Tipping cows

[parodyluvr75]

I'd rather not get into details, but my obsession may have already reached it's tipping point.

I may have to back off, at least for now.

If anyone asks, I was here all night.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WjNlxgZJi3s/TaSzabVo9sI/AAAAAAAAABo/OHLFC7sPbC0/s320/commensalism.jpg

 

[lovetoread]

Its not as fun as one would think it was.

 

[arizona2000]

I never the appeal of pushing over an animal, unless it's a man.

 

[Riles]

I stay within the expected 15 to 20%

 

[Lord Pmann]

Poor cows.

 

[Riles]

Poor cows.

They usually have a long(ish) and prosperous life.

Steers on the other hand...

 

[phrodeau]

Hey, my steak has bruises.

 

[bronzeage]

I stay within the expected 15 to 20%

I wouldn't tip a cow unless she milked herself.

 

[cowslinger64]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3430vZg_vUY

 

[CandiCame]

See also: "Idiots go to the hospital and get stitches because they were attacked by cows".

I've never, in my life, seen anyone attempt this. I always thought it wasn't a real thing. Because a cow will fuck you right up.

 

[jomar]

Ahh, youth. Harder than you think.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Its not as fun as one would think it was.

I've never done it, but I've been told,

I never the appeal of pushing over an animal, unless it's a man.

Romantic.

I stay within the expected 15 to 20%

That's expected.

Poor cows.

No cows were harmed in the making of this thread.

Hey, my steak has bruises.

It's called tenderizing.

 

[MNGuy]

Cow tipping is a myth. Cows are too damn big to tip over. It is a story to freak out urbanites.

 

[pointless]

Cow tipping is a myth. Cows are too damn big to tip over. It is a story to freak out urbanites.

pretty much. i mean who the fuck wants to go out in a cow pasture at night anyway? someone who hates their shoes?

 

[jomar]

pretty much. i mean who the fuck wants to go out in a cow pasture at night anyway? someone who hates their shoes?

Drunk college dudes for the most part.

 

[phrodeau]

http://cdn.modernfarmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/the-tipping-point-sidebar-fixed.jpg

 

[CandiCame]

pretty much. i mean who the fuck wants to go out in a cow pasture at night anyway? someone who hates their shoes?

At night? They're in the barn asleep at night. If you were gonna shove one over you'd have to do it while they were awake, standing up. I mean even if you did have the strength necessary to roll a sleeping cow on her side, she'd just kick you until you died. Because she's already laying down and a cow laying on her side will kick the SHIT out of literally anything. Her friends, her own kids, whatever. And that kinda kick kills people. Right in the organs.

 

[CandiCame]

http://cdn.modernfarmer.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/the-tipping-point-sidebar-fixed.jpg

Yeah but... the strength isn't the problem. People flip cars and trucks and shit. The problem is that the vehicle will sit there and take it. The cow won't. In fact, I've seen car vs cow- the cow wins every time. Not just in the 'which is more difficult to flip over' category. But if you hit a cow with a car, it'll fuck up your car and the cow will just be like, "FUCK YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" unless it's a baby I guess. All the 'hitting a cow with a car' experience I have is with adults.

Here's a gif.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7IVGI7-FErE/UyH__OerbJI/AAAAAAAAIbw/CoTZ1geDwk8/s1600/i.chzbgr-15.gif

If you're a child and you're inside a car and the cows come and surround it... it's not a happy time.

I'm not super fond of cows. I may have had a traumatic childhood or someshit. Never really thought about it.

 

[Mike_Yates]

My father did this once with a bunch of his friends when he was very young (he was drunk) and the cow ended up falling on him.

Fortunately he wasn't too seriously hurt, just a few broken ribs.

 

[CandiCame]

This is completely unrelated but I'm super tired and my train of thought put it here so you're going to hear about it. There's this stupid bitch who was, at one time, married to one of my relatives. They broke up and she, as is custom, got all the shit that was once theirs. Among these items was a bunch of horses that she doesn't take care of. And I recently hit one with my car because I don't expect there to be RANDOM BARNYARD ANIMALS IN THE PUBLIC ROAD YOU STUPID BITCH. And it caused a bunch of damage, ripped the mirror off, knocked it out of line, and pissed the horse right off. So apparently horses and cows are similar in the respect that they are immune to cars.

She's seriously pissing me off. For a variety of reasons, but mostly animal abuse. She does not take care of those horses at all and I really wish somebody would steal them. So if anybody needs a horse. Come and get them. They're just wandering around.

 

[Riles]

Here's a gif.

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7IVGI7-FErE/UyH__OerbJI/AAAAAAAAIbw/CoTZ1geDwk8/s1600/i.chzbgr-15.gif

Not a cow.

 

[Riles]

This is completely unrelated but I'm super tired and my train of thought put it here so you're going to hear about it. There's this stupid bitch who was, at one time, married to one of my relatives. They broke up and she, as is custom, got all the shit that was once theirs. Among these items was a bunch of horses that she doesn't take care of. And I recently hit one with my car because I don't expect there to be RANDOM BARNYARD ANIMALS IN THE PUBLIC ROAD YOU STUPID BITCH. And it caused a bunch of damage, ripped the mirror off, knocked it out of line, and pissed the horse right off. So apparently horses and cows are similar in the respect that they are immune to cars.

She's seriously pissing me off. For a variety of reasons, but mostly animal abuse. She does not take care of those horses at all and I really wish somebody would steal them. So if anybody needs a horse. Come and get them. They're just wandering around.

Dial the SPCA

 

[CandiCame]

Not a cow.

But the most accurate gif I could find. There's not a huge difference in strength between genders. In MOST species. Don't know why people have such a problem understanding that.

 

[Riles]

But the most accurate gif I could find. There's not a huge difference in strength between genders. In MOST species. Don't know why people have such a problem understanding that.

Dude, have you actually stood next to a mature bull vs a cow?

Unless you mean "no difference" when you are on the end of a rope holding either one because no matter what, person vs cow or person vs bull = person being dragged through the shit.

 

[CandiCame]

Dude, have you actually stood next to a mature bull vs a cow?

Unless you mean "no difference" when you are on the end of a rope holding either one because no matter what, person vs cow or person vs bull = person being dragged through the shit.

Yeah. I spent every summer of my life on a free range dairy farm. It's why I'm not a fan of them. Those fuckers have eaten my hair, thrown me into electric fences, broken my toys on purpose, pushed me into rivers, broken cars in front of me, given me ticks- gave me ticks a LOT actually. I really didn't want to go because I KNEW that I'd get ticks. That's really the worst part.

Don't really want to get into a gendered debate because that's a huge thing among breeders but yes, your females should have comparable size and strength because if they don't and you're free range they're going to sustain intense breeding related injuries. And it's this whole fucking... thing. There's a bunch of animal husbandry tools and practices to combat the difference if you're going for that, but most small farms tend not to do that and the reason that you condition for the difference, and you have to condition for it, is for meat purposes, and so if you're primary dairy it's not as important and blahblahblah, AND there are a ton of different cattle breeds on top of that, some of which have greater levels of sexual dimorphism than others and on and on and on.

My point is and always has been, it's not smart to try to push a cow over because it will injure you very severely or possibly kill you.