How to respond? Legal advice, ya'll.

[Garnate]

If there's one true thing about the HT, it's that people give great advice and I need some right now.

I was just given a registered letter from the courts in West Virginia. My son's father is petitioning to have his child support payments lowered and I'm supposed to be there for the hearing at 9am on March 23rd. I DON'T LIVE IN WV.

Here's my problem: I'm all for them lowering his payments; he doesn't pay his child support to begin with. He owes me thousands, and lowering what he owes me every month won't change things because he just doesn't pay. His last payment to me was $16.
I don't want to drive the 4.5 hrs the day before, pay for gas and a hotel room, in order to sit in court at 9am to listen to a judge lower the CS payments. My boyfriend would also have to take work off for that day to be here with my sons.

Can I write the court a letter telling them that I support any decision made, why I support it, and why I'd rather right an official letter instead of showing up in person?

 

[Harold_Hill]

I was just given a registered letter from the courts in West Virginia. My son's father is petitioning to have his child support payments lowered and I'm supposed to be there for the hearing at 9am on March 23rd. I DON'T LIVE IN WV.

Hire a lawyer locally and he can petition the court in Wear Virginia. This can be handled without you traveling to another state. There is a legal mechanism to handle this. Lawyers handle legal matters across state lines all the time. You should not allow him to lower his payments without challenging his reasons. It can set a bad precedent that could come back to haunt you in the future. Handle it through a lawyer, and ask that he pay the legal bills.

 

[imemkay]

My ex couldn't attend our support hearing because he lives in another state. He called the court when he was served and the court allowed him to "attend" by phone.

 

[Noor]

If there's one true thing about the HT, it's that people give great advice and I need some right now.

I was just given a registered letter from the courts in West Virginia. My son's father is petitioning to have his child support payments lowered and I'm supposed to be there for the hearing at 9am on March 23rd. I DON'T LIVE IN WV.

Here's my problem: I'm all for them lowering his payments; he doesn't pay his child support to begin with. He owes me thousands, and lowering what he owes me every month won't change things because he just doesn't pay. His last payment to me was $16.
I don't want to drive the 4.5 hrs the day before, pay for gas and a hotel room, in order to sit in court at 9am to listen to a judge lower the CS payments. My boyfriend would also have to take work off for that day to be here with my sons.

Can I write the court a letter telling them that I support any decision made, why I support it, and why I'd rather right an official letter instead of showing up in person?

Be very careful! I wouldn't say you support any decisions made because the court does have the power to erase past child support debt. I would also ask the court to do a garnishment for child support of something if you really want the money. Not sure what it's like where you are but here the state will collect child support if you wish or if it's court ordered.

What is his reasoning for lowering support? Usually there is a state formula, does his reasoning and income support the new amount?

 

[fire_breeze]

A very good friend of mine lives up here and his ex lives in Texas when a similar situation came up. He was able to attend telephonically and there was no problem. If I recall though, he did have a local lawyer present (I know it was a fight for him to get the kids so he wanted to make sure they weren't taken from him) but that was just a formality and to protect his interest. I am absolutely certain that the court will have this listed on their FAQ.

He did mention that the mother of their children neglected to pay child support. The judge garnished her wages so now she is stuck so the outcome came into my friend's favour despite she is the one who called the hearing. Just sayin'.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Noor]

Don't ignore it. I have seen child support hearings turn into custody hearings, it sounds weird and impossible but a family court judge can do a lot of things.

 

[Noor]

Call the judges clerk, tell her the polite version not what you just told us.
Ask what the "dispensation" procedure is for "undue geographic burden of response".
Chances are, they have something.
If you work, site the impact to employment and the children.
If there is ANY documented history of violence, raise that as can concern. You are concerned about exposing yourself to him.
Then, follow the clerk's recommendation.
Do Not, under any circumstance, state you support or agree with any thing.
If you feel you need record sent as too on locally, or if the clerk says you need someone, call the WVA state bar, ask for help locating pro bono representation. The State bar used to task members to a minimum number if hours each year and moist lawyers want to get it over with early in the year.

I agree with this!

