how to get her to go smooth?

[helplessharold]

Okay so the title needs an explanation because it looks like a simple problem ,"just ask her". When me and my wife first started dating I tried oral fairly soon because I fucking hunger to taste a woman as soon as we are in bed. It was great, she was mostly shaved which is a plus for me, nothing is more of a turn off than a stray pube in my throat (shudder). Now I don't like her shaved all the time because it's her body and however she feels attractive makes me happy. Here's the problem I cant go down on her because even though she keeps it trimmed nothing makes me flacid faster than going down near pubic hair. I'm not sure how to get her as smooth as possible without stepping on a few toes but it's been years since I've had a chance to eat her out and it's seriously making me hunger for a taste super bad.

Just some extras, no I don't like oral done to me and have just started shaving.....err down there just in case she ever wants to give it to me. She keeps hinting at me giving her some but I don't know how to pose my problem so I can give it to her. Any help at all would be appreciated!

 

[Monica_112]

Do it for her

Or tell her to do it

I don't get the problem

"Hey homey, I love eating your pussy when it's smooth and sweet and shaved, I've run you a bath with your favourite oils and the razors right there"

 

[helplessharold]

Do it for her

Or tell her to do it

I don't get the problem

"Hey homey, I love eating your pussy when it's smooth and sweet and shaved, I've run you a bath with your favourite oils and the razors right there"

Offered once... that was the longest and most awkward night ever. I guess I left out she hates being completely shaved down there, trimmed yes, landing strip even? No luck. She feels like she's prepubescent and it grosses her out.

 

[Monica_112]

Then get over yourself, a bit of hair never killed anyone

Pull her lips back hard so she's fully exposed, she'll probably like it most do, and go for it, you won't get any hair particularly if she's closely trimmed

 

[unregistered]

 

[Athalia]

This seems like your issue, not hers.

I agree!

 

[helplessharold]

^^^You've answered your own question.

Why would you demand or persuade her to do something to her body that grosses her out? I get that you'd prefer it, but I would hope it would also be important to you that she feels comfortable, confident, and sexy. She doesn't feel that way bald because it reminds her of prepubescence.

This seems like your issue, not hers.

I guess so, it's just infuriating because I know she did it pre me. This was my last ditch effort *shrug* I'm happily married without it and I'll just have to stay used to it. It's an impossible impasse.

 

[unregistered]

 

[MeekMe]

Over time preferences can change. She liked shaving before you, which was a different time in her life. Now her preference is very different. I'm always a little boggled when people complain about hair in their throat. It's not like it just sheds into your mouth. If it's neatly trimmed and she likes it that way, perhaps you could give it a try and see if your preferences have changed.

If it's such a problem and she wants head then explain to her your dilemma. There is probably a compromise that the two of you could come up with together. If it's too uncomfortable for her, don't pressure her or try to make her feel guilty.

 

[helplessharold]

It's just hair.

Yeah, it is, but that argument could go both ways. I'm not saying it's rational but it makes my skin crawl. It's not a make or break in our marriage and I'm not gonna tackle that fear as long as our marriage is good.

 

[helplessharold]

Over time preferences can change. She liked shaving before you, which was a different time in her life. Now her preference is very different. I'm always a little boggled when people complain about hair in their throat. It's not like it just sheds into your mouth. If it's neatly trimmed and she likes it that way, perhaps you could give it a try and see if your preferences have changed.

If it's such a problem and she wants head then explain to her your dilemma. There is probably a compromise that the two of you could come up with together. If it's too uncomfortable for her, don't pressure her or try to make her feel guilty.

Oh god no I'd never pressure her! That makes my stomach churn just thinking about that, I mean we do kinky stuff but nothing out of our comfort zone. I was asking how to approach her in a way that wouldn't feel like I was a demanding ass I hope I didnt come across as an overbearing person.

 

[pfflyerhot]

How about you? Do you shave completely bare?

 

[MeekMe]

If there's any kind of decent communication happening between the two of you, it shouldn't be too hard to talk about this. You have a strong aversion to hair and she hates taking it all off. Certainly there's a compromise. Perhaps leaving the hair on the mons pubis while shaving the labia majora could work for both of you.

 

[helplessharold]

How about you? Do you shave completely bare?

Yes, fairly recently but I'd never ask if I wasn't willing to do the same. That would be a shitty move.

 

[jp_2012]

Work it into some foreplay and do it for her. Sure she won't complain. Just be careful!

 

[silverwhisper]

harold, have you asked her why her attitude towards it has changed? maybe understanding the why would help in terms of how you feel about it, man.

ed

 

[helplessharold]

Oh man thanks for all the replies guys! After the original resounding consensus I felt my hopes dashed.

