NO! No, no, no, no, NO!

[desertslave]

This simply cannot and should not be true!

https://litreactor.com/news/fifty-shades-author-el-james-to-publish-a-writing-guide

 

[lovecraft68]

First....I never realized James looks like Sarah Palin after a cheeseburger binge

Second...most people who look for writing guides have some basis idea how to write and are looking to write better.

Even people who enjoyed Shades admit the writing is horrific. In fact one woman I know that enjoyed the books said the bad writing was part of why the books were fun, it was watching a really bad B sci fi flick, hokey as hell, but it made you smile.

So I think most understand the woman is not a great writer so I don't see this selling a lot.

Of course I am sure soon we will hear claims of how 85% of women are now writing and only because of E.L. James.

But what it really shows me(and this is with snark aside) is this woman is one trick pony with no other stories to tell so this is a way to get another book out and keep her name going, smart marketing.

I wonder who she stole this from?

 

[legerdemer]

This simply cannot and should not be true!

https://litreactor.com/news/fifty-shades-author-el-james-to-publish-a-writing-guide

Maybe they just got the title wrong - should have read "how-not-to guide on writing" ?

 

[PennLady]

I read that she was going to write the next two movie scripts, but that job has apparently gone to her husband. Her husband, at least, has experience writing for movies and TV. I'm not sure that will help too much, given the source material.

Maybe he should be writing the how-to guide...

 

[Katiecat]

Nooooooooo! The horrors! It's like....Mr. Magoo as a driving instructor. Her writing is so hideously, hilariously, deliciously awful.

 

[Saucyminx]

Maybe they just mean actually writing. . .like in cursive. Oh please let that be it.

 

[DreamCloud]

One can certainly ignore EL James' success, belittle it for its failure to obtain gourmet perfection.

I, for one, will admit I enjoyed the burger and fries offered by the simplistic tale. Something can be learned from her accomplishment. Maybe lofty complexity is not always a good thing. Then again, I have only been writing for 10 months. What the fuck do I know?

 

[Hypoxia]

I am reminded of:

EAT SHIT! FIVE BILLION MCDONALDS CUSTOMERS CAN'T BE WRONG!

We already know that quality and popularity do not correlate. As HL Menken said, nobody ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the [American] people. 50 Shades proves that shit sells. Maybe old EL's writer's guide will provoke wannabe hacks to feats of greatness. [/me shudders]

Back in the day before printing presses, European universities taught rhetoric, logic, grammar, and especially the composition of documents. Not just legal or religious docs, no. The most popular professors taught their well-to-do students how to write letters home begging for more money. [See THE RISE OF THE UNIVERSITIES by Charles Homer Haskins.] Ever practical, yes?

A contemporary guide for writers wishing to make Big Bucks in the flourishing smut industry makes total sense. Some insights might even intrude in the pages. Yow.

 

[Bramblethorn]

This simply cannot and should not be true!

https://litreactor.com/news/fifty-shades-author-el-james-to-publish-a-writing-guide

If we're lucky, she's just going to take King's "On Writing" and change the character names.

 

[slyc_willie]

Hell, I say let her peddle her BS. The market will be flooded with nonsensical bullshit, and those of us who know how to craft a story and keep an audience will clean up as a result.

Wait . . . I forgot to take into account the lowest common denominator that constitutes 95% of the consumer market.

Fuck . . . we're all doomed.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I'm thinking it'll improve about 98% of LIT writers.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

Now,now.

She was in a small Australian e-book community and self-published 50 shades as an e-book and print version. She became a no.1 NYT bestseller before Vintage paid her a squillion bucks and marketed her to film producers.

Good luck to her, even if I couldn't get past vol 1.

With all the hoop-la going on, I guess Vintage was pressing for something to publish and this was the best they came up with.

With the format, I bet it will sell to lots of aspiring lady romance writers as a tie-in to film 2, even if sr won't be buying it.

