Grace: please explain the many references

[Wings]

Mmm. Reci hugged the boy, I believe. I told her I wanted to punch her in the face. I was so mad...

Don't be too hard on yourself, Wings. There are monsters everywhere. It's not your fault.

Reci started the story saying she "fooled around" with the kid. I don't believe her because she started backpedaling when the backlash started. It's not a big deal but I do want to make it clear why I don't believe it.

Grace wasn't my fault, she was no one's fault but her own. I already apologized to the board, several times in fact, for being obnoxious when she was around but even then they could have put me on ignore.

 

[Que]

No one else's behavior is anyone else's "fault." Further, no one should be expected to be able to predict in advance of actually finding holes in someone's character that such flaws might exist.

I find it interesting the hue and cry over for example someone being taken in by a catfish scheme. A person is who they present themselves to be unless and until they present as someone else.

The two issues that cause problems are in direct conflict with each other and it has to do with trying to allow people to be human:

On the one hand the idea that "so and so said/did/thought such and such once upon a time" is overly judgmental and does not allow for growth.

On the other hand, past performance and especially recent performance is the best predictor of future behavior. Sometimes current bad behavior is excused on the strength of longevity of friendships, and other positive traits that one knows about the person. i.e. "I don't like this or that, but they are such a worthwhile person in this other area."

 

[Wings]

No one else's behavior is anyone else's "fault." Further, no one should be expected to be able to predict in advance of actually finding holes in someone's character that such flaws might exist.

I find it interesting the hue and cry over for example someone being taken in by a catfish scheme. A person is who they present themselves to be unless and until they present as someone else.

The two issues that cause problems are in direct conflict with each other and it has to do with trying to allow people to be human:

On the one hand the idea that "so and so said/did/thought such and such once upon a time" is overly judgmental and does not allow for growth.

On the other hand, past performance and especially recent performance is the best predictor of future behavior. Sometimes current bad behavior is excused on the strength of longevity of friendships, and other positive traits that one knows about the person. i.e. "I don't like this or that, but they are such a worthwhile person in this other area."

So you understand when people excuse their friends' bad behaviors?

 

[girlsmiley]

Reci started the story saying she "fooled around" with the kid. I don't believe her because she started backpedaling when the backlash started. It's not a big deal but I do want to make it clear why I don't believe it.

Grace wasn't my fault, she was no one's fault but her own. I already apologized to the board, several times in fact, for being obnoxious when she was around but even then they could have put me on ignore.

Mmm.

Yeah, to be honest it's quite hard to accept an apology when people harp on about being told to GTFO of the blurty thread. Like, continue to make sly remarks and "jokes" in the new thread about the people who told you you were being obnoxious in the first place.

But hey, that's all water under the bridge. Well, it is for me anyway.

You seem happier these days, so that's great. I'm happy for you.

 

[Wings]

Mmm.

Yeah, to be honest it's quite hard to accept an apology when people harp on about being told to GTFO of the blurty thread. Like, continue to make sly remarks and "jokes" in the new thread about the people who told you you were being obnoxious in the first place.

But hey, that's all water under the bridge. Well, it is for me anyway.

You seem happier these days, so that's great. I'm happy for you.

I'd get goofy and obnoxious again in a heartbeat if I could go back to the light-hearted days. I'm wiser though, so probably not in the same way. That was my "old days" for my own personal recollection. Just like everyone has their own personal old days when things were fun and good on Lit. Those were mine.

Of course I had a lot of fun when I was a teenager too but that doesn't mean I want to act like that again.

Anyway, thanks.

 

[eyer]

My story has always been that she continued to meet his demands because that's what she told me in her message to me when she saw me defending her, I don't believe it went on for long but anything past knowing how old he was is unacceptable to me.

Your "story has always been that"?

You've related this "story" on the GB before?

I believe we texted a time or two, that was it.

When - exactly - did this "time or two, that was it", happen?

