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Stealthy buffalo

Balladeer08

Balladeer08

Literotica Guru
Joined
Nov 3, 2010
Posts
4,101
In Hot Springs, Arkansas, six buffalo have escaped captivity.

A week ago.

One was hit by a car, and three were tranquilized.

Two remain at large. Really large. They weigh a ton each.

Police have been unable to locate them.

I'll say that again: Police have been unable to locate two 2,000 lb buffalo. In a city.

I am now accepting theories about how the buffalo have evaded capture.

Bribery? ("I'll give you a lifetime supply of buffalo chips if you let me go.")

Disguised as.... ???

Smuggled out by the buffalo underground railroad (in a cattle car, I guess)

My biggest question: Why isn't the Hot Springs P.D. advertising/hiring detectives?

I find this story hysterically funny.
 
Balladeer08 said:
In Hot Springs, Arkansas, six buffalo have escaped captivity.

A week ago.

One was hit by a car, and three were tranquilized.

Two remain at large. Really large. They weigh a ton each.

Police have been unable to locate them.

I'll say that again: Police have been unable to locate two 2,000 lb buffalo. In a city.

I am now accepting theories about how the buffalo have evaded capture.

Bribery? ("I'll give you a lifetime supply of buffalo chips if you let me go.")

Disguised as.... ???

Smuggled out by the buffalo underground railroad (in a cattle car, I guess)

My biggest question: Why isn't the Hot Springs P.D. advertising/hiring detectives?

I find this story hysterically funny.
Click to expand...

They're shacking-up at a local dairy...

...duh.
 
There's a rumor (that I'm starting right here) that one of them has a parking ticket sticking from one of it's horns.
 
BREAKING NEWS:

Hot Springs Police Detectives are pursuing a lead that the buffalo may be in New York.
 
Balladeer08 said:
I am now accepting theories about how the buffalo have evaded capture.
Click to expand...

Having watched the horrific demise of their leader, three had panic attacks and had to be tranquilized. The other two returned to the herd because the outside world is too dangerous. :p
 
They're selling mozzarella in Trader Joes parking lot.
 
Yeah, they don't really know how to Bar-B- Que there in Arkansas.

Now if a couple Redneck Texans with a cow trailer came along...:D
 
They're grazing outside a pawn shop with a banner that says-

"We buy and sell old coins!"
 
The Hot Springs Police Chief of Detective (they only have one, small department) says they now suspect that these are rare Ninja buffalo.
 
FGB said:
Yeah, they don't really know how to Bar-B- Que there in Arkansas.

Now if a couple Redneck Texans with a cow trailer came along...:D
Click to expand...

That is the direction I was thinking. If I had a chance to drop 2000 lbs of meat on my back patio, I would be shopping for 2-3 more freezers. Buffalo is tasty.
 
Y'all ever been to Hot Springs AR, in between Little Rock and Mount Ida? Hot Springs is on the edge of hillbilly country, folks. Them bison has already been shot, skinned, butchered, and BBQ'd. Look for some newly-stuffed bison heads hanging in some bar or party room.
 
Hypoxia said:
Y'all ever been to Hot Springs AR, in between Little Rock and Mount Ida? Hot Springs is on the edge of hillbilly country, folks. Them bison has already been shot, skinned, butchered, and BBQ'd. Look for some newly-stuffed bison heads hanging in some bar or party room.
Click to expand...

With that theory, Hot Springs P.D. may try to get the F.B.I. to come in on the kidnapping!
 
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