Bored on deployment

[TheJabberKnight]

Long time lurker of the site here, hoping some I can get some help from a couple of helpful members. Like the subject line says I am deployed and one of the rules is no porn have to use a VPN just to get on here.
Videos and pics get passed around all day but sometimes I just want to read a good story. So if anyone can help me out by emailing me it would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Wings]

here you go:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/new_submissions.php

 

[dolf]

no porn? ...why??

 

[TheJabberKnight]

no porn? ...why??

One of those crazy military rules while being deployed like having crappy internet is not horrible enough

 

[JohnnySavage]

Back when I was in, there was no internet.

Suck it up, buttercup.

 

[TheJabberKnight]

here you go:

https://www.literotica.com/stories/new_submissions.php

I know how to find stories, but I can't save them to read later

 

[Wings]

I know how to find stories, but I can't save them to read later

I am in a really good mood so I won't say what I want to say. I will say this: go to The Personals forum and try there.


Here you will just get uninterested women or old men with wrinkly sacks. Unless that's your thing, in which case...rock out with your cock out dude.

 

[Wings]

Back when I was in, there was no internet.

Suck it up, buttercup.

Sorry about the wrinkly sack comment.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Sorry about the wrinkly sack comment.

My sack doesn't mind.

 

[Lancecastor]

Why is it that soldiers think there's poontang in danang anyway?

Did they tell you at the recruitment office it would be all porn and raping foreign village women?

Didn't these morons notice that the armed forces is filled with men?

No wonder the USA cant win even properly defeat a bunch of random camel jockeys with ancient equipment anymore.

Log off and go kill some foreigners!

 

[Miles Long]

Should our sacks not be wrinkly?

 

[Balladeer08]

I know how to find stories, but I can't save them to read later

Copy & Paste.

 

[Balladeer08]

I am in a really good mood so I won't say what I want to say. I will say this: go to The Personals forum and try there.


Here you will just get uninterested women or old men with wrinkly sacks. Unless that's your thing, in which case...rock out with your cock out dude.

HEY!

I just had my sack ironed. Heavy starch. You could cut yourself on the creases.

Show some respect.

 

[lovetoread]

All balls need love.

Wrinkly or no.

 

[JohnnySavage]

My balls are fairly sensitive and don't really like a whole lot of attention.

 

[Mr Noone]

My balls are fairly sensitive and love a whole lot of attention.

 

[JohnnySavage]

The problem is, some women grab hold of them like they are trying to one-hand crack two walnuts.

You can't blame them, really. They don't have the 24/7 access required to master the equipment.

 

[Wings]

Oh please, I don't even have them but I know how to treat them tenderly.

 

[JohnnySavage]

That's just the pre-marital bliss talking.

 

[Wings]

Pfffft, he likes it rough.

 

[Pookie]

The problem is, some women grab hold of them like they are trying to one-hand crack two walnuts.

You can't blame them, really. They don't have the 24/7 access required to master the equipment.

And some of us just want to crack some nuts.

 

[JohnnySavage]

Keep your nut crackers to yourself missy.

 

[Mr Noone]

And some of us just want to crack some nuts.

You make me feel like Walter Matthau.

 

[lovetoread]

http://static6.depositphotos.com/1092937/587/i/950/depositphotos_5874646-Nut-Cracker.jpg

 

[lovetoread]

I like this one better

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTC2o62Yggd2o72qnsabAF0vVbmgsiFvvYxUsC_VkyHPjYUgGAz4w