Littlefinger
dead account
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2009
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Something that made me think in Des's thread about touch: http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1157803
While everyone was going on about how important touch is and ready to assert that they themselves have not lost touch with the experience, Lorilei said this:
She might have been teasing but even if she wasn't it made me think about the difference in experience. Particularly since I identify as asexual and do not pursue relationships with the intent or even desire for physical intimacy with others(it comes and goes for the right people and I do feel sexual desire, which is where the pan comes in as far as my attraction and arousal meter goes, just not the desire to be sexually stimulated by another), I feel sensitive to this viewpoint. I've been told everything from sex being integral to healthy relationships or that I must have been "abused" or assaulted at some point in my life to explain the way I feel. Not particular relationships or individual personality pictures of mental health but very broadly, yes, it is a requirement to have sex with your partner otherwise it is not considered a valid form of relating; you're just "roommates" or "friends" not romantic or held to the same standard or ideal as a married couple who does engage in sex or even just a dating regular person who pursues relationships just for the sex only. And that's not right.
How is my standard of living, what makes me content and happy, viewed as less? Like the reason I no longer go to family functions because I'm not considered a whole person or even a happy one if I am not constantly seeking to move upward, moving on to better things, if I'm not attached at the hip with someone who likes to pleasure me sexually. I'm 28 and I should still be looking for fulfillment constantly, looking for improvement, I should never feel satisfied. Not in my "dead end job" as a cashier, even though I love it, love people, love pushing buttons all day, love the flexibility of the hours, love to talk about food, love being surrounded by food but not being forced to prepare it. Not as a talented artist who refuses to go to school, even though I love my art and it is a part of who I am but it's not my ideal to make it about other people, it's mine for me and I like it that way. Not as an almost 30, divorced woman who dresses and acts like a man because obviously I MUST be dissatisfied, even though expressing my duality and having the freedom to be whomever I want to be today, whatever aspect of me I wish to let out today is exactly what I love and enjoy about myself, accepting all parts of me as equally valid and true parts of who I am. Not alone, even though I have many friend gardens at different tiers of growth that all enrich my life in so many ways without making me feel overwhelmed or exhausted or caged by expectation or need, allowing me enough time and freedom for me, by myself.
I had an experience recently, watching Fish Tank starring Michael Fassbender. I was fascinated by the unhinged and seemingly floating existence of this young woman in the film, living in what I consider poor circumstance. Half the time, her apartment door was open, either left that way as she left or already open when she came home and a nameless dog in the cluttered front hall(I don't know, was it theirs? I think so, maybe). Granted, it wasn't suppose to paint a pretty picture of their life, her mother uncaring and practically a teenager herself in party girl, trashy attitude and the way that they related to each other was so alien and immature, so raw, petty and constantly fighting and degrading. Different from my experiences but not necessarily bad. It's still a home, a roof, she still had clothes and makeup and a bed. She still had a family, albeit not what we picture as the standard but that is gradually changing as more and more same-sex couples start adopting or having children.
Do you force your viewpoint that someone should constantly strive for more in their situations and experiences?
Do you look at the lives of others and measure it by what your goals and life aspirations are without considering what they might hold up as contentment and ultimate satisfaction?
Is there a standard or ideal that fits for everyone?
I spent over half of my life being unhappy because someone told me to be, someone told me I should want something more or different, to the point where I didn't even listen to myself and my own needs. Just playing the part of happy unsuccessfully.
While everyone was going on about how important touch is and ready to assert that they themselves have not lost touch with the experience, Lorilei said this:
She might have been teasing but even if she wasn't it made me think about the difference in experience. Particularly since I identify as asexual and do not pursue relationships with the intent or even desire for physical intimacy with others(it comes and goes for the right people and I do feel sexual desire, which is where the pan comes in as far as my attraction and arousal meter goes, just not the desire to be sexually stimulated by another), I feel sensitive to this viewpoint. I've been told everything from sex being integral to healthy relationships or that I must have been "abused" or assaulted at some point in my life to explain the way I feel. Not particular relationships or individual personality pictures of mental health but very broadly, yes, it is a requirement to have sex with your partner otherwise it is not considered a valid form of relating; you're just "roommates" or "friends" not romantic or held to the same standard or ideal as a married couple who does engage in sex or even just a dating regular person who pursues relationships just for the sex only. And that's not right.
How is my standard of living, what makes me content and happy, viewed as less? Like the reason I no longer go to family functions because I'm not considered a whole person or even a happy one if I am not constantly seeking to move upward, moving on to better things, if I'm not attached at the hip with someone who likes to pleasure me sexually. I'm 28 and I should still be looking for fulfillment constantly, looking for improvement, I should never feel satisfied. Not in my "dead end job" as a cashier, even though I love it, love people, love pushing buttons all day, love the flexibility of the hours, love to talk about food, love being surrounded by food but not being forced to prepare it. Not as a talented artist who refuses to go to school, even though I love my art and it is a part of who I am but it's not my ideal to make it about other people, it's mine for me and I like it that way. Not as an almost 30, divorced woman who dresses and acts like a man because obviously I MUST be dissatisfied, even though expressing my duality and having the freedom to be whomever I want to be today, whatever aspect of me I wish to let out today is exactly what I love and enjoy about myself, accepting all parts of me as equally valid and true parts of who I am. Not alone, even though I have many friend gardens at different tiers of growth that all enrich my life in so many ways without making me feel overwhelmed or exhausted or caged by expectation or need, allowing me enough time and freedom for me, by myself.
I had an experience recently, watching Fish Tank starring Michael Fassbender. I was fascinated by the unhinged and seemingly floating existence of this young woman in the film, living in what I consider poor circumstance. Half the time, her apartment door was open, either left that way as she left or already open when she came home and a nameless dog in the cluttered front hall(I don't know, was it theirs? I think so, maybe). Granted, it wasn't suppose to paint a pretty picture of their life, her mother uncaring and practically a teenager herself in party girl, trashy attitude and the way that they related to each other was so alien and immature, so raw, petty and constantly fighting and degrading. Different from my experiences but not necessarily bad. It's still a home, a roof, she still had clothes and makeup and a bed. She still had a family, albeit not what we picture as the standard but that is gradually changing as more and more same-sex couples start adopting or having children.
Do you force your viewpoint that someone should constantly strive for more in their situations and experiences?
Do you look at the lives of others and measure it by what your goals and life aspirations are without considering what they might hold up as contentment and ultimate satisfaction?
Is there a standard or ideal that fits for everyone?
I spent over half of my life being unhappy because someone told me to be, someone told me I should want something more or different, to the point where I didn't even listen to myself and my own needs. Just playing the part of happy unsuccessfully.