You now claim one of those "time or two" was evidently after seaniepoo outed her, cause you were defending her, right?

Are you actually claiming you and Grace only texted one other time than that?

That one or two texts was the whole of your relationship here, and one of those was after seaniepoo outed her?

Seriously?

H3ll, even I can claim 3 or 4...

...you wanna claim Farrah only shared "one or two, that's it" texts with Grace, too?

I will not tell other people's stories.

Yet, you don't seem to have any problem at all telling your version of Grace's story...

...nice try.

If some of the guys she was playing want to talk about it they can but it's not my problem.

You and Farrah are the only two posters on the entire GB I've ever read mention anything about Grace "playing" anyone on the GB - and you both began wailing and lamenting and rending your twisted panties about that on the GB literally the day after seaniepoo outed her...

...neither of you've had any problem airing your totally generalized melodramatic descriptions of the massive harm big, bad Grace caused to these poor boy friends of yours on the GB, yet you've both always had this same "problem" of explaining such fabricated misery when asked.

I'll be completely honest with you, Wings:

I believe you're just lying again to suit your own good.

You, Farrah, and Grace publicly enjoyed a friendly relationship posting on this Board the entire time she was here - I believe you're flat-out lying again when you say you two texted only a "time or two, that's it".

That friendly relationship didn't change in any degree until seaniepoo outed her and all your progressive playgrounder pals smelt the let blood and began piling on, too. That's when both you and Farrah did a 180 on Grace and began demonizing her yourselves by insinuating melodramatic tales of personal betrayal and emotional hurt to all these poor guys on LIT - which you've both always have a "problem" of actually explaining every time you've been asked to.

You're currently on record in another thread for lying for your own good, and then when confronted with it, you dismiss it as a "mistake" (while conveniently not addressing the other lie you fabricated to support that "mistake")...

...so the fact that you so easily share the parts of Grace's story which you seem to believe you can massage for your own good, but then refuse to share other parts of the same story which you'd no doubt have a much more difficult massaging toward your own good, tells a whole bunch more than what you're honestly willing to.

 

[eyer]

I changed my mind on this one.

Oops.

 

[Wings]

My own good? If I wanted to do things for my own good I'd never admit to having contact with Grace. You are so far off base, Eyer.

GS asked if I knew her in the meat world. The only contact I had with her outside of Lit was a few texts. We did exchange some PMs but most of our goofing off was on the board, hence why people got so angry with us.

I save everything, Eyer. Everything. I'd be careful about backing up a story you don't know all the details to.

 

[Que]

So you understand when people excuse their friends' bad behaviors?

I understand why they do it. Depending on the behavior I may or may not approve of the choice they make. It is, ultimately their choice.

 

[Littlefinger]

I understand why they do it. Depending on the behavior I may or may not approve of the choice they make. It is, ultimately their choice.

So, what? If I want to interact in any kind of non-antagonistic manner with somebody, I have to first, go through all their posts and denounce anything that I find disagreeable, publicly? Fuck that.

1. most of us don't know each other off this board. It's all very disconnected and ephemeral to the point where one conversation is as meaningful as the napkin I blew my nose with this morning or the Q-tip I used to clean my ear. Yes, it was a good time, yes, we got out some stuff that needed to get out. Do we keep it? Do we hang onto it? Do I take to work with me dolf or Fata's Isolated Blurt that one time? Let's fucking hope not.

2. If people do know people off of these boards, then let us hope they can appreciate the more breadth of that person than any of us ever will, especially in the scope of heated conversations where personal investments and biases are revealed. If I was posting here with my best friend and she said some slightly, vaguely racists things about Obama, stuff that has not nor probably ever will again come up in my dealings with her outside of this board, am I held responsbile for her behavior? Am I to be her father now? Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.

 

[Cancerballs]

So you understand when people excuse their friends' bad behaviors?

