Want to change from being a sub to be a dom

[Amy1122]

I have always been a lesbian sub. I do enjoy it when other women take control of me, but lately I want to be the one in charge. I have tried it but somehow end up being on the receiving end. How can I change to be a dom.

 

[Prince Albert]

Very difficult if not predisposed for it. It shoulds l?ike you are tryhing to "switch" but cannot.

 

[Amy1122]

I understand what you are saying but I want so badly to be the one in charge for a change. I enjoy being with my partner but I wish I can take control sometimes. I can be sleeping and she gets me up and gets what she wants. I really want to be able to do that.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I understand what you are saying but I want so badly to be the one in charge for a change. I enjoy being with my partner but I wish I can take control sometimes. I can be sleeping and she gets me up and gets what she wants. I really want to be able to do that.

Considering your profile indicates you are submissive by nature, what you want is going to be very difficult to accomplish. Your partner is Dominant, and being so, she may not be able to accept you as being Dominant. If you truly want to be Domme, you may have to be prepared to have a complete change of partner(s), and perhaps even a few friends. Relating to friends as a Dominant personality is very different from relating to the same friends as a submissive.

 

[Amy1122]

Thank you for your response. I know that at some point I will have to go out there and find a complete stranger. In my mind I have this picture where she is young, like 18 or 19, I am 26, and she is still inexperienced or a bi curious woman. The problem is that I am scared that I might try to seduce the wrong woman and it might end badly.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Thank you for your response. I know that at some point I will have to go out there and find a complete stranger. In my mind I have this picture where she is young, like 18 or 19, I am 26, and she is still inexperienced or a bi curious woman. The problem is that I am scared that I might try to seduce the wrong woman and it might end badly.

Whether a person is Dominant or submissive, any relationship can end badly. And in that context, whether Dominant or submissive, we learn from our mistakes, but you can't learn from your mistakes if you are afraid to make them.

Also something to think about. When you are a sub, you find a certain security in being with a Domme; however, when you are the Dominant one, you will find there is a certain responsibility that goes with it. The reason a sub bonds with a Domme is because she needs the security the Domme provides. From your original post, it sounds like you are ready to grow as a person; however with that said, you need to stop for a moment and think about what all personal growth entails. Being Dominant isn't difficult; however, as you grow into Dominance, you need to be aware of your responsibilities, not just the benefits.

 

[Amy1122]

Thank you for your advice. I haven't thought of it that way. Now that I think about it I realise that I am not the one that initiates sex but wait for my partner to come to me. She is the one that starts kissing me and undressing me, I just lay there while she does all the work. Sure, I also go down on her but she is already turned on because she was making me feel good. I really feel bad now, I think I am being selfish, I never went to her and started anything, I took it for granted that she must start everything. I feel so bad now.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Thank you for your advice. I haven't thought of it that way. Now that I think about it I realise that I am not the one that initiates sex but wait for my partner to come to me. She is the one that starts kissing me and undressing me, I just lay there while she does all the work. Sure, I also go down on her but she is already turned on because she was making me feel good. I really feel bad now, I think I am being selfish, I never went to her and started anything, I took it for granted that she must start everything. I feel so bad now.

Don't feel bad about yourself. Life is a learning experience, and you are learning about yourself. Not every person is cut out to be Dominant, some people are just naturally submissive.No reason to feel bad, you are just learning about what it means to be Domme and submissive. Learning about life will make you a better person.

 

[Amy1122]

For the first time last night I looked at Jennifer in a new way when she got home. I watched her get out of the car and she looked tired, guess what, when she walked in and saw me she changed and was suddenly lively and hugged and kissed me, I could have cried. I told her to take a shower and I made a bubble bath for her. After supper i sat next to her and kissed her and for the first time told her that I love her and cried. She was so concerned like she hurt me and I poured my heart out to her and she said that I'm her baby and will always be there for me, and for the first time I feel we made love and not sex. Thank you so much.

 

[Amy1122]

Any dom lesbians who had a partner that tried to dominate you and how did you handle it

 

[Amy1122]

I have spoken to my partner and I have tried once to dominate her, it was a disaster and we both ended up laughing. I eventually took control and instructed her to make love to me.

 

[Harold_Hill]

I have spoken to my partner and I have tried once to dominate her, it was a disaster and we both ended up laughing. I eventually took control and instructed her to make love to me.

Self-confidence is one of the key elements in being Dominant. You have to have the confidence to make mistakes and learn from them. No one is perfect on their first try.

 

[Amy1122]

Forget about self confidence, I found it very difficult trying to be in charge all the time. When my partner touched me and kissed me back I just melted in her arms, try coming back from that. What I need is a virgin, if only I could find one. ..

 

[Harold_Hill]

What I need is a virgin, if only I could find one. ..

LOL, Good luck with that.

 

[Amy1122]

Looks like I need to learn cougar tricks to seduce a beautiful teenage girl

 

[Amy1122]

I came across a 20 year old who is not confident and has never had a boyfriend. She is average looking and I have been working on her to a point where I want her to break down and cry so that I can take control of her.

 

[Amy1122]

I finally get it, I now know what turns a dom on. I had this fragile girl in my arms who was crying and vulnerable and I slowly caressed her and made her helpless as I undressed her. I have never been so turned on before without being touched.

 

[Amy1122]

Any subs want to play

 

[Amy1122]

Any doms up to challenge me because this sub is raring to go