late bloomer

[rio8442]

So I had my first orgasm at 46 yrs of age (long story). Hormones kicked in and my hubby can‘t or won't enjoy this side of me. I have never reached climax with another person in the room. Am I missing anything of great importance?

Could you live the rest of your life having sex with yourself? You could have everything else. Money, companionship, witty conversation, kindness etc... just no sex outside of masturbation.

 

[unregistered]

 

[marshalt]

So I had my first orgasm at 46 yrs of age (long story). Hormones kicked in and my hubby can‘t or won't enjoy this side of me. I have never reached climax with another person in the room. Am I missing anything of great importance?

Could you live the rest of your life having sex with yourself? You could have everything else. Money, companionship, witty conversation, kindness etc... just no sex outside of masturbation.

Hell, I don't have half the shit on that list...

 

[unregistered]

 

[ms_ann_thrope]

I find it hard to surprise myself sexually. It's like I know in advance what I'm thinking.

 

[rio8442]

I find it hard to surprise myself sexually. It's like I know in advance what I'm thinking.

That's funny

 

[Ishmael]

I understand your situation and commiserate.

It's up to you what you can and can't live with. I think a satisfying sex life is extremely important. But, I also value the other relational comforts you described. Have you talked to him about this, your needs?

Trade offs, it's always a trade off. Talking is always good.

Ishmael

 

[Kitty]

So I had my first orgasm at 46 yrs of age (long story). Hormones kicked in and my hubby can‘t or won't enjoy this side of me. I have never reached climax with another person in the room. Am I missing anything of great importance?

Could you live the rest of your life having sex with yourself? You could have everything else. Money, companionship, witty conversation, kindness etc... just no sex outside of masturbation.

Doesn't sound too bad. I'll do it only to produce a child. Perfect!

 

[rio8442]

I understand your situation and commiserate.

It's up to you what you can and can't live with.

I have talked to him. I have chosen to place more value on the solid relationship than on the lack of hot sex. However, I was curious about the opinions of more experienced people. I appreciate everyone's responses.

 

[neci]

So I had my first orgasm at 46 yrs of age (long story). Hormones kicked in and my hubby can‘t or won't enjoy this side of me. I have never reached climax with another person in the room. Am I missing anything of great importance?

Could you live the rest of your life having sex with yourself? You could have everything else. Money, companionship, witty conversation, kindness etc... just no sex outside of masturbation.

you have never reached climax with hubby in the room.

stop blaming him.

masturbate in front of him.

i am going to come.

you are going to stay right there, until it happens.



i know some lesbians.

she said it takes 3 hours for her to come.

the ex husband never waited.

her now female companion is willing to take the time.


accept assistance.

set the mood.

adjust your body to another person in the room.

don't just say, it's been forever, it's your fault!

accept responsibility for the way your body is wired.




adjust accordingly.

 

[KissyTitties]

Wow. 46. So we're you surprised it happened or what?!

 

[dolf]

you have never reached climax with hubby in the room.

stop blaming him.

masturbate in front of him.

she didn't sound like she was blaming him, she just said he had no interest in this one side of her. maybe, like the hubby of the lesbian, he doesn't want to sit and watch.

stop blaming her.

...at least until you have some scrap of evidence that she deserves this.

 

[Curmudgeonly]

 

[Queersetti]

Where's that guy who started a thread yesterday bellyaching that his wife didn't want to have sex anymore? Maybe he can help.

 

[richard_daily]

Could you live the rest of your life having sex with yourself?

I couldn't... but maybe you could.

Do you have any idea why it took you 46 years to have an orgasm? I think that's probably important info to have.

 

[rio8442]

you have never reached climax with hubby in the room.

stop blaming him. (I am not blaming anyone)

masturbate in front of him. (And watch the man I Iove run from the room)

i am going to come.

you are going to stay right there, until it happens. (I find it difficult to come and deal with my anxiety stricken husband at the same time)

i know some lesbians (so do I, perhaps they know each other).

adjust your body to another person in the room. (I'm actually in love with my husband. Another person is not an option for me).

don't just say, it's been forever, it's your fault! (I didn't. Perhaps you heard that somewhere else).

accept responsibility for the way your body is wired. (Since my first orgasm at 46, I absolutely love my body and intimately know how it works)

If you have everything a great relationship has to offer except coupled sex, could you be content with solo sex the remainder of your life?

