how do i know if she really will

[bigboy978]

Hi my wife and i always talk about having another guy fuck her.
its a huge fantasy that heats up during sex, she says for me to find a guy, any guy as long as he has a hard cock.
she says she will fuck him but i can't be present which I'm ok with. Problem is after sex she kindacools down to the idea, with me any way i have nnoticed the odd sex story of cheating wived that I dont down load. Help me understand if she really would fuck another guy or just having hot pillow talk? Ladies how can i know that she wants to but just a little scared ..men how did you know

 

[subwannabe]

I'd say that if she's cooled down to the idea when not horny then you've got your answer. Be careful what you wish for.

 

[SweetErika]

You could ask your wife if she's interested in taking the fantasy to reality or not. Or, better yet, ask her to let you know if she's ever interested in the fantasy moving to a real world setting.

We don't know you or your wife, nevermind what your wife is thinking. Subwannabe brings up a good point: there should be excitement about this outside of the bedroom for BOTH of you for it to happen, although that excitement should definitely be tempered with a healthy dose of reality and potential consequences (unplanned pregnancy, STIs, bad feelings, damage to/failure of the marriage, etc.). Basically, it's a lot of stuff that couples need to communicate about if they have any hope of surviving any sort of open relationship, so you might as well start practicing by asking your wife to let you know if she'd like more than fantasizing to happen.

 

[Que]

What subwannabe said. I like to say that anything that is not still interesting in the cold light of day is simply fantasy and not something you should probably engage in.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

agree
agree
agree
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this might surprise you.. but sometimes a woman might say things in the heat of passion to get a response from her love. I would bet that you get harder and fuck like a mad man when she whispers these dirty little secrets to you in bed.
the truth will come out in the dining room over meat loaf. ::cough::

 

[Harold_Hill]

Hi my wife and i always talk about having another guy fuck her.
its a huge fantasy that heats up during sex, she says for me to find a guy, any guy as long as he has a hard cock.
she says she will fuck him but i can't be present which I'm ok with. Problem is after sex she kindacools down to the idea, with me any way i have nnoticed the odd sex story of cheating wived that I dont down load. Help me understand if she really would fuck another guy or just having hot pillow talk? Ladies how can i know that she wants to but just a little scared ..men how did you know

If you want to know if your wife is serious about going to bed with another guy, suggest to her when she is not horny that you and she, (together), put an ad on Craigslist. She will let you know real quick whether or not she is serious.

If she is really serious, then, (together), put an ad on Craigslist, but be specific as to what kind of guy she is looking for, and be selective. She doesn't have to fuck the first guy who comes along. If and when you find someone who seems acceptable, then both of you, (together), meet the guy at some place like Starbucks for coffee. You want to be completely sober when you evaluate the guy. If you are both comfortable with the guy, then step back and let them do their thing. For safety's sake, you might even let them use your house/bedroom while you mow the grass or something. For safety's sake, you have to maintain at least some control until you know you can trust the guy.

Keep in mind there are risks. In time, she may find that she loves him more than you.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Lust and violence share the same brain parts. But never in the history of Earth has any pissed off human ever cooled off enough to lose the rage to kill. It just doesn't happen. So if she says the itch went away don't believe her. You must watch her 24/7.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Lust and violence share the same brain parts. But never in the history of Earth has any pissed off human ever cooled off enough to lose the rage to kill. It just doesn't happen. So if she says the itch went away don't believe her. You must watch her 24/7.

I think that was his point. He wants to watch.

 

[southern_gal]

agree
agree
agree
agree

this might surprise you.. but sometimes a woman might say things in the heat of passion to get a response from her love. I would bet that you get harder and fuck like a mad man when she whispers these dirty little secrets to you in bed.
the truth will come out in the dining room over meat loaf. ::cough::

This. Period. When it is steamy I will say or agree to anything that helps him cum. Funny tho some things we never talk about afterward.

 

[Hypoxia]

The classical Graeco-Roman approach to tough decisions was to brainstorm when drunk and reconsider when sober. This situation is fantasizing while horny and deciding when not. Do you really want to watch your wife fuck another man? Will she be happy watching you fuck another woman? Do you talk about this while munching meatloaf and mashed potatoes?

 

[Que]

This. Period. When it is steamy I will say or agree to anything that helps him cum. Funny tho some things we never talk about afterward.

