Free to good home:

[Bidin~Time]

15 yr old cat. Has trouble making up her mind and will repeatedly ask to be outside, or inside, or outside, or maybe fed, oh have you checked my water bowl, multiple times on the hour. Will ignore you completely except on your days off when she will wake you before the crack of dawn for above-mentioned ritual. Also has a propensity to sleep in the middle of the bed, taking up the space of a Serengeti lioness although she is the size of a small dog. New owner should be prepared to never sit down, not even for meals, so as to be at her demented beck and call.

 

[Ishmael]

15 yr old cat. Has trouble making up her mind and will repeatedly ask to be outside, or inside, or outside, or maybe fed, oh have you checked my water bowl, multiple times on the hour. Will ignore you completely except on your days off when she will wake you before the crack of dawn for above-mentioned ritual. Also has a propensity to sleep in the middle of the bed, taking up the space of a Serengeti lioness although she is the size of a small dog. New owner should be prepared to never sit down, not even for meals, so as to be at her demented beck and call.

I've already got one of those.

Ishmael

 

[RobDownSouth]

15 yr old cat. Has trouble making up her mind and will repeatedly ask to be outside, or inside, or outside.

I had a battle of the wills with my brother's cat last weekend. I decided to indulge every single one of the damned thing's "I want in...out..in..." demands. This went on for 20 straight minutes. I finally admitted defeat.

 

[Bidin~Time]

I've already got one of those.

Ishmael

Oh good! Then another one won't mean much of an adjustment for you! PM your address and I'll arrange for her trip to you.

 

[Bidin~Time]

I had a battle of the wills with my brother's cat last weekend. I decided to indulge every single one of the damned thing's "I want in...out..in..." demands. This went on for 20 straight minutes. I finally admitted defeat.

I am sorry, sir, I can't consider you for new owner status until you can successfully spend a weekend with your brother's cat. The stamina required to live with this particular feline far outpaces the 20 minute annoyance you describe.

 

[Ishmael]

Oh good! Then another one won't mean much of an adjustment for you! PM your address and I'll arrange for her trip to you.

Ummmmmmmm.......no. They never synchronize the in/out thing even if they happen to be going in opposite directions. And two lioness's on the bed would only force me to the couch, where they would make a point of keeping me company anyway. And having two cats bitching at me when either the food dish or the water dish is not filled to over-brimming would probably cause me to move.

Ishmael

 

[RobDownSouth]

I am sorry, sir, I can't consider you for new owner status until you can successfully spend a weekend with your brother's cat. The stamina required to live with this particular feline far outpaces the 20 minute annoyance you describe.

I doubt even you, with your phenomenal patience and understanding, would stand at a door for 20 minutes straight doing Inside/Outside duty.

Seriously, I thought the cat would get tired of this long before I did. Maybe it's COCD (Cat OCD).

 

[butters]

no, you're alright - the mog here is about 13 or 14 now, and just as 'old ladyish' in her ways. she wants feeding when i first get up (she may have woken me just for this service) and when i get in from work. and immediately. but she doesn't want to eat with anyone else in the kitchen, and gets all huffy till we leave, and has to wait for shopping to be packed away or ironing done.

she has a lovely soft, warm catbed, but if there's clean laundry out not yet put away she'll find it.

with the summer, she's been used to doors and windows open most the time - now it's cooling down, she gets huffy about closed doors. sometimes she wants letting in through the front just to demand the backdoor's opened for her.

 

[Bidin~Time]

Ummmmmmmm.......no. They never synchronize the in/out thing even if they happen to be going in opposite directions. And two lioness's on the bed would only force me to the couch, where they would make a point of keeping me company anyway. And having two cats bitching at me when either the food dish or the water dish is not filled to over-brimming would probably cause me to move.

Ishmael

I see

<disappointed sigh>

I give you props for knowing the feline mentality and recognizing mere mortals are not usually up to the task of entertaining multiples of their kind. Some people don't, and this is when crazy cat people are created.

 

[Ishmael]

I see

<disappointed sigh>

I give you props for knowing the feline mentality and recognizing mere mortals are not usually up to the task of entertaining multiples of their kind. Some people don't, and this is when crazy cat people are created.

It is my firm conviction that anyone that has two or more cats at the same time for any extended period of time eventually becomes one of those you mentioned. The species is diabolically clever at driving the sane to such a condition.

Ishmael

 

[Bidin~Time]

I doubt even you, with your phenomenal patience and understanding, would stand at a door for 20 minutes straight doing Inside/Outside duty.

Seriously, I thought the cat would get tired of this long before I did. Maybe it's COCD (Cat OCD).

