I Have a Scene but Not the Rest of the Story

[HonorableRogue]

The scene is a bachelor party.

The stripper shows up. Dances. Starts oral sex on the groom. When he's close she asks if he wants to finish in her mouth or her ass. They banter about the third choice but she limits him to the two she offered.

He picks ass.

She pulls the back of her underwear down and he starts while his friends cheer him on. Then she pulls the front down and all the grooms friends realize she's a shemale.

Clearly this is someone with a grudge against the groom but can't map out the larger story construct. The setup won't come unforced and not sure where to go after without being predictable.

Cheers

 

[hashtag45]

What if the person who held a grudge was a former jilted lover or one-night stand?
But the twist is, even though he treated her badly, he doesn't remember her (he was drunk at the time, or just a serial dater) and now she looks hot after a makeover? She must be someone that he knows, though.

After the bachelor party, he is in a perpetual state of shame and worry about being found out, but the pranks and threats of exposure keep coming. (the former jilted lover continues to enjoy her revenge and power under the blanket of anonimity). He starts to suspect that the prankster is female, but he has trouble narrowing it down from 4 or 5 suspects.

He eventually discovers the identity of the prankster and decides to turn the tables on her. However, even though planned as a revenge, their arranged encounter evolves towards an erotic one and they fall for each other.

And eventually, he leaves his bride-to be and hooks up with his former lover.

 

[MatthewVett]

I mean, if someone gave me a blowjob and then had me finish in her ass, my first thought wouldn't be, "Curses! This person must hate me, to commit such an act of vengeance upon me!" If the groom's friends already know, presumably her options for blackmail are sort of limited. He has a bunch of witnesses who'll presumably say that nothing happened, or, if their dicks, spread it themselves. I feel like it'd work better if she took him somewhere private and was able to realistically record it, and then she blackmailed him with that.

I guess one possibility for her identity is someone he knew from gradeschool that he always teased. Like how Maury has "ugly ducklings" meet up with their former tormentors? That sort of thing might be a realistic set up. Once she starts blackmailing him, though, I don't know where it'd go.

 

[hashtag45]

ADDIT.

I'll name the protagonist 'John'.
The blackmailer -called Ann- is the sister of his best friend Dan.

Dan and John met in College and continued their friendship throughout Uni. They are from different towns, and John visitted Dan's hometown & stayed at Dan's parents for one day, during their freshman's school break.
Dan and John spent that night at the Casino, and John had a passionate encounter there (with or without sex,2 options) with a mysterious stranger. He had to leave the next day, and unfortunately he did not have a chance to meet Dan's sister Ann, who was attending college in a different town. Ann was in fact the mysterious stranger, and having recognised him, she avoided meeting him the next day.

Over the years John's 'adventure at the casino' served as a prop for many jokes between John and Dan, to Ann's immense irritation (Dan used to tell his sister everything).

Fast-forward week of the wedding, 5 years later. Ann flies over either in order to help her brother Dan or because her boyfriend is one of the groom's friends.

Ann thought initially that she put the whole thing behind her, but, to her immense annoyance, Dan tells her that John had started gossiping about their misadventure, in front of all his bachelor friends. And one of those bachelors is Ann's boyfriend. The last drop for her was that she realised that John had made up a lot of ludicrous stuff about their encounter. So she decides to have her revenge by humiliating him in front of all his bachelor friends.

How does John figure out it was her, in the end? Dan was John's confidant, so they both tried to work together to catch the blackmailer in the act. But John starts to realise that the blackmailer was one step ahead. As if she knew. So he asks Dan if he told anyone their secret. Initially Dan says no, but then he confesses that he told his sister a few things.

PS
I hope I did not ramble too much, sorry. But I enjoyed the OP's idea.

 

[sunandshadow]

Maybe the bride didn't want her groom having sex with another woman, but she thought a ladyboy was ok because she has a fetish for them and was interested in the possibility of sharing one with her husband in the future, so she secretly arranged for the stripper at the bachelor party?

