Litiquette3

[ChainedUp]

I just assume all nice blurt threads are about me. I feel that this is probably a fair assumption, no? (No bubble bursting! I know none of them are about me!)

I prefer to be aggressive aggressive, instead of passive aggressive.

Fuck off pmann! Like that?

 

[Bitesback]

This place can be quite an interesting place. Yesterday I did something out of character for me, I spent some time on the other threads. Shocking, I know! ......

We know you're a regular lurker around these threads, Chained, perusing and trying to guess about whom each post with a veiled reference has been written. The cool kids are all in the know...

It's interesting to think about the different ways passive aggressive behaviour manifests on this site. The veiled references to other members, and the not so veiled... Yes, we can smile quietly when the post is positive, but from time to time, there are posts where feelings are raw and pointed and sometimes abusive.

As with our day to day lives, we'd like to think that if we knew ourselves to be the target of negative comments that such activity would not bother us, that we could easily ignore it. But I suspect some people can't because this is a place were we are particularly vulnerable.. It can be a place of retreat, and fun, and escapism. If that is disturbed by someone taking you to task over a matter, real or imagined, I think that may make it difficult to view this place the same way again. The ignore feature can only do so much.

I did read through the latest debates on those threads and my over-riding thoughts were about the extraordinary lives of many people here. There are people with very real pain and very real struggles with which they live each and every day, some carry these matters better than others at different times but it all reinforces the often made point that everyone here is more than their username. That they share their highly personal stories demonstrates that they feel they can be themselves here.

Everyone here has a backstory or three. Everyone here is here for their own reasons. Many are here to escape drama and hurtful situations and difficult relationships. No one wants those situations to arise here. Be it in the Playground or elsewhere on this site, we need to play nice, unless you have permission to play a little dirty.

What is there to discuss if you tell us what to do?

Chained told us what to do? Clearly I need to pay more attention when he issues instructions..

 

[dutchrain]

I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

We don't need to play nice. We don't NEED to be anything other than who we are at any given time. Perhaps "playing nice" is what causes the hurt and drama and pain that people here often experience and project.

I'm not going to pretend I'm fine and dandy when I'm not. I'm not going to pretend I am ok with some of the shit that's written here or how people treat each other when I'm not. To me that's not playing nice that's deceit at worst, at best burying your head in the sand.

Maybe "playing nice" is what causes all the hurt and pain and drama in the first place. Maybe we should actually BE nice and if we actually just aren't nice, just own it and be who we are.

I think a lot of the passive-agressiveness results from people thinking they are being nice. Or thinking they are being aggressive in a polite manner or in a political correct way.

Personally I do much better with people who tell me what is the matter in clear words, than with people who try to disguise their true opinion, of me or of a someone else or of a situation.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Maybe "playing nice" is what causes all the hurt and pain and drama in the first place. Maybe we should actually BE nice and if we actually just aren't nice, just own it and be who we are.

*nods*

 

[Lord Pmann]

Fuck off pmann! Like that?

When you cut me, I bleed rainbow coloured blood just like the rest of you.

 

[ChainedUp]

When you cut me, I bleed rainbow coloured blood just like the rest of you.

Thank God there isn't any glitter!

 

[FantasySlut]

Thank God there isn't any glitter!

*running inside*



http://www.pvedesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sparkle+on1.jpg






*runs back out*

 

[Sundayschild]

Glitter is kind of frowned upon in the UK these days......

 

[Lord Pmann]

I don't care how passive aggressive and mean you lot are, you'll never dull my sparkle.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/75/b4/25/75b425765f2dfeb406eff469818ad113.jpg

 

[Aquagal]

I appreciate apggressive aggressive more than passive aggressive. Say what you mean to the person that pissed you off instead of this veiled secrecy of nice. It's in comparison to VagueBooking. Call it, own it, move on.

 

[sweetsophie512]

This place can be quite an interesting place. Yesterday I did something out of character for me, I spent some time on the other threads. Shocking, I know! What came of it: passive aggressiveness.

However, in defense of a much maligned personality trait, Lit is prime breeding ground for this behavior. Dear X, Dear Litster, Blurt threads......so many others, and that's the whole idea, even almost by definition/creation of this lovely place, this is what Lit is a lot about.

So for those that feel the subject of passive aggressive behavior, relax, chill, get over yourself. No one ever complains when these threads are full of nice posts about a random, not so random Litster and it happens to be "you". We smile at the coyness of it, will send a pm to the poster thanking them for their post.

So my thought for the day is roll with the punches here. Enjoy the good when it happens, shrug off the "bad"'when you experience it and I suspect the experience here will greatly improve.

Discuss.

What's out of character is that you actually posted. I'm sure you browse through the threads and choose not to put your two cents in.

I don't follow the rules ... much. I prefer to know what's expected and then make sure to cross those lines whenever I see fit. . I will echo the sentiments here. Aggressive aggressive? Hah, pmann is making stuff up. . As Aquagal stated, say what you mean but also mean what you say. Don't say things for the sake of *saying* something. It doesn't help anyone, most importantly yourself, if you aren't your authentic self in dealing with others.

 

[Little_Sister]

I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

We don't need to play nice. We don't NEED to be anything other than who we are at any given time. Perhaps "playing nice" is what causes the hurt and drama and pain that people here often experience and project.

