Litiquette3

[ChainedUp]

I choose happy. It works for me.

I'm not so sure you can choose to be happy per se. Just like you can't decide you're tall if your 4'9". You can be okay with being 4'9" but you just can't say you're tall.

You can also choose to accept a different level of happiness, not allowing disappointment to consume you. But does moving the "happy target" really make you happy or is it just a security blanket to ward off unhappiness.

Oh and VT, the "you"s used here aren't directed at you specifically, they are the collective "you" at large.

 

[multitalentman]

I'm not so sure you can choose to be happy per se. Just like you can't decide you're tall if your 4'9". You can be okay with being 4'9" but you just can't say you're tall.

You can also choose to accept a different level of happiness, not allowing disappointment to consume you. But does moving the "happy target" really make you happy or is it just a security blanket to ward off unhappiness.

Oh and VT, the "you"s used here aren't directed at you specifically, they are the collective "you" at large.

I think there may be some confusion as to the difference between "Joy" and "Happiness"
What I described in my earlier post would have been better stated as Joy. Happiness is fleeting, where as Joy can be had even where Happiness is not present.

 

[All_4_Love]

I think there may be some confusion as to the difference between "Joy" and "Happiness"
What I described in my earlier post would have been better stated as Joy. Happiness is fleeting, where as Joy can be had even where Happiness is not present.

Indeed, it can. Happiness is something that is sought after by things that are outside of ourselves, like riding a jet ski. This is happiness but it is not sustainable.

In my opinion, by moving the happiness target, it means that one is always in search of something that just simply cannot be attained. Focusing on attaining happiness in things outside of ourselves, beyond our control, is more than likely the easiest way to create the exact opposite of what one is searching for.

I think when we focus on being grateful for what we do have, instead of what we don't have, we enable ourselves to feel happiness more often. This doesn't mean that we have to be complacent, that we can't strive for something different, but how are we to ever know ourselves, to know what we truly want in life, if we are focusing on something as temporary as happiness?

 

[multitalentman]

Indeed, it can. Happiness is something that is sought after by things that are outside of ourselves, like riding a jet ski. This is happiness but it is not sustainable.

In my opinion, by moving the happiness target, it means that one is always in search of something that just simply cannot be attained. Focusing on attaining happiness in things outside of ourselves, beyond our control, is more than likely the easiest way to create the exact opposite of what one is searching for.

I think when we focus on being grateful for what we do have, instead of what we don't have, we enable ourselves to feel happiness more often. This doesn't mean that we have to be complacent, that we can't strive for something different, but how are we to ever know ourselves, to know what we truly want in life, if we are focusing on something as temporary as happiness?

Agreed! Well said!

 

[stickygirl]

Happiness is not always easily achievable. Overall, I'm a pretty happy person. But a lot of things in life but us hard at times.

For me there are two categories of things that make me happy.

1. Things I need to be happy.
2. Things I want to be happy.

The first group are necessities and without them I won't be happy. The second group are items that make me happier, I guess. More frivolous stuff. People say things and stuff doesn't make you happy. I say that's shit. I mean, if I don't have the first group, the second won't make me happy. But I'll say this, ever seen someone frowning while riding on a jet ski?

Happy is a pretty thin word - I'd go for 'contentment' because it reflects a deeper emotional sense.

I wasn't sure at first with your 2. if you meant other people or just 'things' . Things don't make me content, though they might temporarily make me happy.

Making other people happy makes me happy.... that fricking happy word again

 

[ViciousTease]

I'm not so sure you can choose to be happy per se. Just like you can't decide you're tall if your 4'9". You can be okay with being 4'9" but you just can't say you're tall.

You can also choose to accept a different level of happiness, not allowing disappointment to consume you. But does moving the "happy target" really make you happy or is it just a security blanket to ward off unhappiness.

Oh and VT, the "you"s used here aren't directed at you specifically, they are the collective "you" at large.

Perhaps I should have said, "I am everything I need to be happy. The rest is just a bonus."

I still choose me and I am happy.

 

[All_4_Love]

Happy is a pretty thin word - I'd go for 'contentment' because it reflects a deeper emotional sense.

I wasn't sure at first with your 2. if you meant other people or just 'things' . Things don't make me content, though they might temporarily make me happy.

Making other people happy makes me happy.... that fricking happy word again

Mmm, I love this.

