Crazy men.

[parodyluvr75]

My stupid husband and I are going through a long dry spell sexually for various reasons. Mostly because he doesn't bath and I want to shove things in his mouth every time he opens it. We went to bed last night and I wanted sex but he was smelly and dumb as usual, that kills my drive. I became restless and got up to go watch TV in the lounge. A short time later I received this text from my stinky husband.

"Come back to bed". Followed by "I havnt taken a bath in a long while you probably won't want to go down there."

I mean WTF!! You can fix our problems! Take a bath and let me gag you.

Luv,

Birdy

 

[Noor]

You could take a bath with him and gag him while you are in there

 

[Balladeer08]

You could take a bath with him and gag him while you are in there

Or drown him.

Just saying.

 

[The Greek]

Explore the many wonders of surprising him with a garden hose. The colder the water, the better.

Short of that, dump a pitcher of ice cold water on him, telling him you wanted to make sure he still remembers what water feels like.

 

[parodyluvr75]

You could take a bath with him and gag him while you are in there

You're brilliant, you know.

 

[Noor]

You're brilliant, you know.

Long term practice with loony men...

 

[thør]

My stupid husband and I are going through a long dry spell sexually for various reasons. Mostly because he doesn't bath and I want to shove things in his mouth every time he opens it. We went to bed last night and I wanted sex but he was smelly and dumb as usual, that kills my drive. I became restless and got up to go watch TV in the lounge. A short time later I received this text from my stinky husband.

"Come back to bed". Followed by "I havnt taken a bath in a long while you probably won't want to go down there."

I mean WTF!! You can fix our problems! Take a bath and let me gag you.

Luv,

Birdy

Has he become brainwashed by some cult? Can he not smell himself? No daily wash-up (or down)?

 

[parodyluvr75]

Explore the many wonders of surprising him with a garden hose. The colder the water, the better.

Short of that, dump a pitcher of ice cold water on him, telling him you wanted to make sure he still remembers what water feels like.

That has to be the sexiest post, ever.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Has he become brainwashed by some cult? Can he not smell himself? No daily wash-up (or down)?

He's nose blind.

 

[Noor]

He's nose blind.

They are always blind somewhere...

 

[parodyluvr75]

They are always blind somewhere...

Yeah but they usually smell better.

 

[Noor]

Yeah but they usually smell better.

True. Somehow I attract OCD guys as far as their cleanliness, even online, it's strange. Last one was a drama lama, at least smelly guys can be bathed...

 

[hobbit.]

two options -
1 go down on him and gag whilst doing it, p.s ever whiffed your own crotch?

3 dress as a satanic handmaid and burn sulphur in a suitable fireprof rreceptacle to replicate the flames of hell towards which all sinners are destined to travel.

 

[arizona2000]

Many options here

I vote couples shower suggested above. Always fun. You could buy a sheer shower curtain, get in and Invite him. Or get naked, grab his hand and drag him in there? Perhaps if you don't have nosey neighbors just kick him outside every time it rains. Throw a bar of soap out the window and lock him out until you think he's thoroughly soaked. Or, you could try it his way on a weekend, so no one has to know, and go unwashed with him then invite him to go down on you and see if he gets the point. But really, is there perhaps something causing his lack of hygiene that could be addressed? Is he depressed or going through something or has that always been the status quo? Good luck !!

 

[Noor]

It is fun taking showers with lovers, and it makes sure you are both clean too!

 

[parodyluvr75]

True. Somehow I attract OCD guys as far as their cleanliness, even online, it's strange. Last one was a drama lama, at least smelly guys can be bathed...

True!

It is fun taking showers with lovers, and it makes sure you are both clean too!

That is fun, soap wet fun.

two options -
1 go down on him and gag whilst doing it, p.s ever whiffed your own crotch?

3 dress as a satanic handmaid and burn sulphur in a suitable fireprof rreceptacle to replicate the flames of hell towards which all sinners are destined to travel.

I smell fine, I'm a very clean bird, thank you very much.

I like the last one. I do have a red dress and devil horns.

 

[Elixxxher]

Tell him you'll help him wash the car then nail him with the hose.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I want a stinky lover to shower with.

Emphasis on 'lover' and, 'shower.'

 

[parodyluvr75]

I want a stinky lover to shower with.

Emphasis on 'lover' and, 'shower.'

You and me both.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Tell him you'll help him wash the car then nail him with the hose.

Can I use a power hose?

 

[ozrod]

I want a stinky lover to shower with.

Emphasis on 'lover' and, 'shower.'

Did I mention that my shower is a double header.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Did I mention that my shower is a double header.

what the hell?? stalker.



you now have two choices before you:

1. go back to the Playground and wait for me there.
2. send me a pic of your cock and balls as price of admission to the GB.

 

[Noor]

Can I use a power hose?

He might not work so well after a power hosing, would that be a problem for you?

 

[Elixxxher]

Can I use a power hose?

1,500 PSI will take tar off the rocker panels. Just think of what it'll do for him.

 

[ozrod]

what the hell?? stalker.



you now have two choices before you:

1. go back to the Playground and wait for me there.
2. send me a pic of your cock and balls as price of admission to the GB.

I tried, but your Inbox is full.

Shame that, and now I've accidentally deleted them.

Yes it really is. Killing me.