What is this bump on my neck?

[Littlefinger]

I've got a golf-ball sized bump on the back of my neck on the left hand side right at the nape just before the hairline. It's been there for about 2 weeks almost. At first, I thought it was a pimple or an ingrown hair and tried to pop it. No good, so, I decided to wait for it to get a "head" and it still hasn't gotten one.

In fact it feels kind of hard and fibrous, like it's attached to the muscle when I poke and prod at it. There's no discoloration and it's unnoticeable until I point it out to people in good lighting. Oh, and there's no pain except a slight twinge in my neck when I turn it a certain way, almost like something is pulling on the muscle reminding me the bump is there.

So, we're gonna play a guessing game! What is the bump on my neck?

 

[pete]

it's a spider nest.

karma's a bitch, bro

 

[Littlefinger]

it's a spider nest.

karma's a bitch, bro

That's what my mother said when I had her look at it this Christmas. You're both awful people for saying that to me.

 

[ryan8558]

Think it's time for a trip to the doctor. Understand if it's there for a few days, but 2 weeks is a bit much.

 

[unregistered]

 

[doctor_insanus]

http://imageserver.moviepilot.com/screenshot-2014-09-16-at-17-33-17-zombie-ant-fungus-is-making-the-last-of-us-a-gross-reality.jpg

 

[Aquagal]

It's your twin finally trying to birth.

 

[Littlefinger]

I can't bring myself to select from those answers.

I think a doctor visit is in order.

You think I've been karate chopped, don't you? Well, I think I'd remember, Jelly!

Yeah, I've got an appointment made. Just been talking to people about it lately and thought a thread and poll would be funny.

 

[Killswitch]

Id have it removed.

http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/south-park/clip-thumbnails/season-2/0205/south-park-s02e05c08-conjoined-twin-myslexia-week-16x9.jpg?

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Sounds like a sebaceous cyst.

 

[Littlefinger]

Id have it removed.

http://southparkstudios.mtvnimages.com/images/shows/south-park/clip-thumbnails/season-2/0205/south-park-s02e05c08-conjoined-twin-myslexia-week-16x9.jpg?

Really? Might be fun to have a tag along buddy who can never leave. Sleeping is gonna be a bitch, though! XD

 

[Aquagal]

Sounds like a sebaceous cyst.

I read that as seabiscuit. WTF? Where's my glasses?!

 

[John Doe]

That's what my mother said when I had her look at it this Christmas. You're both awful people for saying that to me.

Do you find the idea of a creature laying eggs under your skin scarier than a tumor?

 

[Littlefinger]

Sounds like a sebaceous cyst.

Just admit it, you don't want to be cancer buddies.

They could make a movie about us. Racing each other in the hospital ward in wheelchairs. You trying to strangle me with the IV cord... except it doesn't work because the tumor on my neck gets in the way. A heartwarming tale, something like Harold and Maude.

 

[Que]

Do you find the idea of a creature laying eggs under your skin scarier than a tumor?

Yes..

 

[Littlefinger]

Do you find the idea of a creature laying eggs under your skin scarier than a tumor?

It's about even. I might live if the bugs get out but that would be fucking traumatic.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Just admit it, you don't want to be cancer buddies.

They could make a movie about us. Racing each other in the hospital ward in wheelchairs. You trying to strangle me with the IV cord... except it doesn't work because the tumor on my neck gets in the way. A heartwarming tale, something like Harold and Maude.

It isn't nearly as romantic as it sounds.

 

[John Doe]

Yes..

Odd. In terms of effective treatment and probability of recurrence you may be better off with the eggs.

Or rather, less worse off.

 

[Littlefinger]

It isn't nearly as romantic as it sounds.

Of course not. Movies about real life shit have to glamorize it a little bit to make that shit watchable.

 

[John Doe]

It's about even. I might live if the bugs get out but that would be fucking traumatic.

More traumatic than being told you have a tumor?

 

[Sunshine]

Get to a doctor ASAP! My sister was diagnosed with cancer last month. She had a lump just like that.

 

[Littlefinger]

More traumatic than being told you have a tumor?

Look, if it's a bug's nest, that means that lil bitch saw me as a tasty place to shove her babies. As much as I've read in the mpreg genre, it's not something I'm comfortable with since it has Wrigley connotations for me. Tumor seems so blase. Everybody's getting them now.

 

[Que]

It's about even. I might live if the bugs get out but that would be fucking traumatic.

Would you want to live once you had the experience of knowing that the crawling sensation actually was spiders crawling out of our flesh?

 

[Todger65]

Maybe you got kicked in the balls and one got dislodged a bit high.

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Of course not. Movies about real life shit have to glamorize it a little bit to make that shit watchable.

I couldn't be with someone with a lumpy neck. Sorry. It goes, or I go.