The Un-Isolated Un-Blurt Thread

[TwinkleStars]

I look at the world a little sideways...

This more like it?

http://media.giphy.com/media/OsfEm4XgMjEKk/giphy.gif

 

[Not Normal]

This more like it?

http://media.giphy.com/media/OsfEm4XgMjEKk/giphy.gif

That's how I feel most days.

 

[Noor]

He could be depressed now too, not having a home yet, and not having activities like therapy anymore.

 

[TwinkleStars]

He could be depressed now too, not having a home yet, and not having activities like therapy anymore.

No. Mostly he's just confused as to what to say to people. He's talkative with me but quiet with others. If he was sad or depressed he'd tell me.

 

[Noor]

No. Mostly he's just confused as to what to say to people. He's talkative with me but quiet with others. If he was sad or depressed he'd tell me.

I am so glad he is talkative with you, it means he still knows you. It sounds like he is withdrawing with others.
Clinical depression is not something he could tell you, it's not like sadness, it would be his neurotransmitters slowing down.
Is he getting any exercise, walks, stuff like that?
What time of day do you visit? Some people with dementia have better and worse times.
You could try giving him some tools to talk with other people about, so he has some stuff to fall back on. A cheat sheet. The weather is always good, he could ask people about their day. Written things and pictures. Music, plants.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

{{{squishy hugs for Twinkle}}}

 

[TwinkleStars]

I am so glad he is talkative with you, it means he still knows you. It sounds like he is withdrawing with others.
Clinical depression is not something he could tell you, it's not like sadness, it would be his neurotransmitters slowing down.
Is he getting any exercise, walks, stuff like that?
What time of day do you visit? Some people with dementia have better and worse times.
You could try giving him some tools to talk with other people about, so he has some stuff to fall back on. A cheat sheet. The weather is always good, he could ask people about their day. Written things and pictures. Music, plants.

I don't think he's withdrawing from others. He talks to the staff where he is staying at a lot. It is possible he's scared of the situation and is simply keeping quiet around people he doesn't know.
I always visit in the morning as he's more alert then and more talkative. Maybe getting his taxes done and sitting there that whole time he felt useless or helpless?? It's possible. He'd never admit to those kinds of feelings. Oh, and it was late in the day which is when he tends to be more quiet and reserved.

I think I need to get more info on dementia. I mean, you always think you have all the information after reading so much but, there's always more to learn, right?

{{{squishy hugs for Twinkle}}}

Thanks, Miss Honey! Always so sweet of you. *Hugs*

 

[Noor]

I don't think he's withdrawing from others. He talks to the staff where he is staying at a lot. It is possible he's scared of the situation and is simply keeping quiet around people he doesn't know.
I always visit in the morning as he's more alert then and more talkative. Maybe getting his taxes done and sitting there that whole time he felt useless or helpless?? It's possible. He'd never admit to those kinds of feelings. Oh, and it was late in the day which is when he tends to be more quiet and reserved.

I think I need to get more info on dementia. I mean, you always think you have all the information after reading so much but, there's always more to learn, right?



Thanks, Miss Honey! Always so sweet of you. *Hugs*

He is your dad, it's hard for dads to have their daughters do something they feel they should be doing.

Hugs!

 

[TwinkleStars]

He is your dad, it's hard for dads to have their daughters do something they feel they should be doing.

Hugs!

Yeah, that's true.

 

[snugglestruggle]

Twinkie How's it going? Hey you know nothing gets people talking to each other better than food or alcohol. Bring him some cupcakes or brownies (anything even candy) he can offer to share as conversation starters.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Twinkie How's it going? Hey you know nothing gets people talking to each other better than food or alcohol. Bring him some cupcakes or brownies (anything even candy) he can offer to share as conversation starters.

I bring him food all the time. He just wants to eat it.

I'm going to bring one of my photo albums and I can try to get him talking.

 

[snugglestruggle]

I bring him food all the time. He just wants to eat it.

I'm going to bring one of my photo albums and I can try to get him talking.

Bake or bring extra. You could give him a Tin marked "for sharing with new friends".

 

[TwinkleStars]

Bake or bring extra. You could give him a Tin marked "for sharing with new friends".

Trust me, my dad would never share. *giggles*

 

[Noor]

Supposedly people use only a small part of their brain. Think of it as a large spider web.
Certain things like head injury or alzheimers can break parts of the web and so thoughts need to be like a spider and search out the non-broken parts of the web.

By giving people photos, interactions, things that stretch their brains in ways that are fun or rewarding and stuff you are kind of seeding the web with ants that they might find. It takes a while. With my sibling new connections took about 6 wks for a new process. You need patience this is not easy for them.

Until MRI's show a brain is complete swiss cheese or major functioning parts are gone, you still have a chance to jump start other parts of the brain.

He may need to feel he can still do something productive. If he can draw, bring him materials and draw with him. Music sometimes helps or singing.
I would try anything, even a plant that needs to be misted or doesn't mind being misted, and he can mist it everyday or not, and it grows.

 

[Noor]

Bake or bring extra. You could give him a Tin marked "for sharing with new friends".

Make those cookies he doesn't like much, nice cookies for him, boring cookies to share. Maybe he can practice offering cookies to people.

