2]

I remember reading years ago a theory that watching another guy fuck your wife was a sign of repressed homosexual urges.

The husband being unable to act personally on deep seated homosexual urges substitutes his wife for himself.

Don't know that i believe it myself but an interesting theory none the less.

I'd sooner be a lesbian

 

[hilton1958]

To be honest, I wouldn't want to see another cock fucking my wife, unless it belonged to her brother.

 

[policywank]

Don't really know if I can explain why per se but I have observed that a few things happen with some men as they mature.

Men start to realize the fundamental contradiction in the way that they have normally chosen women. The only difference between the dirty girl and the good girl is that the good girl lacks sexual desire or has been intimidated into suppressing it. Either way that doesn't make for a good marital sex life.

As men age they sometimes come to recognize the fundamentally untrue assumptions on which they have built much of their sexual relationships. It isn't true that women need to be in love to enjoy sex. Women obviously have more capacity to engage in sex and attract members of the opposite sex. We don't see sex as better or worse in the extreme way that guys imagine but rather enjoy variety. The idea that "if she was being satisfied at home she wouldn't go elsewhere" is nonsense bravado. Sexual experience doesn't leave us soiled or stretched out or used up any more than it does a man - but it does give us a better and more mature perspective. In this day and age if a woman enjoys sex she has probably sampled lots of men before marriage and expecting her to have not done so is actually quite self-serving and narrow-minded.

It used to be that society compelled men to never drop their delusions or equate lack of sexual desire in women with virtue. A lot of those factors are substantially weakened in today's world. If a man's delusions fall away and he starts to see women more honestly he comes to realize that he applied the wrong criteria to a selection of mate - perceived virtue becomes just another societal assumption and lack of interest in other men becomes a symptom of total lack of interest. And the idea of living your whole life with a woman disinterested in sex isn't very appealing.

At the same time as all the old tropes about virtue and exclusivity start to seem less relevant or outright false the "value" of a woman who is interested in sex becomes higher. You can observe the same in men who get remarried. Not to say that the second wife will be a slut but chances are that the man applies significantly different selection criteria that don't rely on the delusional idealism and fragile egos of young men.

Men are inundated with the notion that women are less interested in sex and that their own male desires are somewhat "wrong". The slut wife is the ultimate representation of a woman who doesn't see it that way but has intense sexual desire. Her willingness to defy all convention and endure negative judgment is proof of her sexuality. And after a decade or two of boring sex with women chosen intentionally for their lack of interest or openness to sex the slut starts to look awfully good.

 

[suckonsimon]

Just to flag up another take on this: I do have fantasies about group sex, but it is never about my wife. It's always about another fm couple where both of them want mfm.

Trying to unpack this in light of things said on the thread, I'd say this. What I have with my wife of many years remains mindblowingly good for me, and I believe for her. We have grown into new things over the years but all in the context of our monogamous relationship. My wife enjoys the flirtation of colleagues who know me and know what we have together and that kind of frees them to be a little more forward towards her than they might be with a married woman. We enjoy that and understand our boundaries and signal them to others no problem.

My own fantasy stuff comes not at all from frustration or disappointment but rather from my crazy notion of desire to be generous with the sexpertise I have learnt over the years. And it's not gonna happen!

Just my take, and hope it's not too off-thread.

 

[KinkStevens]

Interesting

I remember reading years ago a theory that watching another guy fuck your wife was a sign of repressed homosexual urges.

The husband being unable to act personally on deep seated homosexual urges substitutes his wife for himself.

Don't know that i believe it myself but an interesting theory none the less.

I think very often thats exactly what it is! But some other theories include loving to see one's wife pleasured, the thrill of having someone soo desireable and sexually free, and one is too pyschological for my taste, but it includes some strange competitive instinct where men find their woman more attractive if their fighting to be their cock of choice.

Ive talked to a lot of guys who like the idea of their wife being fucked. Many of them eventually express a desire to clean up, suck the guy, or actual admire or envy their wife and want to be fucked too.

 

[suckonsimon]

I remember reading years ago a theory that watching another guy fuck your wife was a sign of repressed homosexual urges.

The husband being unable to act personally on deep seated homosexual urges substitutes his wife for himself.

Don't know that i believe it myself but an interesting theory none the less.

I think very often thats exactly what it is!
... Ive talked to a lot of guys who like the idea of their wife being fucked. Many of them eventually express a desire to clean up, suck the guy, or actual admire or envy their wife and want to be fucked too.

