shareing

[MaJ1993]

My wife wants to experiment with another man and I. Just won't quite go over the edge. Any advice. She is beautiful. Won't b a problem finding a partner. Says the passion is far from what it once was when we met 23 years ago. Every time I say I want to see her get fingered or fucked during sex her muscles in her vagina spasm. I have thought about this a long time and I'm ready. I wasn't when we met when we were young. I want to please her and watch her in bliss. We have communicated a lot about this. She's a little scared of both liking it too much and being let down. Which I think is normal. Just looking for advice from veterans.

 

[lynn-23]

How do you feel about this fantasy of hers? Has she indicated who she would like the other man to be?

 

[MaJ1993]

I'm the one that started it during sex. Totally gets her off. She's always been a little shy

 

[MaJ1993]

She haven't picked one out yet. Talks about 3 men. That she thinks about. Not at the same time

 

[looking4it]

a slippery slope that i wouldn't suggest either of you follow...there are other ways to spice up your lives without this...since you are asking i am going to say you aren't consciously or subconsciously in favor...talk talk talk but find another way

 

[HoneyBrunette]

I have shared a few times with different partners. My advice would be to go somewhere neutral - don't bring a random into your martial home or bed. Swingers clubs are a good start. Just take it slowly. First visit is a look don't touch for both of you. Second might be that you both get to kiss someone else while the other watches... The reason I say start slow is that if you have been with your partner for a long time the reality of what you are doing can be daunting, completely different to the fantasy and although I hate to say it... It can be dangerous to your relationship (been there done that). So go slow and check in with each other constantly.

My new partner and I are both keen on sharing so as we have only been seeing each other a couple of months we are heading to a club in a couple of weeks time. First time I have done this with someone so new... In theory it should be easier to get started without jealousy or insecurities popping up.

 

[Somehowyou]

I really enjoyed just talking about the fantasy during sex. I loved hearing my SO talk about her imaginary BF while we had sex. It never went any further then this but it did not get old. I miss those days. I don't know why this stopped?

 

[MaJ1993]

Thanks for the replies. Looking-i like your advice. And I am in favor of this. I'm looking for information on how this works and what screws it up both. I know it can be slippery. Well aware. Honey- Good advice. That's what I'm looking for and more.

 

[Eilan]

I'm the one that started it during sex. Totally gets her off. She's always been a little shy

Then it's not entirely accurate to say that this is something that she wants if you're the one who brought it up.

Have you talked about it outside of the bedroom? 'Cause I know that when I'm turned on enough I'll agree to lots of things that I don't necessarily want to do once calmer heads have prevailed.

 

[Emmanuelle83]

Then it's not entirely accurate to say that this is something that she wants if you're the one who brought it up.

Have you talked about it outside of the bedroom? 'Cause I know that when I'm turned on enough I'll agree to lots of things that I don't necessarily want to do once calmer heads have prevailed.

Amen to this. Sometimes I'd sell my cat for an orgasm.

 

[NightL]

Prasa?

 

[soflabbwlvr]

Enjoy the fantasy and how hot she gets when discussing it, but prepare yourself for the possibility that it may never happen. For most people fantasies are just that--fantasies. The thought of bringing another person into the bedroom can be exciting and hot, but the reality of it can be overwhelming for most people.

If you really want this to happen, prepare for a long drawn out process. Don't rush her. Continue to bring it up as a fantasy, and gauge her reaction. She'll either get tired of it and want to discuss something else, or she will become more interested. She will let you know if and when she is ready to take it to the next level. It could take months. It could take years. It might never happen. Don't push it. Let her decide that it is something she wants to do and is ready to accomplish. If you push her into it and she does it just to please you, then you are guaranteed to fail. When she tells you she is ready, then you can discuss strategies for finding a guy. A willing extra male is not hard to find. But the success of your encounter depends on finding the right willing male.

 

[MaJ1993]

Yes we've talked about it outside the bedroom. She's tedering on the fence. I appreciate the replays. Love the sell my cat I don't push her. I know that won't work. And I don't want to push her bc then it'll b for me and I want her to b the one to be ready so she can be fully fulfilled.

 

[lynn-23]

Enjoy the fantasy and how hot she gets when discussing it, but prepare yourself for the possibility that it may never happen. For most people fantasies are just that--fantasies. The thought of bringing another person into the bedroom can be exciting and hot, but the reality of it can be overwhelming for most people.

If you really want this to happen, prepare for a long drawn out process. Don't rush her. Continue to bring it up as a fantasy, and gauge her reaction. She'll either get tired of it and want to discuss something else, or she will become more interested. She will let you know if and when she is ready to take it to the next level. It could take months. It could take years. It might never happen. Don't push it. Let her decide that it is something she wants to do and is ready to accomplish. If you push her into it and she does it just to please you, then you are guaranteed to fail. When she tells you she is ready, then you can discuss strategies for finding a guy. A willing extra male is not hard to find. But the success of your encounter depends on finding the right willing male.