 

[Sean Renaud]

I have to agree with Matt. When my stripper offers me mouth or ass to finish my last thoughts are "oh god I dun goofed" though I'd probably opt for mouth if I was actually anywhere near close. It also heavily deals with how attractive the shemale is. I'm not even going to pretend that if Scarlett Johanson dropped trou and had a dick my response wouldn't be closer to "well that's a surprise. . .now bend over bitch." instead of tossing my cookies all over the place. Then again I'd wreck Johnny Depp if I had a chance so maybe the problem lies with me personally and normal guys would react slightly less favorably.

The scene is great by the way. I think your best route for the story is actually following how the groom enjoys it and keeps hooking up with her starting an affair literally before his wedding even happens. The toughy is where do you place this story. I'd probably go with cross dressers and trannies. (Though somehow I've always felt that was one of the oddest categories. There is a world of difference between chicks with dicks and dudes in dresses. They are just slightly more related than Transfromers movies and Transporter movies. I mean they both have cars and the first five letters but the similiarities end about there!

 

[Iceprincess12]

I have to agree with Matt. When my stripper offers me mouth or ass to finish my last thoughts are "oh god I dun goofed" though I'd probably opt for mouth if I was actually anywhere near close. It also heavily deals with how attractive the shemale is. I'm not even going to pretend that if Scarlett Johanson dropped trou and had a dick my response wouldn't be closer to "well that's a surprise. . .now bend over bitch." instead of tossing my cookies all over the place. Then again I'd wreck Johnny Depp if I had a chance so maybe the problem lies with me personally and normal guys would react slightly less favorably.

The scene is great by the way. I think your best route for the story is actually following how the groom enjoys it and keeps hooking up with her starting an affair literally before his wedding even happens. The toughy is where do you place this story. I'd probably go with cross dressers and trannies. (Though somehow I've always felt that was one of the oddest categories. There is a world of difference between chicks with dicks and dudes in dresses. They are just slightly more related than Transfromers movies and Transporter movies. I mean they both have cars and the first five letters but the similiarities end about there!

Sean, I love how you will take any opportunity to publically bend a male movie star over, ream him repeatedly and never blink an eye. I know you want Jason Statham too

The premise of this story doesn't seem very amazing or exciting but I agree with sunandshadow that it should turn out to be the bride. She could secretly be a dominatrix and this is one of her fantasies, to see her husband used by another guy. Not sure how long or involved you want it to be.

If you want to go with blackmail, I would have him go through with it. After the party when the other guys leave, the stripper comes back and he needs some cajoling but they eventually have sex. The blackmailer can turn out to be a guy in his past that made a drunken pass at him, he rejected it, humiliated him and now the revenge is that he is married but has these overwhelming desires for a man.

 

[hotjimmy]

the shemale could be an old girlfriend who he dumped so she plans revenge on him. she even becomes friends with his wife and starts seducing her. he becomes more turned on by the shemale and cant resist lusting after her and wants to fuck her but she keeps denying him and teasing him

 

[Sean Renaud]

Sean, I love how you will take any opportunity to publically bend a male movie star over, ream him repeatedly and never blink an eye. I know you want Jason Statham too

The premise of this story doesn't seem very amazing or exciting but I agree with sunandshadow that it should turn out to be the bride. She could secretly be a dominatrix and this is one of her fantasies, to see her husband used by another guy. Not sure how long or involved you want it to be.

If you want to go with blackmail, I would have him go through with it. After the party when the other guys leave, the stripper comes back and he needs some cajoling but they eventually have sex. The blackmailer can turn out to be a guy in his past that made a drunken pass at him, he rejected it, humiliated him and now the revenge is that he is married but has these overwhelming desires for a man.

Statham? Not a chance in the world. Stewart Townsend or James Marsters however and. . .well don't come looking for me you know where I'll be until after the devil is giving sleigh rides.

 

[Everyday_Man]

- Start off with the groom making love to his soon to be wife the morning of bachelor party

- meets up with friends, go to strip club, talks to best man whose put this all together

- best man makes sure his friends don't let groom have lap dances (they promised his wife he'd be on his best behavior) while the groom loves his to be wife, he is a party guy and this is getting on his nerves, he wants to join the fun

- best man gets him drunk, maybe points out how hot some of the strippers are and what they are willing to do in the private rooms, maybe they sneak a peek, they leave, groom a little pissed he didn't get a lap dance at the very least, but the best man promises the fun isn’t over

