5 Plot Lines Erotic Novels Desperately Need to Adopt...

[Rozalin_0123]

... according to Cracked. Found this article amusing, but it does make a few good points, especially regarding military and shape-shifter genres.

http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-plot-lines-erotic-novels-desperately-need-to-adopt/

Thoughts?

 

[Handley_Page]

I just loved this:-

Sales of urban fantasy, erotica, and romance books are growing;
faster than the engorged manhood of a vampire whose lack of blood circulation has mysteriously not left him impotent.


A real gem, that one.

 

[redzinger]

I just loved this:-

Sales of urban fantasy, erotica, and romance books are growing;
faster than the engorged manhood of a vampire whose lack of blood circulation has mysteriously not left him impotent.


A real gem, that one.

It's always puzzled me how these characters being sucked dry always manage to come, when an orgasm is related to the build-up of blood, not loss of it.

 

[desertslave]

The allergy concept was rather thoroughly explored in the TV series Dark Angel a few years back. It made for considerable drama and yearning.

 

[LeaHarvey1821]

I'm trying to imagine snuggling with my mate the salmon while I wait for him/her to switch back to human form. I just can't picture it. Some animals just aren't cuddly.

 

[sr71plt]

It's always puzzled me how these characters being sucked dry always manage to come, when an orgasm is related to the build-up of blood, not loss of it.

The vamp is squeezing some appendage like a bag pipe and sending what blood there is to pump up orgasm central. Don't you know nothin'?

I'll take my "it's pure fantasy anyway" as sensual as I can get it.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

I'm trying to imagine snuggling with my mate the salmon while I wait for him/her to switch back to human form. I just can't picture it. Some animals just aren't cuddly.

Well eel porn is a real thing, so there's that.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

The allergy concept was rather thoroughly explored in the TV series Dark Angel a few years back. It made for considerable drama and yearning.

If I 'member right, Dark Angel was about a genetically enhanced human. I don't remember anything about allergies. It was also about how the US was decimated by a large EMP weapon. It stared Jessica Alba in the lead roll.

 

[redzinger]

If I 'member right, Dark Angel was about a genetically enhanced human. I don't remember anything about allergies. It was also about how the US was decimated by a large EMP weapon. It stared Jessica Alba in the lead roll.

IIRC, Alba's character carried a virus which would kill her love interest if she touched him. Or something like that.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

IIRC, Alba's character carried a virus which would kill her love interest if she touched him. Or something like that.

So basically she's like Rogue from the X-Men? Only not as cool

 

[redzinger]

So basically she's like Rogue from the X-Men? Only not as cool

I dunno, I didn't really concentrate on her from when Jensen Ackles came into the series. Yum.

 

[LeaHarvey1821]

Well eel porn is a real thing, so there's that.

Well, um, I don't quite know what to say about that. I am a curious enough person that wonder, but I don't think I'm that curious.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

Well, um, I don't quite know what to say about that. I am a curious enough person that wonder, but I don't think I'm that curious.

It's probably for the best you don't wonder too much about it. Trust me, there are plenty of things I wish I could un-know.

 

[LeaHarvey1821]

It's probably for the best you don't wonder too much about it. Trust me, there are plenty of things I wish I could un-know.

When I was writing More Than Expected, I did a quick search to make sure that noodle was the correct term for what I was writing about, a pool noodle. Except when I typed it, I typed poo noodle (forgetting the L), and I found out what a poop noodle was, yeah, there is no unknowing some things.

 

[PennLady]

So basically she's like Rogue from the X-Men? Only not as cool

No. Max (Alba's character) didn't suck a person's life form. I forget who did it (Dark Angel was a long time ago), but someone made Max's love interest allergic to her. And of course they find this out right after Max realizes she loves him for real, not just when her feline side kicks in and she goes into heat, and she kisses him and -- trouble.

Seemed a rather extreme way to prolong the will they/won't they part of the show.

 

[Rozalin_0123]

No. Max (Alba's character) didn't suck a person's life form. I forget who did it (Dark Angel was a long time ago), but someone made Max's love interest allergic to her. And of course they find this out right after Max realizes she loves him for real, not just when her feline side kicks in and she goes into heat, and she kisses him and -- trouble.

Seemed a rather extreme way to prolong the will they/won't they part of the show.

I was simply meaning if Rogue touched her love interest she would kill them, like this Max character.

 

[Over_Red]

Thoughts?

Meh. Cracked was funnier before it started trying so hard.

I did grin a bit at the thought of a weresalmon.

 

[redzinger]

I have read stories with some pretty weird varieties of weres before now, some of them not sexy at all.

 

[Bramblethorn]

It's always puzzled me how these characters being sucked dry always manage to come, when an orgasm is related to the build-up of blood, not loss of it.

Vampires inject anticoagulant and vasodilators that encourage blood to flow freely, making it easier to feed. Orgasm is a side-effect.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

IIRC, Alba's character carried a virus which would kill her love interest if she touched him. Or something like that.

Uh, no...no mention of her being infected by anything in the synopsis.

In 2009, a genetically enhanced, 9-year-old female super-soldier who calls herself Max Guevara (Jessica Alba) escapes along with eleven others like herself from a secret government institution, codenamed Manticore, where they were born, raised and trained to be soldiers and assassins. On June 1, 2009, months after Max's escape, terrorists detonate an electromagnetic pulse weapon in the atmosphere over the U.S., which destroys the vast majority of computer and communication systems, throwing the country into chaos.

The first season begins ten years later in 2019, as it follows the life of the now 19-year-old Max as she struggles to search for her Manticore brothers and sisters. In a United States which is now barely more than a Third World nation, she tries to live her life, evade capture, and learn to trust and love. She becomes involved with Logan Cale (Michael Weatherly), an underground cyber-journalist with the alias Eyes Only, who recruits her to help fight corruption in the post-Pulse world, while at the same time she makes a living as a bicycle messenger at a courier company named Jam Pony along with her friends Original Cindy (Valarie Rae Miller), Herbal Thought (Alimi Ballard), and Sketchy (Richard Gunn). Other X-5s are periodically introduced, most significantly Zack (William Gregory Lee), the unit leader. The Manticore hunt for the escaped X-5s is led by Colonel Donald Lydecker (John Savage), who is ousted at the end of the season by the even more ruthless Elizabeth Renfro (Nana Visitor).

In the second season of the show, the tone changes as Max and Logan bring down Manticore and free all the transgenics within. Two others become main characters: Alec (Jensen Ackles), a fellow X-5 who joins Jam Pony, and Joshua (Kevin Durand), a transgenic with canine DNA. Max later learns that Joshua was the first transgenic created by Manticore's founder Sandeman. It becomes apparent that Manticore produced many different animal mixes as well as other experiments with unique abilities. A major theme in the second season is the discovery of an even more deadly enemy than Lydecker or Renfro, namely a millennia-old breeding cult similar in structure to the Illuminati. This has resulted in humans even more formidable than the Manticore-produced transgenics, and even some with strong telekinetic powers. Ames White (Martin Cummins), a government agent introduced early in the second season trying to eliminate the loose transgenics, is revealed to be a member of the cult. When a strange message written in Max's genetic code makes an appearance on her skin, it is revealed that Sandeman is a renegade from the breeding cult and Ames White is his son, who is still loyal to the cult and hates his father's transgenic creations with a passion. The second season ends before Sandeman's plan for Max can be revealed.