I think in some cases is isn't even a conscious effort. My Ex tended to do just as you described. In the cold light of day something that she initiated or that she said got translated to "My, you were in a kinky mood last night!" -as if it was all on me when soup to my nuts it was all her at the time.

I used to think it was sort of a conscious defense mechanism, and that it was her way of airing an issue out without being embarrassed about her situational wantonness. Now I think it was entirely sub-conscious.

 

[southern_gal]

I think in some cases is isn't even a conscious effort. My Ex tended to do just as you described. In the cold light of day something that she initiated or that she said got translated to "My, you were in a kinky mood last night!" -as if it was all on me when soup to my nuts it was all her at the time.

I used to think it was sort of a conscious defense mechanism, and that it was her way of airing an issue out without being embarrassed about her situational wantonness. Now I think it was entirely sub-conscious.

Maybe for some it is sub conscious but for me, I am aware of what I am saying. I have, on several occasions, told him fantasies that are out of the usual for me and he has done the same but there is no doubt that in the heat of the moment he as told me he wants me to do something or whatever and I agree and play to that moment. Some of these things he may be hoping for and some may be pure fantasy but I try my best to make him think there is nothing I won't do in that moment. Hey, I started smoking because of his silly fetish so there is some truth to that. I know what makes him happy and yeah I am surprised occasionally at something he may say in bed but the end result is I will still go along with whatever he wants if it does it for him.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I think in some cases is isn't even a conscious effort. My Ex tended to do just as you described. In the cold light of day something that she initiated or that she said got translated to "My, you were in a kinky mood last night!" -as if it was all on me when soup to my nuts it was all her at the time.

I used to think it was sort of a conscious defense mechanism, and that it was her way of airing an issue out without being embarrassed about her situational wantonness. Now I think it was entirely sub-conscious.

yeah.. I don't think it's intended to mislead. It's more like you hop on that train to enjoy the ride in a way that you might not otherwise get to do. It's kind of a way to tease even though your fully exposed.

 

[southern_gal]

yeah.. I don't think it's intended to mislead. It's more like you hop on that train to enjoy the ride in a way that you might not otherwise get to do. It's kind of a way to tease even though your fully exposed.

I agree and I think (at least in our case) that it's kinda mutually understood that what we whisper and say to each other in that moment likely will never actually happen and maybe that's best anyway. It's still nice to think about naughty fantasies together and just verbalizing that yes I would do something like he just mentioned, can be enough sometimes. I say it's mutually understood because when we leave the bedroom those things are just never brought up.

 

[Que]

yeah.. I don't think it's intended to mislead. It's more like you hop on that train to enjoy the ride in a way that you might not otherwise get to do. It's kind of a way to tease even though your fully exposed.

I agree and I think (at least in our case) that it's kinda mutually understood that what we whisper and say to each other in that moment likely will never actually happen and maybe that's best anyway. It's still nice to think about naughty fantasies together and just verbalizing that yes I would do something like he just mentioned, can be enough sometimes. I say it's mutually understood because when we leave the bedroom those things are just never brought up.

I totally got (then and now) that it is heat of the moment talk and actions, often a tactical thing to push me over the edge since she was easy and multi, and I tended to take a while.

What never made sense was that in the cold light of day (which I think one should reasonably expect to shine a different light) she seemed to pass it off entirely as if what had happened had not happened the way that it did and at her instigation. Probably something us-specific, though.

 

[GiggLeGasm]

I totally got (then and now) that it is heat of the moment talk and actions, often a tactical thing to push me over the edge since she was easy and multi, and I tended to take a while.

What never made sense was that in the cold light of day (which I think one should reasonably expect to shine a different light) she seemed to pass it off entirely as if what had happened had not happened the way that it did and at her instigation. Probably something us-specific, though.

it's the sexual equivalent to ... "oh..this old dress?"

 

[annafedorenko87]

It`s just fantasy, I think. You should talk heart to heart to her if her fantasy offences you(

 

[Que]

it's the sexual equivalent to ... "oh..this old dress?"

More like "Shopping? Oh, no...this has been in the back of my closet..."

 

[desertslave]

It sounds like this needs to stay in the realm of 'hot sexy fun time' fantasy. Bringing another person into a relationship, no matter how carefully it is planned, can bring on very unexpected repercussions.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Interesting. The OP hasn't been back since he posted this thread. I guess he really didn't want to know after all.