Vagina Yogurt

[Carnevil9]

There has got to be a story idea in here.......

How about some vagina yogurt? University of Wisconsin student Cecilia Westbrook said it reminded her of Indian pudding and as for the taste she said it was “sour, tangy, and almost tingly on the tongue.....

http://ithurtsmyheadtothink.net/woman-makes-yogurt-with-bacteria-from-her-vagina

 

[Hypoxia]

How to sexualize this? A competitive taste test, with entries sampled from their vaginas of origin? A sorority contest to generate the tastiest treat? A player who persuades their hookups to provide bacterial samples for comparative cultivation? Aha, a commercial yogurt-maker finds vaginal yogurt a flash hit and introduces various flavors -- all of which have aphrodisiac effect on subsets of the population, of course. And don't forget the tentacles...

 

[MaesterAelix]

How to sexualize this? A competitive taste test, with entries sampled from their vaginas of origin? A sorority contest to generate the tastiest treat? A player who persuades their hookups to provide bacterial samples for comparative cultivation? Aha, a commercial yogurt-maker finds vaginal yogurt a flash hit and introduces various flavors -- all of which have aphrodisiac effect on subsets of the population, of course. And don't forget the tentacles...

I think this is a good opportunity for a 'nerdy science guy' - some how he got himself a girlfriend, but she leaves him. He makes the yogurt and likes it - and then starts to sell it to others, mostly out of vengence. But then really starts to make money - so another girl shows up to become another flavor...then another then another.

He simply names the samples/flavors after the girl and they get a share of the profits.

Then the first girl finds out- very angry.

 

[Hypoxia]

I think this is a good opportunity for a 'nerdy science guy'...

First, we need a name for vaginal yogurt. QuimBurt? (As opposed to CumBurt, cultured from semen or mixed-gender fluids.) vPudding? Vogurt?

Twist: Nerdy science girl brews Vogurt from microbial samples taken from herself (of course) and stealthily (or not) from classmates / cow-orkers / relatives. She more-or-less surreptitiously tests the Vogurt varieties on a nerdy science guy who, affected by the cultured pheromones, makes a fool of himself with each source. Nerdy science gal eventually give him her sample and they find true love, the end, HEA.

Followup: Nerdy science girl collects semen samples, maybe from various jocks lured by her studied feminine wiles, and brews cultures of CumBert (or maybe it's Pogurt, penis yogurt). Guys tasting the stuff go bi. Hilarity ensues.

 

[Saucyminx]

First, we need a name for vaginal yogurt. QuimBurt? (As opposed to CumBurt, cultured from semen or mixed-gender fluids.) vPudding? Vogurt?

Twist: Nerdy science girl brews Vogurt from microbial samples taken from herself (of course) and stealthily (or not) from classmates / cow-orkers / relatives. She more-or-less surreptitiously tests the Vogurt varieties on a nerdy science guy who, affected by the cultured pheromones, makes a fool of himself with each source. Nerdy science gal eventually give him her sample and they find true love, the end, HEA.

Followup: Nerdy science girl collects semen samples, maybe from various jocks lured by her studied feminine wiles, and brews cultures of CumBert (or maybe it's Pogurt, penis yogurt). Guys tasting the stuff go bi. Hilarity ensues.

Vogurt is damn near perfect.

 

[Hypoxia]

Vogurt is damn near perfect.

Thanks. Pogurt doesn't work quite as well. I need help here, folks.

 

[blin18]

Thanks. Pogurt doesn't work quite as well. I need help here, folks.

Scrogurt?

 

[Hypoxia]

Scrogurt?

Hmmm, sounds too much like smegma. Not sexy at all. Spogurt (sperm yogurt) isn't quite so bad but still ain't great. Let's see, what possibilities do I have?

* Vogurt - yogurt cultured from vaginal microbes
* Hogurt - vogurt made from prostitutes (ho's)
* Pogurt - yogurt cultured from penile microbes
* Togurt - pogurt made from toga-wearing males

For variety, try:

* Dogurt - pogurt cultured from doberman semen
* Jogurt - vogurt obtained from active joggers
* Mogurt - yogurt obtained from moggies (cats)

I'll let others figure out the sources of Bogurt, Fogurt, Logurt, Nogurt, Rogurt, Wogurt, and Zogurt. And those are only the beginning, of course.

 

[blin18]

* Hogurt - vogurt made from prostitutes (ho's)

Brogurt?

Comes in a multi pack with Hogurt, but a dispenser devices ensures you eat all the Brogurt before Hogurt.