 

[rio8442]

Wow. 46. So we're you surprised it happened or what?!

I was on medication (for years) that supressed my sex drive. Once I decided to change the meds, my libido jumped from 1 to 100. I became so horny and frustrated I actually saw a therapist. It took awhile to get past my embarrassment. I finally told him and he suggested I masturbate. I had never masturbated. So, I started studying it. Using my hands didn't do much for me. One afternoon I went to the local sex toy shop and bought a bullet vibrator (with help from the clerk). I went home and used it. 30 minutes later, orgasm! It took longer than I would like, but with experience I have learned what I need to get there. It is beyond wonderful

With no apologies, I've been going strong ever since. Now I feel really confident about my body.

 

[parodyluvr75]

If you have everything a great relationship has to offer except coupled sex, could you be content with solo sex the remainder of your life?

It's not whether she could, it's whether you could. I saw you talk of companionship and comfort, which is nice but do you love him?

 

[rio8442]

I couldn't... but maybe you could. (I'm going to try. Thanks for the simple, honest answer).

Do you have any idea why it took you 46 years to have an orgasm? I think that's probably important info to have.

Yes. Childhood abuse created sexual repression. Exasperated as an adult by libido supressing medication. Having an orgasm wasn't even on my radar. I was too busy surviving life.

Now that I am older, things are going very well.

I keep myself sexually satified. My husband is good for cuddling, perhaps the occasional screw. I discovered that I am hot for my age. It would be nice to be sexually appreciated, but I can handle this for myself. Perhaps ignorance is bliss.

 

[rio8442]

It's not whether she could, it's whether you could. I saw you talk of companionship and comfort, which is nice but do you love him?

I absolutely love him.

 

[rio8442]

she didn't sound like she was blaming him, she just said he had no interest in this one side of her. maybe, like the hubby of the lesbian, he doesn't want to sit and watch.

stop blaming her.

...at least until you have some scrap of evidence that she deserves this.

Thank you

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Yes. Childhood abuse created sexual repression. Exasperated as an adult by libido supressing medication. Having an orgasm wasn't even on my radar. I was too busy surviving life.

Now that I am older, things are going very well.

I keep myself sexually satified. My husband is good for cuddling, perhaps the occasional screw. I discovered that I am hot for my age. It would be nice to be sexually appreciated, but I can handle this for myself. Perhaps ignorance is bliss.

I absolutely love him.

Sounds like you've already come to terms with a life of self-satisfying masturbation.

It's not a bad thing, you know. I was jerkin' off long before I had actual sex and I'll likely be jerkin' off instead of having actual sex before I kick the bucket. I get myself off more than I have sex with my lovers, but my thing is, either way, I'm going for mine and enjoying it. Attitude is everything.

Plus, you never know. Your newly awakened sex energy might infect your somewhat dormant hubby through osmosis, over time. Then one day, you're gonna walk through that door after work or shopping or funnin' around with the gal pals or whatever...and he's gonna be buck naked on the living room floor with a gift bow attached to his hard cock...and he's gonna say, "Come an' get it, baby! It's all yours!"

 

[parodyluvr75]

I absolutely love him.

Then I'd say talk to him about your issue, see if he'll work with you. It will probably take awhile, especially if your sexual pattern with each other is habit. Some people are threatened by change and will fight it, at first.

What are you missing? I think sex is best when you're in love. I have been abstaining for a long spell now, because I can't be with who I love. I'd rather be by myself than with a pale substitute of what I need.

I hope you get what you need and deserve with the one you love.

I also like how Zumi looks at it, he made good points.

 

[dolf]

solo sex can be awesome anyway! if you're having a solo sex lie, I suggest he invest as much in it as you would in a shared one. toys, scented oils, plenty of time.

 

[rio8442]

Thanks everyone for your responses. This is the only place I know where I can post such a question and receive honest answers.