I think this is good advice. Hubby and I have had dirty talk about 3somes for a while and it gets us hot. Its just a fantasy for now, but someday may actually happen. But even just the fantasy is very exciting.

 

[subwannabe]

I'm kind of shaking my head on this one. I'm having a hard time understanding it all. You're on Literotica asking questions because your wife says the passion is gone after 23 years but you're here on Literotica. OK, I said that twice. I can't help but wonder if you can't see the forest through the trees. If you are here on Literotica then there is a lot of info available about spicing things up without adding a person where you both have some concerns and reservations. I think this is the wrong way to spice things up in your current situation. I think it would be better to add another person at a time when she is not unhappy about the passion being gone in your relationship. I would work on getting the passion back instead of finding someone else to do it for you. Maybe she could dye her hair blonde or red or something and she can be the "other woman". She could wear a sexy outfit and you could wear a business suit and pick this other woman up in a bar and make passionate love to her like it was your first date or better yet, a wild sexual one night stand. You could, in effect, cheat on each other with each other.

 

[MaJ1993]

Just looking for advice from veterans like I said. I'm on literotica to gain sexual information instead of facebook or Twitter or whatever. I have looked around on here and found some information. Really don't know where else to look. Sorry to confuse you. Qurious. Have you been with one person for 23 years. Just asking. Not picking a fight

 

[subwannabe]

Nope but I've been with my current wife for 16 years. Does that count? Our passion is mostly gone but that's another story. I would try refinding our passion before bringing in a third person as a replacement. I try but she's too tired to be on board. She lets life run her instead of her running it and I just can't get her out of that rut. If there is a problem with the marriage (as in the passion is gone) then that is usually the worst time to try experimenting with others. You really have to have a solid relationship to add people into the bedroom or you are usually doomed to have it blow up in your face.

 

[coastal-boy]

People that are adventuresome, tend to be adventuresome from the get go...not something that magically happens after 23 years. I think it all starts with communication and I get the sense that isn't happening. Maybe I am wrong.

 

[simplegirl]

everyone already has given you great advice, so I'll focus on another aspect. Fantasizing is safe to do but reality is a different matter. But before you make this a reality , you also have to consider real-world possibilities. Such as: pregnancy, is there a risk of her becoming pregnant, birth control failing? If you explore with another woman, is there a risk you could be nailed for getting her pregnant?

What about STD's and safer-sex practices? Despite testing and condoms, you can still catch an STD. What happens if either of you catches one? Specially if it isn't easily treatable? Even if it is easily treatable, are you willing to go to your health care professional and admit that you may have one? How will you deal with that? Would you use protection for oral sex as well?

Would you allow kissing? Some swingers find kissing more intimate than sex and will only kiss their spouses.

And you also have to consider the emotional aspects. Neither of you can guarantee that she wouldn't develop feelings for the other man. Some people are hard-wired to get emotionally attached to their sexual partners. What if he's the one who tries to extend the relationship? What if he has a bigger penis? Would you feel inadequate? What if she orgasms more, bigger, faster, etc... with the other man? How would that make you feel? What if he lasts longer than you before he cums..... etc...


So make sure you cover all the angles and then some. If this is a hot fantasy, there's nothing wrong with it remaining a fantasy. Get a dildo and pretend it's someone else fucking her.

 

[MaJ1993]

More good advice. The guy she really thinks about is a doctor. So stds are taken care of. My wife has had a historectomy. So that solves that. I'm already assuming shed orgasm quicker. I would if it was someone different. I also think the other cock will be bigger. Mines somewhat thin. And she has always said its girth not length. That's what I want her to experience. Why should she get the short end of the "stick". Ha

 

[cabin69]

if you are all happy with the idea go for it. its a lot of fun swinging. make sure you are not the jealous type before you start.

we love it

 

[simplegirl]

More good advice. The guy she really thinks about is a doctor. So stds are taken care of. My wife has had a historectomy. So that solves that. I'm already assuming shed orgasm quicker. I would if it was someone different. I also think the other cock will be bigger. Mines somewhat thin. And she has always said its girth not length. That's what I want her to experience. Why should she get the short end of the "stick". Ha

Sorry to burst your bubble, but doctors are people too and many a doc has gotten STD's. There are practicing docs that have Hepatits and HIV, along with herpes. Don't assume because he's a doctor that he's clean.

 

[NightL]

My wife wants to experiment with another man and I. Just won't quite go over the edge.

So she does not want to do this

as for the rest it is just another "How do I make my..." masturbation fodder

 

[MaJ1993]

Thanks for the concern simple. I've known him my whole life. We talk about everything and he's my doc.

 

[MaJ1993]

Thanks for the concern simple. I've known him my whole life. We talk about everything and he's my doc.