 

[Siren_Smiles]

Does WV have jurisdiction? Were the previous CS arrangements ordered in WV or did he file there just because he lives there? If the children do not reside in WV and the state has no other reason to make changes to CS orders, you can file a request for dismissal and relocation to a more appropriate forum, where you reside. If there is standing for the case existing in WV and you don't wish to have it moved to where you (& the kids) currently reside, contact the clerk of court and ask what your options are for appearing by phone. You can also request a stay to simply reschedule to a more convenient time. The first request to reschedule is very rarely denied.

 

[Primalex]

Can I write the court a letter telling them that I support any decision made, why I support it, and why I'd rather right an official letter instead of showing up in person?

If you don't attend, the court is just going to grant the petition, as nobody is challenging it, which is anyway what you want. So legally, it doesn't matter, but it would be courteous to let the court know before that you don't intend to challenge the petition and that they don't need to wait for you.

There is just one minor drawback - legally, child support is the right of the child, not the right of the custodial parent - the custodial parent is just the legal guardian, taking care of the right of his or her child. So, when you don't challenge it, you are neglecting the rights of your child, which in turn can have other legal consequences, because your job is of course to take care of the rights of your child, even if it's annoying.

 

[willlph]

Hire a lawyer locally and he can petition the court in Wear Virginia. This can be handled without you traveling to another state. There is a legal mechanism to handle this. Lawyers handle legal matters across state lines all the time. You should not allow him to lower his payments without challenging his reasons. It can set a bad precedent that could come back to haunt you in the future. Handle it through a lawyer, and ask that he pay the legal bills.

I 2nd this motion ^^^

 

[Garnate]

Whew! I knew I could count on you folks. There's so much to consider that talking to a lawyer would be the smartest thing. In 2011 he made over $100,000 under the table, which he stupidly bragged to me about while high on pills in 2012. He never paid a dime in support in 2011 OR 2012. No way I can prove it, though.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Garnate]

I'd tell that to a lawyer for sure.

Did you get my text?

No! Sorry, just saw it. Thanks, love. Today has been kind of nuts and now the boys are home.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Garnate]

I should not be allowed to type while in a hurry and using a small screen...

Your info was helpful! I'll seek out legal council. See if I can change the jurisdiction since CS was set 9 years ago in Ohio and neither of us live there. Go after back-owed payments, etc.

My initial thought when I read the letter was "Lower the payments to WHAT? Nothing??" because I'm used to him not paying and I've never once raised hell about it. He has two other children he owes child support on now so he really can't afford anything. I had the wrong attitude, though. I won't roll over and let a judge out of state lower it without taking care of what he already owes me first.

 

[juttjaw]

Call the judges clerk, tell her the polite version not what you just told us.
Ask what the "dispensation" procedure is for "undue geographic burden of response".
Chances are, they have something.
If you work, site the impact to employment and the children.
If there is ANY documented history of violence, raise that as can concern. You are concerned about exposing yourself to him.
Then, follow the clerk's recommendation.
Do Not, under any circumstance, state you support or agree with any thing.
If you feel you need record sent as too on locally, or if the clerk says you need someone, call the WVA state bar, ask for help locating pro bono representation. The State bar used to task members to a minimum number if hours each year and moist lawyers want to get it over with early in the year.

As an ex and a person who has gone through 3 years of battles with divorce and custody, I support this with WHOLE HEARTED FERVOR!! Plus.. what a dumb fuck for going to court when he doesn't pay anything for child support.. Pretty sure that's a felony. Even in WV...

 

[juttjaw]

Your info was helpful! I'll seek out legal council. See if I can change the jurisdiction since CS was set 9 years ago in Ohio and neither of us live there. Go after back-owed payments, etc.

My initial thought when I read the letter was "Lower the payments to WHAT? Nothing??" because I'm used to him not paying and I've never once raised hell about it. He has two other children he owes child support on now so he really can't afford anything. I had the wrong attitude, though. I won't roll over and let a judge out of state lower it without taking care of what he already owes me first.

Good for you Coming from a father who pays $2,000 a month in CS... But it's due.. all you FUCKS out there who don't... are... pieces.. of.. shit.. from.. my.. malfunctioning.. septic.. system...........

 

[Garnate]

As an ex and a person who has gone through 3 years of battles with divorce and custody, I support this with WHOLE HEARTED FERVOR!! Plus.. what a dumb fuck for going to court when he doesn't pay anything for child support.. Pretty sure that's a felony. Even in WV...