I am the very same way, but we both know that making others happy will not always be the outcome of our efforts. We can try to make them happy, but the truth is, they will not always be happy. I don’t know how that affects you, but it’s very, very hard on me, and nearly impossible for me not to internalize it. I hate to disappoint the people that I try so hard to please.

Contentment is a good word for this because we can still strive to be content while trying to please others and make them happy, knowing that it is the effort itself that is the reward, and not their reaction to us that matters the most. This is what I have had to keep practicing throughout my life.

 

[BlueEyedGent]

This is definitely a very thought provoking question.

There will be various responses because each one of us possess different views on what that factor is to make us feel the emotion of being happy. I am sure tho that we all desire common goals , basic desires of " happy" ...such as, excellent health for ourselves and our loved ones, fulfilling jobs, beautiful relationships, etc...

I do make mental lists, goals that I would like to take place in my life...but I also know that if nothing is attained or achieved it is OK...

Why?

I do believe in God , my faith is strong ...having that allows me to accept what has been given to me and also what has been taken away.

Am I saying that when something negative happens in my life that I am whistling a cheery tune? Of course not...I do allow myself to feel sad, dissatisfied, cry, sulk , feel anger be resentful...you get the picture....

However, once I have given into the "poor me" mentality, I soon realize to accept what I have been dealt ...

On a personal note, one aspect of my life is that I do not have a child/children...and I always thought by now I would have become a dad....but, I don't see it happening anytime soon or ever to be quite honest...Realizing this could really mess me up emotionally and cause me to be quite unhappy, despondent , and depressed...for I always wanted to be a dad that was a coach for my son or daughter's team sport, I always envisioned being the kind of dad that was the really " cool "one , where the kids would want to hang around with ...I had dreams of being the kind of dad where my child felt comfortable to come to me when anything was bothering them for good advice, attached with unconditional love...basically, I always wanted to be a mirror image of my dad...I wanted and dreamt of so much...

Instead, I looked for a way to make others happy and also myself at the same time...and one of the ways I have done this was to become a sports coach for special needs kids...WOW! I am so glad I decided to do it...because since becoming a coach two years ago, it has enriched my life immensely. I cannot even put it all into words how rewarding this has been for me...when they give me a high five, or give a genuine hug, or an enormous smile , THAT is happiness...I know it is not the same as having my very own child, but I have embraced a different path that God has chosen for me to walk along, in order to love children and be loved in return...

Also, my parents have been wonderful examples of what it means to readjust their expectations of " happy" in their life...for as most of you know, I have a special needs brother...I don't think anyone actually says " Ok God, give me a special needs baby" ....but, that is what was given to them...and my brother, is a HUGE blessing ...to all of us....and makes us happy daily...

I am going to end this post with a few quotes that pertain to what I have addressed...

"Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open" *John Barrymore*

"You can't always have happiness, but you can always give happiness" *Author Unknown"

 

[multitalentman]

Mmm, I love this.

I am the very same way, but we both know that making others happy will not always be the outcome of our efforts. We can try to make them happy, but the truth is, they will not always be happy. I don’t know how that affects you, but it’s very, very hard on me, and nearly impossible for me not to internalize it. I hate to disappoint the people that I try so hard to please.

Contentment is a good word for this because we can still strive to be content while trying to please others and make them happy, knowing that it is the effort itself that is the reward, and not their reaction to us that matters the most. This is what I have had to keep practicing throughout my life.

Its a difficult task to look past your own emotions and feelings when deciding on how to view certain situations. Especially in the example of trying so hard to please others. Unfortunately we can't control others reactions as you stated. You do seem to have a healthy view now regarding finding contentment in knowing you did your best and that's all you can do. If the other person can't see that, then they probably don't deserve your affection.

 

[All_4_Love]

Its a difficult task to look past your own emotions and feelings when deciding on how to view certain situations. Especially in the example of trying so hard to please others. Unfortunately we can't control others reactions as you stated. You do seem to have a healthy view now regarding finding contentment in knowing you did your best and that's all you can do. If the other person can't see that, then they probably don't deserve your affection.

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.

 

[multitalentman]

Thank you for your kind and encouraging words.

You are very welcome. Its my pleasure.

 

[Lord Pmann]

Happy is a pretty thin word - I'd go for 'contentment' because it reflects a deeper emotional sense.