Sometimes daughters forgive their fathers for horrendous acts that they once commited upon them. You should PM query and he can tell you all about it, I had a femle alt and I pretended to be into that whole scene and over time he told me more and more stories about him and his daug....You should probably just ask him for yourself.

 

[eyer]

My own good? If I wanted to do things for my own good I'd never admit to having contact with Grace.

Do you even realize how idiotic that is?

Too many here knew the contact you and Grace and Farrah regaled in here...

...how can you even fantasize that you could possibly get away with never admitting that? You would've been called out long before I called you out.

No, you're simply admitting what I've already charged you with:

You did want to distance yourself away from Grace as much as you possibly could after seaniepoo outed her and all your playgrounder pals started jumping on, too.

I save everything, Eyer. Everything. I'd be careful about backing up a story you don't know all the details to.

What "story" would that be? Why don't you just share your "story" and we can all then judge how "careful" you should be?

Why do you fantasize you can hurt me in any way whatsoever because I don't know the details of a "story" that you proclaim exists? Are you serious?

Come on: finally tell the Board what you and Farrah got so friggin butthurt about; elaborate on the devastation Grace wrought upon your playgrounder boyfriends here; tells us exactly how just another poster on the GB wreaked so much havoc upon such poor, innocent posters as yourselves.

Go ahead...

...tell us another "story", Wings.

 

[Que]

So, what? If I want to interact in any kind of non-antagonistic manner with somebody, I have to first, go through all their posts and denounce anything that I find disagreeable, publicly? Fuck that.

1. most of us don't know each other off this board. It's all very disconnected and ephemeral to the point where one conversation is as meaningful as the napkin I blew my nose with this morning or the Q-tip I used to clean my ear. Yes, it was a good time, yes, we got out some stuff that needed to get out. Do we keep it? Do we hang onto it? Do I take to work with me dolf or Fata's Isolated Blurt that one time? Let's fucking hope not.

2. If people do know people off of these boards, then let us hope they can appreciate the more breadth of that person than any of us ever will, especially in the scope of heated conversations where personal investments and biases are revealed. If I was posting here with my best friend and she said some slightly, vaguely racists things about Obama, stuff that has not nor probably ever will again come up in my dealings with her outside of this board, am I held responsbile for her behavior? Am I to be her father now? Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.

I am mostly concerned when mid controversy someone leaps to the persons defense, excusing an offense as it happens, then whether they do or do not ostracize them.

 

[DesEsseintes]

So, what? If I want to interact in any kind of non-antagonistic manner with somebody, I have to first, go through all their posts and denounce anything that I find disagreeable, publicly? Fuck that.

1. most of us don't know each other off this board. It's all very disconnected and ephemeral to the point where one conversation is as meaningful as the napkin I blew my nose with this morning or the Q-tip I used to clean my ear. Yes, it was a good time, yes, we got out some stuff that needed to get out. Do we keep it? Do we hang onto it? Do I take to work with me dolf or Fata's Isolated Blurt that one time? Let's fucking hope not.

2. If people do know people off of these boards, then let us hope they can appreciate the more breadth of that person than any of us ever will, especially in the scope of heated conversations where personal investments and biases are revealed. If I was posting here with my best friend and she said some slightly, vaguely racists things about Obama, stuff that has not nor probably ever will again come up in my dealings with her outside of this board, am I held responsbile for her behavior? Am I to be her father now? Get the fuck out of here with that bullshit.

Quite. 'Am I my brother's keeper?'

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I don't understand why Wings being friendly with Grace matters. So her e-friend turned out to be a loser, it happens. Why is anyone harping on that?

 

[Littlefinger]

Quite. 'Am I my brother's keeper?'

Well, on a forum where people will often focus on one aspect of a person's personality to demonize, I don't feel obligated to play the little back and forth games where one thing has caused someone to take offense. Let's say this friend only ever posts controversial opinions in political threads but my relationship with her is everything but political and focuses on all the other facets of her personality and what she brings to my life off these boards. If it is known that I am her friend and whatever they decide to label her with gets tied to me as a result when I say, "Not my issue; no comment" how the fuck is that fair? how is that reasonable?

