Hey Fata, I promise no spiders in this one

[parodyluvr75]

Since my last one was so mean with the spiders and such, I figured I owe you one.

voila

http://jacobgrier.com/blog/wp-content/camel_cricket.jpg

 

[parodyluvr75]

http://img.buzznet.com/assets/categories9/bugs/large-msg-1130589522-2.jpg

 

[Sunshine]

ewwwww.

 

[parodyluvr75]

They're ugly.

 

[Sunshine]

They're ugly.

When we first moved in, our basement was infested with crickets, although I thought they were something else and described them over the phone to the exterminator as giant jumping spiders. He theorized that perhaps they were "Asian cockroaches" because as I said, they were the size of my fist! When he arrived he chuckled ..... Uh, you've got crickets mam.

I HATE Crickets.

 

[CandiCame]

I thought crickets were supposed to be good luck.

 

[Sunshine]

I thought crickets were supposed to be good luck.

They probably are but I am terrified of them.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I thought crickets were supposed to be good luck.

That's what I always heard, I don't think Fata will see it that way.

 

[rimmy]

I should get a commission of any profits this thread makes.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I should get a commission of any profits this thread makes.

I get paid for every witty thread I start, I've yet to get paid.

 

[rimmy]

I get paid for every witty thread I start, I've yet to get paid.

Bullshit. I'm calling my lawyer.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Bullshit. I'm calling my lawyer.

Did you pay Des?

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1125087

 

[rimmy]

Did you pay Des?

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=1125087

Your honour, I believe that to parody a thread you have to change the title slightly.

 

[parodyluvr75]

Your honour, I believe that to parody a thread you have to change the title slightly.

Kiss my round feathered bottom, mister.

 

[rimmy]

Kiss my round feathered bottom, mister.

I accept your terms.

 

[parodyluvr75]

I accept your terms.

Weirdo.

 

[lemonbread]

Oooh! Do one about earwigs! Bastards, they have pinchers on their ass!

 

[parodyluvr75]

Oooh! Do one about earwigs! Bastards, they have pinchers on their ass!

That would give Fata nightmares.

 

[CandiCame]

They probably are but I am terrified of them.

You should not come to my house. I bought a bowl of crickets once, to feed to a lizard I was fostering, and I accidentally freed them all. I dropped the bowl and the lid came off and they FLED. And my gf was like, "DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM MULAN!?"

As far as I know they're all still here somewhere. But we have a cat so maybe he ate them.

 

[CandiCame]

Oooh! Do one about earwigs! Bastards, they have pinchers on their ass!

Are earwigs the ones from that short story that eat your brain juices?

 

[DesEsseintes]

You should not come to my house. I bought a bowl of crickets once, to feed to a lizard I was fostering, and I accidentally freed them all. I dropped the bowl and the lid came off and they FLED. And my gf was like, "DID YOU LEARN NOTHING FROM MULAN!?"

As far as I know they're all still here somewhere. But we have a cat so maybe he ate them.

I think I like your girlfriend.

 

[Fata Morgana]

I don't like any creepy crawlies but they don't make me act like a psycho in the way spiders do. It's the eight legs in a circle. It's just fucking excessive.

 

[DesEsseintes]

I don't like any creepy crawlies but they don't make me act like a psycho in the way spiders do. It's the eight legs in a circle. It's just fucking excessive.

I'm with you. And the stillness, and then the unpredictable, explosive, 3-dimensional speed. A spider is the only creature that can lie basically dead for days in one corner of a huge room's ceiling, and then IMMEDIATELY be on the floor on the other side going for your feet, with absolutely no warning.

We've been much happier in our brick web of a house since buying one of these. (And I'm rather fond of the first review, too.)

 

[CandiCame]

I like spiders. One of them dried the land so we can live here and they talk to the thunders and shit. And on the 'not spiritual bullshit' front, they eat bugs and I have a weird bug thing. Like the way you are with spiders is how I am with bugs. So me and Charlotte are cool. She died at the end of that. That fucked me up when I was a kid.

 

[parodyluvr75]

That person with the spider catcher murdered Barry in cold blood, that's just wrong. Spiders eat a lot of other bugs, they're good for that. I'm not overly wigged by them unless they are venomous. Brown recluse or black widow are ones I'd put down no questions asks.



"You're short, you're ugly and you've too many legs."