 

[Carnevil9]

Yo-Spurt - comes from the.... ah, you already know.

 

[tw_holt]

While I've never mixed food with vagina in real life, one reader told me it could cause problems (the son in my story licked chocolate syrup out of mom's vag). But perhaps eating yogurt out of a vagina could be part of the story. Girl makes it with her own cultures from vag. At the end nerdy college guys are eating from the "source."

 

[Hypoxia]

While I've never mixed food with vagina in real life, one reader told me it could cause problems (the son in my story licked chocolate syrup out of mom's vag).

If a food is very acidic or alkaline or peppery etc then yes, anything irritating any mucous membranes (does it burn your lips?) would be inadvisable in a vagina. But normal oral bacteria are probably worse than any microbes in food.

But perhaps eating yogurt out of a vagina could be part of the story. Girl makes it with her own cultures from vag. At the end nerdy college guys are eating from the "source."

I suggested that back in post #2: A competitive taste test, with entries sampled from their vaginas of origin? A sorority contest to generate the tastiest treat? Hey, all the sororities on campus compete for best flavor! The frats are happy, sure -- unless they're excluded. Cue the Bro-gurt production and competition.

 

[MatthewVett]

While I've never mixed food with vagina in real life, one reader told me it could cause problems (the son in my story licked chocolate syrup out of mom's vag). But perhaps eating yogurt out of a vagina could be part of the story. Girl makes it with her own cultures from vag. At the end nerdy college guys are eating from the "source."

Well, the big problem with this is that chocolate syrup has sugar, which yeast loves to eat, so you're basically asking for a yeast infection.

 

[Monazwx]

Yeah, I'm really trying to turn this into something in my mind, but I'm not feeling it.
(I'll came back later to see where this goes).

 

[tw_holt]

Well, the big problem with this is that chocolate syrup has sugar, which yeast loves to eat, so you're basically asking for a yeast infection.

Yep that's what the reader pointed out. again, i have no experience with involving food with sex. but that imagery is quite hot in my opinion.

 

[blin18]

I hate you guys. I had a dream about a Vogurt-based story idea.

Husband and wife read about Vogurt and decide to give it a go. After three weeks of Vogurt breakfasts, they're both sleeping better, more clear headed, energetic and sexualy potent. In short, Vogurt has become an integral part of their daily lives.

Hubby is an early riser and goes downstairs one morning before dawn to find the last Vogurt has been eaten and no culture to start a new one. Worse, he realizes it was his fault because he had one before bed. Wife was sleeping heavily still when he left with her nightie pulled up an no panties, he had in fact been tempted to slip her one earlier, but decided against it, and is now glad because it would have tainted his sample.

He figures he could probably sneak back upstairs with a wooden spoon and take a scraping without waking her. So away he goes, creeping quietly, wooden spoon in hand. He peels back the sheet to expose his sleeping wife and ... HORROR! THE INFAMOUS CREAMPIE BANDIT HAS BEEN THERE AHEAD OF HIM.

Brogurt anyone?

 

[Hypoxia]

HORROR! THE INFAMOUS CREAMPIE BANDIT HAS BEEN THERE AHEAD OF HIM.

Has this notorious Creampie Bandit cut a swathe of terror through bedrooms in the region? Do sex-satiated couples (and more) return to consciousness only to find their genitals vacuumed clean & dry? What's the link with the underground network of vogurt fanatics -- culture rings, they call themselves -- and the web of mysterious nutritional-supplement counterfeit-detectors? Who is that masked Purity Protector? Feeble minds want to know.

 

[blin18]

Has this notorious Creampie Bandit cut a swathe of terror through bedrooms in the region? Do sex-satiated couples (and more) return to consciousness only to find their genitals vacuumed clean & dry? What's the link with the underground network of vogurt fanatics -- culture rings, they call themselves -- and the web of mysterious nutritional-supplement counterfeit-detectors? Who is that masked Purity Protector? Feeble minds want to know.

Good questions all, but I told you, it was a dream. I woke in a cold sweat with the image of the Creampie Bandit's calling card burned into my retinas and didn't get back to sleep.

If the dream comes again (pun definitely intended) then I'll ask those questions, otherwise they'll just fade into the darkness like the bandit's furtive silhouette.

 

[Hypoxia]

If the dream comes again (pun definitely intended) then I'll ask those questions, otherwise they'll just fade into the darkness like the bandit's furtive silhouette.