You could also ask him about other people there,and he might investigate who they are.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Wow! Thank you, Noor! You're like an encyclopedia of information.

I left a crossword puzzle book there and sometimes he tries them. He always used to do them in the morning paper.

I'll figure this out. I just HAVE to be more accepting of all these changes, it's just hard. *sighs*

 

[snugglestruggle]

Make those cookies he doesn't like much, nice cookies for him, boring cookies to share. Maybe he can practice offering cookies to people.

You could also ask him about other people there, and he might investigate who they are.

Good cookies for Papa Twinkie, crappy cookies to make friends with? That's down right devious Noor, I like it and didn't know you had it in you

Somehow I don't think Papa Twinkie will be making many new friends with that strategy ROFL

Wow! Thank you, Noor! You're like an encyclopedia of information.

I left a crossword puzzle book there and sometimes he tries them. He always used to do them in the morning paper.

I'll figure this out. I just HAVE to be more accepting of all these changes, it's just hard. *sighs*

Word searches are a bit easier as crosswords can be frustrating for the elderly. Try the dollar store for both.

 

[Noor]

Good cookies for Papa Twinkie, crappy cookies to make friends with? That's down right devious Noor, I like it and didn't know you had it in you

Somehow I don't think Papa Twinkie will be making many new friends with that strategy ROFL

You have no idea

I suppose I should have been more clear.
They just have to be boring cookies to her dad.
For instance, I have never much liked oatmeal raisin cookies, but other people love them.
So if it was me chocolate chip cookies for my secret stash, oatmeal raisin cookies to make friends with.

 

[Noor]

Wow! Thank you, Noor! You're like an encyclopedia of information.

I left a crossword puzzle book there and sometimes he tries them. He always used to do them in the morning paper.

I'll figure this out. I just HAVE to be more accepting of all these changes, it's just hard. *sighs*

Well, you can accept things are changing, but don't give up on trying stuff. Look at it more as a road block on one path and look for a new path.
Do you remember the movie "Awakening?" It was a true story about Parkinson's patients who were re-awakened for periods of time by a drug version of dopamine. They were in there all along, they just couldn't communicate.

I don't give up easily. It is not easy and you'll need to be flexible, but you to find new ways to work with him.

 

[Que]

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[4est_4est_Gump]

...

'.'​

 

[TwinkleStars]

Good cookies for Papa Twinkie, crappy cookies to make friends with? That's down right devious Noor, I like it and didn't know you had it in you

Somehow I don't think Papa Twinkie will be making many new friends with that strategy ROFL

Word searches are a bit easier as crosswords can be frustrating for the elderly. Try the dollar store for both.

Not sure he would do them but I suppose getting him different kinds of puzzles may work. Maybe he can find ones he likes doing more then others. Thank you!

You have no idea

I suppose I should have been more clear.
They just have to be boring cookies to her dad.
For instance, I have never much liked oatmeal raisin cookies, but other people love them.
So if it was me chocolate chip cookies for my secret stash, oatmeal raisin cookies to make friends with.

My dad has no problems making friends. He's a people person. It's difficult now because in certain situations (like getting his taxes done, talking to the doctor, etc) he simply doesn't comprehend or care.

Well, you can accept things are changing, but don't give up on trying stuff. Look at it more as a road block on one path and look for a new path.
Do you remember the movie "Awakening?" It was a true story about Parkinson's patients who were re-awakened for periods of time by a drug version of dopamine. They were in there all along, they just couldn't communicate.

I don't give up easily. It is not easy and you'll need to be flexible, but you to find new ways to work with him.

I'm not calling quits. I'm just worried, scared, upset and anxious about all this. I was told by a few people who have been in my situation that my feelings are normal as they felt the same way at the time. I don't feel I'm doing enough for him and I was told that's perfectly normal in dealing with someone you love.
Just hearing people say these things was very reassuring.

 

[TwinkleStars]

Today was a bad visit so hopefully the next time will be a better time. I'd rather not go into why it was bad.

Oh, he's gone from peanut butter cups to peppermint patties. He's still stuck on the cheese crackers with peanut butter.

I'm trying to think up a meal he used to make for us. He has mentioned wanting steak. I'm not sure I am able to make him a really good steak. *le sigh*

 

[Noor]

Not sure he would do them but I suppose getting him different kinds of puzzles may work. Maybe he can find ones he likes doing more then others. Thank you!



My dad has no problems making friends. He's a people person. It's difficult now because in certain situations (like getting his taxes done, talking to the doctor, etc) he simply doesn't comprehend or care.



I'm not calling quits. I'm just worried, scared, upset and anxious about all this. I was told by a few people who have been in my situation that my feelings are normal as they felt the same way at the time. I don't feel I'm doing enough for him and I was told that's perfectly normal in dealing with someone you love.
Just hearing people say these things was very reassuring.

Based on my experiences, people can shut down when they get upset or overwhelmed when in these situations.
It might appear as non-comprehension or not caring, but it could be just shutting down because it's too much in some way.
He is probably scared too, most people with dementia realize it is happening, at least part of the time.

In talking with the doctor, maybe help him make a list before seeing the doctor, and then writing down what the drs says for him. I have a brain injured brother and it really helps having the drs write up everything.

 

[Not Normal]

Good luck with you Pops, Twinkle.