Too Trite Dad/Daughter scene idea

[sirhugs]

Sally is a petite 18 yr old gymnast with fantastic long hair.

She breaks her wrist in a fall, so though she can bathe, she gets Mom to wash her hair at the kitchen sink. Then one day Mom has to run an errand, or go out of town, or something, so she asks Dad to do it. Of course, this being Lit, she takes off her top to avoid getting it wet and the proximity to topless daughter makes Dad hard, etc. etc.

(alternate possible McGuffin is Dad braiding the hair rather than washing, but then no need for top to come off).

But this needs something to spice it up, make it more than just another obvious stroke story... and no...not tentacle sex...unless it can be spicy tentacle sex, not the vanilla tentacle sex...

 

[blin18]

Are you sure that lovely long hair didn't get tangled in the front clasp of her bra? Cos that's a bitch to untangle; he might struggle with it for ages, trying to do it without touching her breasts ... and failing. I wouldn't be surprised if he gave up and told her to slip it off and put on another one, just so he could get a better angle at it. No, hang on, she's hurt, she can't remove it on her own. Maybe dad can help. Shit, vicious circle. Poor Dad.

Twist: Dad has early onset Parkinson's that causes his hands to shake. And its worse when he's nervous. Sally feels sorry for him, she doesn't want to ask him to stop because Mom is always treating him like a child and he needs a win in his life; even if it is just removing his gorgeous daughter's bra ... shit, I forgot ... no, he was UNTANGLING her hair.
Now if only his shaking hands didn't feel so gosh darn WONDERFUL. Oh goodness, are those my nipples? Please don't brush them with your shaking .... uh oh, too late.

 

[Hypoxia]

Dad has involuntarily magickal hands. He touches her long hair, which turns into tentacles. Hilarity ensues.

 

[Sean Renaud]

I think the problem I'm seeing is kind of the arbitrariness. Having broken a hand before the hard part of bathing and washing ones hair under those conditions is keeping your cast dry. Everything else is more annoying than impossible. Certainly not the kind of impossible that would have Dad invited in to help. Maybe Mom, but that has more to do with (what I percieve) is apparently a huge bonding thing for women. There's also the fact that I don't see why she'd wear a regular bra, why not a bikini top or sports bra? She's going to get her hair by a third party she doesn't want seeing her topless. It's simple enough to throw on something that you don't mind getting wet.

I think this works better as one of those Daddy Daughter stories where one or both parties has been subtly trying (to much frustration) to get the other's attention. The dad forgetting his towel and having to walk to the linen closet to grab one when she's on her way to work, the daughter coming out just wearing her ex's Jersey, the dad accidently leaving his Daddy Daughter porn on the tv and magically being away from teh remote when she walks into the house, the daughter going to town on an ice cream cone while talking to him about how she'll always be daddy's little girl complete with a little bit dripping down her chin. This situation is pretty much both of them kinda putting the pieces together at the same time that they are never going to get the other to make the first move and both mutually making the first move.

 

[lovecraft68]

I know this is lit. I know this is fiction. I know we all indulge in porn absurdity in one way or another.

But somethings we say "hey, whatever, its lit" and other things make our eyes role and its all different depending on person reading writing we all have the tropes that thrill us and the ones that annoy us.

This one....

I can't get past two points

Why can't she wait for mom to come home? Her hair could survive a night without washing it.

And even if dad washed it, why the hell does her top have to be off? She would just wear an old t-shirt she didn't care about.

Guess this is one that I get stuck on the reality button.

 

[Hypoxia]

Guess this is one that I get stuck on the reality button.

That's why I suggested the tentacles scenario. Once we get there, reality is... well, not necessarily irrelevant, but... flexible, yes, that's it. With magickal hands and tentacle hair, she doesn't have to go topless until AFTER the transformation. And once she transforms, well, anything goes, doesn't it? Her tentacles have a mind of their own -- removing clothes and inhibitions, exuding pheromones, drawing daddy closer, engorging membranes and lacunae, seeking vital bodily essences -- all the usual stuff. 'Normal' motivations need not apply. Have fun!

 

[Sean Renaud]

That's because of the strange, strange world of fiction and porn. I forget the exact wording but it is said "In real life shit can just happen, in fiction there has to be a reason." The reason here seems to be random but the set up is odd and troublesome.

