Friday off

[sexualman123]

Halloween: I have Friday’s off.
Disclaimer:
1. I am a dyslexic and so spelling and grammatical interpretation are part of the adventure
2. Very, very dry sense of humor
3. Not drunk yet, but will be.

Here is what I am doing today.

Day drinking, I hear it is a thing so I’m going to give it a whirl, then Halloween office party because that is what I want to do on my day off. Go to an OFFICE PARTY…… hence day drinking to help hid my later contempt.
Here is what I am looking for:

A graceful 23year old ballerina. Who likes a loud, obnoxious, drunk older man that will use her all day and night as I see fit.
No takers on that? I am shocked, mystified, flabbergasted, befuddled even, that there are no sexy 23yr olds willing to put up with that shit.

FINE I will play nice, and by nice I will try to act like a decent human being. As the day continues the chances of me telling you to show me your boobs will increase exponentially. So fair warning.
In all sober seriousness. I am a decent guy that likes to have a good time and laugh. So pm me reply to the thread. It could be an interesting day.

 

[marla56]

well i'm not 23, not nor ever was i a ballerina..that's too girlie girl for me..at 23 i was on horseback..going over 3 and 4ft jumps, which actually put me 6 to 7 ft in the air. i can be 23 if no one else answers back. i'm online from 8am to 4pm east coast time mon-fri and some weekends.

 

[sexualman123]

well i'm not 23, not nor ever was i a ballerina..that's too girlie girl for me..at 23 i was on horseback..going over 3 and 4ft jumps, which actually put me 6 to 7 ft in the air. i can be 23 if no one else answers back. i'm online from 8am to 4pm east coast time mon-fri and some weekends.

those are very specific hours... which leads me to believe you must work in a heavily regulated office. With horses.... that is a little weird, but a strangly awesome image.

 

[sexualman123]

Public notice

The first alcoholic beverage has been poured. It is a firehouse lager. very nice with my sandwhich.

which by the way i'm annoyed I havn't found the 23yr old to make for me... sigh my life is soooo rough.

 

[angelfish01]

You crack me up..........

 

[sexualman123]

You crack me up..........

excellent. Laughter is good for the soul. and facial muscles you've got to work those out too. Every day can't be leg day.

 

[ElasticMermaid]

I'm better in every way now than I was at 23. Well, except for defying gravity. But beyond that!

 

[sexualman123]

I'm better in every way now than I was at 23. Well, except for defying gravity. But beyond that!

defying gravity is overrated. otherwise we would all float off into the void, and really who would post funny cat pics if we were all floating around in perpetual youth.

The world needs cat pics, and gravity, and people who are not me and actually act their age.

 

[sexualman123]

alrighty party people

I have finished with the office party now into a nice bottle of scotch and men and black III because that is how I roll.

 

[breathlesnsmart]

I have finished with the office party now into a nice bottle of scotch and men and black III because that is how I roll.

Okay yes please -- that sounds like a hilarious Friday Night

 

[sexualman123]

Okay yes please -- that sounds like a hilarious Friday Night

I know right..... also kind of a sad Friday night. Or would be if it were someone other than me. I make it awesome. Like 2am poptart awesome.

 

[sexualman123]

FIRST evening funny.

stood up to let dog out.... maybe stood up a tad fast, maybe had several whisky sour's at the party before the scotch.... but were it not for the giant post in the middle of my living room I would have tasted the floor.

.... maybe you had to be there

 

[breathlesnsmart]

I know right..... also kind of a sad Friday night. Or would be if it were someone other than me. I make it awesome. Like 2am poptart awesome.

Umm is there anything more awesome than 2am poptart action?

 

[sexualman123]

Umm is there anything more awesome than 2am poptart action?

3am Whataburger taquito?

 

[breathlesnsmart]

3am Whataburger taquito?

Ohhhhh I see what you did there. That just blew my mind.

 

[sexualman123]

Ohhhhh I see what you did there. That just blew my mind.

Evening Funny #2

raised hands in air and yelled "yes!" to no one.

I am so smooth.

 

[breathlesnsmart]

Evening Funny #2

raised hands in air and yelled "yes!" to no one.

I am so smooth.

Now I'm just impressed.

 

[sexualman123]

Now I'm just impressed.

was that sarcasm? you are all about sarcasm. its okay its cool. I'm only mortally wounded. this means more scotch. I'm like popeye but with scotch

 

[sexualman123]

third funny:

my phone just sent out an amber alert.... made me jump and I made that random noise guys make when they are scared and no one is around

 

[sexualman123]

fourth funny

which was actually the first funny, just not inebriated enough to admit until this point.

so there was a fish in the tank when I got to the office party... one of the swarmy guys asked the one an only interesting for water like she was a servant or something.

i may have showed her where she could get some water without going to the kitchen.

I am not a nice person.

 

[sexualman123]

hey, hey... no really

wait i forgot the rest of the story. but why is it that women only try to take advantage of me when i'm drunk....(it works when i'm sober too) just saying