Worst Christmas Gift Ever

[JohnnySavage]

The elder Mrs. Savage was known far and wide as the worst gift giver ever. Her heart was in the right place, but her gifts always were head-scratchers.

Example #1: I grew up far away from any shopping outlets. So store-bought gifts were ordered from the Sears & Roebucks catalog. When I was about 10 years old I asked Santa for a tackle box. Well, come Christmas morning I had a nice package under the tree and I was so excited to have a place to keep my lures. I tore open that package and you know what was inside? A picture of a tackle box, clipped from the catalog. It seems the actual item was out of stock.


Example #B: A few years ago... maybe a dozen actually, the elder Mrs. Savage gave me salt. Supposedly it's some kind of fancy flavored salt. I wouldn't really know because I could never get the lid opened and it's still sitting on a shelf in the Savage Pantry.

An Honorable Mention goes out to three different women I've dated over the years. All three - with no prior knowledge of the prior, gave me a pair of shoes. So sitting in the Savage Closet, unworn, are three pairs of shoes.


What's your worst gift?

 

[Wings]

In the waning years of my marriage my then husband got me a paper shredder.


Yup.

 

[JohnnySavage]

I used to have an Aunt who would give me a fruit cake every year. She always put it in a different size box; thinking I would be fooled. When I opened it and had a look of astoundment on my face, she would laugh and laugh and laugh. In her mind a fruit cake was a joke gift, and she was tickled that every year she "got" me.

I actually love fruit cake and her joke gift was one of my favorites every year.

 

[Que]

It was sweet, but ugly. I was young and had purchased the first Chateau Query circa 1963. The master bathroom was a horrible shade of light green. Seafoam maybe. High on the priority list was gutting it.

I acquired a girlfriend around then and for Christmas she bought me towels to match the bathroom. I am sentimental so I kept the towels for years.

 

[Bidin~Time]

My worst gift wasn't the actual gift, but the result of the fishing expedition. Prior to giving me the gift, my aunt innocently asked me if i liked jigsaw puzzles. Even then I was a bit on the opinionated side, and honestly told her no, adding I preferred to be outside. She was one of my favorite aunts and my heart sank when I opened her present, not because it was a jigsaw puzzle, but because I knew it hurt her feelings knowing how i felt. It still gives me a twinge of guilt when I think of it.
If she had never asked me, I would have pretended to love it beyond words, because I loved her, and still do.

 

[chillywilly2]

I didn't know you liked fishing, hell, I thought I was the only one here that did

My MIL gets the worst presents.

One year she got my BIL a cordless drill..he lives in a condo and has NO interest in tools or handyman shit whatsoever...he opens it and looks at me and says, wtf am I gonna do with this...I laughed my ass off

 

[Bidin~Time]

I didn't know you liked fishing, hell, I thought I was the only one here that did

My MIL gets the worst presents.

One year she got my BIL a cordless drill..he lives in a condo and has NO interest in tools or handyman shit whatsoever...he opens it and looks at me and says, wtf am I gonna do with this...I laughed my ass off

It'll be our lil secret.

 

[MeeMie]

I can't say that I've ever received a bad Christmas gift, but apparently I've given some head scratchers over the years.

I recalled my father saying that he loved to listen to the sounds of a banjo ... I thought my gift to him was brilliant ... a banjo.

He looked at me like "are you out of your mind?"

 

[Aquagal]

Funniest gift opening I saw was when I was dating a boyfriend and his mother gifted him with Ben Wa balls. She'd found them at a garage sale and thought the shiny, gold balls were neat and pretty. OMG we snickered.

 

[RobDownSouth]

Funniest gift opening I saw was when I was dating a boyfriend and his mother gifted him with Ben Wa balls. She'd found them at a garage sale and thought the shiny, gold balls were neat and pretty. OMG we snickered.

Best excuse for re-gifting I've ever heard of!

p.s. who the hell sells USED ben wa balls at a garage sale!

 

[JohnnySavage]

Best excuse for re-gifting I've ever heard of!

p.s. who the hell sells USED ben wa balls at a garage sale!

Rinse em off and they are fine.

You probably use new condoms every time too!

 

[RobDownSouth]

Rinse em off and they are fine.

You probably use new condoms every time too!

Well, the colored condoms you buy in gas statition restrooms tend to bleed colors after one use, so yeah, new ones every time.

 

[CandiCame]

I can't think of any gifts I ever got I didn't like. Ugly clothes I guess? But I cut them up and make them fashionable. I have a grandma and an aunt who always get me ugly clothes and soap that smells like wood or something because we don't interact so they have no idea what to get me. But I get them equally shitty things so I don't consider those bad gifts, they're just, generic person-i-don't-know gifts.

 

[CandiCame]

My uncle gets my brother a box of pop-tarts every year because when he was a toddler he asked what he wanted and he said Pop-tarts. It's like the fruitcake, inasmuchas it's supposed to be a joke gift but... fucking poptarts are good. He'll look for them first so that he can eat them for breakfast Christmas morning.

 

[PeteHulbert37]

A Cincinnati Bengals Santa hat. I'm a Browns fan.

 

[unregistered]

 

[chillywilly2]

Same as the last 7 years, silence from my two boys.

sorry bout that...that would be a bummer

 

[girlsmiley]

Christmas morning 1985 or 86 or 84.

I got up late and stumbled out to the kitchen/sitting room. I was grumpy, annoyed and still half asleep.

Someone handed me a present to open. It was a doll. I was to feed the doll because she was hungry. We mixed the strawberry flavoured crystals with warm water and I hopped back up on to my chair and fed my baby. Everyone gathered around to see me because I was so cute. And then it peed all over my nightie. I screamed and threw the baby on the floor. People laughed and laughed.

 

[parodyluvr75]

A concussion.

 

[Aquagal]

Best excuse for re-gifting I've ever heard of!

p.s. who the hell sells USED ben wa balls at a garage sale!

That's what I'm thinking! Probably some old lady that had no idea that sold them to some other old lady that had no idea.

Rinse em off and they are fine.

You probably use new condoms every time too!

Ewwwww

 

[warrior queen]

Worst ever was a gift from the ex-MIL.
A book on how to be a better wife to her son.
(Paradoxically.... also the best gift ever! See the other thread.)