Which death thread author is funnier?

[RobDownSouth]

*groan*


My eyes hurt now...

Try as you might, it can't always be about YOU, Chief.

 

[1sickbastard]

Eyer, after your last post on this thread, I believe I'll always think of you as an aborted fetus.

 

[dolf]

I'm reporting the poll for not having a Dolf option.

this.

 

[girlsmiley]

tl; Mr Obvious.

Eyer, I will try very hard to not be mean.

You do troll people here. You've invested much time and thought into this place. That's dedication. You invest as much thought as you can muster into all of your posts. Sometimes I appreciate that about you, but then sometimes I don't.

Because you are so very invasive and judgemental. And I'm not saying I'm not, but you and I are not on the same level. I respect how hard you try to get your point across, and I respect how hard you try to keep tabs. But i don't respect your incessant derogatory remarks towards women, their children, their right to quiet time and their space.

You are all up in everybody's business. Your concern for others seems to far exceed your own, which makes me question your ability to pass judgement. On anyone.

But other than that? You're completely harmless.

Your turn.

 

[eyer]

The single relevant and most supremely offensive action in the entire dance was some mean-spirited little prick disingenuously attempting to slap you around for the exact same act he had committed only months before (however inconsequential we might all [dis]agree that either or both "acts" were or were not), and that previous displays of his lack of character gave credence to the likelihood of his attempting to deny any such hypocrisy afforded by the disappearance of its evidence.

Nothing else came close.

Why can't you just admit your overly dramatic butthurt Corporal RINO, instead of now lying about the age of the post you dragged-up and lying that you have no other motive?

Why are you so butthurt about having to continually, over dramatically insist what a "mean-spirited little prick" I am, or about my "lack of character"...

...when the choir you're preaching to has "known" those very things from literally the first day I started posting here 5 years ago?

You fancy yourself some progressively righteous, GB Edward R. Marrow...

...when all you're doing is serving the same, old tepid leftovers to always starving lemmings?

Can't you dig up some more recent news to spill about me, Corporal RINO Butthurt? Can't you come up with something new to call me? Something new to assert against me? I know virtually every insult and dig has been exhausted in the last 5 years...

...so, if you need some help coming up with something new, just let me know and I'll spot you an advance on your next SS check so you get you a 10-day supply of Viagra.

 

[eyer]

Are you saying I don't know how to masturbate? Or I don't know how to masturbate to your threads? I don't find them exciting at all, I'm sorry.

Is it really that hard for you to understand, little birdie? (no pun intended, of course)...

...I'm saying you have no clue how or what I masturbate to, so you can't possibly have any idea what you're talking about whenever you insinuate you do - like you did.

What makes you insinuate what I masturbate to when you have no idea of that?

 

[eyer]

Eyer, after your last post on this thread, I believe I'll always think of you as an aborted fetus.

Cool...

...now, be sure to tell yo mama I still don't care what her little boy thinks - k?

 

[girlsmiley]

See? There you go again.

Snoresville.

People don't understand you, bro.

Speak normal!

 

[eyer]

Eyer, I will try very hard to not be mean.

Good for you...

...do I need to be impressed by such a self-imagined valiant effort?

Anytime, though, you just can't hold back and just have to show that mean side of yours, be assured that your "mean" isn't offensive to me anymore than your thread on ways to kill me was. I really don't want to burst another one of your naive bubbles, knowing you fantasize yourself such a badass if you want to be...

...but I've continually known first-hand for a very, very long time now the very meanest deeds human beings can possibly do in this world, and your being "mean" on an Internet forum just doesn't register at all compared to the real thing.

I understand you probably take that as some sort of insult...

...but, truly, your "mean" don't mean sh!t to me.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...

Sorry:

After reading your judgmental assessment all about how judgmental you rate me...

...that's all I got.

 

[girlsmiley]

Good for you...

...do I need to be impressed by such a self-imagined valiant effort?

Anytime, though, you just can't hold back and just have to show that mean side of yours, be assured that your "mean" isn't offensive to me anymore than your thread on ways to kill me was. I really don't want to burst another one of your naive bubbles, knowing you fantasize yourself such a badass if you want to be...

...but I've continually known first-hand for a very, very long time now the very meanest deeds human beings can possibly do in this world, and your being "mean" on an Internet forum just doesn't register at all compared to the real thing.

I understand you probably take that as some sort of insult...