- they arrive at a rented hotel suite where the party continues, only now the best man introduces 'pros' to the party where things get real crazy, some live sex, more booze, groom is getting riled up from plenty of teasing, but no action

- best man pulls the groom into a private room (the groom is wasted by this time and has been thinking of going home to fuck his bride to be into a coma) and leaves him with a stripper as a special treat and since no one is there to watch, they can't lie to the girlfriend about what he chooses to do

- dance, touchy feely, etc. .... after their romp the shemale is revealed and the best man comes in, and lets the groom know he was secretly recording the situation

- turns out that the best man and the groom met the to be bride at the same time (it was no secret and the best man bowed out gracefully when she shows the current groom) but he really never got over it, considering her the love of his life (he’s a bit crazy, how can he not be)

maybe during the night you toss in some conversation between the best man & groom that lets everyone know they both knew the bride to be so it doesn’t come as a complete surprise, make the best man's words show he holds a grudge/still has feelings, but be subtle, so you get the hint, but the groom thinks nothing of it, harmless jokes, things like that .... maybe some flashbacks of that time


That's just some backstory, after that you go where you want ... best man blackmails him ... the best man & the shemale at the same time, separately ... shemale falls for the groom & helps him get out of his predicament ... whatever ....

 

[Iceprincess12]

Statham? Not a chance in the world. Stewart Townsend or James Marsters however and. . .well don't come looking for me you know where I'll be until after the devil is giving sleigh rides.

Townsend and Marsters...if I saw a picture I would probably know who they are, but I don't know them by name.

You are the groom, admit it .
One day you will fall out of the closet and be so disappointed that no one gives it a second thought.

I'll take Statham and Jensen Ackles...too bad for you, I claimed Dean first

 

[Sean Renaud]

You know I'll cut a bitch over Jensen without thinking twice right? You can have everybody else on that cast not named Crowley. I'm going to find a way to make blankets out of his voice.

 

[Iceprincess12]

You know I'll cut a bitch over Jensen without thinking twice right? You can have everybody else on that cast not named Crowley. I'm going to find a way to make blankets out of his voice.

Too late, I claimed him first. While I am here...Damon (Ian Somerhalder) is mine too

I know that makes your balls ache

 

[Sean Renaud]

Like I said, cut a bitch. I can spare Damon. I'm not that attached. You start sniffing around Klaus and I can't promise the safety of your friends and family though. Some shit does require venegeance first, last and always.

 

[Iceprincess12]

Like I said, cut a bitch. I can spare Damon. I'm not that attached. You start sniffing around Klaus and I can't promise the safety of your friends and family though. Some shit does require venegeance first, last and always.

Klaus?? Eeks, I wouldn't touch him...ever.

Vin Diesel is mine, I know you are ok with him. Idris Elba-so sexy! Keanu Reeves and...we haven't discussed him before but Kratos . All mine!

Maybe your story can turn into a fight for the groom. The jilted bride who loves him and will forgive him vs the stripper who finally found a man who would accept him as he is. (Bride should win)

 

[HonorableRogue]

I guess considering my scence I shouldn't be surprised the thread devolved into man love arguments!

Thanks for the input so far.

Some of the ideas for the grudge holding protagonist I had were:
- Guy he was horrible to in high school but eventually made up with(at least in the groom's mind). If I want a longer story the guy will get back at the entire group that tortured him through high school.
- Brother of the bride that learned the groom has been cheating on his sister. Clearly I either go the noble route with this one or see if I want to spin the incest angle into it.
- Bride's last boy friend or as was suggested Bride's almost boy friend (almost in the protagonist's mind). Straight up revenge and twisted hope for his own happy ending.

Or, as popped into my head while writing this, I can go for the M. Knight gotcha and when the bride walks into the room after the former tortured high school grudge holder calls her she looks at the stripper and says something like "Oh honey can I fuck her ass when you're done" and all eyes are drawn to the growning buldge in the front of her dress.

I'll let all ideas so far percolate for a couple of days and see what, if anything, bubbles to the top.

Cheers

 

[Sean Renaud]

Sorry, didn't mean to threadjack. Not that I don't do it but I'm usually on topic so I apologize.

 

[HonorableRogue]

LOL No worries. It's not like you General Forumed me.

