Friend Zone Jackie wants to show me his penis

[LadyFunkenstein]

He told me about a few months ago. It's called phimosis. A tight foreskin. He can fuck but has to take it slowly in the beginning. I looked up phimosis on wikipedia and was disgusted. Jackie is in his fifties and I am pretty sure he is in love with me.

I bought him a bag of bitter gourd, recommended by a friend from India who says they juice it to lower blood sugar. After have a three hour Raymond Carver inspired conversation elsewhere with a stranger, I showed up at the bar empty handed and mildly drunk, where I met his new/old girlfriend. She didn't like me. His girlfriends never do. His first girlfriend from 40 years ago and now they are back together. She is jealous of me. I politely spoke to them bothwhile quietly texting Dan the pool player. Dan is much younger and seems to have a huge cock. I was interested in finding out about that.

Jackie put me in a cab at 11, paid the driver and gave my address. I texted Dan my address on the way home and fucked him later that night. I was right. He has a huge brown cock with an angry looking red head to it.

Today Jackie texted me. "I want to show you something.."

"Oh yeah, what is that?"

"I want to show you my foreskin, Funk. U R the only one who hasn't seen it." He called me but I let it go to voice mail. He wanted to pick up the bitter gourd and show me his penis.

I will probably see Jackie tomorrow. What is the deal with his penis? Will he pull it out while it is limp then jack it to give me the complete picture? Am I expected to touch it? Is he going to try to fuck me?

 

[RobDownSouth]

Is he going to try to fuck me?

C'mon darling...this isn't your first rodeo.

No guy wants to "just show you his penis" if he doesn't have plans for using it somewhere inside of you.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

I don't have a foreskin, but now I kinda wish I had one just to call up a gal and say unabashedly, "I wanna show you my foreskin. You're the only one who hasn't seen it."

You need a foreskin to say that kinda shit. Unless you can make your dick do other magic tricks.

 

[RobDownSouth]

I don't have a foreskin, but now I kinda wish I had one just to call up a gal and say unabashedly, "I wanna show you my foreskin. You're the only one who hasn't seen it."

You need a foreskin to say that kinda shit. Unless you can make your dick do other magic tricks.

I've had some luck with "Gee, aquagal, does it look like my foreskin is growing back?"

(I tried that with Lorilei too...no luck. She said she couldn't honestly remember what a penis looked like!)

 

[pointless]

he probably just wants to show you a neat magic trick.

like doves will come out of his urethra or a multitude of colorful handkerchiefs.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

I don't have a foreskin, but now I kinda wish I had one just to call up a gal and say unabashedly, "I wanna show you my foreskin. You're the only one who hasn't seen it."

You need a foreskin to say that kinda shit. Unless you can make your dick do other magic tricks.

I have been on a Latino kick of late, and they all have foreskins.
Mexican comedian, and dan and jackie are both puerto rican.

 

[Jennifer]

Phimosis is ugly looking. Don't do it!! Those cocks remind me of some scary looking sea creature. A one eyed eel maybe.

 

[Saint Peter]

http://www.medevolutioninc.com/medvImages/cea-11.jpg

Umm...

 

[Jennifer]

http://www.medevolutioninc.com/medvImages/cea-11.jpg

Umm...

Sometimes it looks like that on the underside which is even more awful.

Is that cock shooting lasers?

 

[Mr Noone]

That's a funky looking screen.

 

[Que]

You know Jackie Martling?


Wait..I think I read something wrong.


Long story as to how and why but a woman of my acquaintance followed me into my room when I was going expressly to change. I pointed out she was about to get an eyeful. She said that was her intent. Said she had wanted to see 'it.' It isn't that renowned, or on balance- noteworthy.

Seemed off, but WTF?

So, I dropped trou. She murmured some kind words, then went to leave.

Fortunately it was not cold, but 'it,' though intrigued, was not shall we say... fully present in the moment. I tried to explain that. My aim was kind of in hopes that she would be further intrigued, and as Bob said something would happen.

She left anyway, but texted shortly thereafter explaining that she had a bad habit of putting those things in her mouth. WTF???

So yeah...seemed weird but I figured something was likely to happen. She was after all a lets say man-friendly woman, and knew that I knew that. She was actively propositioning me while she was married, more circumspect while single as she was then.

I suspect your friend thinks that too.

 

[pointless]

no, it's being attacked by several pairs of scissors at once.

 

[Jennifer]

no, it's being attacked by several pairs of scissors at once.

Oh yeah. I need an eye exam.

Don't be fooled by the pink-flesh tone either. That thing would be red and angry looking after wards. Ouch.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

So how do I get out of this? I want to keep him in the friend zone and have no interest in fucking him. He is my personal cock blocker so I can go out with him and he has the uncanny ability to know when someone is trying to fuck me. (He blocked pool player Dan a week ago but obviously that didn't stick.) Also he takes me out to dinner and concerts and stuff which I enjoy. He took me to Tom Petty, what an amazing show that was!

Lest anyone think I am being shitty by keeping him the FZ, I have someone doing the same to me. Fuck Buddy Phil does to me what I do to Jackie. He extracts what he wants (sex) and does not give me what I'd really like to get from him (intimacy). In fact Phil was trying to get me to go to his place last night. The friend zone is the exact opposite - I extract what I want (intimacy) and don't give him what he wants (sex). Don't hate the players, hate the game... I simply lean in to the laws of the jungle.

It's funny, he and I were having dinner at a sidewalk cafe and his then girlfriend came up, seeing us from a distance. She shrieked, "Why is it that I am the one who gives up the pussy yet Funk is the one who always gets dinners and dirinks???" Law of the jungle, baby. It's ok to be a whore, just make sure you keep it a secret. No one bank rolls an old whore. She dry humps dudes in the bar for a dime bag of white.

 

[Jennifer]

Tell Jackie if he has to show it then you will have to fix it with scissors and a clamp. Explain that you googled the procedure and feel confident in your surgical skills. Or, look at it and pretend to faint. Tell him you have A phobia
about abnormal foreskin and will faint every time you see it.

 

[bronzeage]

Fifty something years is a longtime to live with a tight foreskin. More than enough time to get used to it and more than enough time to think about doing something to correct the problem.

Fifty something is also enough time to learn the "Wanna see my cock?" line just doesn't work often enough to be worth the trouble.

 

[Que]

You just have to tell him..."Sorry, not interested in seeing the D. That would be weird."

Let him wonder if it is a FZ statement or commentary on his equipment.

 

[RobDownSouth]

It's funny, he and I were having dinner at a sidewalk cafe and his then girlfriend came up, seeing us from a distance. She shrieked, "Why is it that I am the one who gives up the pussy yet Funk is the one who always gets dinners and dirinks???" Law of the jungle, baby. It's ok to be a whore, just make sure you keep it a secret. No one bank rolls an old whore. She dry humps dudes in the bar for a dime bag of white.

Your life is never boring.

 

[GimpyIntellect]

I found this thread oddly arousing.

I'm not sure why.

 

[FGB]

I've had some weird experiences dealing with people and all but you have the right to say "Oh Hell NO! I am NOT going there!"

Tell him he isn't getting any, so why in hell would you want to look at it?

 

[fluffPE]

http://www.medevolutioninc.com/medvImages/cea-11.jpg

Umm...

I don't get it? The arrows....