In porn we're used to non-plots. The set up doesn't really need to make sense because honestly we don't care about it. Hell even in erotic fiction I've had plenty of readers tell me they often do the same thing that I do when watching a dvd. "blah, blah, blah. He's black, she's white. Blah blah blah. It's during the Civil War. Blah blah blah. As soon as the last Confederate soldier had fled or was killed Ms. Clara collapsed into Dred's arms. She noticed his bulging muscles beneath his shirt, the smell of his sweat, the beating of his heart. They were all so much larger than life. She actually forgot for a moment that she was still nude from bathing. The thing that reminded her was feeling something brushing against her thigh. Something that awoke a hunger in her.

Did you notice where they actually started reading? This set up seems custom built to be one of those. Only most of us here (admittedly because we're narcissists) want to do better than that and without a new dimension I don't see how it's possible.

Of course if the big hang up is that you don't know why she can't wait for her mother to come back it's as simple as she has someplace to go that couldn't wait and the majority of men know enough about women's hair and most women would give you a by that if you said something along the lines of "it was hot and humid, if she'd done it the night before it would be frizzy and ruined" that you'd get a by.

 

[lovecraft68]

That's because of the strange, strange world of fiction and porn. I forget the exact wording but it is said "In real life shit can just happen, in fiction there has to be a reason." The reason here seems to be random but the set up is odd and troublesome.

In porn we're used to non-plots. The set up doesn't really need to make sense because honestly we don't care about it. Hell even in erotic fiction I've had plenty of readers tell me they often do the same thing that I do when watching a dvd. "blah, blah, blah. He's black, she's white. Blah blah blah. It's during the Civil War. Blah blah blah. As soon as the last Confederate soldier had fled or was killed Ms. Clara collapsed into Dred's arms. She noticed his bulging muscles beneath his shirt, the smell of his sweat, the beating of his heart. They were all so much larger than life. She actually forgot for a moment that she was still nude from bathing. The thing that reminded her was feeling something brushing against her thigh. Something that awoke a hunger in her.

Did you notice where they actually started reading? This set up seems custom built to be one of those. Only most of us here (admittedly because we're narcissists) want to do better than that and without a new dimension I don't see how it's possible.

Of course if the big hang up is that you don't know why she can't wait for her mother to come back it's as simple as she has someplace to go that couldn't wait and the majority of men know enough about women's hair and most women would give you a by that if you said something along the lines of "it was hot and humid, if she'd done it the night before it would be frizzy and ruined" that you'd get a by.

Actually the solution is make him a single dad. That gets out of the can't wait for mom. But why she would be topless gets to me.

But you made a great point about being a narcissist. Some writers are as stroke oriented as some readers.

Dan saw his mom's door open and walked in. "Hey, mom, I need..." he stopped and stared in shock at the sight of his mother naked on her bed, legs spread her right hand busy between them...He instantly became hard at the sight of his mother masturbating and seeing him watching, his mother's eyes fixed on his bulging crotch and licking her lips asked, "Is that for me"

Sound of bell....and we're off!

That's all it takes for a good chunk of readership here.

But then there are writers like myself who say pfffttttt..... to that. Oh, no, no mindless lust here, I need a reason! I need justification!

This is how I always end up over 5 lit pages. Hell in one story when the mother found out her son was attracted to her she....took him to a shrink!

So its a matter of taste and style, and I guess you're right....Ego.

My goal in incest stories is to try to make someone say, "You know, I can almost see that happening"

because lets face it, incest is the most absurd category there is. By nature reality takes a vacation so its a challenge and I strive to meet it.

I think my best to date (many said borderline disturbing) is "That Damn red Dress"

 

[BuckyDuckman]

Actually the solution is make him a single dad. That gets out of the can't wait for mom. But why she would be topless gets to me.

I'm with you as far as the topless part, except - maybe that's a plot element? Mom and daughter refuse to adhere to the double standard that only guys are allowed to go topless? Or, at some point, dad has been told, "Their tits, get it over it." Either way, it potentially leaves dad in an awkward situation when he's innocently asked to help his daughter in need. Then, much to his awkward horror, having her topless AND bent over the sink . . . he has a man's reaction, leading to . . . yep, you guessed it! Him pulling out his tentacle of dicks and giving his daughter the DP she has ALWAYS wanted!

But you made a great point about being a narcissist. Some writers are as stroke oriented as some readers.

Hey! Some of us take shit like that personally!