Never underestimate the tenacity of a senile cat. As for me, i have honed my mental off switch to proportions one can only describe as super human. Once I know she has what she needs, and have attended to a reasonable number of her wants, I ignore her until she gives up in feline disgust and goes to take a nap on my bed. Someday she will kill me in my sleep for my utter disregard of her unrealistic whims.

 

[Bidin~Time]

no, you're alright - the mog here is about 34 or 14 now, and just as 'old ladyish' in her ways. she wants feeding when i frst get up (she may have woken me just for this service) and when i get in from work. and immediately. but she doesn't want to eat with anyone else in the kitchen, and gets all huffy till we leave, and has to wait for shopping to be packed away or ironing done.

she has a lovely soft, warm catbed, but if there's clean laundry out not yet put away she'll find it.

with the summer, she's been used to doors and windows open most the time - now it's cooling down, she gets huffy about closed doors. sometimes she wants letting in through the front just to demand the backdoor's opened for her.

In reading this, I have had the epiphany that while people are whittling away their time fretting over how to survive a zombie apocalypse, the cats have been slowly taking over the world we once knew. The Catocalypse is upon us and no one has taken notice. We may all be doomed to cat servitude any day now.

 

[Bidin~Time]

It is my firm conviction that anyone that has two or more cats at the same time for any extended period of time eventually becomes one of those you mentioned. The species is diabolically clever at driving the sane to such a condition.

Ishmael

I agree with you and this is why I try to avoid kittens. Their use their utter adorable cuteness to their ultimate advantage, undermining and shaking my resolve to avoid bringing a second cat in the house. So far, I have been successful, but if i ever let my guard down, I may require an intervention.

 

[jessalynn15]

I get the feeling your cat's inner monologue probably sounds something like this.

 

[butters]

In reading this, I have had the epiphany that while people are whittling away their time fretting over how to survive a zombie apocalypse, the cats have been slowly taking over the world we once knew. The Catocalypse is upon us and no one has taken notice. We may all be doomed to cat servitude any day now.

yes, they're close to having domesticated us now

 

[RobDownSouth]

I get the feeling your cat's inner monologue probably sounds something like this.

That's one of my all-time favorite videos!!

 

[butters]

I get the feeling your cat's inner monologue probably sounds something like this.

oh, that is just purrfect!

specially the hollding the door open long enough for them to decide if they want to go out, or in, or out, or....

 

[Bidin~Time]

I get the feeling your cat's inner monologue probably sounds something like this.

LOL

this is ALL true!

 

[Bidin~Time]

oh, that is just purrfect!

specially the hollding the door open long enough for them to decide if they want to go out, or in, or out, or....

"Like Sisyphus, I am bound to hell"

 

[butters]

"Like Sisyphus, I am bound to hell"

*smiles*


they missed out: in some weak moments when i attempt to convey a sense of appreciation for not being totally neglected, i spend long moments laying out my gift of a dead food creature (that i have done no more than lick or chew on a little) in a perfectly straight line just outside the door; not only is it straight, but perfectly centered on the doormat so as not to remain unnoticed by the authorities. cruelly, my efforts are either trodden on or picked up and thrown far far away. it's soul-crushing. i need to go lie down in the basin now, just to recover my equilibrium.

 

[Bidin~Time]

*smiles*


they missed out: in some weak moments when i attempt to convey a sense of appreciation for not being totally neglected, i spend long moments laying out my gift of a dead food creature (that i have done no more than lick or chew on a little) in a perfectly straight line just outside the door; not only is it straight, but perfectly centered on the doormat so as not to remain unnoticed by the authorities. cruelly, my efforts are either trodden on or picked up and thrown far far away. it's soul-crushing. i need to go lie down in the basin now, just to recover my equilibrium.

Oh that is right on target!

 

[Bidin~Time]

and then there is this:

just in case we needed schooling

http://blog.virginia.org/2014/09/buckwheat/

 

[jessalynn15]

Dear diary, the authority seemed disturbed when I tried to use her face as my bed in the middle of the night. Having been tossed to the floor, I must now find a suitable place to rest my weary body. I will roam the halls now, returning occasionally to the authority's closed door and scratch the shit out of it until she opens it in spite...

 

[butters]

Dear diary, the authority seemed disturbed when I tried to use her face as my bed in the middle of the night. Having been tossed to the floor, I must now find a suitable place to rest my weary body. I will roam the halls now, returning occasionally to the authority's closed door and scratch the shit out of it until she opens it in spite...

ololololol

 

[Bidin~Time]

Dear diary, the authority seemed disturbed when I tried to use her face as my bed in the middle of the night. Having been tossed to the floor, I must now find a suitable place to rest my weary body. I will roam the halls now, returning occasionally to the authority's closed door and scratch the shit out of it until she opens it in spite...

they hate to love us and can't fathom how we survive when they aren't around.