However much you rant and rail, you can't buck the market.

 

[elfin_odalisque]

I'm thinking it'll improve about 98% of LIT writers.

Only 98%?

 

[lovecraft68]

You know...something I want to put out there. We're all talking about-and look at the reviews, we're not alone-that James is a terrible writer style wise, I would use the word juvenile because the whole thing looks as if it were written by a 14 year old twi hard with a dirty mind(oh, wait that's what James is at heart)

But this was pro published by Random House.

So is this a sign that Random house no longer employs editors? They could not have spent ten minutes on that book.

One thing I take as a positive is I think the success of Shades proves something often discussed here.

how important is grammar and "technical writing" apparently millions of people think its not important at all if the like the premise/story.

Bad news for all the grammar nazis out there

 

[CyranoJ]

Random House crossed that Rubicon a long time ago. I halfway suspect they didn't even bother with copy editors for the John Grisham titles, because there's just a certain sector of the market that they expect to be semi-literate and don't make an effort for. (Either semi-literate or gullible; remember the "autobiography" A Million Little Pieces with James Frey?)

I like that the thread title reminds me of Don Logan:

http://www.virginmedia.com/images/bastards-donlogan-590x350.jpg

"Said that, did they? Fuckin' said that? E.L. James gonna do a fucking writing guide? Can't have that. Can't fuckin' have that, no no no. No way, not havin' it, not on your Nelly, E.L. fuckin' James, they got some fuckin' neck, ain't they."

 

[elfin_odalisque]

You know...something I want to put out there. We're all talking about-and look at the reviews, we're not alone-that James is a terrible writer style wise, I would use the word juvenile because the whole thing looks as if it were written by a 14 year old twi hard with a dirty mind(oh, wait that's what James is at heart)

But this was pro published by Random House.

So is this a sign that Random house no longer employs editors? They could not have spent ten minutes on that book.

One thing I take as a positive is I think the success of Shades proves something often discussed here.

how important is grammar and "technical writing" apparently millions of people think its not important at all if the like the premise/story.

Bad news for all the grammar nazis out there

Skip punctation and spelling, and I think you're right LC.

 

[Saucyminx]

If we're lucky, she's just going to take King's "On Writing" and change the character names.

This made laugh so hard I snorted. Thanks Bramble.

 

[DreamCloud]

One thing I take as a positive is I think the success of Shades proves something often discussed here.

how important is grammar and "technical writing" apparently millions of people think its not important at all if the like the premise/story.

Bad news for all the grammar nazis out there

There is a fairly successful author, Brent Weeks, who wrote the Night Trilogy and is currently scribbling his Lightbringer series. I understand that the Night Trilogy already has a movie deal. The man jumps from third person to first person within paragraphs constantly. Even I am jarred by it. Didn't stop me from reading the books - the stories are unique and entertaining.

Bad presentation may hurt a great story. The best presentation in the world can't help a crappy story. Story first - grammar second.

 

[PennLady]

Bad presentation may hurt a great story. The best presentation in the world can't help a crappy story. Story first - grammar second.

You may be on to something. I've read, and lately listened, to a lot of stuff about 50 Shades (without actually reading the books ). Nearly every article or podcast has right off the bad said yes, the writing is terrible. Juvenile, as LC said. However, she hit some kind of chord and people did not care.

In general, I say "Good for her." I have spent no money on any of this, nor read the books, so she's not taking my money or my time. And that's why I don't get too upset about these books -- no one's making anyone read them, and if you can't see to the fantasy in it, which is really quite conventional, well, then, that's not the author's problem.

That said, I am amused that after writing three poorly-written works of fan fiction, she's going to write a writing guide. You'd think living with someone who writes novels and screenplays (i.e., her husband) might have rubbed off, but I'm guessing not.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Only 98%?

The others are PILOT alts that cant be improved upon.