 

[sirhugs]

I know this is lit. I know this is fiction. I know we all indulge in porn absurdity in one way or another.

But somethings we say "hey, whatever, its lit" and other things make our eyes role and its all different depending on person reading writing we all have the tropes that thrill us and the ones that annoy us.

This one....

I can't get past two points

Why can't she wait for mom to come home? Her hair could survive a night without washing it.

And even if dad washed it, why the hell does her top have to be off? She would just wear an old t-shirt she didn't care about.

Guess this is one that I get stuck on the reality button.

Mom would need to be away for the weekend, and she's going out with friends... or Mom was away and now it;s Monday, and school. Or she's just home from the gym, and is all sweaty.

the topless is tougher to make "real". Maybe it is an old almost transparent Tshirt that becomes see through when wet?

 

[sirhugs]

...
But you made a great point about being a narcissist. Some writers are as stroke oriented as some readers.

...

Hey! I resemble that remark!

 

[Carnevil9]

That's because of the strange, strange world of fiction and porn. I forget the exact wording but it is said "In real life shit can just happen, in fiction there has to be a reason." The reason here seems to be random but the set up is odd and troublesome.......

The way I heard it was: "Why is truth stranger than fiction? Because fiction has to make sense!"

Anyway, as for the why-not-wait-for-Mom dilemma, what's wrong with Mom washing the hair, and having it turn into Mother/Daughter sex? The setup is more believable, and the story is less trite.

 

[Sean Renaud]

That could be the proper phrase Carne. Sometimes I only remember the gist of something or if I'm not trying to sound like I'm a copy cat I'll change it on purpose. Regardless.

That actually to some extent annoys me in modern fiction. Off on a tangent I know but sometimes things just are and that's all there needs to be to it. Like in the old ninja turtles very little reason is ever given for the ooze. It's a mistake, the turtles are "miracles" but there is no greater purpose. The new ones were basically designed. Same with Spiderman, now instead of being a freak his parents were secret agents, everybody and their mom was in on the damn spider. I think Stan Lee was really onto something when he said "FUCK IT. X-MEN. Born with extra powers. Because fuch you that's why!"

As for this I think you could sell it as the OP stated if you went as a kinda comedy route. I find that you can go so far over the top that you come right back round if you try.

 

[sirhugs]

. yep, you guessed it! Him pulling out his tentacle of dicks and giving his daughter the DP she has ALWAYS wanted!



Hey! Some of us take shit like that personally!

"That tickles Daddy"

"Just for the first moment, Sally"

"Ohhhhh, yesssssss"

 

[Bramblethorn]

Dad has involuntarily magickal hands. He touches her long hair, which turns into tentacles. Hilarity ensues.

This would make the broken wrist much less of a problem.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Actually the solution is make him a single dad. That gets out of the can't wait for mom. But why she would be topless gets to me.

Or he's a professional hairdresser who's better at hair-washing than mom is.

As to how things get steamy... for some people, having their hair washed is an incredibly sensual experience. I've seen an advice-column letter from a guy who was afraid he must be gay because of the way he felt while having his hair washed by a hairdresser who happened to be male. I have long hair and I bliss out when my partner brushes it for me; it's not a huge stretch to imagine things shifting from sensual to sexual.

 

[sethp]

Daughter is wearing mother's brand new expensive white top. In an effort to mess with her dad and mom....just typical teen stuff.

She's washing her own hair in the sink with her one good hand and accidentilly turns on the garbage disposal...stopping it just in time but she's stuck tight in there and bent over ...big tits pressed against the counter top.

in her haste to turn off the garbage disposal she knocks over a cup of coffee. it's going to get on her mother's shirt so she unbuttons it and takes it off. Now she's topless with her head stuck in the sink, her large boobs against the counter and coffee leaking towards her. In walks the Dad!

Ga-Bam!~ Epic story!

 

[Ldy_Sea]

Daughter shatters arm. Its in one of those braces where the arm is held motionless off to the side of the body. Mom usually bathes daughter, but mom had to go out of town for a few days for work. Daughter has a big event coming up (porm, cotillion, beauty pagent, etc..) and needs to shower and dress for the event. Daughter can't undress herself or wash herself without help.

Daughters BFF was supposed to come over and help, but she got grounded. Dad calls all the woman he knows and no one is free. Dad must then undress bathe, and dress daughter for the night out...

Orgasms ensue...