Crazy texts

[shelbakk]

My prudish wife and I are going through a long dry spell sexually for various reasons. We went to bed last night and I wanted sex but she was her normal ice woman self. I became restless and got up to go watch TV in the lounge. A short time later I received this text from my slightly guilt ridden wife.

"Come back to bed". Followed by "I havnt shaved in a long while you probably won't want to go down there." " come back to bed!"

I mean WTF!!

 

[Saint Peter]

Her scruffy muff never bothered the rest of us.

 

[Erochic]

Ah... Do you really care if she hasn't shaved?

So just tell her that you don't care. Simple.

 

[girlsmiley]

Her scruffy muff never bothered the rest of us.

Truth.

*scrunchie *

 

[Saint Peter]

Truth.

*scrunchie *

Don't be slobbering all over that thing.

 

[girlsmiley]

Don't be slobbering all over that thing.

Dude, just wait your turn.

I don't tell you what to do and what not to do.

 

[girlsmiley]

Don't be slobbering all over that thing.

You're probably going to need a piece of tarpaulin or something. And some towels. Sorry.

 

[SolarHomo]

My prudish wife and I are going through a long dry spell sexually for various reasons. We went to bed last night and I wanted sex but she was her normal ice woman self. I became restless and got up to go watch TV in the lounge. A short time later I received this text from my slightly guilt ridden wife.

"Come back to bed". Followed by "I havnt shaved in a long while you probably won't want to go down there." " come back to bed!"

I mean WTF!!

Maybe she misdialed.

 

[dolf]

being self conscious = ice women

???

the smart response is, ''you could have not shaved for a month and be wearing a binbag, and i'd still find you sexy as hell!'' before going back to bed and giving her a hug.

that's the response that makes her most likely to say yes next time.

 

[Saint Peter]

I had to google binbag.

 

[Not Normal]

Be happy that she's making an effort.

 

[unregistered]

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

This.

She needs to feel wanted, and she reached out to you OP, and it sounds like you dismissed her. How's that working out for you?

She could have cleaned up before going to bed if reaching out was on her mind...



... besides, it's probably just performance art.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Erochic]

This.

She needs to feel wanted, and she reached out to you OP, and it sounds like you dismissed her. How's that working out for you?

This.

Don't be a moron.

 

[JohnnySavage]

This.

Don't be a moron.

Is that a rule, or more of a guideline?

I'm asking for a friend.

 

[Erochic]

Is that a rule, or more of a guideline?

I'm asking for a friend.

Meh... It's a guideline.

I'm not as strict as You might think. If you act like a moron but you are generally a good person and you make it up to me I'm pretty forgiving.


That being said, I once threw an electric razor so hard I broke it

 

[patient1]

I had to google binbag.

It totally confused me, also. At first I thought it was a typo, but I couldn't sort it out. Then I thought it might be a laundry bag.

I eventually concluded "dust bin" liner, or what we would call a garbage bag.


Really, you should dictate how she's used. After all, you made her ass hook with your own hands.

 

[Noor]

Maybe she needs help shaving?

I don't shave, I don't have much hair, my lovers can do whatever they wish with their own hair.

I figure an olive branch is an olive branch, go back to bed and work something out.

 

[Saint Peter]

...with love and goodness...

 

[Balladeer08]

Her scruffy muff never bothered the rest of us.

Made me think of 70's porn closeups: 2 brillo pads fighting over a hot dog.

 

[Noor]

This one is pretty mindlessly simple.
I think the OP would have died from the sheer complicated lunacy of our fights.

 

[Balladeer08]

Maybe she misdialed.

This has been my favorite response to the OP.

It goes beyond just being unhelpful. It truly epitomizes the GB tendency to take a bad situation and make it seem worse.

Plus it's funny as hell. 8)

 

[Emerson40]

http://31.media.tumblr.com/844b5cc39919d3a10929805b7d89641e/tumblr_n2oqcteJ7Q1qljj91o1_400.gif

 

[Disgustipated]

That's not crazy. You should read the filth that hoor texts me!