I'm relating my previous post to what you two are saying: For me, I have no problem with 'owning' the homosexual element of my makeup - finding the male form at its best seriously arousing, envying my wife as regards the pleasure she has sucking me, and at a different level of my psyche loving some of my male friends very profoundly indeed and being happy to tell some of them that - and so there is nothing 'repressed' about it, though I have thus far not chosen to give actual sexual expression to it.
So, I'm thinking, what you two say fits with my having no desire at all to see another man with my wife. ??

 

[XerXesXu]

Would it be an even turn on if this stranger paid a lot of money to fuck your wife?

 

[KinkStevens]

Well

Suckisimon- im not sure what your asking. What I said are things i hear and read. Your drive seems unrelated to the cuckold theory.

 

[KinkStevens]

My case

I want to see my wife with another because the idea of her letting her inhibitions go is exciting. Ive met too many women who were reluctant to share their experiences because they thought it was opening a can of worms when I, on the other hand, am turned on by the openess to talk about them. I want to see people relive their hot moments. To see my wife be a slut for a night would put me over the edge! I don't know about the after effects, so I'm not that disappointed it hadn't happened yet, but the thought drives me crazy with lust.

 

[suckonsimon]

Suckisimon- im not sure what your asking. What I said are things i hear and read. Your drive seems unrelated to the cuckold theory.

My question marks are just a "get what I'm sayin'?" kind of thing. I haven't a question. I'm just reflecting about how it is that some guys just don't have any desire at all for the theme of the thread. But now I'll shut up and let the guys who do have their say!

 

[SlutAddicted]

I remember reading years ago a theory that watching another guy fuck your wife was a sign of repressed homosexual urges.

The husband being unable to act personally on deep seated homosexual urges substitutes his wife for himself.

Don't know that i believe it myself but an interesting theory none the less.

In general I have a hard time making sense of this theory. I expect that there is a notable correlation between men who enjoy watching their wife with other men and being bi-sexual because both require a rather liberated view of sexuality. But correlation is not causation. Besides these days it is more socially acceptable to come out as homosexual than as someone who enjoys watching their wife get fucked so the logic seems backwards.

Of course we are all unique and it is quite likely that this theory does apply to some guys. But any kind of universal application is a nonsensical generalization.....the sort put forward by someone with a judgmental view of anything they deem to be "unnatural" urges.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I might make the case that the necessary perversion and sexual compulsion already exist in us and the idea for it to be directed towards our spouse is actually quite common. It is a powerful source of anxiety and jealousy precisely because we have all considered it and not just as a passing thought.

The primary condition to unbottling these urges is the absence or reduction of jealousy.

In that context I would add my own perspective on jealousy.

It is an almost inevitable by-product of experience that we will be forced to face our jealousies. We get get cheated on or dumped or our "crush" ends up with another guy or we realize that even our faithful and devoted spouse is attracted to others. These events don't neutralize the jealousy but make it less scary and unsettling because we have faced it. Moreover I find the willingness to be deceitful far more unsettling than the simple act of having sex with another man. I would rather be with a slut whom I trust to be honest with me than a woman I don't trust. Nothing is so offensive as being taken for a fool.

My experience is not that which is portrayed in porn. She is not some dumb slut being abused by assholes or desperately seeking that which she can't get at home, but rather a beautiful and sexually open woman who insists on being honest with herself and me.

So does our affinity for this sexual desire increase with time or was it there all along and the barriers get removed or fade away.

 

[KinkStevens]

Articulate

I might make the case that the necessary perversion and sexual compulsion already exist in us and the idea for it to be directed towards our spouse is actually quite common. It is a powerful source of anxiety and jealousy precisely because we have all considered it and not just as a passing thought.

The primary condition to unbottling these urges is the absence or reduction of jealousy.

In that context I would add my own perspective on jealousy.

It is an almost inevitable by-product of experience that we will be forced to face our jealousies. We get get cheated on or dumped or our "crush" ends up with another guy or we realize that even our faithful and devoted spouse is attracted to others. These events don't neutralize the jealousy but make it less scary and unsettling because we have faced it. Moreover I find the willingness to be deceitful far more unsettling than the simple act of having sex with another man. I would rather be with a slut whom I trust to be honest with me than a woman I don't trust. Nothing is so offensive as being taken for a fool.

My experience is not that which is portrayed in porn. She is not some dumb slut being abused by assholes or desperately seeking that which she can't get at home, but rather a beautiful and sexually open woman who insists on being honest with herself and me.

So does our affinity for this sexual desire increase with time or was it there all along and the barriers get removed or fade away.