...but, truly, your "mean" don't mean sh!t to me.



Sorry:

After reading your judgmental assessment all about how judgmental you rate me...

...that's all I got.

Well, to be honest...

... I didn't expect much more than that

 

[eyer]

See? There you go again.

Snoresville.

People don't understand you, bro.

Speak normal!

Learn to speak for yourself and, no doubt, others who feel exactly the same as you...

...for some "people" do "understand" me, child, no matter how fixated you must remain on yourself.

 

[eyer]

Well, to be honest...

... I didn't expect much more than that

Good, I'm happy your expectations are so low, 'cause I wouldn't want you to pen another thread about ways to kill me...

...I'm not sure you can handle another rejection so soon - you seem to still be in a little shock from the last one.

BTW:

Before your elderly knight in dull armor arrives once more under the auspices of defending your virtue again against such a "mean-spirited prick" like me (instead of nadding-up about the actual cause of his mighty butthurt)...

...have you noticed the primary difference between your thread and mine?

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I stopped reading when I read "eyer" in the OP. He is boring. Why does anyone pay any attention to him. I did for a minute, then regretted it.

 

[eyer]

I stopped reading when I read "eyer" in the OP. He is boring. Why does anyone pay any attention to him. I did for a minute, then regretted it...

...and then I just had to pen a post about him.

Did you vote, Funkenblack?

 

[RobDownSouth]

Learn to speak for yourself and, no doubt, others who feel exactly the same as you...

...for some "people" do "understand" me, child, no matter how fixated you must remain on yourself.

Name two people, and blood relations don't count.

 

[eyer]

Name two people, and blood relations don't count.

Neither does your opinion, playgrounder...

...and?

 

[Wrong Element]

My silly thread about ways to kill Eyer was reported by 5 posters, and deemed threatening and removed by admin. Even though Eyer himself said he has never felt threatened by me, in that thread or any other thread.

I suggested woodchipper and flamethrower etc. It wasn't serious. It was supposed to be a fun imaginary exercise for all. Fail. Giant, giant fail.

This really happened? Hell, busybody has wished me dead innumerable times over the years. DevilishTexan once told me he hoped I'd be hit by a bus, which I only remember because of its specific weirdness. No one, least of all me, has ever thought to report those as genuine threats or violations of board policy.

There are more brain-dead minions around this place than I realized.

 

[4est_4est_Gump]

Busybody wishing you dead is as serious as the buck rabbit assuring the cow that he will be gentle with her...

 

[domroger]

Had to vote GS as the other is on iggy .
I just wish more people would put him on ignore and stop quoting him .

 

[Wings]

Eyer annoys me mostly because of the way he writes out his arguments, which is to say in no rational way whatsoever but I'd never wish him dead. I didn't report GS's thread nor did I report Eyer's thread but I didn't like either one. Maybe my skin is thicker but I chose not to read them after the first post.

Eyer strikes me as an attention whore and the best way to defeat one of those is to ignore it. Of course I just wrote his screenname several times so I'm just as guilty of it as anyone else.

But seriously, do you think he speaks like a stroked-out Shatner? That's how I read all those ellipses.

 

[neci]

the parameters for posts are quite simple here. talk of killing someone is a threat. oh no! it was innocent kill talk! bullshit. a load of fucking bullshit, and they both know it.

i can't comment on which was funnier as i missed GS's and don't remember seeing ojo's. they are both whiney babies. i don't laugh at whiney babies.

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

And yet few put him on ignore and call it a day. It's like you all feed off each other or something.

 

[Wings]

And yet few put him on ignore and call it a day. It's like you all feed off each other or something.

Of course we do. Why do you get so aggravated by that? It's the GB, if we didn't have people we argued with it would be the Playground.

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

I'm barely awake enough to see the toilet, let alone be aggravated by internet spats.

 

[Cancerballs]

I know the answer to this, Colonel.

Nobody reported his thread.

I brought his thread to Laurel's attention last night, and she said "Oh, that wasn't reported. That shouldn't be in there."

Made me feel a whole lot better. NOT.

ETA: I brought Eyer's thread to Laurel's attention, yes. But not to have it removed! I gave her an example of a thread quite similar to mine in the hopes of better understanding.

Truth be told, Colonel, I couldn't be arsed reading his thread in its entirety. Therefore my thread must have been better.

#laurellikesyouratface