I wasn't sure at first with your 2. if you meant other people or just 'things' . Things don't make me content, though they might temporarily make me happy.

Making other people happy makes me happy.... that fricking happy word again

#2 could be people or things. Sometimes things make me happy. Or maybe I should say happier. I don't think things could make me happy if I didn't have #1.

 

[rubydlite]

I know some overarching things that I want. Happy marriage, happy life, happy child. But putting in place an action plan to achieve happiness isn't always easy.

This....

 

[SmileyGirl]

A new page means a new poll. This one will be quite interesting, at least to me.

I dunno how these people find time to post as alts.
I think it's kinda sad people can't just be themselves.
I think for the most part people who have an alt are
hiding their true self for pretty sketchy reasons.
Not all but the majority.
Maybe I'm just a cynical bitch but for most of them
I think they have something to hide. To me it's deceitful if
you aren't honest about who you are.

 

[SmileyGirl]

As for today's question.....

Anyone that knows me will know I'm a pretty happy person. I know what I want mostly.
I know where I want to be in life. There are certain things I might never have and sometimes
thinking about that can seem sad but I think we should be grateful for what we do have.
There are always things to be grateful for and that feeling brings happiness.

 

[rubydlite]

I dunno how these people find time to post as alts.
I think it's kinda sad people can't just be themselves.
I think for the most part people who have alts are
hiding their true self for pretty sketchy reasons.
Not all but the majority.
Maybe I'm just a cynical bitch but for most of them
I think they have something to hide. To me it's deceitful if
you aren't honest about who you are.

I have an alt for one reason only. ....so i can ask questions and learn without it coming back to 'me'. I don't engage with someone who has a 'relationship' with ruby and play two different people. And truthfully...I'm not even sure what the password is anymore but I'd have no shame dusting my alt off again....but maybe my reasons are more innocent than some.

 

[Aquagal]

Did someone say cake?!?

CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE.

Sorry, I don't have a clue what the cake joke is, but I thought I'd say it first.

Ugh.

 

[ydahecnot]

I don't have a ghostie, but I can see legitimate reasons for having one

 

[SmileyGirl]

I have an alt for one reason only. ....so i can ask questions and learn without it coming back to 'me'. I don't engage with someone who has a 'relationship' with ruby and play two different people. And truthfully...I'm not even sure what the password is anymore but I'd have no shame dusting my alt off again....but maybe my reasons are more innocent than some.

That's exactly why I said the majority

I'm talking about the ones who are conversing with people
and not being honest about who they really are, while painting
an entirely different picture of themselves with their original persona.

 

[PerkyT_T]

That's exactly why I said the majority

I'm talking about the ones who are conversing with people
and not being honest about who they really are, while painting
an entirely different picture of themselves with their original persona.

I have an alt. It was for someone's BDay...all for fun&fluff&stuff.

She had a good time with it and, yes, I did tell her.

I don't get certain people who converse with me as one persona, then converse again as another persona...until I figure out what's what. What is the freakin' point???

 

[SmileyGirl]

I have an alt. It was for someone's BDay...all for fun&fluff&stuff.

She had a good time with it and, yes, I did tell her.

I don't get certain people who converse with me as one persona, then converse again as another persona...until I figure out what's what. What is the freakin' point???

Exactly!! But it's especially good.....
when we catch them out My Partner In Crime

 

[PerkyT_T]

Exactly!! But it's especially good.....
when we catch them out My Partner In Crime

Bwahahahaa...snort.

Soooo right.

 

[SmileyGirl]

What's this? Chained expressing a view?

I knowwwww can you believe it!!! And it's quoted so there's noooo denying it

 

[SmileyGirl]

He must of forgotten which account he was in....

Bwahahaha....love it!!!

 

[TheSilverLining]

I voted for the '2-3' category.

Not because I have Alts. I'd fuck that riiiight up so what's the point?
I simply had 2 accounts before I had this one: the first was my knee-jerk reaction to finding lit - my username was my actual name. Less than 10 posts to that account. Epic fail.
The second was an account with a username chosen by someone else for the express purpose of posting wank-fodder on the BDSM board. Not my finest moment. At least I didn't stray as far as the GB.....

I haven't used either since I've had this account.
This one's me.

.....does that make me the Alt?!