Tease me, Hurt me, Use me, Fuck me

[Emilygracesub24]

I'm looking for a Daddy (or Mommy) to hurt me mentally, physically, and sexually. Abuse, rape, all that

 

[salvo601]

hurt you

would love to see all you can take

 

[mike_confident]

I'm looking for a Daddy (or Mommy) to hurt me mentally, physically, and sexually. Abuse, rape, all that

It really shocks me, the number of people i see on here looking to act out something hundreds of real victims spend a lifetime trying to get over.

 

[strong_daddy]

It really shocks me, the number of people i see on here looking to act out something hundreds of real victims spend a lifetime trying to get over.

there is a with gap between acting it out as a request and having the act forced on you

 

[mike_confident]

there is a with gap between acting it out as a request and having the act forced on you

I get that.

But her specific focus on the mental and physical abuse still urks me.

 

[TwistedLongings]

Lots of victims have fantasies about it. Rape fantasies are pretty common, period. Once you accept some people are masochists, how do you decide what kind of pain is wrong or right for their sexuality?

 

[mike_confident]

Lots of victims have fantasies about it. Rape fantasies are pretty common, period. Once you accept some people are masochists, how do you decide what kind of pain is wrong or right for their sexuality?

Rape victims fantasize about being raped again?

 

[TwistedLongings]

Some absolutely think about it and get off on the fantasy. It absolutely doesn't mean they want to be raped again.

 

[mike_confident]

Some absolutely think about it and get off on the fantasy. It absolutely doesn't mean they want to be raped again.

And what are you basing this statement on? Because you're essentially saying it's common for PTSD rape survivors to fantasize the very thing that causes their diagnosis.

It's like saying PTSD soldiers day dream about going back to combat despite the night terrors.

Neither of us are therapist/psychologists, and unless someone here can provide that sort of feedback, we're not going to get anywhere in this debate.

 

[TwistedLongings]

I'm talking about personal experiences with women I actually know. That's why I said "some."

And PTSD? You mean like when she wakes you up in an anxiety attack in the middle of the night, flashing back? Sometimes has the attacks after going to see her therapist for PTSD? Yes, sometimes women like that have rape fantasies, too. Your not getting that won't make it untrue.

I'm not offering you my opinions, I'm offering you observations. I don't need a degree to have them. I've known several women who were victims. Some were lovers. I don't need a degree to know that some rape victims still have rape fantasies, or that rape fantasies don't mean they want to be back there.

 

[CuriousAlGuy]

I agree with you Mike.

 

[SoulWeavinGirl]

It really shocks me, the number of people i see on here looking to act out something hundreds of real victims spend a lifetime trying to get over.

Thank you!

 

[mike_confident]

I'm not offering you my opinions, I'm offering you observations. I don't need a degree to have them. I've known several women who were victims. Some were lovers. I don't need a degree to know that some rape victims still have rape fantasies, or that rape fantasies don't mean they want to be back there.

And I know just as many rap victims, some lovers, who are the total opposite of what you're describing. I've seen first hand the effects it can cause on relationships and their personal life.

Two consenting adults can fantasize doing whatever they want.

But what you're describing just sounds contrary to the realities of society.

 

[Jesella22]

And what are you basing this statement on? Because you're essentially saying it's common for PTSD rape survivors to fantasize the very thing that causes their diagnosis.

It's like saying PTSD soldiers day dream about going back to combat despite the night terrors.



Preach.
Making up statistics is just that---made up.

 

[TwistedLongings]

Gosh, the realities of reality don't match the realities of reality?

I mean, you just tried to tell my experiences don't match reality. I know, what you mean is you don't accept them.

That doesn't make them any less real.

 

[mike_confident]

Gosh, the realities of reality don't match the realities of reality?

I mean, you just tried to tell my experiences don't match reality. I know, what you mean is you don't accept them.

That doesn't make them any less real.

No I'm calling bullshit when I see it.

Try going into a women's shelter and telling them, that despite living in fear, some of them actual fantasize what they're running away from. See how far it gets you.

 

[TwistedLongings]

Yes, my experiences weren't real. It's cute that you've gone from just saying "nuh-uh, nuh-uh," to being outride rude to me for not concurring with your opinion.

Here's some feedback from someone with a psych degree:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201012/the-rape-fantasy

This also doens't match your reality

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/200805/why-do-women-have-erotic-rape-fantasies

This of course was completely unneccessary, and clearly it doesn't match what I'm telling you:

http://www.pandys.org/articles/rapefantasies.pdf


Hell, they probably make up the questions, answers and comments here:

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110516082228AA9cecN

Here's another site, with a link to the pandys.org essay above:

http://www.emandlo.com/2012/10/dear-em-lo-are-rape-fantasies-normal-if-im-a-rape-survivor/

So no, I'm not making this up. It's not something to celebrate. It's just another sad fact about a horrible crime. But it's a fact, and none of your denials are gonna change it.

Because any bullshit here wasn't coming from me.