 

[Katiecat]

The FSOG trilogy touched a chord because it brought the kink of BDSM into the mainstream, in a way that is a lot more palatable than hard core stuff like DeSade. Vanilla couples who experimented with fuzzy handcuffs, make-shift sleep mask blindfolds, and spanking to spice up their sex lives maybe feel a little more normal -- or at least, a little less weird -- about their freaky urges.

That doesn't change the fact that it's horribly written fanfic, based on another wildly popular, but also poorly written, series. The plot and characters are regurgitated from the worst trashy bodice ripper romances -- powerful, dashingly handsome, insanely wealthy, brooding, etc. Lord of the castle relentlessly pursues and seduces innocent virgin; he won't take no for an answer until he conquers her body and soul, but then she is the one who conquers his heart. And when you translate this to the 21st century, he turns into a creepy billionaire stalker who is emotionally fucked up, but her love can change him and make him "whole". A whole what, I don't know.

Spelling and grammar aren't the issues. The problems are cringe-worthy passages like these:

“I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto.”

“I’m all deer/headlights, moth/flame, bird/snake … and he knows exactly what he’s doing to me.”

"And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain — probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells — comes the thought: He's here to see you."

She frequently makes sexual desire sound suspiciously like Ana had bad curry for lunch:

"My insides practically contort with potent needy liquid desire."

"His lips are parted — he's waiting, coiled to strike. Desire — acute, liquid and smoldering, combusts deep in my belly."

"His gaze is intense, all humor gone, and strange muscles deep in my belly clench suddenly."

Pass that poor girl the Pepto Bismol.

 

[OTCurve]

Actually I don't find the fact that she is writing a guide surprising at all. I think creativity and writing style are linked. As a large part of society seems to cast spelling and grammar to the wayside in favor of textspeak and the like, writing and reading skill suffers, along with creativity.

This seems to feed off of itself, the bad writing being read and accepted by so many, who themselves cannot string letters together properly, let alone phrases.

A downward spiral, to end who knows where. Newspeak probably. Won't that be fun.

 

[DreamCloud]

Spelling and grammar aren't the issues. The problems are cringe-worthy passages like these:

“I feel the color in my cheeks rising again. I must be the color of The Communist Manifesto.”

“I’m all deer/headlights, moth/flame, bird/snake … and he knows exactly what he’s doing to me.”

"And from a very tiny, underused part of my brain — probably located at the base of my medulla oblongata near where my subconscious dwells — comes the thought: He's here to see you."

She frequently makes sexual desire sound suspiciously like Ana had bad curry for lunch:

"My insides practically contort with potent needy liquid desire."

"His lips are parted — he's waiting, coiled to strike. Desire — acute, liquid and smoldering, combusts deep in my belly."

"His gaze is intense, all humor gone, and strange muscles deep in my belly clench suddenly."

Pass that poor girl the Pepto Bismol.

Sad to think I find all of these humorously wonderful. Thinking back, some of the first things I wrote mirror these. "potent needy liquid desire" Sounds like bourbon - I like bourbon. It's the main ingredient in mint juleps. Guess I have the derby on my mind.

 

[CyranoJ]

A downward spiral, to end who knows where. Newspeak probably. Won't that be fun.

Eh, it's not all doom and gloom. James is an anomaly who found a freak niche, the bulk of bestselling fiction is still quite competently written and edited. Even from Random House, much as I harshed on them earlier.

 

[OTCurve]

Eh, it's not all doom and gloom. James is an anomaly who found a freak niche, the bulk of bestselling fiction is still quite competently written and edited. Even from Random House, much as I harshed on them earlier.

I hope you are right, as I find my skin creeping when I browse the library stacks of new books. Maybe that is more topic related than competence, or maybe I am just getting to be a curmudgeon.

I do wonder, however, when I catch a news reporter, someone theoretically hired on their ability to accurately speak and report, asking for information to be displayed "more fastly".