Memorable Characters

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'LL BE OUTTA JAIL BEFORE YOURE OUTTA THE HOSPITAL, MOTHER FUCKER, is the title of a story I'm writing.

"Frankie Bee," the main character, was a guy I worked with 40 years ago. He was about the biggest man I ever met. Sitting in a chair he was taller than most men, standing. And he wasn't polite and sensitive. He called all the black employees 'coons' to their faces. But he was all sweetness and manners with his 5-2 wife, Marilyn. Marilyn knew how to kick Frankie's ass, and had done it.

I've been wanting a character to build a series around, and Frankie is the one. He's racist, a homo hater, and loves to torment fat lesbians, he calls all of them Jackie Gleason or Hermann Goering. Everyone else he calls MOTHER FUCKER or COON or PENCIL NECK.

Oughta guarantee plenty of RED H's.

 

[lovecraft68]

So another words...you're writing yourself into your stories.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

So another words...you're writing yourself into your stories.

Youll never recognize me in public. I invented nice. I invented polite. I invented good manners. And the crucified my twin, Jesus.

 

[lovecraft68]

Youll never recognize me in public. I invented nice. I invented polite. I invented good manners. And the crucified my twin, Jesus.

Just because you invented it doesn't mean you practice it.

My wife's aunt and her sisters are the nicest, sweetest older ladies you'll ever meet. They are deeply religious as well. Whenever we visit I always watch my mouth and never swear or say anything sarcastic.

They tell my mother in law "He's the nicest guy"

She then says, "Wait we're talking about my son in law, right?"

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

http://i948.photobucket.com/albums/ad322/zebjacket/P7279847.jpg



A 1948 SPARTAN 'IMPERIAL'. 36 FEET LONG. FRANKIE GUTTED IT AND PUT A REAL BATHROOM AT THE ASS END, A BEDROOM IN THE MIDDLE, AND A MULTIPURPOSE AREA AT THE FRONT.

 

[lovecraft68]

Holy crap that tin can must be 150 degrees in the summer.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

Holy crap that tin can must be 150 degrees in the summer.

Not in Alaska on the north slope. Might be a little cold in June though.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Holy crap that tin can must be 150 degrees in the summer.

Try building a ship some time. Youll feel heat and cold you had no idea existed.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Like most American men I was a pussified guy force-fed lentils, quiche, soy milk, and tofu for decades, and then accidentally served raw meat by an illegal Mickey D burger flipper. My reaction was akin to PTSD in reverse. In less time than a New York minute I knew asses were made for fucking or kicking, and not for kissing. I even replaced all my Bruce Jenner posters with Bruce Jenner posters. Frankie Bee.

 

[lovecraft68]

Like most American men I was a pussified guy force-fed lentils, quiche, soy milk, and tofu for decades, and then accidentally served raw meat by an illegal Mickey D burger flipper. My reaction was akin to PTSD in reverse. In less time than a New York minute I knew asses were made for fucking or kicking, and not for kissing. I even replaced all my Bruce Jenner posters with Bruce Jenner posters. Frankie Bee.

Look at you quoting your own characters...

Oh, wait I did the same thing in my sig.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Frankie is sure to find new scoring depths here.

 

[lovecraft68]

Frankie is sure to find new scoring depths here.

You should create Frankie as a poster in the GB

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You should create Frankie as a poster in the GB

He can fight with Libby Loon.

 

[R. Richard]

sigh, "I'LL BE OUTTA JAIL BEFORE YOURE OUTTA THE HOSPITAL, MOTHER FUCKER"

Motherfucker, also known as ghetto rhetoric, is a single, four syllable word.