 

[Jesella22]

Yes, my experiences weren't real. It's cute that you've gone from just saying "nuh-uh, nuh-uh," to being outride rude to me for not concurring with your opinion.

Here's some feedback from someone with a psych degree:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201012/the-rape-fantasy

This also doens't match your reality

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/psyched/200805/why-do-women-have-erotic-rape-fantasies

This of course was completely unneccessary, and clearly it doesn't match what I'm telling you:

http://www.pandys.org/articles/rapefantasies.pdf


Hell, they probably make up the questions, answers and comments here:

https://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110516082228AA9cecN

Here's another site, with a link to the pandys.org essay above:

http://www.emandlo.com/2012/10/dear-em-lo-are-rape-fantasies-normal-if-im-a-rape-survivor/

So no, I'm not making this up. It's not something to celebrate. It's just another sad fact about a horrible crime. But it's a fact, and none of your denials are gonna change it.

Because any bullshit here wasn't coming from me.

You provided evidence against your case. In the Psychology Today article it states that "the prevalence of the fantasy of rape among women and men who have never experienced such events. The rape fantasy may very well occur independent of a traumatic event."


Game, Set, Match.

 

[TwistedLongings]

You provided evidence against your case. In the Psychology Today article it states that "the prevalence of the fantasy of rape among women and men who have never experienced such events. The rape fantasy may very well occur independent of a traumatic event."


Game, Set, Match.

Man, it's funny when someone declares themselves the winner of a debate. I said rape victims have rape fantasies. That doesn't disprove what I'm saying. Saying it "May very well occur independent of a traumatic event" isn't the same as saying "It never stems from a traumatic event."

Rape victims have rape fantasies. It's a fact. You can not like it all you want, but that's not my problem.

Maybe you folks should try not slamming other people's kinks when you're on Literotica. Ever heard of YKINMKBYKIOK? Long as no one's actually being hurt, and everyone's consenting (and I hope I don't have to explain the concept of consensual nonconsent to a subscriber to Literotica), if you' don't like what they like then just be cool and leave them alone.

 

[mike_confident]

I can google dozens of academic links arguing the opposite.

At best the links you provided, suggest victims have these fantasies as a coping mechanism to feel in control of what's tormenting them mentally. But as I said, neither of us are psychologists, so I'm not engaging in this any further out of respect for those in this forum who are indeed victims of sex crimes.

I'm not naive, there are completely normal, consenting adults who like to roleplay and explore the sub/dom relationships of rape fantasies. I get that, and to each their own.

But what I don't like about this thread, and ones particularly like it, is that they don't even pretend to be about roleplays or the sub/dom relationships of rape fantasies, rather they blatantly make the abuse itself the object of sexual desire. And for me, that's just fucked up.

 

[Jesella22]

Lots of victims have fantasies about it. Rape fantasies are pretty common, period.

I said rape victims have rape fantasies. That doesn't disprove what I'm saying.








No what you originally stated is that "lots of victims have fantasies about rape"

And the article that you provided clearly states that " the prevalence of the fantasy of rape among women and men (are among those) who have never experienced such events. "

So what you originally stated is false---the majority of people with rape fantasies have never experienced actual rape.







Long as no one's actually being hurt, and everyone's consenting (and I hope I don't have to explain the concept of consensual nonconsent to a subscriber to Literotica), if you' don't like what they like then just be cool and leave them alone.

No where did I state that I had an issue with this fantasy or the poster, however if you're going to make a bold statement be precise and provide actual facts (specifically facts that don't go against your case).

 

[jbro]

As for combat PTSD survivers, yes there are some that not only "daydream" about going back into combat, but also wish we were still in combat. This is personal experience.

 

[mike_confident]

As for combat PTSD survivers, yes there are some that not only "daydream" about going back into combat, but also wish we were still in combat. This is personal experience.

touche
perhaps i was out of touch making that cross comparison.
Apologies, hope you get better.

 

[TwistedLongings]

No where did I state that I had an issue with this fantasy or the poster, however if you're going to make a bold statement be precise and provide actual facts (specifically facts that don't go against your case).

No what you originally stated is that "lots of victims have fantasies about rape"

And the article that you provided clearly states that " the prevalence of the fantasy of rape among women and men (are among those) who have never experienced such events. "

So what you originally stated is false---the majority of people with rape fantasies have never experienced actual rape.

I never at any point said the majority of people with rape fantasies have experienced rape. Saying "Lots of victims have fantasies about it. Rape fantasies are pretty common, period." Is not the same as saying," Most people who have rape fantasies were victims of rape."

The full quote from that graf in the article is this:

"There is a general assumption, among people, advocates and therapists, that for a victim of sexual assault to fantasize about being violated, there must be something wrong. This fantasy must reflect some pathological process. I disagree. First, I will point out the prevalence of the fantasy of rape among women and men who have never experienced such events. The rape fantasy may very well occur independent of a traumatic event."

So he's pretty clearly saying victims fantasizing about rape is a thing that happens.

