I can't father a child

[Jackoffking]

Whats wrong with me man? Any advice you can give man?

 

[shwetaCD]

Try partying lesser.. Start thinking about ur future

 

[imalickin]

Quit beating off every hour and stop drinking. Then you might want to find a woman to help.

 

[wpc_ruth]

so long and thanks for all the fish

......

 

[Tigersman]

Get rid of the jockey shorts. All they do is keep your balls up against you which helps kill your sperm. Next screw the woman from day 11 through day 15 or 16. Doing this will guarantee enough sperm is on hand to do the job. Sperm lives up to 72 hours.

 

[Jackoffking]

Thanks for the advice man. I need to pass on these great genes man

 

[oggbashan]

Stop smoking.

Smoking reduces sperm quality and quantity.

 

[Lord Pmann]

This is a sad day for society.

 

[MrRandyWatson]

It doesn't work if she swallows, y'know.

 

[Lord Pmann]

It doesn't work if she swallows, y'know.

Or if she is actually a he.

 

[smoothg103rd]

Stop smoking.

Smoking reduces sperm quality and quantity.

I smoke, and I got 3, so?

 

[parodyluvr75]

Whats wrong with me man? Any advice you can give man?

Nothing except the obvious, you're a weirdo. Also you might consider getting a woman.

 

[Garnate]

Nothing except the obvious, you're a weirdo. Also you might consider getting a woman.

First he should stop plaguing the board with the lamest alt I've ever seen. I hope his children can be more creative.

 

[VaticanAssassin]

Have you tried asking her to stop swallowing?

 

[parodyluvr75]

First he should stop plaguing the board with the lamest alt I've ever seen. I hope his children can be more creative.

If he finds a woman, he might stop, but she needs to be the kind that doesn't require an air pump. And he should never play Duran Duran, that makes women's vaginas hide.

 

[AllyRose]

http://cdn.akamai.steamstatic.com/steamcommunity/public/images/avatars/1b/1b2c97ac2878854b58f197de10f48c2e4c78d994_full.jpg

That's my car! That's my girl!!!​

 

[oggbashan]

I smoke, and I got 3, so?

You probably don't smoke as much as the OP.

I smoked, and I've got 3 too.

I didn't say that smoking prevented conception, but that it doesn't help.

In 19th Century England, one of the major reasons given by doctors for failure to conceive was:

Putting it in the wrong hole...

Another was:

Assuming that kissing equalled intercourse.

Of course that was from patients who consulted their doctors, an expensive option then. The working and agricultural classes didn't need advice on how to do it.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Psst...he doesn't really smoke, except in bed, that's what he told me.

 

[pink]

If he finds a woman, he might stop, but she needs to be the kind that doesn't require an air pump. And he should never play Duran Duran, that makes women's vaginas hide.

Hey. Some of us (meaning me) love Duran Duran.

 

[Noor]

Stop drinking. Stop doing marathons. Wear boxers. Get a sperm count.

I can't father a child either, but I have other issues

 

[Busybody]

I can't father a child?

good

 

[Ishmael]

Do a sperm count.

Jack off in a glass, add two drops of red dye #2, stir gently. Smear the goo on an 8x12 plate of glass. Start counting. Hint - a magnifying glass might come in handy here.

Post the results in this thread.

Ishmael

 

[Elixxxher]

Loose pants. Cold bath.

 

[duranman]

Hey. Some of us (meaning me) love Duran Duran.

Ditto! And perhaps the OP should watch this prior to any conception attempts to get him in the mood. Though the mind boggles as to exactly what he'd be shagging....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOHLfnUkfl0

 

[foxinsox]

Ditto! And perhaps the OP should watch this prior to any conception attempts to get him in the mood. Though the mind boggles as to exactly what he'd be shagging....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FOHLfnUkfl0

I would love you a lot more if you had a JohnTaylor av.