Or how about this "my best friend is a grown woman and she can make her own choices, good or bad and it does not have to involve me just because I know her and bonded with her on a different level than could ever be articulated or displayed on this forum."?

 

[DesEsseintes]

I don't understand why Wings being friendly with Grace matters. So her e-friend turned out to be a loser, it happens. Why is anyone harping on that?

Isn't it only eyer harping on that? I don't think he counts. He's less a human being and more an animatronic Litcyclopaedia, quoting chapter and verse on long-ago events no-one else cares about. He ought to be on an obscure digital channel doing conspiracy theory programmes about C-list events.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Well, on a forum where people will often focus on one aspect of a person's personality to demonize, I don't feel obligated to play the little back and forth games where one thing has caused someone to take offense. Let's say this friend only ever posts controversial opinions in political threads but my relationship with her is everything but political and focuses on all the other facets of her personality and what she brings to my life off these boards. If it is known that I am her friend and whatever they decide to label her with gets tied to me as a result when I say, "Not my issue; no comment" how the fuck is that fair? how is that reasonable?

Or how about this "my best friend is a grown woman and she can make her own choices, good or bad and it does not have to involve me just because I know her and bonded with her on a different level than could ever be articulated or displayed on this forum."?

Absolutely. Just to be clear, I wasn't being sarcastic - I completely agree with you. Goodness knows I wouldn't want my friends here, online and offline, to have to account for everything I have ever said.

 

[Mr_Jon_Thon]

We're all supposed to be on the same page as to who we hate and ostracize. Stick to the collective and you get free cookies.

 

[eyer]

I don't understand why Wings being friendly with Grace matters. So her e-friend turned out to be a loser, it happens. Why is anyone harping on that?

Grace and Wings and Farrah were bestest of buds here on the GB...

...and then seaniepoo outed Grace and all the playgrounders began following his cue and piling on, and literally the very next day Wings and Farrah began their assaults on her themselves.

Why?

Because, they said, she butthurted so many of their guy friends here on the GB...

...still waiting for Wings to tell her "story" about it, though.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Grace and Wings and Farrah were bestest of buds here on the GB...

...and then seaniepoo outed Grace and all the playgrounders began following his cue and piling on, and literally the very next day Wings and Farrah began their assaults on her themselves.

Why?

Because, they said, she butthurted so many of their guy friends here on the GB...

...still waiting for Wings to tell her "story" about it, though.

So? What story? Her e-friend turned out to be a loser, and Wings acted accordingly. End of story. There is nothing more to tell.

 

[eyer]

Isn't it only eyer harping on that? I don't think he counts. He's less a human being and more an animatronic Litcyclopaedia, quoting chapter and verse on long-ago events no-one else cares about. He ought to be on an obscure digital channel doing conspiracy theory programmes about C-list events.

You should thank God for me, playgrounder...

...for if not for your postings which contain references to me, you'd post nothing else but playground things.

 

[Littlefinger]

Actually, eyer, seems like even his posts about you feel all "playgrounder-y". Are you sure it's not you who makes this place feel like the Playground?

 

[DesEsseintes]

You should thank God for me, playgrounder...

...for if not for your postings which contain references to me, you'd post nothing else but playground things.

You keep going that way, eyer, and you might yet make my Top 100 Stalkers. It comes across as a tiny bit gay, but that's fine - I'm open-minded. Shake your little mushroom to whatever jerks your pulse.

For future reference, I believe in no God but myself.

 

[DesEsseintes]

Actually, eyer, seems like even his posts about you feel all "playgrounder-y". Are you sure it's not you who makes this place feel like the Playground?

I've asked eyer before what would constitute a non-playgrounder post, but I think the label attaches to the poster rather than the post. I'd love to know what I could write that would NOT be 'playgrounder'.