Dominant vs. "Doms"

[GIRLonFIRE44]

This is a bit of a personal and also an observation. I LOVE a dominant male. I mean I literally can't resist that. But so many "Doms" are just not naturally dominant. I guess that's role play, right?

 

[RawHumor]

Online, a lot of the clueless dom wannabes think that calling themselves a dom is an easy way to get women and gives them a sense of entitlement (e.g. you need to kneel, bitch!).

Also, some people who are dominant outside the bedroom are submissive inside, and some who aren't as dominant outside the bedroom are very dominant inside.

 

[GIRLonFIRE44]

Yes... it is very scripted. And it becomes apparent after talking to a handful of these people that they are all running from the same script.

Online, a lot of the clueless dom wannabes think that calling themselves a dom is an easy way to get women and gives them a sense of entitlement (e.g. you need to kneel, bitch!).

Also, some people who are dominant outside the bedroom are submissive inside, and some who aren't as dominant outside the bedroom are very dominant inside.

 

[sybarite_1]

Online, a lot of the clueless dom wannabes think that calling themselves a dom is an easy way to get women and gives them a sense of entitlement (e.g. you need to kneel, bitch!).

Also, some people who are dominant outside the bedroom are submissive inside, and some who aren't as dominant outside the bedroom are very dominant inside.

Which are you?

 

[SubduedSubDude]

Basically what you're saying is that you want a MAN who is secure and can take care of you. You don't want a Dom role, you want a man. You will never find a real, secure MAN if you ask for a Dom. You'll find a character.

 

[GIRLonFIRE44]

Yes... that is a good way to put it.

Basically what you're saying is that you want a MAN who is secure and can take care of you. You don't want a Dom role, you want a man. You will never find a real, secure MAN if you ask for a Dom. You'll find a character.

 

[YAK411976]

I agree. It's about confidence. Too many think from means just bossing a girl about in a demeaning manner rather than in an intelligent arousing way.

 

[LWulf]

This is a concept of metaphysics that never really appealed to me. Mostly because it deals with a people's opinions opposed to a rule or defined context.

Some people think to be dominant is to walk with a swagger, how long a dick you pull out of your pants to then slap down on a table and demand fealty for being the biggest dick.

Some people think it's whoever yells the loudest and argues the most that determines the most dominant. "I win because I said the last word loudest!"

While, to me, a dominant is simply a person who plays to their own fiddle. They don't react so much as act. They don't wait to see what others are doing before doing something themselves. A dominant personality isn't one that gives in easily to contrariness, but they are a fool if they aren't self-effacing or self-aware.

You can always see how well a person will know how to lead, by seeing how well they can follow. If they have no respect while they follow, how can they legitimately expect respect when they lead?

 

[GIRLonFIRE44]

I agree with most of that LWulf. Knowing what you want and going after it is key. As is confidence. It is not a dick size contest for sure. That's a whole different thing in itself. LoL. I think I prefer natural leaders.

 

[just4friends]

just wondering...

I agree with most of that LWulf. Knowing what you want and going after it is key. As is confidence. It is not a dick size contest for sure. That's a whole different thing in itself. LoL. I think I prefer natural leaders.

Can a "MAN" also be secure enough in his "manliness" to allow his lady to get all she wants as well?? Women are capable of doing things for themselves... or to men... that he might want.

 

[SubduedSubDude]

Can a "MAN" also be secure enough in his "manliness" to allow his lady to get all she wants as well?? Women are capable of doing things for themselves... or to men... that he might want.

That requires communication on both sides to obtain. It's similar to the question, can a woman be a damsel in distress and at the same time an independent woman who is confident in life?

Most of the time, we don't find out what our partner truly is until it's way too late. That's life, unfortunately.

 

[Prince Albert]

I agree with a lot that has been said here. It comes down to what you want the other person to be and how they can "play" that role.

 

[ShyGuy1855]

I think it is probably the right mix of confidence, sensuality and intelligence. Like others have said, you don't want a horny guy that is just running from a script. I'm no expert, but it is largely a mental eroticism and not just being ordered around.

 

[GIRLonFIRE44]

Yes...exacty. And this kind of man is very hard to find. But hopefully hard when I find him.

I think it is probably the right mix of confidence, sensuality and intelligence. Like others have said, you don't want a horny guy that is just running from a script. I'm no expert, but it is largely a mental eroticism and not just being ordered around.

 

[silvertongue217]

In my opinion

There are people who are truly dom and have the "gift" so to speak (I am of the mind that it isnt some thing you can teach or truly play at) and then the people who only wish to use it to get what they want out of it specifically men. I in my travels or exploration of my own dominant side have come across many people who claim to be "Dom's" and think that it means that they dont have to care about woman who are subs or that they are there simply for their own pleasure. What most of these men dont realize is that Domination is about both parties and if the woman likes submitting you should take that submission and use it to reach a point of pleasure for both parties included. To me there is a difference between getting used and USED and a lot of the fakes out there think that it just isnt the case.

Just my thoughts on the matter.... take it or leave it I my self love dominating a woman and taking their submission and trust and rewarding them for it by giving them both of our fantasies com true but thats just me I'm all about the mind fuck