dear dog diaries

[neci]

dear dog,

i know this has already been done. i just can't remember when.

love,

the cat

 

[smoothg103rd]

Dear dog.

Cats are the devil.

 

[thør]

I AM A DOG

As you can doubtless tell, dear friends, my canines are so long and pointed they barely fit into my mouth. I know this gives me a menacing appearance, but it pleases me. Noticing the size of my teeth, a butcher once had the gall to say, My God, that's no dog at all, it's a wild boar!

I bit him so hard on the leg that my canines sank right through his fatty flesh to the hardness of his thighbone. For a dog, you see, nothing is as satisfying as sinking his teeth into his miserable enemy in a fit of instinctual wrath. When such an opportunity presents itself, that is, when my victim, who deserves to be bitten, stupidly and unknowingly passes by, my teeth twinge and ache in anticipation, my head spins with longing and without even meaning to, I emit a hair-raising growl.

In case you missed it.

 

[Aglaopheme]

Dear dog

Quit eyeballing me we're not ready to go to bed yet.

If you'd quit shedding your white hair on my peacock blue calf skin rug that would be a bonus.

Smooches

The gal that saved you

 

[neci]

In case you missed it.

ha! i had missed it.

a biter. eh?

 

[thør]

ha! i had missed it.

a biter. eh?

it was written by a Turk. You know how Turks can be.

 

[neci]

dear dog.

i know you are getting old. i only make jokes about you dying, so i can cope with the fact you are not going to be around forever.

 

[neci]

it was written by a Turk. You know how Turks can be.

i had no idea turks were biters.

 

[thør]

i had no idea turks were biters.

Read the whole story to see who the real biters were.

Link to a pdf

But the dog is a good guy.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Dear dog,

The cat set you up for the cookie caper. You got punished but I got the cookies.
So thanks for falling for it.

Luv,

Birdy

 

[thør]

Dear dog,

The cat set you up for the cookie caper. You got punished but I got the cookies.
So thanks for falling for it.

Luv,

Birdy

2 minutes for instigation!

 

[parodyluvr75]

I did it all for the cookie.

 

[thør]

I did it all for the cookie.

I'm sure you did. How long have you been addicted to 'the cookie'?

 

[Not Normal]

Dear Dogmarts,

You are missed and loved.

Pets,
Your Boy