And for the record Jensen Ackles is way too pretty. Just like Chris Evans. Neither would do well in prison but both would do better than Mr. Depp.

Cheers

 

[Zeb_Carter]

So, if "she's" a shemale, how in the world, as some suggested could "she" be an old jilted girlfriend? If you don't know what a shemale is, google it.

The "guy" was a high school classmate. "He" was the butt of many of a joke of the crowd that the groom hung with. "He" had always known that "he" was trapped in a male body. "He" had fallen in love with the groom in their senior year, but the groom had rebuffed "him" calling him a queer and much nastier names.

"He" after graduating college with honors traveled to Sweden on a sabbatical where "he" realized his dream to become a woman. "He" started the process to become "her" returned to the US and saw that the groom was getting married and with "his" new look offered to be the stripper.

Take it from there.

 

[hashtag45]

So, if "she's" a shemale, how in the world, as some suggested could "she" be an old jilted girlfriend?

I was referring to the person who orchestrated the whole thing Not the shemale. Easy to figure out if one reads past the first sentence.

If you don't know what a shemale is, google it.

If you have nothing constructive to say, refrain from making 'General-Board'-type of comments.

 

[Everyday_Man]

I was referring to the person who orchestrated the whole thing Not the shemale. Easy to figure out if one reads past the first sentence.



If you have nothing constructive to say, refrain from making 'General-Board'-type of comments.

Zeb Carter, you just got 'generalized' .... in all fairness, the description of the shemale bride, the hooker & the bullied high school kid wasn't written very clear. You had to figure it out based on the ENTIRE scenario thus far ... I think Zeb was asking him to write it out more clearly with a dickish tone, but instead of asking, he just pointed out the flaw in the wording (better to state clearly though).

 

[hashtag45]

Zeb Carter, you just got 'generalized' .... in all fairness, the description of the shemale bride, the hooker & the bullied high school kid wasn't written very clear. You had to figure it out based on the ENTIRE scenario thus far ... I think Zeb was asking him to write it out more clearly with a dickish tone, but instead of asking, he just pointed out the flaw in the wording (better to state clearly though).

Sorry, I get quite defensive when it comes to my english skills (a few people attributed my mistakes to/ and assumed that I am an illiterate bum, rather than english as a 2nd language) .

If that is the case, I retract my comments.

 

[Sean Renaud]

Honestly hssh you must come across a lot of hardcore pricks. Like a good number of people who have English as a second language your English is in general better than most of ours. Sure you might be slightly technical in your word choice like very few native English speakers would say or write this.

PS
I hope I did not ramble too much, sorry. But I enjoyed the OP's idea.

Most of us would say didn't and while I haven't read every word you've written on here I can remember a few other times mostly with contractions where I thought 'hmmm that's the kind of word choice an alien overlord posing as a human would make!" But it's because it's super perfect and we don't talk that way.

Otherwise honestly if you'd never mentioned that English wasn't your first language I'd just assume you had a college professor for a parent who didn't like contractions. My parents both give me shit for asking "how come" instead of "why" and I have to make an effort not to scream when people say "I did good" instead of "I did well."

I know that got long winded but there is a point which is I get that lot of people lack the confidence to write their own stories. They think their English isn't up to snuff, they think their creativity is garbage, this that or the other. I could give you the speech about how we all stumble before we fly, I could link you to some stories I've written that I only leave up because I think it's important as a testament of how far I've come and also that my worst story is one that a magazine reading through Lit paid me money to put in their magazine. So there is something to be said for the fact that Twilight made more money than Shawshank Redemption or Citizen Kane. Your English is not let me repeat IS FUCKING NOT bad by any standard other than writing a college paper for review. What you mean is clear, your grammar is fine as far as I can tell so don't let that discourage you at all.

 

[sr71plt]

Since you already have a shemale in the mix, I'd make the surprise ending hook of this be that the shemale was arranged by the presumed bride to be as a juss iff after she found out that her erstwhile groom to be swung both ways.

 

[Bramblethorn]

She pulls the back of her underwear down and he starts while his friends cheer him on. Then she pulls the front down and all the grooms friends realize she's a shemale.

Real life, trans women get murdered in situations like this, and no trans woman with one iota of survival instinct is going to pull a stunt like that. Too many violent transphobes out there.