Now, actually my reasoning would be this: He says "My hesitance was because I was presenting that the rape fantasy is exceedingly common among women, with as many as 25-40% of women endorsing some form of this fantasy, at least once in their lives."

So, it's common among women. And it happens enough among rape victims that he brings it up at a conference on treating assault, where he "explored the issue of the female rape fantasy, how it presents in therapy, and its relation to the effects of assault."

He says this:
"I don't believe that women in general, or sexual assault victims specifically, are retraumatizing themselves by revisiting these experiences and fantasies. For many, I believe that, like any fantasy or daydream, it is a way for a person to mentally assert control over a situation in which they were powerless."

And this:
"We should not automatically characterize this fantasy as a symptom of an illness, resulting from a history of rape or sexual assault. Instead, we may need to consider the possibility that this fantasy represents a normal, even a healthy, attempt by a person to regain some control over their sexuality, and the way in which their traumatic history affects them."

And this:
"After my presentation, one of the women I had been cautiously watching came up to me. She had presented that day, on her own experience as a victim of rape. She hugged me, and thanked me for my presentation. She shared that she also had experienced such fantasies, and had struggled with them and her own reaction to them. She left, saying that my thoughts had helped her, and had given her permission to free her mind, her body and her sexuality, and to stop tearing herself up over her fantasies. It was nice that I was able to give her one less thing to worry about."

Which tracks pretty closely with what I've seen in some women I know, and what I have tried to communicate here.

So: I'm not saying most rape victims have rape fantasies. I'm saying there are lots who do. Would it make you feel better if I'd said "more than you'd expect?" Lots isn't most. The article said " the rape fantasy is exceedingly common among women, with as many as 25-40% of women endorsing some form of this fantasy, at least once in their lives." I don't know if the percentage among rape victims goes up or down, but the article makes it clear it comes up at conferences where clinical psychologists discuss treatment of sexual assault. I feel like that qualifies for "Lots," so I'm gonna go ahead and stand by it.

Anyway, it's late. Good night.

 

[Jesella22]

I never at any point said the majority of people with rape fantasies have experienced rape. Saying "Lots of victims have fantasies about it. Rape fantasies are pretty common, period." Is not the same as saying," Most people who have rape fantasies were victims of rape."

The full quote from that graf in the article is this:

"There is a general assumption, among people, advocates and therapists, that for a victim of sexual assault to fantasize about being violated, there must be something wrong. This fantasy must reflect some pathological process. I disagree. First, I will point out the prevalence of the fantasy of rape among women and men who have never experienced such events. The rape fantasy may very well occur independent of a traumatic event."

So he's pretty clearly saying victims fantasizing about rape is a thing that happens.

Now, actually my reasoning would be this: He says "My hesitance was because I was presenting that the rape fantasy is exceedingly common among women, with as many as 25-40% of women endorsing some form of this fantasy, at least once in their lives."

So, it's common among women. And it happens enough among rape victims that he brings it up at a conference on treating assault, where he "explored the issue of the female rape fantasy, how it presents in therapy, and its relation to the effects of assault."

He says this:
"I don't believe that women in general, or sexual assault victims specifically, are retraumatizing themselves by revisiting these experiences and fantasies. For many, I believe that, like any fantasy or daydream, it is a way for a person to mentally assert control over a situation in which they were powerless."

And this:
"We should not automatically characterize this fantasy as a symptom of an illness, resulting from a history of rape or sexual assault. Instead, we may need to consider the possibility that this fantasy represents a normal, even a healthy, attempt by a person to regain some control over their sexuality, and the way in which their traumatic history affects them."

And this:
"After my presentation, one of the women I had been cautiously watching came up to me. She had presented that day, on her own experience as a victim of rape. She hugged me, and thanked me for my presentation. She shared that she also had experienced such fantasies, and had struggled with them and her own reaction to them. She left, saying that my thoughts had helped her, and had given her permission to free her mind, her body and her sexuality, and to stop tearing herself up over her fantasies. It was nice that I was able to give her one less thing to worry about."

Which tracks pretty closely with what I've seen in some women I know, and what I have tried to communicate here.

So: I'm not saying most rape victims have rape fantasies. I'm saying there are lots who do. Would it make you feel better if I'd said "more than you'd expect?" Lots isn't most. The article said " the rape fantasy is exceedingly common among women, with as many as 25-40% of women endorsing some form of this fantasy, at least once in their lives." I don't know if the percentage among rape victims goes up or down, but the article makes it clear it comes up at conferences where clinical psychologists discuss treatment of sexual assault. I feel like that qualifies for "Lots," so I'm gonna go ahead and stand by it.

Anyway, it's late. Good night.

The argument was never if women have rape fantasies or not your original statement was that lots (which isn't in the minority) of women who have been sexually assaulted experience these fantasies and that it's a common occurrence.

If 25-40 percent of women (overall-- not specifically those who have been raped) experience the fantasy that would mean less than half at the most. How's that common?