Fruitcake Blues

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Last week I bought two fruitcake bars made by a prominent South Georgia fruitcake company. I've been a loyal customer for 60 years or so.

One bar was full of pecan shell pieces, the 2nd bar was full of sand.

I emailed the fruitcake maker alerting them to the problem. I didn't ask for money or other compensation.

I got back an email informing me that the Feds allow limited quantities of trash in the batter.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Que]

Last week I bought two fruitcake bars made by a prominent South Georgia fruitcake company. I've been a loyal customer for 60 years or so.

One bar was full of pecan shell pieces, the 2nd bar was full of sand.

I emailed the fruitcake maker alerting them to the problem. I didn't ask for money or other compensation.

I got back an email informing me that the Feds allow limited quantities of trash in the batter.

Well, if they are following regulations, all is peachy in Georgia. Good thing we have the feds to regulate such things.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Every now and again, the employees at Claxton's don't get a Christmas bonus but you do.

There are other fruitcake makers.

Over the years I've witnessed plenty of companies ruined by the creators grandkids.

 

[Bidin~Time]

I haven't bought fruitcake this year. After reading this, I may not.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Lorilei]

Fruitcake is an abomination.

 

[Que]

I haven't bought fruitcake this year. After reading this, I may not.

I never liked fruitcake. When I was small, we lived in Louisiana. The congregation we attended some 45 miles away was small, and kind of poor. Every Christmas they had a big fund-raiser where everyone took home ingredients for a fruitcake or praline recipe and brought back the finished product for the sale. As I recall, my Dad who was in food processing had something to do with them getting bulk ingredients. After we moved Dad kept up the tradition most years he made pralines or fruitcakes or both to hand out.

My dad's fruitcake got rave reviews. I can take it in very thin slices if toasted.

It tends to burn in the toaster.

The pralines are really good but you need about one glass of milk per two pralines. And they are Praw-leens not Pray-leens.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Bidin~Time]

It's his fault for not choosing Claxton.


I gave each of my sisters and brother fruit cakes at the annual JAJ Christmas Chicken Bog dinner last night.




They were amused to say the least.

Evidently, i am one of, what? 5-6 people on the face of the earth that loves fruitcake. Claxton is my usual go to brand since i am not disciplined enough to buy the candied fruits necessary to make fruitcake when they hit the stores in October.

 

[Lorilei]

They will be here long after we have departed.

They are the cockroaches of baked goods.

 

[unregistered]

 

[bluebell]

The JAJ is killin' me here. Too funny.
My grandmother loves the Claxtons.

 

[Que]

Evidently, i am one of, what? 5-6 people on the face of the earth that loves fruitcake. Claxton is my usual go to brand since i am not disciplined enough to buy the candied fruits necessary to make fruitcake when they hit the stores in October.

You are indeed a strange individual. You do know that like when I took an actual, white, porcelain Elephant to the the white elephant gift exchange, it is a gag gift to give a fruitcake, right?

 

[Lorilei]

This is funny.


http://thelostdogs.bandcamp.com/track/big-fruitcake-from-hell

LOL. .

 

[Bidin~Time]

You are indeed a strange individual. You do know that like when I took an actual, white, porcelain Elephant to the the white elephant gift exchange, it is a gag gift to give a fruitcake, right?

This is why I keep my fruitcake love quiet.

 

[unregistered]

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Evidently, i am one of, what? 5-6 people on the face of the earth that loves fruitcake. Claxton is my usual go to brand since i am not disciplined enough to buy the candied fruits necessary to make fruitcake when they hit the stores in October.

I mention no names but with so few fruitcake lovers in America youd think the large South Georgia fruitcake baker would take care of their patrons NOT cite federal regs for trash and rat poop in the batter. WE REGRET WHAT HAPPENED BUT FEDERAL REGULATIONS PERMIT LIMITED AMOUNTS OF NON-FOOD MATTER IN THE FRUITCAKE.

 

[Que]

I mention no names but with so few fruitcake lovers in America youd think the large South Georgia fruitcake baker would take care of their patrons NOT cite federal regs for trash and rat poop in the batter. WE REGRET WHAT HAPPENED BUT FEDERAL REGULATIONS PERMIT LIMITED AMOUNTS OF NON-FOOD MATTER IN THE FRUITCAKE.

This is the problem with having the Gov't prescribe or proscribe things. It gives the imprimatur of propriety to nonsensical action.

If there was no federal standard there would not be MORE of those things in the cake. The aim for none of of it. Less is better. If not for the fact that the are relieved not to have a federal recall, they would never have dreamed up writing that sillyness to you.

Opps! woulda been better.

This is why I keep my fruitcake love quiet.

Maybe you should start a thread on the Fetish board...

 

[Bidin~Time]

Every real woman has a fruitcake in her nightstand.

I mention no names but with so few fruitcake lovers in America youd think the large South Georgia fruitcake baker would take care of their patrons NOT cite federal regs for trash and rat poop in the batter. WE REGRET WHAT HAPPENED BUT FEDERAL REGULATIONS PERMIT LIMITED AMOUNTS OF NON-FOOD MATTER IN THE FRUITCAKE.

Looks as though it's back to baking my own. Next year

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

They quit making new fruitcakes in 1962.

 

[PoppingTom]

They quit making new fruitcakes in 1962.

Fruitcake doesn't mean atom bomb.

Though this looks like one...

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

Fruitcake doesn't mean atom bomb.

Though this looks like one...

I always thought there was meat in them...maybe that's mincemeat pies.

Nevermind.

 

[Adre]

It's only fitting that JBNutjob has a fruitcake thread.

 

[snugglestruggle]

Aside from making one from scratch yourself , the best store bought fruitcake on the planet is Shirley Jeans. The only way to improve them is to add Rum, they are that good.

Back in the day when we had a space program NASA would send one up with the Shuttle missions during the holidays.