The trouble with switching...

[SwitchMaster]

...is finding someone to play with. Of course, that's the trouble in the vanilla world too. Our unique problem is that twue dominants don't want to mess with us, twue submissives think we're inexperienced and that only leaves us each other.

I'm looking for a female switch who would like to explore her sexuality on both sides. Alternatively, I'd be happy to play with a budding domme or sub who wants to learn the ropes. Sadistic, superior dommes or "Twue" anything need not apply.

Looking to start online first and see where it goes.

 

[ChefLife24]

I've had the same problems. Good luck!

 

[Wordsworth]

...is finding someone to play with. Of course, that's the trouble in the vanilla world too. Our unique problem is that twue Dominants don't want to mess with us, twue submissives think we're inexperienced and that only leaves us each other.

I'm looking for a female switch who would like to explore her sexuality on both sides. Alternatively, I'd be happy to play with a budding Domme or sub who wants to learn the ropes. Sadistic, superior Dommes or "Twue" anything need not apply.

Looking to start online first and see where it goes.

FYP

Wouldn't want any twue Domly Doms or subbly subs to catch you making a protocol error!

In all seriousness, I think that if your dynamic never changes depending on the energies and inclinations that the other person brings to the table, something is less than twue.

There are people that lean heavily one way or the other and may select, consciously or unconsciously for those that only bring out their Dominant or submissive side.

Many sexual submissives are fairly take charge in some aspect of their lives whether it be family or work and find it a respite to submit. I assume that there are Dominants that way that appear pretty compliant in their day to day lives but are strongly dominant in the bedroom to experience another facet of themselves. I haven't seen that, but it seems it should be so.

 

[Tech_Director]

And the trouble with some Switches is that they're equally as condescending as they perceive the "twue" Dominants and "twue" submissives to be.

 

[SwitchMaster]

There are people that lean heavily one way or the other and may select, consciously or unconsciously for those that only bring out their Dominant or submissive side.

Many sexual submissives are fairly take charge in some aspect of their lives whether it be family or work and find it a respite to submit. I assume that there are Dominants that way that appear pretty compliant in their day to day lives but are strongly dominant in the bedroom to experience another facet of themselves. I haven't seen that, but it seems it should be so.

That's been my (considerable) experience. Because of the nature of my work, I have to be in charge all the time. Some of the people under me don't want me telling them what to do. It took me many years to work out how to get the best out of everyone by giving each one of them the boss that they need. Some need a hard-ass, some need a coach, some need a psychiatrist. It has been my job to give each one exactly what they need to get the best out of them. It's exhausting and I really enjoy bottoming as an escape.

That said, I am more than happy to take the dominant role in the bedroom, and I do 90% of the time. When I bottom though, it's like a Chinese menu. The top is free to pick anything from the menu but not make it up as they go along. Because of that, I've been accused of "topping from the bottom" and some think that's a no-no. That's why I chose the name that I did.

I may be new to lit but I'm not new to BDSM or its lingo. I've lurked here for years and the big turn-off I see, and there's a great example of it going on right now on the BDSM board, is that some doms seem to think that a sub is not allowed to express anything other than a slavish devotion and willingness to please with no thought whatsoever to their own physical pleasure. A dom must take no crap from a sub and must not allow a sub to voice any preferences whatsoever or they aren't "real".

I don't see that as being realistic or even healthy. What I have seen over and over is that these folks seem to think that they are superior to everyone else. To them, the rest of us are wannabes or people playing games.

There was a time when the thought of bottoming made me nauseous. I was 100% dom with no doubt about it. As I've matured, I've realized that the world isn't black-and-white... for me. If it is for you, then that's great. Just don't pretend to be superior to me because of it.

 

[SwitchMaster]

I've had the same problems. Good luck!

Thanks ArmyGirl. I considered replying to your thread but I'm slightly older (43) than what you're looking for and I didn't want to be a dick. On a side note, I was a 93B with C Co., 1/25th Aviation Brigade, 25th infantry div.

Scouts Out!

 

[ViciousTease]

Bumping you back to the top. Good luck in your search.

 

[hakuna_patata]

Couldn't help but make this my first post, I better touch my foot to the water at some point!

This is something I've encountered before and came across today from a Domme's profile on another website. I believe the colorful way She put it was an emphatic "No" to all switches, that they "can't have their cake and eat it, too", suggesting that switches are some kind of self-centered hedonists that won't take the good with the bad (whatever that could mean).

Even so, I understand and can empathize with those who can't connect with a switch or have purist views. Switches might top and bottom with the same people, and that can throw off how a Dom/me or sub sees them. As a sub, I can see how some of us will see that powerful, confident boss who knows how to take charge turn around and grovel and submit to the next boss on everything; it can look demeaning and destroy that image.

Personally, I see interpersonal experiences and social hierarchy always at work, something we goes through, BDSM or vanilla. We give and we take. It's natural for someone to carry that with them into BDSM and not purely take or give (though that is the excitement, isn't it?). So switching is taboo for some, yet I don't see how something natural to us should become taboo in a taboo world.