Maybe "playing nice" is what causes all the hurt and pain and drama in the first place. Maybe we should actually BE nice and if we actually just aren't nice, just own it and be who we are.

I appreciate apggressive aggressive more than passive aggressive. Say what you mean to the person that pissed you off instead of this veiled secrecy of nice. It's in comparison to VagueBooking. Call it, own it, move on.

I don't follow the rules ... much. I prefer to know what's expected and then make sure to cross those lines whenever I see fit. . I will echo the sentiments here. Aggressive aggressive? Hah, pmann is making stuff up. . As Aquagal stated, say what you mean but also mean what you say. Don't say things for the sake of *saying* something. It doesn't help anyone, most importantly yourself, if you aren't your authentic self in dealing with others.

I totally agree with much of what has been posted above me. Say what you mean and mean what you say. I also wish more people here would deal with their beefs privately in PM.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've heard a wise person once say that it's better to be stabbed in the front than in the back.

Playing with a knife is dangerous though, kids.

 

[Little_Sister]

I've heard a wise person once say that it's better to be stabbed in the front than in the back.

Playing with a knife is dangerous though, kids.

Playing with a knife while you played with yourself would be really dangerous... You should try

 

[Bitesback]

I disagree. Wholeheartedly.

We don't need to play nice. We don't NEED to be anything other than who we are at any given time. Perhaps "playing nice" is what causes the hurt and drama and pain that people here often experience and project.

I'm not going to pretend I'm fine and dandy when I'm not. I'm not going to pretend I am ok with some of the shit that's written here or how people treat each other when I'm not. To me that's not playing nice that's deceit at worst, at best burying your head in the sand.

Maybe "playing nice" is what causes all the hurt and pain and drama in the first place. Maybe we should actually BE nice and if we actually just aren't nice, just own it and be who we are.

Rainshine, perhaps in my attempts to finish on a lighter note I chose my words poorly.
Somewhat flippantly, and obviously not readily apparent, I was attempting to convey that I think it best that we come to Lit with good intentions. By all means react as your heart and soul tell you to any comments you find here. Differing opinions can be exchanged freely and support given to those we know to be hurt by comments without attacking the person with whom we disagree or have an argument, just as you have done now. And I appreciate that you did post a response because yours was not an interpretation of my words which I had considered.

I agree with you that we should feel free to speak our minds here, but that freedom is compromised when people feel victimized rather than the issues at hand being addressed and debated. Sure, there may be reasons from time to time for full and frank character analysis, but the decline in the number of members participating here could reflect that people are becoming less inclined to participate because of the negativity and aggression that can crop up. Obviously alts created to inflame and cause hurt to others are a part of the problem. They sure don't play nice and never intended to.

I'm glad you feel that you can and will continue to be exactly who you are here and that you will speak up to support others. It's the genuine people here that make it worthwhile to participate.

 

[Trixareforkids]

People are the same where ever they are. This place doesn't allow us to be different, more vocal in our thoughts maybe, but not different. Our interactions here are real projection of ourselves. Feeling some level of anonymity may allow us to reveal thoughts that we wouldn't in other social situations, but it doesn't change those thoughts. What we choose to say or not say only changes other's perception of us, it doesn't change who we are.

A favorite song of mine has the line "folks don't change, they just reveal." Pictures or words, we're all flashers here.

 

[SweetSam42]

I think those threads are all in good fun. And yes, I've participated in the passive aggressiveness around those Dear Litster type threads. I'm not sure why, other than it's fun.

And I'm not sure how playing nice when you're feeling less than nice makes you not true to who you are. I don't even know what that phrase means. There are people I don't like here, several who are not fond of me, it's fine, we should all just deal with it and carry on.

 

[LallyH]

Glitter is kind of frowned upon in the UK these days......

In case that was lost on our non UK friends, just take the round of applause from me

 

[Sundayschild]

In case that was lost on our non UK friends, just take the round of applause from me

Ahthenkyou.

 

[Lord Pmann]

In the words of the artist, "Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate..."

- Tay Tay Swift

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

In the words of the artist, "Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate..."

- Tay Tay Swift

Off-topic, but her album isn't that bad. Ya know, for pop music. Lol

 

[Lord Pmann]

Off-topic, but her album isn't that bad. Ya know, for pop music. Lol

This just in...

"NRJ's stock price plummeted today when it was revealed he was a fan of Taylor Swift."

Says the man who actually sat through an entire Tay Tay concert.

 

[LallyH]

When I met my husband, he was the guitarist in a punk band.

The last time we were playing the 'taking turns at choosing the music on a car journey', he chose Tay Tay. Every time.

I am sure that's grounds for divorce under false misrepresentation....

 

[NorthRockJohnson]

This just in...

"NRJ's stock price plummeted today when it was revealed he was a fan of Taylor Swift."

Says the man who actually sat through an entire Tay Tay concert.

Hahahahaha did you really? I just bought the album on AmazonMP3. Tell you what, I won't tell anyone about you if you don't tell anyone about me. The last thing we need is the information about our Taylor Swift fandom going public.

I have no idea how to send a private message. I hope I'm doing g it right.

 

[SpicySweets]

Off-topic, but her album isn't that bad. Ya know, for pop music. Lol

Not surprised...