Please ask! The concept of the Creampie Bandit -- I think that's new. Although I recall an old underground comix story about a decadent royal couple who kept a court dwarf with a freakishly long tongue to lick them clean after fuckings. But everyone was awake then. Yes, a Creampie Bandit, like a reverse Tooth Fairy -- cleans y'all up and leaves a used condom under your pillow (their signature).

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Maybe the Vogurt turns men into complete sex addicts for a week or so, and the opposite Cumgurt has the same effect on women. People try the opposite, only to have the men become functionally gay, but still promiscuous for a week and the women become lesbian sluts...

After that, people know the effects, but a lot of folks like them, so they're never recalled. Pranks, tricks, etc. ensue, such as friends turning faithful husbands and wives into swingers and cheaters for their own pleasure....etc. Monogamy breaks down completely and people have to figure out a new way to fight social diseases instead. Free love gradually becomes the order of the day and people forget what life was like before it. The Vogurt and Cumgurt become the most important products ever made or sold, completely changing society from the inside out.

Just some thoughts.

 

[Hypoxia]

Just some thoughts.

Sounds like a good April Fool's bunny.

 

[ShelbyBubbles]

You guys are thinking too hard about a name being a pun for it. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything that contains the word "gurt" in it. Since everyone already knows it's supposed to be yogurt of some sort, think about making a Brand name for it...like: Vagativia brand yogurt, now with fruit! Or perhaps Cuntaculture and it's great new flavors of yogurt. Yogurvag brands. Then go wild on the flavors. Also, what about a story about a farmer that makes icecream from the breast milk of women? He's got them lined up in the barn hooked up to milking machines and the cows have now been sent out to pasture...

 

[Hypoxia]

You guys are thinking too hard about a name being a pun for it. It doesn't necessarily have to be anything that contains the word "gurt" in it. Since everyone already knows it's supposed to be yogurt of some sort, think about making a Brand name for it...like: Vagativia brand yogurt, now with fruit! Or perhaps Cuntaculture and it's great new flavors of yogurt. Yogurvag brands. Then go wild on the flavors.

Are many competing producers: brand wars! Sneaky, viral marketing; sneaky, backstabbing negotiators; sabotage, discovery, retribution; focus groups; Chinese counterfeit yogurts at WalMart; underground labs brewing mutant strains, some of which escape into the wild with devastating effects; fundy jeezoid cults (or maybe ISIS) brewing strains to REDUCE arousal; etc.

Also, what about a story about a farmer that makes icecream from the breast milk of women? He's got them lined up in the barn hooked up to milking machines and the cows have now been sent out to pasture...

Great image. However, the cows (and bulls) are given IQ-boosting injections and other biochemicals that enable them to speak and thus demand a piece of the action. No, wait, forget that. Bye-bye, cows. Hello, harnessed women. Milked at both ends, yes -- Farmer John find that his "cows'" work best when their vaginal bacteria is cultured in their own breast milk. Of course the best producers are regularly serviced -- but by whom, or what? Farmers must conduct many experiments to find the optimal solutions. Oh damn, gotta fuck another one! Hey Randy, gimme a hand here, will ya?

Don't even think about tentacles.

 

[ShelbyBubbles]

lol....Move over Dairy Queen! New ice cream parlors popping up all over the place with commando cheerleaders serving up the sweets. Banana splits anyone?? lol

 

[Hypoxia]

lol....Move over Dairy Queen! New ice cream parlors popping up all over the place with commando cheerleaders serving up the sweets. Banana splits anyone?? lol

Of course the brew that turns men queer will be sold by Fairy Queen. But I digress. The best yogurt parlors' commando cheerleaders serve their own brews directly whilst reclining in upgraded ob/gyn chairs. The chain-store parlors just can't compete with that service. Thus, the chains' secret agents secretly infect unsuspecting dispersers whilst tasting the product. Oh, the vile schemers!

EDIT: Got cross-pollination from another thread.

Giant radioactive telepathic squids are directing the genital yogurt industry for their own purposes. Are they just sucking-up psychic energy, or do they have some nefarious use for human sexual secretions and excretions? Are they behind the notorious Creampie Bandit that steals genital juices from unconscious fuckers, especially yogurt culture sources?

Are yogurt parlors concentrated along coastlines, to be near the squids? Is yogurt consumption correlated with tentacle sex?

Meanwhile, do authorities ban yogurts cultured from underage sources? Is there an especially hot underground for such illicit brews? Do counterfeiters, hackers and mad-dog experimenters use nonhuman sources? To what effect?