Should I tell him?

[smoothg103rd]

I don't like women that lie to a man and have him taking care of a baby that ain't his. Fucked up part is, she is going around telling people that it ain't his, but she haven't told him. She is kinda like my cousin, no blood relation, but my family grew up with hers and she been around my whole life. But the guy she is lying to, I know him. We ain't close friends or anything, but we're cool. I don't want to tell him and he do something to her, then I will feel fucked up for being the cause of it. But she brought it on herself. That little baby is about two months, she should of been told him. He so happy about that baby that he shows her off, I think he got the baby name tatted and too. Should I tell him? If it was me I would want to be told.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Yes.

And please have Kanye West's Gold Digger playing when you do.

 

[Recidiva]

That's rough. I really don't know. Depends on whether it's your sense of justice or sense of friendship. If you were to tell them, likely you'd lose all friendship and people wouldn't be all that happy with the justice.

I probably would, but I'd be ready to be made the villain for doing it, and get ready to be accused of wanting to start shit.

 

[Wings]

Unless it's costing you money, the answer is always no. You don't need to tell. He probably already knows but has decided that this baby will be his. It's not your business.

 

[chillywilly2]

Tell him...around these parts, if a guy takes care of a baby cause he thinks its his, then finds out different, the judge says, too bad, you still gotta take care of it cause you're used to it now.

edit to add

Trust the wimens to say don't tell him

 

[dolf]

you tell him. not for his sake, but for the child's. what if he finds out when the kid is 3y/o, loves him as a daddy, and he walks away? that child deserves to be raised honestly. and her recklessly using her child as a way to make money, because that's what it amounts to, is sick.

 

[dolf]

Trust the wimens to say don't tell him

^^twat

 

[chillywilly2]

^^twat

chill out old girl...I was kiddin

 

[Lancecastor]

I don't like women that lie to a man.

Explains why you like trannies better.

 

[dolf]

if he loves the baby, maybe he won't quit being dad. there's more to family than blood, as long as everyone knows the truth.

 

[Tigersman]

Lies

This so reminds me of something that happened to me in high school. I asked a girl for a date to a dance. She told me she could not go to the dance because she had committed to accompanying her mother to visit a sick aunt. The day after the dance a close friend paid me a visit. He told me the girl I asked out was at the dance with our class president who was on the senior's shit list. Every since then I have treated girls/women who tell lies like this as pariahs. Some may say the lie is sparing the person's ego or feelings but what do you think the person will feel when they find out the truth.

It's far better to tell the guy now than to let him find out you knew the truth all along but did not tell him. Your cousin made her bed, let her sleep in it. Tell the guy now.

 

[Lancecastor]

Every since then I have treated girls/women who tell lies like this as pariahs.

How's that working out for you? Getting lots of dates with grrls that don't lie?

 

[butters]

it's not right for her to use him as a money-maker.

how do you know she hasn't told him and they've decided to bring up the child as their own?

if she's going around telling people the child's not his, it will get back to him sooner or later.

go to her, tell her to do the right thing (if she hasn't already) and tell the guy because he's sure as shit gonna find out from someone else soon. also, to chase up child-payments from the actual dna donor (if she knows who it is). thing is, if the guy you know is fully aware and happy to be the baby's dad, it's also shitty of her to be spreading the news that he's not the dad around UNLESS she's telling people what a great dad your mate is and has taken on the role of baby-daddy knowing the situation and that everyone's happy.

even so, the ACTUAL father of the baby should know he has a child, and (unless he's some sort of monster) the child should be allowed to have some sort of contact with him to get to know him too - until the child gets to an age where they might decide they don't want to know.


edit: if you think he might harm her if she tells him, then she should make sure she has other people (friends/familymembers) there when she does.

if she really is just cheating him to use him as an income and surrogate parent without him knowing, it's really scuzzy, cheap behaviour. does the rest of your family condone this?

 

[Recidiva]

it's not right for her to use him as a money-maker.

how do you know she hasn't told him and they've decided to bring up the child as their own?

if she's going around telling people the child's not his, it will get back to him sooner or later.

go to her, tell her to do the right thing (if she hasn't already) and tell the guy because he's sure as shit gonna find out from someone else soon. also, to chase up child-payments from the actual dna donor (if she knows who it is). thing is, if the guy you know is fully aware and happy to be the baby's dad, it's also shitty of her to be spreading the news that he's not the dad around UNLESS she's telling people what a great dad your mate is and has taken on the role of baby-daddy knowing the situation and that everyone's happy.

even so, the ACTUAL father of the baby should know he has a child, and (unless he's some sort of monster) the child should be allowed to have some sort of contact with him to get to know him too - until the child gets to an age where they might decide they don't want to know.

Note: Don't do this if your name is Eddard Stark.

If she is a queen, this is not a good idea, otherwise, yeah.

Also, if the guy really wanted to know, really wanted to find out, there's a way now. The ability of people to conspiratorially lie to each other should not be underestimated. If there weren't a way to find out...I'd be much more likely to tell him.

 

[snugglestruggle]

Smoot You should measure what you would gain by telling him by what you might lose (his friendship). If you were best friends or related I could see how you'd feel obligated to tell him and you'd be right.

This is one of the many no win situations that comes along in life.

 

[Lancecastor]

Something like 10% of all children born to married couples in the USA have another man's DNA.

 

[jezzilee]

Hi Smooth!

I would tell him. If everyone else is being told, why shouldn't he know? He is going to be hurt, and hurt breeds anger. He may lash out at you at first, but I think that eventually he will be grateful.

You could always tell the "lady" in question that she needs to come clean. If she is a friend of the family, it may be better to let her have the chance to come clean herself. She should have told him from the beginning.

 

[butters]

Note: Don't do this if your name is Eddard Stark.

If she is a queen, this is not a good idea, otherwise, yeah.

Also, if the guy really wanted to know, really wanted to find out, there's a way now. The ability of people to conspiratorially lie to each other should not be underestimated. If there weren't a way to find out...I'd be much more likely to tell him.

he either already knows or is in the dark about it. he won't be for long if she's been telling everyone!

life's too short to use it up living a lie

 

[Recidiva]

he either already knows or is in the dark about it. he won't be for long if she's been telling everyone!

life's too short to use it up living a lie

Yeah. There are a couple ways to go about it.

My own experience with this sort of thing makes me really leery of being the target of a situation like this. Having broken truths to people I care about a lot, this made me shy away from this whole thing.

You're kinda damned if you do and damned if you don't. Nobody will thank you for it, not if time's already gone by enough. If they find out how long you knew, trust is blown either way.

Maybe an anonymous note slipped under the door...

 

[yossi]

Do you like involving yourself in a couple's drama? Then tell him. If you don't particularly enjoy doing so, then don't tell him.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I'd tell him.

Then I'd taunt him a bit.

That's just me though. I like to poke with a stick.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I'd tell him.

Then I'd taunt him a bit.

That's just me though. I like to poke with a stick.

I think you and I would be friends in real life.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Send him a note in the mail. Unsigned.

 

[chillywilly2]

Just tell him, hey, I heard she told Toby the kid ain't yours...whats up with that man

 

[qgg967]

I dont think you should, that could possibly end their relationship too. Let him be happy