His M.O. has always been: Work and get paid under the table until the court threatens to lock him up, have employer (his ex wife's father at the time) take child support out of his checks for two consecutive weeks, and then go back to getting paid under the table. That went on for years. And then for a few years he just claimed he was out of work and missed court dates. He has never once been locked up. Either they threatened to take his driver's license or they actually suspended it and he drove anyway. I haven't had much contact with him since our son was born. I should've known he'd pull this since he's been paying little amounts (usually $16) pretty consistently the last 2 months. He owes $481 per month, $64 isn't going to cut it.

 

[Garnate]

Good for you Coming from a father who pays $2,000 a month in CS... But it's due.. all you FUCKS out there who don't... are... pieces.. of.. shit.. from.. my.. malfunctioning.. septic.. system...........

 

[juttjaw]

His M.O. has always been: Work and get paid under the table until the court threatens to lock him up, have employer (his ex wife's father at the time) take child support out of his checks for two consecutive weeks, and then go back to getting paid under the table. That went on for years. And then for a few years he just claimed he was out of work and missed court dates. He has never once been locked up. Either they threatened to take his driver's license or they actually suspended it and he drove anyway. I haven't had much contact with him since our son was born. I should've known he'd pull this since he's been paying little amounts (usually $16) pretty consistently the last 2 months. He owes $481 per month, $64 isn't going to cut it.

I'll tell ya what.. You do whatever you have to do. Me and a lot of other with say things like "Go For His BALLS!" and "Don't take that shit and get a lawyer and take him down!" and as true as those statements are... It's all worth you level of your give a shit. Don't let him walk all over you and your son, but also, you only do what you care enough to pursue. Over time, he'll have to get a job and pay taxes.. It'll catch up to his dumb ass.. He can only duck the system for so long. And if he doesn't get caught.. What a completely worthless life.. living to get out of child support. I'll make sure to beat the shit out of him when I met him in hell.... hows that?

 

[Garnate]

I'll tell ya what.. You do whatever you have to do. Me and a lot of other with say things like "Go For His BALLS!" and "Don't take that shit and get a lawyer and take him down!" and as true as those statements are... It's all worth you level of your give a shit. Don't let him walk all over you and your son, but also, you only do what you care enough to pursue. Over time, he'll have to get a job and pay taxes.. It'll catch up to his dumb ass.. He can only duck the system for so long. And if he doesn't get caught.. What a completely worthless life.. living to get out of child support. I'll make sure to beat the shit out of him when I met him in hell.... hows that?

/thread


hahahahaaa You're priceless.

 

[juttjaw]

/thread


hahahahaaa You're priceless.

Really? Cause I have my prices.. I need money.... Whatcha got?

 

[juttjaw]

I'm watching "How Its Made" and they are making Teepee's... pretty sure I can do that.. Need a teepee? (selling point) sure beats the hell out of a tent.. I think. I've never actually slept in a teepee..

 

[simplegirl]

I'm no lawyer and I've never been in this situation, so hopefully someone can chime in on this. But if (and this is a very big if), he refuses to pay child support and is looking to have past owings excused (is he involved with the child at all? does he get visitation?) I'd see if it's possible as a stipulation that if he gets out of paying, that he should relinquish all rights to the child, allowing the child to be adopted without contest by your husband, should you marry.

It seems to me that if he's claiming to be always out of work, the court can look and see if he has any assets. You can't claim to be continually unemployed yet drive a new car and have a big house. Depending on the laws, he could be required to liquidate those assets to pay you your back payments. You could also see about his being an unfit parent as it sounds he's into drugs as he could determine that since he's paying, he wants to see the kids more often.

Definitely talk to a lawyer as there are many ins and outs in these situations. They are sure to bring up issues and possibilities that you wouldn't consider on your own. You need to protect yourself and your children #1. Another thing that lawyers love is a journal. If you don't keep one, then start. Keep track of everything. Write down how much he pays you and when. When does he call and talk to his kids? Anything he says to you, etc... Any account with dates is gold to them, rather than saying "he always calls drunk to talk to the kids" ("always", or "often" are very subjective, you could mean twice a year or you could mean 20 times a week), you can say he called on Feb 8th drunk, called on Feb 15th screaming and yelling, he paid $16 on the 16th, etc... it really helps paint a clear picture of the situation.