Superbowl Viewing

[JohnnySavage]

So some old buddies back on the Mountain keep pestering me to come up for a Superbowl party. It's a 3-hour drive, which is about an hour past my limit for being in a car. They drink like fish and I'm beyond the point in my life when I want to sit around with drunk people yelling at the tv. I don't care much about either team playing. There will be shooting of firearms from the back porch, post-game and I'm the one most likely to get hit by a stray bullet.

On the other hand, a lady-friend of mine down here wants me to come over to watch the game at her house. The problem with that is that I'd have to shower, shave and put on clean pants. And I wouldn't be comfortable because with Shelias around, you can't really lift a cheek and fart, or scratch your sack when you want to. She keeps her house too cold for me as well.

I'm thinking I may just pretend to be sick and stay home. I have a great 7-layer dip recipe and I can be comfortable in my own nest.

 

[toubab]

So some old buddies back on the Mountain keep pestering me to come up for a Superbowl party. It's a 3-hour drive, which is about an hour past my limit for being in a car. They drink like fish and I'm beyond the point in my life when I want to sit around with drunk people yelling at the tv. I don't care much about either team playing. There will be shooting of firearms from the back porch, post-game and I'm the one most likely to get hit by a stray bullet.

On the other hand, a lady-friend of mine down here wants me to come over to watch the game at her house. The problem with that is that I'd have to shower, shave and put on clean pants. And I wouldn't be comfortable because with Shelias around, you can't really lift a cheek and fart, or scratch your sack when you want to. She keeps her house too cold for me as well.

I'm thinking I may just pretend to be sick and stay home. I have a great 7-layer dip recipe and I can be comfortable in my own nest.

I want to watch the game, and I don't want any distractions. I will be watching it at home, and I hope by myself. Sometimes I don't want company.

 

[unregistered]

 

[JohnnySavage]

I found an Italian bistro that has one helluva Superbowl special.

Don't post my personal info

 

[Wings]

Will she be giving you a blowie during halftime?

 

[unregistered]

 

[JohnnySavage]

Will she be giving you a blowie during halftime?

Unlikely. I was friend-zoned years ago.

 

[neci]

Unlikely. I was friend-zoned years ago.

stay home. then you don't have to mess with drunks on the road after the game.

 

[JohnnySavage]

stay home. then you don't have to mess with drunks on the road after the game.

Or put on clean pants.

 

[neci]

Or put on clean pants.

win/win.

 

[cjh]

Unlikely. I was friend-zoned years ago.

You should have used the gravy.

 

[unregistered]

 

[JohnnySavage]

You should have used the gravy.

You may find this impossible to believe, based upon my skill as an internet ass-wrangler; but, in real life Johnny has never had much luck with the ladies.

 

[JohnnySavage]

And, wtf is Friend Zoned?


Am I missing out?



Christ.

It's when a lovely lady asks you to help her trim the outside bushes, but asks someone else to help trim the inside one.

 

[unregistered]

 

[unregistered]

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Check the inflation . . . .

 

[Bidin~Time]

I would offer to help, but I'm working Sunday...which, btw is worse than being friend zoned.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Work pays better.


I'm on call, so I'm kinda working.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Bidin~Time]

Work pays better.


I'm on call, so I'm kinda working.

You are wise and my creditors agree with you.

I was making a list of women that I did not want friend zoning me and here you are.

aw lawd, a silver tongued devil if ever I saw one.

 

[Not Normal]

Internet ass-wrangler...HA!

I won't be watching. I couldn't care less about football? (its football, right, the baseball one is in the fall...right?)

 

[MrRandyWatson]

Last year's Super Bowl was the last thing of any substance I got to do with my MIL before she went into the hospital for the final time. So I will be watching the same place as I did last year - my living room. With chicken wings. That I am making.

And if my wife and I get frisky while Katy Perry's on stage, I'm all for it. Beyonce led to some fun a few years ago for us.

 

[Que]

So some old buddies back on the Mountain keep pestering me to come up for a Superbowl party. It's a 3-hour drive, which is about an hour past my limit for being in a car. They drink like fish and I'm beyond the point in my life when I want to sit around with drunk people yelling at the tv. I don't care much about either team playing. There will be shooting of firearms from the back porch, post-game and I'm the one most likely to get hit by a stray bullet.

On the other hand, a lady-friend of mine down here wants me to come over to watch the game at her house. The problem with that is that I'd have to shower, shave and put on clean pants. And I wouldn't be comfortable because with Shelias around, you can't really lift a cheek and fart, or scratch your sack when you want to. She keeps her house too cold for me as well.

I'm thinking I may just pretend to be sick and stay home. I have a great 7-layer dip recipe and I can be comfortable in my own nest.

I don't know, the shooting of firearms off the back porch seems a pretty nice incentive to make the drive.

The last couple of years, I have headed down to the Cafe/Bar since I don't have any live TV and I worry that my tenuous man-card will be pulled if I cannot at least identify which teams played in the Superbowl. Strangely deserted there. I think most people seek out a bigger screen than they have there. Sports are usually on, but it is not a sports bar.

Maybe this year I should go to the deserted shooting range during the game and lie about seeing it.

I may be in town that day. Be weird to drive by such a big event with no interest.

ETA: I hope that when Johnny makes his scrumptious 7-layer dip, he is cure to make the Guacamole layer from scratch? Just ripe avocado, crushed garlic, salt and a squeeze of lime. I add some finely-minced cilantro to mine.