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butters said:
quite so :cool: the wheelbarrow, silhouetted by the setting sun, can only be used so many times before - yanno - cliché-ville.


*spits coffee* you plonker :D :rose:
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Fuck-ing wheelbarrow!

I've got another chapter!

You're a genius. Now I have to work in a swarm of invading slugs...
 
Recidiva said:
Okay. Now I'm resisting the urge to scream and stomp on things.

Some slugs are cuter.
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actually, i don't mind these ones so much as the slimy icky little bag-of-guts things. these are pretty big, and i've had them in yellow, orange and brown with bright orange skirt frills and splashes of blue. and to be fair, it's really more a case of their damned slime on my hands i loathe. snails are good, pretty shells and i can pick them up by those, but i don't really even mind them sitting on my hand. i love it when their little eyes come out on stalks and take a peek :D
 
butters said:
actually, i don't mind these ones so much as the slimy icky little bag-of-guts things. these are pretty big, and i've had them in yellow, orange and brown with bright orange skirt frills and splashes of blue. and to be fair, it's really more a case of their damned slime on my hands i loathe. snails are good, pretty shells and i can pick them up by those, but i don't really even mind them sitting on my hand. i love it when their little eyes come out on stalks and take a peek :D
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Reminds me of a spider in Florida with spiky things that made me not want to pick oranges.

I'd find a picture...but Fata is here and I don't want to die in the crossfire.
 
In the paper the other week a woman bought some red grapes from Asda and there were black widows in 'em. Don't tell me fucking fruit is good for you. 5 a day my arse.
 
Fata Morgana said:
In the paper the other week a woman bought some red grapes from Asda and there were black widows in 'em. Don't tell me fucking fruit is good for you. 5 a day my arse.
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Yeah, we had those in Florida too...

All over the screens, Ulaven had to take a torch to them while I hid.
 
butters said:
well now, looks as if they're spaniards,the flashy bastards :D
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I was about to say calling them "killer slugs" sounds a bit extreme, but apparently they eat almost everything and reproduce like slimy Tribbles so I guess I get it.

The spiders. Ai ya.

I did not know that Florida also has wild panthers (well, barely at this point). Which means panther kitten. Just gonna run that through the old brain-pan a few times and get the spiny orb-weaver out of there.
 
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CyranoJ said:
I was about to say calling them "killer slugs" sounds a bit extreme, but apparently they eat almost everything and reproduce like slimy Tribbles so I guess I get it.

The spiders. Ai ya.

I did not know that Florida also has wild panthers (well, barely at this point). Which means panther kitten. Just gonna run that through the old brain-pan a few times and get the spiny orb-weaver out of there.
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There are also warnings to keep your windows closed at night so things like wild boa constrictors don't eat your children.
 
Fata Morgana said:
Good god. It looks like a spider delivering a pizza.
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omg! it so does :D

flippin' hell, almost 5 hours straight on the garden - i think i kind of won, but it put up a good fight *looks at my arms covered in scratches*. there is half less a hedge and certain branches are gone and a huge bush is half-decapitated... no2 son'll have to tackle the rest. oh lord. *prays for the plants he's not to touch*

rose bubble bath running. i'm pooped. :cool:
 
I'll just leave this here.


Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse,
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)

Now I surely will not plague you,
With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak;
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, smiles, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpromene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And endeavour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll, and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge, and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post, and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate, and sedate;
Dull, bull and George ate late.

Scenic Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target,gin,give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
Is a paling stout and spikey?

Wont it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?

It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict, and indict.

Finally which rhymes with enough,
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!


After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he’d prefer six months of hard labor to reading six lines aloud.

This showed up on my facebook feed and I though it clever.
 
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