MeekMe: our communication was pretty shit until the start of this year but that was all my fault, I kept rejecting sex because I'm just not all that interested in sex in general never have been. Realizing I was killing our marriage I started writing dirty stories for her... not so much for her to read but every time I did I felt aroused so our sex life improved from once every few months to once every few days and with that we started talking and really communicating more. This is sort of me wanting to add on and build from what I started in the spring but I'm not sure our communication is up to that just yet, I mean I resurrected a dying marriage to a happy one but it's still not perfect and I'm just not willing to risk it over pushing our conversations in areas neither one of us would be comfortable in. I hope that makes sense, I honestly was hoping to talk to people who are like me (preferably men) just to get some advice at what they did.

jp_2012: I tried doing it for her once, sort of how I found out about her feelings. I would feel like an utter bastard doing it without her permission foreplay or not.

 

[helplessharold]

harold, have you asked her why her attitude towards it has changed? maybe understanding the why would help in terms of how you feel about it, man.

ed

I've been mulling that over. I'm not the jealous type, in fact I think her flirting is healthy since our sex lives were practically non existent, but I'm terrified that her answer would be 'a only for him' sort of thing. That would hurt, I know it shouldn't but it would suck there is something she'd for only for someone that wasn't me and that's scary. I do think that I'll have to ask her that question I just don't want to for anxiety sake.

 

[jp_2012]

So hold on, she wants you to go down on her but won't 'clean up' for it? Maybe meet someplace in the middle?

 

[helplessharold]

So hold on, she wants you to go down on her but won't 'clean up' for it? Maybe meet someplace in the middle?

It's not like she has a hedge down her pants haha. I do keep hearing compromise now I'm wondering more and more how I reach it, if it's possible.

 

[Harold_Hill]

Offered once... that was the longest and most awkward night ever. I guess I left out she hates being completely shaved down there, trimmed yes, landing strip even? No luck. She feels like she's prepubescent and it grosses her out.

Oh god no I'd never pressure her! That makes my stomach churn just thinking about that, I mean we do kinky stuff but nothing out of our comfort zone. I was asking how to approach her in a way that wouldn't feel like I was a demanding ass I hope I didnt come across as an overbearing person.

The first thing you need to do is learn to talk to your wife about anything and everything. She's your wife, not someone you just met! Talk to her and tell her what you want, and why you want it. Then give her facts about why women remove not just their pubic hair, but their body hair. Removing pubic hair has nothing to do with being prepubescent or not being prepubescent. She shaves her legs doesn't she? And does she pluck her eyebrows? And she cuts the hair on her head doesn't she? Women remove body hair for hygiene and appearance reasons, including pubic hair. Have an adult conversation with your wife.

 

[Felix_Jones]

Okay so the title needs an explanation because it looks like a simple problem ,"just ask her". When me and my wife first started dating I tried oral fairly soon because I fucking hunger to taste a woman as soon as we are in bed. It was great, she was mostly shaved which is a plus for me, nothing is more of a turn off than a stray pube in my throat (shudder). Now I don't like her shaved all the time because it's her body and however she feels attractive makes me happy. Here's the problem I cant go down on her because even though she keeps it trimmed nothing makes me flacid faster than going down near pubic hair. I'm not sure how to get her as smooth as possible without stepping on a few toes but it's been years since I've had a chance to eat her out and it's seriously making me hunger for a taste super bad.

Just some extras, no I don't like oral done to me and have just started shaving.....err down there just in case she ever wants to give it to me. She keeps hinting at me giving her some but I don't know how to pose my problem so I can give it to her. Any help at all would be appreciated!

Break up with her. People are boring and relationships are not worth the effort.

 

[helplessharold]

The first thing you need to do is learn to talk to your wife about anything and everything. She's your wife, not someone you just met! Talk to her and tell her what you want, and why you want it. Then give her facts about why women remove not just their pubic hair, but their body hair. Removing pubic hair has nothing to do with being prepubescent or not being prepubescent. She shaves her legs doesn't she? And does she pluck her eyebrows? And she cuts the hair on her head doesn't she? Women remove body hair for hygiene and appearance reasons, including pubic hair. Have an adult conversation with your wife.

That's probably the most rational thing. I think I have some more damage to undo from having sex with her only a dozen times over a 5 year marriage but that gives me hope when we're back to where we can talk about everything like we used to. It's all nearly back the way that it was and after it is and once I can talk to her about it more openly I'll use those arguments if it's not completely her choice I'll let it go and start working on my own issues with hair.

 

[helplessharold]

Break up with her. People are boring and relationships are not worth the effort.

Nah, she went into this realizing it was mostly going to be a sexless marriage, she went through that for me so this relationship is worth it and I've been doing my part like she did.

 

[jp_2012]

Women should be bald eyes down.

My opinion anyway.