Well said

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

so we can see here pussy lips clenching his cock, watch her face and enjoy her enjoying the moment with out being distracted with our cocks and own desires

 

[magicalmoments]

In general I have a hard time making sense of this theory. I expect that there is a notable correlation between men who enjoy watching their wife with other men and being bi-sexual because both require a rather liberated view of sexuality. But correlation is not causation. Besides these days it is more socially acceptable to come out as homosexual than as someone who enjoys watching their wife get fucked so the logic seems backwards.

Of course we are all unique and it is quite likely that this theory does apply to some guys. But any kind of universal application is a nonsensical generalization.....the sort put forward by someone with a judgmental view of anything they deem to be "unnatural" urges.

I agree with you. I believe it is the product of a more repressed age, and we're only talking 40-50 years ago. I like your line, 'correlation is not causation', says it in a nutshell.

 

[SlutAddicted]

I agree with you. I believe it is the product of a more repressed age, and we're only talking 40-50 years ago. I like your line, 'correlation is not causation', says it in a nutshell.

I always find it interesting the way in which most of us are quite aware of the complexities and contradictions within ourselves but chose to see others in very simplistic terms. We frequently fail to see other individuals as equally complex and even, against all reason, attribute identical characteristics to all members of a given group.

When it comes to this particular topic much of the commentary often focuses on a bunch of spurious assumptions. The size of the other man's cock, the sufficiency of the sex life at home, the perceived humiliation, the dominance of the other man or the premise that the wife is being used or disrespected are all assumptions taken from ridiculous porn portrayals. Sometimes when the discussion is around specific terminology - hot wife, cuckold - some people make the case that these things are implied in the definition of that terminology. But in this case the question is more straight forward and only addresses "watching other men fuck our women".

One of the first steps to understanding any alternative viewpoint is to reconsider our own reference points. There are as many different perspectives on this activity as there are men who enjoy it and not all of us buy into the paradigms of monogamous marriage. The intensity with which anyone feels about these values and the degree to which we have been indoctrinated in them does not make them universal.

There are societies existing today in which basic hospitality involves allowing a guest to share the wife's bed. They aren't suppressing anything. This has been their tradition for centuries. I am not suggesting that someone who grew up in a traditional western society is going to just decide one day that the Inuit traditions are better and his jealousy will fall away like his wife's panties. But I am suggesting that western society's attitudes are a function of conditioning, not hard-wiring. And therefore it is not only plausible but highly likely that some of the things that our insular society takes as involuble are in fact entirely optional.

 

[Hipshot1554]

Don't really know if I can explain why per se but I have observed that a few things happen with some men as they mature.

Men start to realize the fundamental contradiction in the way that they have normally chosen women. The only difference between the dirty girl and the good girl is that the good girl lacks sexual desire or has been intimidated into suppressing it. Either way that doesn't make for a good marital sex life.

As men age they sometimes come to recognize the fundamentally untrue assumptions on which they have built much of their sexual relationships. It isn't true that women need to be in love to enjoy sex. Women obviously have more capacity to engage in sex and attract members of the opposite sex. We don't see sex as better or worse in the extreme way that guys imagine but rather enjoy variety. The idea that "if she was being satisfied at home she wouldn't go elsewhere" is nonsense bravado. Sexual experience doesn't leave us soiled or stretched out or used up any more than it does a man - but it does give us a better and more mature perspective. In this day and age if a woman enjoys sex she has probably sampled lots of men before marriage and expecting her to have not done so is actually quite self-serving and narrow-minded.

It used to be that society compelled men to never drop their delusions or equate lack of sexual desire in women with virtue. A lot of those factors are substantially weakened in today's world. If a man's delusions fall away and he starts to see women more honestly he comes to realize that he applied the wrong criteria to a selection of mate - perceived virtue becomes just another societal assumption and lack of interest in other men becomes a symptom of total lack of interest. And the idea of living your whole life with a woman disinterested in sex isn't very appealing.

At the same time as all the old tropes about virtue and exclusivity start to seem less relevant or outright false the "value" of a woman who is interested in sex becomes higher. You can observe the same in men who get remarried. Not to say that the second wife will be a slut but chances are that the man applies significantly different selection criteria that don't rely on the delusional idealism and fragile egos of young men.

Men are inundated with the notion that women are less interested in sex and that their own male desires are somewhat "wrong". The slut wife is the ultimate representation of a woman who doesn't see it that way but has intense sexual desire. Her willingness to defy all convention and endure negative judgment is proof of her sexuality. And after a decade or two of boring sex with women chosen intentionally for their lack of interest or openness to sex the slut starts to look awfully good.

This makes a lot of sense.